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Retirement funny wishes

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Retirement funny wishes
December 15, 2018 Wedding Anniversary Wishes 3 comments

Below you find funny retirement quotes used to quote your boss, colleagues on their special occasion of retirement. May be you can use some.

Wish them a happy retirement with a pretty card and one of these retirement messages!

If you want to include a small gift, we’ve got plenty of options at SerenataFlowers.com.

50+ Retirement Messages

  1. May you have a relaxing new chapter ahead – one where you will have unlimited time enjoying your life. Happy Retirement!
  2. Start listening to your heart… it’s the best gift you can give yourself when you retire. Congratulations.
  3. Life tends to give happiness in installments – the biggest and best one being right up ahead. Congratulations on retiring.
  4. Thanks for making our work life much easier and funny. Now you can unwind your mind and spend some time with your family and best friends. May you get the best of everything in life.
  5. All your life you were wondering why you tolerated an annoying boss and put up with irritating colleagues – retirement is the answer. Congratulations.
  6. Enjoy your freedom and unlimited weekends! Congratulations on your retirement!
  7. The main course of your life has been amazing. Now finish it off with a classic dessert. Wish you a happy retirement.
  8. Morning coffees will finally be what they are meant to be – relaxed and de-stressing. Happy retirement.
  9. Not only you were my boss, you were also a great friend that I can turn to throughout our years together in the office/company. Cheers to a hard-earned and well-deserved retirement!
  10. Retirement is an opportunity that life gives you to stop complaining about not having the time or chance to do what you always wanted. Congratulations.
  11. Now you have no excuses for not having enough time for posting selfies with grandkids. Congratulations on retiring.
  12. Retirement is equals to freedom. I hope you enjoy doing the things that you don’t have time for before. Congratulations! Happy Retirement!
  13. No more targets, no more goals, no more KPIs and no more meetings. All there’s left to do now is to unfurl all the happiness that life has in store. Congratulations on your retirement.
  14. Wishing a very special person a fulfilling retirement. May your new journey be filled with joy!
  15. Retirement is equals to freedom. I hope you enjoy doing the things that you don’t have time for before. Congratulations! Happy Retirement!
  16. Stock up with lots of drinks, good music and delicious food – the biggest party of your life is about to start. Happy retirement.
  17. Wishing you a long, happy, and healthy retirement.
  18.  Retirement is your chance to be true to your own self. It is an opportunity to pick up forgotten hobbies and nurture the little kid within you. After all, it’s never too late to start living the life that you have always wanted to.
  19. Wishing you the best on your life after this retirement. We’ll miss you.
  20. No more targets, no more goals, no more KPIs and no more meetings. All there’s left to do now is to unfurl all the happiness that life has in store. Congratulations on your retirement.
  21. A successful team is a group of many hands but of one mind. We were glad to work with a boss like you and wish you a happy retirement!.
  22. You have been a big part of the company. Your knowledge and years of experience brought the company to where it is today. Thank you for all the hard work! We will miss you so much!
  23.  Retirement is when life gives you the greatest reward there can ever be – peace of mind. Congratulations.
  24. You now don’t have to wake up to the sound of your alarm clock beckoning you to work. You can enjoy unlimited time of golfing, driving around town and cooking, unless you want to take my place? Happy Retirement!
  25. Best wishes on your retirement, may it be even better than you ever imagined.
  26. Congratulations on your retirement. We wish you tons of happiness in the years ahead.
  27. Don’t worry about setting a budget for your retirement. Just focus on setting a timelines to fulfill all your dreams. Congratulations.
  28. Congratulations, now the fun begins. Best wishes on your new chapter in life.
  29. To one of the best people that the company/office has ever had. Congratulations on your retirement!
  30. Best wishes for your retirement. Make sure that you Keep working hard, and be your own boss.
  31. Wishing you good health, good luck and great success in your retirement.
  32. Retirement is the moment when all your favorite colleagues turn into your best friends.
  33. Best wishes for you on retirement. Enjoy your time with your family and friends. May every moment of your life be fulfilling and full of joy.
  34. All your hard work has been paid off! It is time for you to take that vacation you have been craving for without worrying about getting to work the next day. You deserve it! Happy Retirement!
  35. Retiring is like falling in love for the first time. Thinking about it gives you butterflies in the stomach and you will never know how it feels until you actually retire. Happy retirement.
  36. Retirement is life’s biggest irony. You’ve got all the free time in the world to do whatever you like, but your aging body will probably refuse to do most of those things. Have fun!
  37. I wish that your retirement will be everything you dreamed that it would be.
  38. As your career comes to an end, please know that your influence carries on. Countless lives have been impacted through the knowledge you have imparted. Hoping your retirement is everything you ever dreamed it could be.
  39. Best wishes and good luck for a fulfilling retirement.
  40. Wishing you and your family all the best as you enter into a new phase of your life. May you enjoy the extra time that you’ll be spending with them.
  41. Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up and can’t stay up all night even if you want to. So in short, it is boring. Congratulations.
  42. Retirement is the best time to spend all your savings – they aren’t going to be of much use later. Congratulations.
  43. People retire because they reach a certain age, but businessmen like you can retire because they’ve reached the zenith of success. Congratulations.
  44. You may have got many promotions throughout your career, but the best perks of your life star now as you spend more time with your friends and family. Congratulations on retiring.
  45. Your retirement actually means that you got promoted to one of the best roles in your life. Congratulations.
  46. Congratulations, now every day will feel like a never-ending weekend. All of us at the office are jealous and very happy for you. Happy Retirement!
  47. You deserved it! Jet to your private island, switch off your phone and enjoy the well deserved rest. Happy Retirement!
  48. I didn’t believe you will make it, but you did – now it’s time to say goodbye not just to your colleagues, but also to your phone and computer. Enjoy your well deserved rest and keep in touch.
  49. The most joyful time of your  life – now you are officially allowed to do whatever you please! Where would the road take you? Happy Retirement!
  50. The wait is over – your retirement age approached faster than you thought and now it’s time to make a plan B – tick off some major life goals and do what makes you happy. You are retired and entitled to be a little selfish. Enjoy!

