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Funny new year wishes

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Funny new year wishes
June 21, 2019 Wedding Anniversary Wishes 2 comments

These funny New Year wishes are perfect for that quirky friend or family member who can appreciate a good joke.

When the new years is about to begin, you can make your friends, relatives and other close persons feel good by sending few funny wishes for the coming year.


You can send wishes through greeting cards. However, you can also make use of online services and social media platforms to send the hilarious wishes to them.

You can put your creativity and imaginative capacities to good use when you compose these funny messages.

However, it would be a good idea not to write anything that has a negative connotation or has racial or religious context that can hurt the recipients.



New Year Funny Greetings

    • May all your weight loss aspirations be fulfilled in the New Year!


    • May god motivate you to indulge less in office gossips this year!


    • I wish you can evade your boss successfully while using instant messengers at workplace this year!


    • I wish you scare off everyone in your wonderful Halloween attire in the New Year!



    • I wish you end up fighting less with your partner over TV remote this New Year!


    • I wish you can maintain your resolution to quit smoking a few days more this new year!


    • I wish you finally learn how to use your Smartphone properly this New Year.


    • May god inspire you to finally enroll in that anger management course in New Year!


    • I wish you find a perfume this year that is less awe-inspiring than chocolate flavored EDT!


    • I pray sincerely no sequel is released in your favorite vampire romance this year!


    • I wish you end up without a funny face in group photos this year.


    • I wish Snoopy, your poodle, does not chew telephone chords or your favorite skirt this year!


    • I wish your dog becomes intelligent to wash muddy legs before running on carpets this year.


    • I wish the god spares you from telemarketing calls when trying to finish work in Friday evenings!


    • I wish the Hollywood actor you drool over does not get hooked by some starlet this year!


    • I wish your neighbor does not ask you to babysit his tantrum throwing daughter in weekends!


    • I genuinely wish your aunt does not gift you a florescent purple colored dress this year.


    • I wish your efforts at trimming your goatee at home turns out better this year!


    • I wish you do not end up ransacking the house for your specs wearing it on head this year.


    • I sincerely wish you make fewer resolutions to give up drinking this year!


    • I wish you can resist temptation to gorge on burgers during snack breaks this year.


    • I wish you do not rush to kitchen in middle of a call to realize the cake is burnt this year!


    • I wish there is less snowfall or queue when you wait for Black Friday Deals this year.


    • I sincerely wish you overcome your fear of cockroaches this new year.


    • I wish you finally implement the plan to use stairs instead of elevators at malls and markets!


    • I wish your favorite celebrity or model comes up with an easier to follow diet this New Year.


Funny New Year wishes and quotes for friends and family who enjoy taking a more light-hearted approach to New Year's eve and to.

Funny New Year Messages

funny new year wishes

New Years Poems

Free New Years poems, poetry, New Year toasts, New Years Eve poems,  New Years resolution verses, a Christian New Year poem, a New Year prayer and a New Year song.

Happy New Year Wish

My Happy New Year wish for you
Is for your best year yet,
A year where life is peaceful,
And what you want, you get.

A year in which you cherish
The past year’s memories,
And live your life each new day,
Full of bright expectancies.

I wish for you a holiday
With happiness galore;
And when it’s done, I wish you
Happy New Year, and many more.

By Joanna Fuchs

To view ALL our poem pages, see our SITE MAP

Here’s a Happy New Year wish poem that can be sent to just about anyone.

This free verse New Year's poem was written as a New Year greeting card message. 

In The New Year

In the New Year,
we wish you the best year you’ve ever had,
and that each New Year
will be better than the last.
May you realize your fondest dreams
and take time to recognize and enjoy
each and every blessing.

Happy New Year,
And many more!

By Joanna Fuchs

New Years poems for greeting cards should carry a positive message. This New Year poem is a happy poem for the new year. 

New Year’s Reflections

Looking back on the months gone by,
 As a new year starts and an old one ends,
 We contemplate what brought us joy,
 And we think of our loved ones and our friends.

Recalling all the happy times,
 Remembering how they enriched our lives,
 We reflect upon who really counts,
 As the fresh and bright new year arrives.

And when I/we ponder those who do,
 I/we immediately think of you.

Thanks for being one of the reasons I'll/We'll have a Happy New Year!

By Joanna Fuchs

This funny New Year’s poem addresses how time seems to fly. A funny New Year poem can show how we can choose to perceive that time rush in a positive way. 

Tick Tock

I’m writing this in a state of shock,
Watching the clock—tick tock, tick tock,
Advancing, approaching, relentlessly,
A brand new year; Oh, can it be?

The calendar says the same thing, too;
Time races, vanishes for me; Boo hoo!
No, wait! If time flies, I’m having fun!
A year of fun! It’s gone! It’s done!

I now embrace the blur of time,
Because it simply means that I’m
Too busy with pleasure, joy, delight
To mourn the passing days’ swift flight.

So I’m wishing you fast, happy days,
Pleasuring you in myriad ways,
Filled with happiness and cheer,
Oh Happy, Happy Bright New Year!

By Joanna Fuchs

Looking for New Year greeting words for your card? This free verse New Years poetry talks about priorities for the coming year, as many New Years poems do. 

People Like You

A brand new year!
A clean slate on which to write
our hopes and dreams.
This year:

Less time and energy on things;
More time and energy on people.
All of life’s best rewards,
deepest and finest feelings,
greatest satisfactions,
come from people--
people like you.

Happy New Year!

By Joanna Fuchs

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See the Rest of Our 
End-of-Year Holiday Poems:

Christmas Poems

Christian Christmas Poems

Holiday Poems

Here’s another New Years poem. It's a New Years wish that would fit nicely on a greeting card. It's a New Year wish designed to make the recipient feel valued. 

Pieces of Time

New years come and new years go,
 Pieces of time all in a row.
 As we live our life, each second and minute,
 We know we’re privileged to have you in it.
 Our appreciation never ends
 For our greatest blessings: our family and friends.

Happy New Year!

By Joanna Fuchs

New Years poems are often future oriented, looking for good things in the new year, as this free verse New Year wish does. 

Looking Forward

May this new year find you
healthier and happier,
peaceful, content, satisfied,
looking forward
to fresh, revitalizing interests,
a variety of pleasures,
interesting new people,
material and personal successes
to make this new year
the best one yet.
Happy New Year!

By Joanna Fuchs

New Year wishes can inspire. This New Year poem in free verse advises us to focus on what's positive in our lives. 

Look For The Good

In the New Year, let's resolve
 to get less stressed, upset, anxious
 about things over which we have no control.
 Lets have a narrower focus on our lives,
 loving and helping our family and friends,
 making our community a better place to live,
 to create peace and contentment.

In the New Year, let's resolve
 to pay less attention to depressing stories
 on TV, in magazines and newspapers,
 and to stop focusing on what we want
 that we haven't got,
 instead of appreciating
 the many blessings we do have.

In the New Year, let's look for the good.
 We may have to search
 through a mass of negative media,
 but the good is there,
 all around us.

I wish for you a New Year filled with good,
 engulfed in serenity and happiness!

By Joanna Fuchs

New Years poetry often contains new year wishes, like this Happy New Year poem.

Here's a New Years poem for sending to people who are important to you.

New Years Blast

Another year is gone; it's finally past.
It sometimes seemed a grind, sometimes a blast.
Looking forward to a brand new year,
My source of joy and fun is very clear.

In all the happy times I can recall
People create pleasure most of all.
As I ponder the new year, each hour and minute,
I'm very glad my life still has you in it.

My appreciation for you is sincere,
So I wish for you a happy, bright new year.

By Joanna Fuchs

New Years messages should be motivating. This New Year’s poem in free verse sees the new year as an empty vessel waiting to be filled with good things.

Another Chance

A bright, shiny new year,
empty, neat, pristine,
waiting, ready
for us to get it right.
Another chance
to love and forgive.
Another chance
to make a real effort
to give more than we get.
Another chance
to make a difference.
A good new year.
A Happy New Year!

By Joanna Fuchs

Among my fondest new years wishes would be this new year wish to start completely fresh, moving only forward. Don't look back; you're not going that way.

Let Go 

Let go!
Let go of 365 days now past
never to be relived
except in our minds.
Some good times, some bad,
some boring...let go!

Let’s empty our brains
of the worn antique
that was the old year,
diving fearlessly
into the new year,
clean, fresh,
full of endless possibilities.

Let go, to make room for it all.
Happy New Year!

 By Joanna Fuchs

Time Flies

Another New Year.
Another 365 days flown by,
joy, laughter, struggle, tears.
It’s all good because
living all that time made us
who we are today:
Older, smarter,
more capable of handling the New Year.

All those experiences are assets
we hold in reserve,
so we know what to do,
whatever comes.
Experience is priceless.
Fly, time. Fly!

By Joanna Fuchs

New Years Resolution Poems

New Years poems are often New Years resolution poems, like the following funny New Year poem. It could also be a New Year card message. 

New Year’s Reality Check

Another year, another chance
 To start our lives anew;
 This time we’ll leap old barriers
 To have a real breakthrough.

We’ll take one little step
 And then we’ll take one more,
 Our unlimited potential
 We’ll totally explore.

We’ll show off all our talents
 Everyone will be inspired;
 (Whew! While I’m writing this,
 I’m getting very tired.)

We’ll give up all bad habits;
 We’ll read and learn a lot,
 All our goals will be accomplished,
 Sigh...or maybe not.

Oh well, Happy New Year anyway!

By Joanna Fuchs

Funny New Years poems can talk about the futility of setting goals for the new year. This New Year resolution poem doesn't take itself seriously. 

New Year’s Resolutions

Each year I resolve with the strongest intent
 To be better this year than the last.
 And I work very hard; the rules hardly get bent,
 But this discipline gets old so fast!

But with this new year I just know I’ll win out,
 Just watch how I do and you’ll see!
 I’m not going to have yet another blowout;
 I’ll be good as I know I can be.

But, if wicked things beckon, and I’m not so strong,
 If I weaken and fall on my ast,
 I’ll be thankful again that you’ll help me along
 As you have during all new years past.

I’m so grateful that you’re my (title)! Happy New Year!

By Karl and Joanna Fuchs

New Years poems can be about a variety of subjects. The following two New Year poems are related to New Year's Eve parties. You can break up New Years poems, if you like, and just use the parts that work for you. Choose the stanzas from this New Years poem that relate to your New Year’s Eve party and leave the others out. 

New Year’s Eve Party Invitation

The New Year’s rolling in;
 We’re planning quite a bash.
 We need to have you here.
 So it will be a smash!

We really want to see you;
 We hope that you can make it.
 So help us make our party fun,
 Or we might have to fake it!