sources: congratulationsto.com, wishesmessages.com, dgreetings.com, wishesgreetings.com, retirementmessages.com

Lily Calyx

Lily Calyx is our in-house flower whisperer, an expert on all things botanical and an enthusiastic orchids collector. She loves discussing the insights of the secret world of flowers, shares her gardening tips and hacks and moons over the latest additions to Serenata Flowers flower range. Ask Lily anything about flowers and we can guarantee she will have the answer.

Related Posts

See sample ways to wish your coworker a happy retirement. These examples of retirement wishes will guide you as you wish a coworker a happy retirement.

75 Inspiring Happy Retirement Wishes

retirement funny wishes

Retirement is an important moment in anyone’s life.

After decades of working hard and building a career, they can now take a deep breath and admire what has been achieved.

It’s also a season of deep reflection and ample time for the retiree, allowing him/her to do the things they love doing and have always wanted to.

However, retirement is also a very uncertain period for most people, as a study by GoBankingRates showed that more than half of Americans have no more than $10000 saved for retirement. What’s more? 1 in 3 Americans have no savings at all.

How scary is that?

This makes it such a sensitive chapter of anyone’s life and knowing the right things to say when wishing a coworker happy retirement can further motivate them.

Most often, a retirement is received with mixed feelings and it can be hard to find the right choice of words to use when wishing your colleague a happy retirement.

You can wish your colleague a happy retirement in some ways such as throwing a retirement party for them, buying them gifts or sending them a retirement card.

The most common way most you can use to wish your coworker a happy retirement is by giving them a retirement card.

HOW TO WRITE A RETIREMENT CARD

A retirement card is very easy to write but choosing the right words can be a bit dicey.

Most often one can get confused about what to write in the card because there are numerous things you want to write all at once.

There is a tendency to start writing a card with a specific intention but the end result reads different from what you intended to pass across.

Say for example, your colleague is retiring and he was the best coworker you had, you may intend to write about his awesome qualities and how you enjoyed working with him.

But you could get confused while writing and then end up talking about how he has a great dress sense and a good sense of humor.

To avoid such confusion it is important to separate the different possible contents of a retirement card into categories.

Once you pick a category, your message to the person will revolve around it. For the purpose of this article, below are some of the categories you can pick from.

  1. Memories
  2. Impact/Influence
  3. Qualities/Characteristics
  4. Retirement Freedom
  5. Future Plans

RETIREMENT CARD CATEGORIES

1. Memories

Under this category, your message will focus on the fun memories you share with a coworker.

Talk about your favorite memory of them and to add humor to it, make mention of an inside joke that two of you share.

Talking about your favorite memories of the person in the retirement card takes him down memory lane and makes him think of how the time he spent in the organization was worth it.