Just bring your awesome self (or "selves")
 And what you want to drink.
 And we’ll provide the other stuff,
 Including the kitchen sink!

When you let us know you’ll come,
 We’ll smile and shout "Whoopee!"
 So sit right down and phone us
 With your kind R.S.V.P!

By Joanna Fuchs

Funny New Years poems can be about a variety of subjects, but New Year's Eve parties are often the subject of New Year poems. This New Years Eve poem describes a fantasy New Years Eve party. 

The New Year’s Eve Party

The new year is coming; the party is near.
 I’m sure looking forward to lots of good cheer.
 I’ll be all dressed up in my snazziest best,
 So I won’t disappear in the crowd like the rest.

I rap on the door and it opens to screams;
 There are several guys hanging from high ceiling beams.
 The guy in the lampshade looks ready to go,
 As the girl on his shoulders shouts, "Giddyup Joe!"

I walk right on in to be one of the throng,
 And they yell out my name while they bang a brass gong.
 We laugh and we frolic, we dance and we sing,
 (Is that my grandmother out there on the swing?)

This party is great, and the New Year looks bright.
 Well, that’s how I dreamed it, while sleeping last night.
 I’m thinking about you and wish you were here,
 So I’m sending this poem to say Happy New Year!

By Karl and Joanna Fuchs

New Year Love Poem

New Years poems include New Year love poems. Those are in short supply, and there are a lot of searches for them, so I wrote this free verse New Years love poem to meet that demand. 

A New Year With You

I'm so grateful for a new year
 to spend with you,
 my most special one,
 my cherished and treasured love,
 who has gifted me with happiness and joy,
 adventure and excitement,
 comfort and peace.
 As I look ahead, I see each day with you
 filled with warmth and affection,
 a deeper, more fulfilling love,
 than I could have imagined
 in my fondest, most perfect dreams.
 A new year with you
 is the most valuable, most precious treasure
 I could ever have.

Happy New Year Sweetheart!

By Joanna Fuchs

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New Year Song

New Year's poems can be set to music! In my opinion, New Year’s songs should be upbeat, positive and happy, like this Happy New Year wish song. New Years songs should be sung to familiar melodies. The well-known melody of part of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, commonly known as "Ode To Joy," is used for this New Year's song. If you are not familiar with this melody, or if you need harmony parts and accompaniment, the melody has also been used for a popular hymn, called "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee." You can find it in most Protestant hymn books. The melody for this New Years song is the in the public domain, and in my hymn book, there is no copyright notice on the harmony parts and accompaniment, although it is always your responsibility to check that out. 

Happy New Year Song

Happy New Year, Happy New Year,
 Family, friends and colleagues, too.
 May this new year be your best yet,
 Happiness the whole year through.

Let’s all join to lift our glasses
 In a toast to everyone.
 To the old year now behind us,
 To the new year, just begun.

(Repeat first verse)

By Joanna Fuchs

New Years Toasts

These next three New Years poems in free verse are designed for New Year's toasts. Choose the lines you like from each New Year poem to make your special New Year toast. 

This New Years poem, a New Year toast, sees the coming twelve months as a gift, and it's a wonderful New Year message that will strengthen and uplift those who hear it. 

The Gift of a New Year

Here’s to the year
 that’s almost past its expiration date—(say old year, such as "2019").
 We all had some surprises, didn’t we?
 Some good, some distressing.
 Let’s use everything we got from our experiences,
 everything we learned,
 to enrich the new year.

Here’s to the new year, (say new year, such as "2020),
 a gift we haven’t opened yet.
 May its bright, shiny package
 contain even more than we hope for.

And even while we’re delighting in new treasures,
 let’s appreciate fully what we already have—
the blessings we take for granted.
 Make a list, and check it twice.

And here’s to all you wonderful people
 (wave glass around to encompass the whole group
 who are putting up with my toast;
 I hope in the new year
 you see yourselves the way I see you:
 intelligent, interesting, and likable.

(Raise glass) To (say new year, such as "2020"):
 May it give a whole new meaning
 to the phrase, "the good life."

By Joanna Fuchs

New Years poems should focus on the positive, as this New Years toast does. An upbeat New Years poem like this one is always welcome. Implementing this New Year sentiment would improve anyone's new year. 

Fulfillment in the New Year

Here’s to the outgoing year, (say old year, such as "2019"):
 May the good times live on in our memories,
 and may we learn lessons from the troubling times
 that will make us stronger and better than ever.

Here’s to (say new year, such as "2020"):
 For each and every one of you,
 may it be filled with significant steps
 toward the fulfillment of your fondest wishes.

In this coming new year,
 let us focus on our goals and work toward our dreams,
 and yet (smile)
 let’s all try to go with the flow a little more
 and stress a little less.

And most important,
 (wave glass around to encompass the whole group)
 here’s to all of you.
 Appreciate yourselves and each other in the new year
 as I appreciate all of you now.
 Let’s focus on each other’s good points
 and choose to overlook minor annoyances
 to create mutual happiness and contentment in (say new year, such as "2020").

Here’s to 2020 (or whatever year the new year is) (raise glass): Enjoy the journey!

By Joanna Fuchs

New Year toasts can be in the form of New Years poetry. They can rhyme or they can be in free verse, like this New Years poem, which is an all-purpose New Years Toast for your New Years Eve party. 

New Year’s Toast

Here’s to the new year...
 May it bring more joy and success
 And less grief and regret.

To our dreams...
 May we never stop believing in them
 And taking the actions that will make them a reality.