It also endears them to you and warms up their heart knowing that you treasure them well enough to store a memory of them in your heart.

This is a sign to them that you won’t forget them in a hurry and their years of laboring won’t be easily forgotten. It gives them an assurance that they are irreplaceable.

For people that are scared of retirement because of the uncertainty of the future that lies ahead, sharing the fun memories they created will help to ease the tension they feel.

The beautiful thing about writing a retirement note that revolves around favorite memories is that whenever the person picks up the note, be it after a few days, months or years, their heart gets warm and they will definitely smile.

When writing a note on memories, make sure it is a memory that is pleasant to the receiver of the note.

Don’t write about embarrassing moments or awkward moments that left the person feeling bad.

The aim of writing a note is to make your colleague feel loved and valued, you don’t want to ruin that by bringing memories that leave a bitter taste in their mouth.

If the memory is so funny, ensure that the receiver of the note also thinks it is funny.

If there are people that were a part of the memory that are already dead or fell out with the receiver of the note, try not to talk about such memories so that you don’t end up sending the wrong signal and trigger a wrong emotion in the receiver.

You can only write about such memories if your coworker considers it to be extremely funny or is indifferent about the negative part of it.

Below are samples of what you can write on, when focusing on the memories you created with your fellow employee, during the time you spent working with him/her.

“Hey, do you remember when we got so bored at work and needed some humor and we took out the lavatory sign on the door of the boss’s office and that old lady went in?

I’ll definitely miss having my partner in crime around.”

“Remember when you pulled a prank on me and said the boss needed to see me urgently and I ran into his office without knocking.

The clueless look he had on his face when he saw me was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Thank you for giving me a lot to laugh about, I’ll miss those moments.”

“I know you won’t forget the day we had a last minute preparation for a presentation and we goofed. You introduced yourself as me and I introduced myself as you. So glad everyone in the room laughed along.”

“I won’t forget our first fishing trip together. You caught the biggest fish, twenty years down the line; I still haven’t beaten your record.”

“Remember the first time we went camping with our families together in the woods and we pulled a prank on the children. I haven’t laughed as much as I did on that day.”

“I remember when you taught me how to enter my data into the company’s database easily. That singular lesson improved my efficiency at work thank you for that day and many more.”

Basically, the whole idea is to bring back memories. You don’t necessarily have to tell the entire story; just a short summary of the event will make the memories flood right back.

2. Impact/Influence

This category focuses on the ways your coworker influenced you.

Talk about the impact they made on your life and in the organization.

Focus on the positive marks they made in your life.

When wishing someone a happy retirement it isn’t the right time to remind them of how they hurt you or did wrong things to you.

No one is without fault and it is most likely that in the course of time you spent working together, your colleague must have stepped on your toes once or twice.

Look beyond their shortcomings and identify the positive influence or impact they made in your life.

The impact or influence could be a word of encouragement that was given when you were at a very low point, it could be support (financial or emotional) that they gave you when you desperately needed it.

It could also be the helping hand they lent you when you needed help or can also be the inspiration you derived from observing their work ethics and approach to work.

Maybe having them around brought out the best in you or pushed you to identify hidden potentials that you never knew you had.

Think of all the times they were there for you and the influence they had on you. Pick out your favorite from any of those moments and write about it in the retirement note.

Let them know that despite the fact that the time has come for them to go, the legacy they left behind won’t be easily forgotten.

For example, Mr. John is your coworker that’s retiring. When you were newly employed, Mr. John went out of his way to show you how things are done.

In the office and coached you, making sure you had no difficulty settling in and as a result of the help he gave you, you became very productive at work and constantly got commended by your boss.

In the retirement note you are sending to Mr. John, remind him of all that and you could say something like:

“You were an excellent coach and my go-to person in the office, I promise to keep on your legacy by investing the same time and energy you invested in me in the new staff that come to the office just like you did.”

If he was always excited and got his work done in a very cheerful way, you could write something like this on the note

“I used to think work was so boring until I saw how happy and enthusiastic you were about getting your job done, observing you happy and boisterous disposition to work made me discover the fun in the work.

Thank you for showing me that i can work and have fun at the same time.

Below are further examples of what to write in a retirement note when talking about the impact and the influence of a coworker in your life.

“Thanks for always listening to me and giving me constructive advice and criticism. Your constructive criticism pushed me to learn more and to be the better person that I am now. I’ll definitely miss having you around. “

“You have been my source of inspiration since I got into this company, you are one colleague I aspire to be like, your life is full of so much inspiration and I’m glad to have been inspired by you. Happy retirement my muse.”