To our friends, loved ones, associates (or colleagues)...
 May we take the time to let them know
 How much it means to us
 To have them in our lives.

Let us encourage more and criticize less,
 Give more and need less.
 And whenever we can,
 Let us create harmony and peace.

To new beginnings...
 Let us start fresh, right now,
 To make this the very best year ever.

A very Happy New Year to all of us!

By Joanna Fuchs

Christian New Years Poem

For the many people who are typing into their search box Christian New Years poems or religious New Years poems, here is a New Year poem that may fill those requests. 

Christian New Year’s Resolutions

How can I use the New Year
 To better serve my Lord?
 I’ll read my Bible every day,
 And be more in accord.

I’ll find new ways to serve others;
 I’ll love my neighbor, too.
 I’ll focus on "give" instead of "get"
 In everything I do.

I’ll forgive the people I’m mad at;
 Angry feelings I’ll discard;
 I’ll try to love my enemies,
 Even though it’s hard.

In the new year, I’ll lift people up,
 Instead of putting them down.
 I’ll fill my heart with love and joy,
 And never wear a frown.

I’ll let go of my worries;
 I’ll put it all in His hands;
 I’ll repent and try to sin less,
 And obey all His commands.

These new year’s resolutions
 Are difficult, at best,
 But there’s something I can do each day
 That will put my soul at rest:

I’ll love my Lord with all my heart,
 With all my mind and soul,
 And if I do that essential thing,
 All the rest will be in control.

By Joanna Fuchs

Curious about the Christian religion? What is Christianity?
What is a Christian? What is Christian faith?
To see the answers and find out how to become a Christian,
check out this Web site.*

New Year Prayer

New Years poems can be religious. New Year prayer is one of the top New Year poems search terms, so this New Year's poem in free verse is a New Years prayer. 

New Years Prayer

Dear Lord,
 In the new year, we pray
 that You will guide us each new day
 in paths that are pleasing to You.
 Lord, the new year gives us another chance
 to rededicate our lives to You,
 to study Your Word
 so that we know right from wrong
 and to act in accordance with Your commands.
 Thank You for the sense of
 direction, purpose and peace we get
 from aligning our lives with Your Holy will.
 We pray for the strength and the will to obey You
 each and every day of the new year,
 and when we fail, we pray for Your mercy,
 Your compassion, Your grace and Your love.
 Help us in the new year to be Your faithful servants.
 In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

By Joanna Fuchs

More Poetry

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End-of-Year Holiday Poems:

Christmas Poems

Holiday Poems

New Years Poems

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Thanks for reading our New Year poetry! These New Year poems are free for use on personal greeting cards, provided that the author's name (Joanna Fuchs or Karl Fuchs) and our Web site address,, appear beneath the poem. (It can be small print; just so it's readable.) All other uses require permission. See our Terms of Use for details. 

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21 Happy New Year Messages and Wishes

funny new year wishes


Happy, Funny New Year Greetings, Wishes and Messages

With the New Year being (eternally) just around the corner you may be looking for New Year greetings, wishes or messages. 

Well, at we live to serve (and have fun), so allow us to serve you ... a big collection of loving, funny greetings, New Year wishes and New Year messages - starting right here and now: 

For you, your family and all your friends - a toast
may the new year bring you all what you want the most

~ ~

May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them.
~ Anonymous ~

Live long and prosper!
~ (from: 'Star Trek')

This year, may you realize the truth that you are already whole.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~, the Personal Development Guy

May you let go of a core belief this year and see the beauty and splendor of reality.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~, the Personal Development Guy

May this year be the one where you relax your beliefs enough to realize who you are.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~, the Personal Development Guy

May your hopes of fame and glory be dashed this year so you may know true empowerment.
~ ~

May each day of next year be vibrant and new.
And bring you much joy and worries few.

Have no fear,
Lend an ear,
Shed a tear,
Have a beer,
Oh my dear,
Happy new year!

~ New Year Messages & Wishes by ~

May the wisdom of your higher self bless you in all walks of your life as from this day forward. And may you have the courage of your convictions to walk in the way of the Wisdom within you.
~ Deborah Anderson ~

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

~ New Year Messages by William Arthur Ward ~

May you have the grace and wisdom to act kindly, learning to distinguish between what is personal and what is not. May you have good friends to mirror your blind spots.
~ New Year Messages by John O’Donahue ~

May the joy and peace of Christmas be with you now and throughout the new year.
~ New Year Wishes & Greetings ~

May you choose to be who you really are this year.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~, the Personal Development Guy

May you choose this year to empower yourself as much as you can.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~, the Personal Development Guy

Wishing you a year of courageousness of the heart, silence of the mind and presence in the now.
~ ~

May you abandon fear, addictions and all other kinds of suppression and slavery the coming year.
~ ~

In a world of black sheep, may you choose to be the white wolf.
~ Spiritual and provocative New Year Greetings ~

May this be the year where you quit listening to your mind and start sensing the small still voice within.
~ Spiritual New Year Wishes and Greetings by ~

May you realize your Higher Self, know silence of mind and enjoy Christ Consciousness.

Here's to the bright New Year, and a fond farewell to the old;
here's to the things that are yet to come, and to the memories that we hold.

New Year and all those New Year greetings are all well and good ... First, though, you have to get past the jolly round-bellied well-wisher that is Christmas.

You need to say goodbye to those you spent your Christmas with, finish sleeping off your Christmas hangover and/or come down from your sugar high from devouring 80 pounds of Christmas chocolate etc. Then you need to get over the sight of your belly in the mirror and just accept that is has grown to Santa-like proportions - just like last Christmas.

May your Christmas be like Santa Claus - fat, jolly and generous.
~ Funny Christmas Sayings ~

Nobody wants to admit it, but ...

In a sizable chunk of the blueberry muffin that is the world ... fat is the new normal.
~ ~

So don't worry. All you have to do is observe one simple rule with regard to your eating habits:

Don't be so worried about what you eat between Christmas and New Year's, but worry more about what you eat between New Year's and Christmas.
~ Funny Christmas Sayings ~

Only when the orgy that is Christmas THEN will you remember that New Year is almost upon you and it is time to evaluate your life. Because that's what people do the week after Christmas.

Looking back on the months gone by
As a new year starts and an old one ends
We contemplate what brought us joy
And we think of our loved ones & our friends.

~ New Year Sayings ~

New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.
~ New Year Messages by Hamilton Wright Mabie ~

Yes, the time around Christmas and New Year's Eve people look into the mirror, and they look into their souls. Or, at least they look back at the year that has almost gone and forward towards the year that is approaching.

And they start throwing New Years greetings left and right.

The Most Famous New Year Greetings of Today

A Merry Christmas to everybody! A Happy New Year to the world.
~ Charles Dickens ~ (from: 'A Christmas Carol', 1843)

The above quote is one of the most famous New Years greetings of the modern world. Given how often we repeat it - or something like it - it is a marvel it was only published as late as 1843 (on the 17th of December to be exact). The story of the miserly and sour Ebenezer Scrooge's transformation has touched millions of people all over the world - and continues to do so to this day.

As chance would have it 1843 was also the year when Sir Henry Cole (the founder of the Victoria and Albert Museum in London) had so many Christmas greetings to send that he gave up on handwriting them. His solution was to get an artist by the name of John Calcott Horsley to paint a card showing the feeding and clothing of the poor and - in front and center of it - add the Christmas saying ...

A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to You
~ Christmas Saying on the World's First Printed Christmas Card, 1843 ~

... and have it printed. Thus, Sir Henry's Christmas card became the very first mass produced Christmas card, ever. As you are no doubt aware, that particular kind of item has since exploded in popularity and people both buy mass produced Christmas Cards and look for free printable Christmas cards on the Internet as well.

Beating Christmas and New Year to the Punch

So, Christmas is supposed to be 'merry' and New Year is supposed to be 'happy'.

'Merry' is just another word for happy, but how happy is our Christmas? Over-commercialized, over-stressed and financially out-of-control is how many people's Christmas really is. Hence this definition of Christmas:

Christmas: Several weeks of Hell for Christ's sake!
~ Funny Christmas Quotes & Sayings ~

But, once those several weeks are over, be they merry or not-so-much-so, then comes the new year - the one we tell other people that we wish will be 'happy' for them.

Sending you wishes for a happy year filled with health, prosperity, love and loads of fun!
~ New Year Messages & Greetings ~

Another fresh new year is here ...
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest ...
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!
~ William Arthur Ward ~

May your year be full of solutions for the many problems you will face.
~ New Year Wishes & Greetings ~

Yes, New Years greetings are usually cheerful, festive sayings that you pass from one person to the next, orally or in writing. But think about the typical New Year wishes. What do they really mean? The New Years wishes and greetings go further than just the words that we say to everyone that we see on the street.

What does it mean when you wish someone "Happy New Year"?

Does it mean, "I'm only saying these New Years greetings because it is the social convention"?

Does it mean, "Have a happy new year, at least until you anger me enough that I wish you were dead - or at least seriously injured - or at least that you have in bad itch in a spot where your arms can't reach!"?

Or does it really mean, "I hope you have a great year"?

If so, why do we start out the first few days of our year wishing everyone the most wonderful year yet ... but spend the rest of the year yelling at them for cutting us off in traffic? Or doing the cutting off ourselves so they can curse us for it?

Your Merry Christmas may depend on what others do for you. But your Happy New Year depends on what you do for others.
~ Funny Christmas Quotes & Happy New Year Sayings ~

May you have ...

Enough happiness
to keep you sweet,

Enough trials
to keep you strong,
Enough sorrow
to keep you human,

Enough hope
to keep you happy;
Enough failure
to keep you humble,

Enough success
to keep you eager,
Enough friends
to give you comfort,

Enough wealth
to meet your needs;
Enough enthusiasm
to look forward,

Enough faith
to banish depression,
Enough determination
to make each day better than yesterday.

May the new year see you being of service to yourself, others and life itself.
~ Wise New Year Sayings & Wishes by ~

Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.
~ New Year Messages by Sydney Smith ~

Such new years quotes can make you think, right? Well, as one of the most famous of modern American women says:

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
~ New Year Messages by Oprah Winfrey ~

The funny thing is that each year we continue to get it more or less wrong, right?

That is ... if indeed there is such a thing as 'wrong'.

Perhaps the only thing wrong with all the things we judge as 'wrong' is the judgment itself.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~, the Personal Development Guy

Funny Greetings

Then, of course, the introspection we make around New Year may reveal to us that we have in fact not been as nice to other people as we thought we had:

There have been many time in the past year when I may disturbed you, irritated you, troubled you, bugged you and annoyed you. Today as a new year is approaching I just want to tell you this: All through the new year I plan to continue doing it!