“You are an irreplaceable part of the staff; I wonder how we will get work done here efficiently now that you are leaving us. Get ready to receive loads of calls from Terry and me to ask you how to do this and that. We will definitely miss you.”

“You are such an important part of this company and it’s weird to imagine the company without you. Every corner of this company has a touch of your amazing influence. We miss you already.”

“You are such an incredible person, I’m pretty sure heaven no longer makes your kind, the vacuum your retirement is leaving in this office is one that no one can easily fill. I miss you so much already.”

“The brain box of our team is finally leaving us and we are feeling all kinds of emotions right now. Every “Eureka” moment we had was as a result of your genius ideas. We wish you won’t go but we feel it is time you give that smart brain of yours a little rest. Enjoy your retirement team-mate, we love you.”

“You taught me not to ever bow my head in defeat no matter the circumstances. May your strength and courage pave the way for you as you enter a new phase of life.”

“I was able to grow in this competitive work environment because of your encouragement and guidance. Thank you for being a strong shoulder to lean on. May the days ahead be bright and beautiful for you. Lots of love.”

When writing about the impact of the person on your life be it directly or indirectly, make sure you do not over exaggerate.

Stay as simple and as truthful as possible. No matter how simple the impact may look it is better to keep it simple but truthful than colorful and untrue.

3. Qualities/Characteristics

If you choose to talk about the character and qualities of the person, it’s advisable that you dwell on the qualities that were relevant and useful in the workplace.

Don’t talk about the character or qualities that are of no relevance in the workplace since you are giving him the retirement card as a colleague and not as a friend.

For example, if he is good at playing soccer and you work in the health sector, don’t start talking about how he is so good on the soccer field and how he inspires you to be a player, no that’s off point.

Instead, talk about how he is good with patients and how he makes them feel relaxed or any other work-related quality he has that makes him an asset in the workplace.

Most often than not, people are remembered for their character and qualities. Even if the person wasn’t so close to you, you can still see the qualities he has from afar.

You don’t need to be cordial with a person before you can write about their attribute and qualities in the workplace.

Talk about the beautiful trait they have and how it has positively influenced their career, their colleagues and the organization or company.

Qualities or characteristics you can talk about here can be their dedication to work, punctuality, diligence, honesty, jovial nature, and great customer relation skill etc.

While mentioning the qualities, you can also talk about how the qualities improved the work environment or influenced you positively.

Below are some example notes you could write if you are focusing on the qualities of your retiring colleague.

“You have a heart of gold you see the good in others even when they are unaware of it and you bring out the best of everyone around you. I wish you the best in life.”

“Your excellent problem-solving skill made us wiggle out of many problematic situations at work. Thank you for making sure that I never got into trouble I’ll miss having you around.”

“Thank you for brightening our days at work with your melodious laughter and your warm jokes. You were our therapy for anxiety. May the days ahead be very bright and melodious like your contagious laughter.”

“Thanks for filling the office with your positive energy and being optimistic even when the rest of us were pessimistic. Your energy was what kept us going when we were at our wit’s end. We love you and will miss your positive vibes.”

“Our early bird is finally migrating. I didn’t know it was possible to be consistent at one thing for more than thirty years without failing. For the past thirty years; there was never a day you came in late. Wow. I learnt how to be punctual because of your punctuality. Happy retirement Mr. Punctual.”

“Your special charm was all we needed when we were faced with a grumpy and hard to please client, your customer care skill is second to none in the entire universe. We already miss you, happy retirement.”

The aim of writing about the qualities or characteristics of your coworker is to make him realize that you appreciate his character and that he was an asset to the organization.

Whenever he sees your card, he will definitely have a smile on his face because he is convinced that he didn’t spend those years working for nothing.

Knowing that he is remembered for good will make him feel he spent his years well.

4. Retirement Freedom

You can choose to do something a little bit different from the regular talk about memories and qualities and write about the freedom that comes with retirement.

As stated earlier, some people feel tense when the time for retirement comes because they can’t seem to think of how they will cope with a new phase after years of doing the same thing every day.

For some, it may appear weird that they now have to stay at home on Monday when everyone else is hurrying off to work or perhaps they have no meaningful pension plan or retirement savings as studies have shown 15% of Americans have no financial plan for retirement.

You can help them ease that tension by talking about the fun of being retired.

While writing a note in this category ensures that you sound funny, don’t be too serious.