May you be hospitable to love, kindness, joy and criticism!

May you learn that careening down a hill in a shopping cart, swimming with great white sharks and playing with poisonous snakes are not the safest pastimes, and that you will probably not be one of the 7 people in the world who get paid to do those things.
~ Funny New Year Wishes & Greetings ~

Funny how every New Year we make a resolution to lose weight, but we end up with our faces in the cookie jar weeks later. What's really funny about that, though, is that so many people are so very preoccupied with the way they look on the outside ...

May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise!

... when in fact beauty comes from the inside.

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.
~ Kahlil Gibran ~

Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.
~ Sophia Loren ~ Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.
~ 'Miss Piggy' ~ (from: 'The Muppet Show')

And, another funny thing ... Ever notice how, when you're young, you look forward to staying up and counting down until midnight? The crazy thing is that most people tend to be the opposite when they get older.

Youth counts down until midnight to celebrate the arrival of a new year. Maturity counts down until midnight to celebrate the time that they can finally get to bed.
~ New Year Quotes Andrew Peloquin ~

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
~ New Years Quotes by Bill Vaughn ~

Another funny New Year's quote states:

The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.
~ New Years Quotes W.H. Auden ~

The funny New Years greetings and quotes above are great reminders of one way we would surely benefit from facing the New Year: with a sense of humor!

In the New Year here are going to be challenges to face, obstacles to overcome, and things to deal with that you could never have imagined before. If you don't face the New Year with a smile on your lips, a song in your heart, and a bottle of your favorite hooch in your hand, you may end up stressed out and, as the psychologists say, going completely nuts.

New Year's Choices

It's funny how every New Year's Eve, we stay up to greet the new year as if it were an emperor: highly respected, yet undefined. We know nothing of him, but that he could give us all we need, all we hope, all we dare to dream. And then eventually we realize he's just like all the others. Nothing special at all. Ordinarily stupid. Like the emperor with new clothes. We've been blinded.
~ New Year Quotes by Victoria Jean Ella ~

Yes, it's funny, in a way, how every New Year starts with large dreams and goals, and after a while we barely slog through the year and get out the other side alive.

It doesn't sound quite right, does it? It sounds like there's something, somewhere we're overlooking.

And so there is. It's called choice.

Or, to use a different couple of words for the same thing: Free will.

YES, the New Year is going to be pretty much like the old one - unless YOU change that. YES, this means you must ignore or let go of your fear, take a chance and do something new. And YES, it's scary; but YES you can do it, because it's YOUR life where YOU get to choose that you want to LIVE! Or not.
~ New Year Quotes by Soren Lauritzen ~, the Personal Development Guy

The New Year is going to be filled with hundreds of challenges that could totally knock each of us flat, which is why we need to greet it with a smile and a laugh.

The healthiest response to life is joy.
~ Deepak Chopra ~

Laughing in the face of problems may seem like insanity to you, but it is the best way to be certain that you don't break down weeping due to the pressure and strain placed upon you (i.e. that you allow yourself to be burdened with). No one can tell you with certainty that the New Year will be easy, but you can bet your boots it is going to be a heck of a lot of fun - provided that is how you choose to see it, of course.

Life is a ticket to the greatest show on earth.
~ Martin H. Fischer ~

The challenges that you face in the New Year should thrill you and inspire you to try out new solutions and do new things. If you so desire, all of the new things that you are going to face in the year ahead are going to push you to new heights of accomplishment and achievement, and with that in mind why not greet them cheerfully?

Because you might fail, you say?

That is an option, of course. Maybe even a likelihood! But in the immortal words of Robert Allen, Samuel Beckett, Henry Ford, Mary Pickford and Charles F. Kettering:

There is no failure. Only feedback.
~ Robert Allen ~

Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
~ Samuel Beckett ~

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
~ Henry Ford ~

Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down.
~ Mary Pickford ~

One fails forward toward success.
~ Charles F. Kettering ~

Here's how you might also put all of the above - in one short sentence that forces you to think a bit:

The only time you don't fail is the last time you try anything - and it works.
~ William Strong ~

The feeling of failure is one that is hard to bear, and you may feel like your world is collapsing around you when all of your dreams come crumbling down. However, the mental, emotional and physical muscles that you develop while overcoming challenges will be able to handle more failures and difficulties than you fear. Each year you grow stronger and wiser, and thus you are able to deal with problems more effectively.

The New Year is full of surprises for you, so why not treat it like the amazing new thing that it really is? Why not approach the New Year with the wide-eyed anticipation of a child opening his birthday presents? If you are willing to fail and learn and grow you will find that it contains all of the good things you anticipate from a present.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.
~ Spiritual New Year Sayings ~

Final Words: Someone Suggested a New Kind of New Year Greeting to Us ...

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
~ Ogden Nash ~

Very recently someone we know and consider a friend wrote something interesting to us at

As the very last thing on this page of New Year greetings, we bring you the text as is:

- - - * - - -

"New Years greetings are usually based around one word: Happy. However, that is really the wrong word to base our greetings around, and there is another word that should be on our lips when we send out our verbal greetings for New Year: Content.

If everyone was to find contentment in this year, they would really have a happy new year.

Is there a difference between happiness and contentment? Absolutely.

Happiness is something that changes from one moment to the next. You can be thrilled because you are getting to go home at the end of a long day, be furious because someone cut you off, be annoyed because of all the traffic, feel romantic because your favorite love song comes on the radio, and be sad because you miss your family. All this can happen in the space of a few heartbeats, and the emotion we call 'happy' is something that comes and goes.