Your aim is to get your colleague to look at retirement from the bright side and not to dampen his mood by talking of how he is so going to die of boredom at home or how he will have a hard time adjusting to the new life.

That’s insensitive and inappropriate, you wouldn’t want someone to write that in a card and give you when you are retiring.

Rather talk about the exciting life that awaits him and how he can make every single day count by having fun.

Make him realize that he has paid his dues and it is now time to sit back and enjoy the dividends of his years of labor.

Below are examples of what you can write in the card you will present to your coworker.

“Congratulations on your promotion to the level of retirement, you now have unlimited access to all the fun you deserve.”

“Based on your promotion to the level of a retiree, your new responsibilities are the maximum investment in relaxation and happiness returns. Happy retirement buddy.”

“Congratulations on becoming your own boss, you now get to decide when you want to leave the house and how many hours your lunch break should be. Enjoy your freedom.”

Hurray, you have been upgraded from salary level to pension level, a level where you automatically reap the fruit of your years of labor. Enjoy your new level. Happy retirement.”

I wish I were you right now, no more long boring stressful hours at work and jumping out of bed when the alarm rings. Enjoy your freedom.”

“You can now put the same level of effort you put into work, into enjoying yourself, your new annual goal is to have so much fun until it feels illegal. Congratulations on a well-deserved retirement”

The examples above are just samples to guide you; you can talk about other stressful things that they will no longer have to face and how retirement is a luxury you long for one day.

Make them feel so good about finally going to rest after years of hard-work.

5. Future Plans

This is almost similar to the previous category of retirement freedom that we talked about but it is a bit different.

In the former category, all you get to talk about is how lucky he is to be finally free from the stress of work and how he now has the freedom to do whatever he wants to do.

But this category focuses on helping the person keep his dreams and visions alive.

There are a lot of people that have dreams about what their life after retirement will be but when the reality of retirement dawns on them, they tend to lose focus and become a bit confused.

Most often when someone is unsure of his next move, he becomes a little bit tensed.

If you notice your coworker doesn’t look excited about retirement like he was initially, then it could be a sign that he doesn’t know what to do or how to go about the plans he has made.

If you have a colleague in this type of situation, you can help by giving him a card that talks about the dreams and visions he had and encourage him to pursue them.

For example, based on a GoBankingRates survey that found women are less likely to have sufficient retirement savings, your female coworker who has always talked about how she wants to start a book club for women when she retires from work, could be scared due to lack of savings.

Hence, you can write a note that encourages her and says:

“Happy retirement girl the time has come to finally actualize your dream of having a book club, count me in as your first member, I look forward to the first meeting.”

Not only did you wish her a happy retirement, but you also reminded her of what she has in mind to do with the new spare time she has and you also show her support by saying you are signing up as the first member of her book club.

Below are staples of notes you can write in the retirement card for your colleague depending on the plans they have for the future.

For a coworker that loves nature and adventure and has looked forward to going on a vacation, you can write a note that says:

“The era of adventure has finally arrived, you can now travel around the world and explore different continents and have the fun of your life. Happy retirement.”

Or you can write a note that says

“Adventure time is finally here. Get ready for a rollercoaster of enjoyment as you take in the beautiful nature of the continents of the earth. Happy retirement explorer.”

“You can now go skydiving, zip lining, and kayaking where ever you want too, the great thing is you can be away for as long as you want without running back to work. Happy retirement free bird.”

For a colleague that wants to start a business after retirement you can write:

“You have been promoted from the level of an employee to a boss. I have no doubt that you will succeed at whatever business you choose to do.”

“New boss alert, you are now your own boss. Happy retirement.”

If your kind of work is time-consuming and barely gave you enough time for family and if your coworker is a family oriented and has dreamt of spending more time with his family, you can write:

“You can now spend all the days of the week with your family without having to worry about being fired. You now get paid to have fun with your family. Happy retirement.”

“Family vacation can now be planned at will and at whatever period of the year, you no longer have to wait for approval to spend quality time with your family.”

“It’s time to settle all the arrears of the family time you have been wishing for all these years. Have fun until it begins to feel like a crime. Happy retirement.”

You can also talk about the plans that the two of you made and how he now has the privilege of going through with the plans without any barrier.

While writing the note ensure that it sounds Interesting and it triggers excitement, don’t make it plain and boring.

The future may be uncertain but if it is properly planned it can be exciting and colorful, that is what you should make him realize in the note.