Contentment is not something you can think about, but it is something you feel. You feel contentment sitting in your gut like a good meal, and life simply seems good. With contentment, happiness can come and go, but your outlook will never change.

Let us all avoid the traditional New Years greetings of 'Happy New Year', but rather let us wish each other "Contented New Year". While it doesn't have quite the ring that Happy greetings does, you will find that meaning behind it will communicate the true feeling of what you want to say." ~ New Year's Message from a Friend to ~

- - - * - - -

So, what do you think of that, then? Maybe we should all switch from New Year Greetings such as 'Happy New Year!' and over to ...

Have a thoroughly adequate day and a contented New Year!

External links to a few really cool websites that have pages relevant to this page:

We have collected a few easy-to-use links on the various subjects and a few of the people mentioned on this page:

- New Year irreverently described by 'the voice of the people', New Year.

- Christmas, soberly described at New World Encyclopedia: Christmas.

- The content-free encyclopedia, Uncyclopedia (enter at own risk) describes Failure.

- Probably deep thoughts, but also a bit unintentionally funny description of: Failure Neurosis.

- The voice of the people ( defines: Failure.

- describes Indian medical doctor, writer and public speaker Deepak Chopra.

- The philosophical concept of will as defined on the 1911 Classic Encyclopedia Britannica, it may be oldies but goodies, but it's not an easy read: will.

- describes the different types of greeting cards, including Christmas Cards, and New Year Cards) in an article called: What are the Different Types of Greeting Cards?

- describes spiritual poet and philosopher Kahlil Gibran.

- The 'usual unusual' weirdly described stuff at, this time describing: Happiness.



Discover ideas about New Year Wishes Messages Funny New Year Resolution 2019 New Years Resolution Funny, Funny New Year, Happy New.

73 Rockin’ New Year Quotes

funny new year wishes

Check out these New Year Quotes to welcome in the next 365 days. You’ll find short, funny and famous quotations to getting you thinking about the year ahead.

Happy New Year Quotes

  • New Year’s most glorious light is sweet hope.
    Mehmet Murat ildan

  • So tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1999…

  • First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
    F. Scott Fitzgerald

  • This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.
    Taylor Swift

  • The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.
    Melody Beattle

  • Celebrate endings – for they precede new beginnings.
    Jonathan Lockwood Huie

  • And now we welcome the New Year, full of things that have never been.
    Rainer Maria Rilke

  • I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the years’.
    Henry Moore

  • If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.
    Cyril Cusack

  • The beginning is the most important part of any work.

  • Ring out the false, ring in the true.
    Alfred Lord Tennyson

  • Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
    Hal Borland

Funny New Years Quotes

  1. Youth is when you are allowed to stay up late on New Years Eve. Middle age is when you are forced to.
    Bill Vaughan

  2. With the Chinese New Year there are dragons, parades, firecrackers – With New Years in America there are big parties, the ball drops in Times Square, you get drunk, tell someone you love them, and throw up on their shoes. With the Jewish New Year, we fast, we can’t turn on the lights, we confess our sins. Happy New Year. What a party. A bunch of guilty hungry people sitting in the dark.
    Billy Crystal

  3. New Year’s Day — now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
    Mark Twain

  4. Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.

  5. I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.


More Comedy

  • Tonight’s December thirty-first — Something is about to burst. — The clock is crouching, dark and small, — Like a time bomb in the hall. — Hark, it’s midnight, children dear. — Duck! Here comes another year!
    Ogden Nash

  • I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.
    Robert Paul

  • New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.

New Years Quotes Funny

  • Every New Year’s I have the same question: “How did I get home?”
    Melanie White

  • My New Year’s Resolution List usually starts with the desire to lose between ten and three thousand pounds.
    Nia Vardalos

  • “Out with the old, in with the new” is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting.
    Andy Borowitz

  • A new year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

  • Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
    Oprah Winfrey

  • Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?
    Ogden Nash

New Years Quotes

  • Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress.
    Charles Kettering

  • Life goes by so very fast, my dears, and taking the time to reflect, even once a year, slows things down. We zoom past so many seconds, minutes, hours, killing them with the frantic way we live that it’s important we take at least this one collective sigh and stop, take stock, and acknowledge our place in time before diving back into the melee. Midnight on New Year’s Eve is a unique kind of magic where, just for a moment, the past and the future exist at once in the present. Whether we’re aware of it or not, as we countdown together to it, we’re sharing the burden of our history and committing to the promise of tomorrow.
    Hillary DePiano

  • The attraction of New Year is this: the year changes and in that change we believe that we can change with it. It is far more difficult however to change yourself than turn the calendar to a new page. We are creatures of faith, like it or not.
    R. Joseph Hoffmann

  • A lot can happen in a year.

  • We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives…not looking for flaws, but for potential.
    Ellen Goodman

Last day of the year

  1. No one knows the future, yet we can’t stop guessing while expecting of only the good, and not the bad or even both.
    Auliq Ice

  2. Each year’s regrets are envelopes in which messages of hope are found for the New Year.
    John R. Dallas Jr.

  3. A year of ending and beginning, a year of loss and finding…and all of you were with me through the storm. I drink your health, your wealth, your fortune for long years to come, and I hope for many more days in which we can gather like this.
    C.J. Cherryh

Quotations for the year ahead

  • Any new beginning is forged from the shards of the past, not from the abandonment of the past.
    Craig D. Lounsbrough

  • And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
    Harry Burns, “When Harry Met Sally”

  • Honor to the earth, the abbot said, honor to the dead in the passing of the year; honor to the living, in the coming of the new. A Great Year passes tonight. A new one begins. Let the good that is old continue and let the rest perish….
    C.J. Cherryh

  • As the old year retires and a new one is born, we commit into the hands of our Creator the happenings of the past year and ask for direction and guidance in the new one. May He grant us His grace, His tranquility and His wisdom!
    Peggy Toney Horton

January 1

  • The great miraculous bell of translucent ice is suspended in mid-air. It rings to announce endings and beginnings. And it rings because there is fresh promise and wonder in the skies.
    Vera Nazarian

  • We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called “Opportunity” and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.
    Edith Lovejoy Pierce

New Year Quote

  • For a new year to bring you something new, make a move, like a butterfly tearing its cocoon! Make a move!
    Mehmet Murat Ildan

  • Your Merry Christmas may depend on what others do for you. But your Happy New Year depends on what you do for others.

  • Make New Year’s goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you’re interested in fully living life in the year to come.
    Melody Beattie

  • Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.
    Benjamin Franklin – for more great Benjamin Franklin quotes

  • Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.
    Brad Paisley

  • Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress.
    Charles Ketterin

  • Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering ‘it will be happier’…
    Alfred Tennyson

  • Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you have always wanted to do but could not find the time. Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Vow not to make a promise you do not think you can keep. Walk tall, and smile more. You will look 10 years younger. Do not be afraid to say, I love you. Say it again. They are the sweetest words in the world.
    Ann Landers

 Quotes for the New Year

  • Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
    Mark Twain.

  • As years passed away I have formed the habit of looking back upon that former self as upon another person, the remembrance of whose emotions has been a solace in adversity and added zest to the enjoyment of prosperity.
    Simon Newcomb

  • Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
    Joey Adams

  • We meet today to thank Thee for the era done, And Thee for the opening one.
    John Greenleaf Whittier

  • We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched.  Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives… not looking for flaws, but for potential.
    Ellen Goodman

A New Leaf

  • Waste no tears over the grieves of yesterday.

  • You must leave your many millions, And the gay and festive crowd; Though you roll in royal billions, There’s no pocket in a shroud.
    John Alexander Joyce

  • Time is the school in which we learn, time is the fire in which we burn.
    Delmore Schwartz

Happy New Year Quote

  • The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!
    Edward Payson Powell

  • The merry year is born like the bright berry from the naked thorn.
    Hartley Coleridge

Rock the Night Away

  • Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.
    Jay Leno

  • Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.
    Brooks Atkinson

  • New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
    James Agate

More New Years Eve Quotes

  • I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn’t be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year’s resolution is not to bark back.
    Tucker Carlson

  • Those who gave thee a body, furnished it with weakness; but He who gave thee Soul, armed thee with resolution. Employ it, and thou art wise; be wise and thou art happy.

  • I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.  Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.  So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes – Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.  Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, do it.  Make your mistakes, next year and forever.
    Neil Gaiman

  • He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool.
    F.M. Knowles


  • Glory to God in highest heaven, Who unto man His Son hath given; While angels sing with tender mirth, A glad new year to all the earth.
    Martin Luther

  • All of us every single year, we are a different person. I do not think we are the same person all our lives.
    Steven Speilberg

  • A happy New Year! Grant that I may bring no tear to any eye When this New Year in time shall end Let it be said I’ve played the friend, Have lived and loved and labored here, And made of it a happy year.
    Edgar Guest

New Year Sayings

Looking for some inspirational New Year quotes? Here you go:

  • Of all sound of all bells… most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year.
    Charles Lamb

  • An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
    Bill Vaughn

  • Approach the New Year with resolve to find the opportunities hidden in each new day.  
    Michael Josephson

  • Stir the eggnog, lift the toddy, Happy New Year, everybody.
    Phyllis McGinley

  • Be always at War with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you, a better person.
    Benjamin Franklin

  • For a new year to bring you something new, make a move, like a butterfly tearing its cocoon! Make a move!
    Mehmet Murat ildan

Turn the Page

  • A new year brings not only happiness, it makes us happy with a hope to fulfill our dreamz or a new beginning of our life. So, a new year is very special to everyone.
    Santonu Kumar Dhar

  • Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
    Helen Keller

  • Each age has deemed the new-born year the fittest time for festal cheer.
    Sir Walter Scott

  • New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.
    Charles Lamb

A New Start

  • Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.
    Henry Ward Beecher

  • Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.
    Benjamin Franklin

  • For last year’s words belong to last year’s language. And next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.
    T.S. Eliot

  • Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it’s twice as onerous a duty.
    John Selden

  • The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.
    George William Curtis

  • May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early. My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall.
    Aleister Crowley

  • If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.
    Cyril Cusack

New Years Resolution Quotes

  • May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!
    Aleister Crowley

  • The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.
    G.K. Chesterton

  • I know. I’m lazy. But I made myself a New Years resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have ’til December, right?
    Catherine O’Hara

  • May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
    Joey Adams

  • New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
    James Agate

  • I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the years’.
    Henry Moore

  • If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.
    Cyril Cusack

You’re on New Year Quotes.

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Dec 30, 2018 Happy New Year Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Greeting & SMS 2020 Funny New Year's Quotes Wishing you a very happy new year.

funny new year wishes
Written by Kazibar
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