No matter what category you choose to write, ensure that the tone of the write up is a happy one.

Wish him the best, don’t dampen his mood by sounding sad or make it look like he is going to a place where you won’t be able to reach him again.

Make him realize that the fact that he is leaving the workplace doesn’t mean that you are erasing him from your life.

If you have just a formal relationship with the colleague, you can keep the note formal but still happy.

While writing the note don’t make the mistake of making it look as if you are happy to see them leave, make sure you don’t pass across a “good riddance to bad nonsense” message, it’s better not to write a note at all than to write one that will make the person feel like a burden or not wanted.

CONCLUSION

You may still see your colleague after He or she retires especially if they reside in the same area or city with you, but if they’re relocating out of the environment, there is every possibility that your paths may never cross again.

Whatever may be the case, make sure you leave a good final impression.

Let them leave with a good last memory of you and the best way you can ensure that is by wishing them a happy retirement in a good retirement card filled with a heart-warming note.

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How to Wish Your Coworker a Happy Retirement

retirement funny wishes

The best part about is that they will be relatable to pretty much everybody including educators, teachers, specialists, engineers, IT folks, attendants, bookkeepers, business administrators or even the agreeable oldie working at the area grocery store. Read them below and consider how you can inject cleverness in your welcome.

Regardless of whether it is for your associates, managers, father, mother, companions or somebody in the family – ensure your witty lines put a grin on the new retiree’s face. Keep in mind to share your words on Facebook and Pinterest.

The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include:

  1. The days of 9-5 are past! happy days are here at last!
  2. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments!
  3. All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again!
  4. The job you waited for for 50 years! Retirement!
  5. Retirement! it’s like sleeping while you are awake. Well done!
  6. You can now not worry about doing anything wrong nor getting caught at it!
  7. What do you call a person who is always happy each and every Monday? Retired!
  8. Worked all me life, paid me due’s, now I will do, whatever I choose!
  9. Time to stop working for that living and working at living!
  10. You have finally “Got a Life!”
  11. Retirement! Where every day is Saturday!
  12. I don’t have to do it, I don’t want to do it and you can’t make me do it I’m retired!
  13. You’re retired, not expired!
  14. Enjoy the challenge of spending time without spending money!
  15. Retired! Say Hi to your pension and goodbye to the tension!
  16. You’re retied! We know your young at heart and slightly older in other places!
  17. Retired! No Alarm Clock! No problem!
  18. Are you going to be a secret agent? Licenced to chill?
  19. Now you’re retired, you know everything and have plenty of time to tell everyone about it!
  20. The joy of retirement is having nothing to do all day!
  21. Remember, with retirement, you can wake up in the morning with zero to do and go to bed having done a mere half of it!
  22. Retirement: It takes all the meaning out of weekends!
  23. Now you are retired, you realize you will never have another day off, right?
  24. Now you are retired, you can get up at 6 am and drive around slowly delaying people everywhere!
  25. Time to maximize that senior discount!
  26. No better feeling than going to bed with no alarm set for tomorrow!
  27. Retirement! The money is not as good but the hours are!
  28. Behind every retired man is a wife just wishing he would go back to work!
  29. Retirement: Half the money but now you get twice the husband!
  30. I’m retired! You’re not! Have fun at work tomorrow!
  31. You found your true calling, Retirement!
  32. On the retirement clock it’s always five O’clock
  33. Keep calm and enjoy retirement!
  34. When people ask you what you are doing tomorrow, do you even care what day of the week it is? Happy Retirement!
  35. Retired! I now smile all the time because I can’t hear a word you are saying!
  36. Now you are retired, how are the new bosses, your grand kids?
  37. You are going to be the coworker I miss the most when emailing you from a few feet away!
  38. Retirement! Time to start giving advice to others you never followed!
  39. Fragile bones and a weak bladder. You still looking forward to your retirement? Congratulations!
  40. I bet you never thought how important medical insurance was until you retired!
  41. You say retirement is an adventure? IS climbing out of bed, climbing atop couches and diving into take out food fun?
  42. After retirement the body grows older, the heart grows fonder and the mind becomes younger. All the best at trying to handle an old body with a young mind and fond heart!
  43. Hey, now you are retired you can’t afford to do all the things you wanted too, anyway! Happy Retirement!
  44. I am thankful retirement is not optional otherwise I would be stuck working with you, forever! Happy Retirement!
  45. Off to retirement? Say Hi to your two new best friends, bed and couch!
  46. Retirement, it is like a party with no drinking, no hook-up’s and you fall asleep. In other words, boring! Congratulations!
  47. Your retirement will be like a vacation, except you are now too old to do the fun stuff! Congrats!
  48. Most people spend their whole lives planning their retirement but when they actually retire, they don’t know what to do. Don’t let this happen to you.
  49. Remember to tire yourself out with gardening grand kids and chores!
  50. Hey with all your college degrees, you now get to be a Master of doing nothing! Well done!
  51. C’mon! We all know retirement is the companies way of saying you are getting too old to work!
  52. Doing the things you wanted to do is not what retirement is for. It is remembering what you had to do. Good luck, pensioner!
  53. Retirement is like being on the edge of a cliff. Just know your next step is a downward plunge! Good luck!
  54. The company retiring you says they have found more energetic, youthful and talented staff than you! Happy Retirement!
  55. For someone as idle as you, retirement will not matter. You will just be lazy on an official basis!
  56. Hey, now you are retired, enjoy the next project: Doing nothing all day!
  57. No more boss shouting at you, just your wife shouting at you! Enjoy retirement!
  58. It doesn’t matter if you are grumpy when you retire, people just expect it anyway.
  59. The first day you do not change your underwear, consider yourself officially retired!
  60. Now you have reached retirement, enjoy this new turning point as you realize how messed up your priorities were!
  61. It’s time to spend away your life savings! Enjoy retirement.
  62. Retirement is said to be the slow and painful lead up to the sunset years of your life. Have fun old timer.
  63. Retirement, the bubble that bursts when you thought you were at the zenith of your career. Good luck, buddy!
  64. Retirement is the company way of saying they have no more use for an old and lazy bum like you. Goodbye!
  65. Retirement is life’s way of saying you are too weak and feeble to work any longer! Congratulations!
  66. You know, being retired is the only time in life you do not really mind not having a holiday!
  67. Every day of your retired life should be like a Friday. Shame you will feel like it is Monday, every day. Good luck!
  68. Congrats on retiring. Have fun watching your life’s savings dwindle!
  69. Retirement is great if you have much to live for and much to live on.
  70. When your colleagues give you a watch you know time is no longer of importance. Happy retirement!
  71. When you retire, it’s going to be tough to tell the difference!
  72. Is mandatory retirement the same as compulsive poverty?
  73. Retirement, when time is no longer money.
  74. The way some people work you wonder if they will achieve anything when they retire!
  75. Retirement, maybe time for your wife to get a stomach ulcer with you around all the time?
  76. Now you are retired, you can be tired, yesterday, today and tomorrow.
  77. Now you are retired you can burn all your boxes. Saves money and gets rid of your past, too!
  78. Having worked all of your life, retirement should be easy!
  79. You know before you retired, you should have taken a week off and watched daytime TV every day!
  80. Now you are retired you will actually have time to read about problems with retirement!
  81. We know you retired for health reasons. You were sick of them, they were sick of you!
  82. Now you are retired you have nothing to do and no way to tell if you have done it!
  83. Now you are retired, can you still remember the things you wanted to do?
  84. Now your wife realizes you never gave your secretary enough sympathy during the daytime either!
  85. Drinking coffee on your own time is the one downside of retirement! Enjoy!
  86. Enjoy every retirement day as if it was your last day; one day you will be right about it.
  87. Now your retired, will your bedtime be after you have fallen asleep on the couch for three hours? Enjoy!
  88. The older you get the less peer pressure you will have. Well Done!
  89. Enjoy retirement and knowing you are over the hill when your back goes out more frequently than you do!
  90. On the bright side of being retired, kidnappers are less interested in you. Enjoy retirement!
  91. Happy Retirement. Go play golf and make your wife think you are still having fun!
  92. Enjoy your retirement! Don’t spend all your money just in case you don’t die!
  93. Is your happy retirement now a full time job for your wife?
  94. Enjoy and be proud of being gainfully unemployed Happy Retirement!
  95. Hey now you are retired, you don’t have to wear pants!
  96. Now I am retired I am not going to stop laughing because I am old, because you grow old when you do stop laughing!
  97. Working people have a lot of bad habits., but the worst of these is work. Congrats on your retirement!
  98. You are retiring from work ,not from life. Enjoy, my friend!
  99. Never act your age in retirement and have lots of fun!
  100. You don’t have to remember what you got up for anymore! Have fun in retirement!

We hope you enjoyed reading our Funny Retirement Quotes, stay tuned for more from SLS Communities. Read 100 Retirement Wishes Here.

Retire In Arizona With SLS Communities

A funny card can be just as effective as a thoughtful card if you have a great Best wishes in your retirement.

All Play and No Work: 21 Funny Retirement Wishes

retirement funny wishes

Is someone you know retiring? When people retire it’s a significant event in their life, and finding something meaningful or funny to write in their retirement card can be challenging. We’ve rifled through the inter-web, rummaged through our cards and come up with some popular and unique ideas for you. From funny quotes to sincere messages, simply pick your favourite.

Light Hearted Wishes

  1. Congratulations! The money is no better in retirement, but the hours sure are.
  2. I hope you’re looking forward to the feeling of never having to go to bed at night and set an alarm again.
  3. Enjoy working at living, instead of living at work.
  4. In retirement, there’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
  5. Now you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life.
  6. Goodbye tension, hello pension!
  7. Welcome to happy Mondays!
  8. Happy retirement. Time to stop lying about your age and start lying around the house!
  9. Well done on climbing the mountain, now you can finally enjoy the view!
  10. Congrats on retiring! Now it doesn’t matter if the government decides to increase the retirement age.

Funny Messages

  1. Remember retirement is an adventure! Especially if you count trekking out of bed, climbing on sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.
  2. Retirement will make you realise that you wasted all those years trying to be mature when you can go back to being a child at the end of them. Enjoy!
  3. Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.
  4. Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party… except that you can’t drink, can’t dance and can’t stay up late. Enjoy!
  5. Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except that you are no longer fit to do most of the fun stuff.
  6. Congratulations on becoming the master of doing nothing.
  7. Congratulations on getting some new tires on your car. A card seems a little over the top though, I never got one.
  8. Congratulations on extending your weekends by 5 days!
  9. Retirement is great – you can finally do nothing without being worried about getting caught.
  10. God retired after just 6 days of creating the heavens and the earth. What took you so long?
  11. Please congratulate your partner on getting twice the husband, but only half the income.
  12. Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time called “doing nothing”!
  13. I hope you enjoy living off your savings. Let me know what you do after the second week…
  14. Happy retirement… think of it as a six month holiday, twice a year.
  15. Have fun doing the things you always wanted to… as long as you’re not too old to remember them!

Risqué / Controversial Messages

  1. Retirement will make no difference in your life except the fact that you can now do nothing, officially.
  2. Well done on being so tired, you had to retire.
  3. You’ll be back, I’ve met your partner.
  4. I hope you’re looking forward to retirement. Apart from the occasional heart attack, you’ll probably feel as young as you ever did.
  5. Well done on staying alive so long that your company had to force you to retire.
  6. Happy retirement. Enjoy old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical check-ups and a weak bladder!
  7. Good luck in retirement. I think we’ve all been able to tell for a while that the wheels are still spinning, but the hamster is slowing down.
  8. Life is too short – and now you will figure that out…
  9. Statistically you’re now more likely to die than if you’d carried on working. All the best!
  10. Happy retirement, is now a good time to point out that the next big event in your life will be your funeral…

Office Retirement Quotes

    1. Of all the people I have ever worked with. I can honestly say that you were one of them.
    2. Remember we’re all still working so try not to rub it in about the tough day you’ve had visiting the National Trust tearooms.
    3. Retirement is just a nice way for the company to tell you that they have found more energetic, talented, youthful and skilled staff than you.

 

  1. Good luck in retirement. We’re all going to really miss doing your work for you.
  2. Good decision to retire – you best go now before they find all your mistakes.
  3. Congratulations on your retirement! Although to be honest, I could have sworn you stopped working years ago.
  4. Aren’t you glad you stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man?
  5. We’re all going to really miss doing your work for you.

Sincere Wishes

  1. It’s been great working with you. Remember to relax and have fun, and avoid anything that resembles work for as long as possible.
  2. May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.
  3. Here’s to a well-deserved and happy retirement! Enjoy.
  4. All the best with your retirement. I hope you enjoy the greener pastures.
  5. Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Here’s hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.
  6. Enjoy your new found freedom and make the most of it. Happy retirement.
  7. Many congrats – here’s to a long, healthy and happy retirement.

For more ideas, check out our retirement cards where you can upload photos, add names and messages for that extra special touch.

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Retirement Wishes Continued - Looking for retirement quotes, wishes Enjoy the new opportunities to do fun and wonderful things just for you.

retirement funny wishes
Written by Kazibar
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