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Funny engagement wishes quotes

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Funny engagement wishes quotes
May 04, 2019 Wedding Anniversary Wishes 2 comments

20 wishes engagement wishes sayings. Top 75 Cute Love Quotes for Him comShare joy with engagement wishes and quotes for that important day.

The engagement period is the most blissful time of any relationship as you plan your transition into marriage and make your commitment to one another concrete. The following compilation of funny engagement quotes are sentiments carried by others and those experienced with a lifetime of marriage. These reflections will help to encourage this important planning stage of your life.

A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason – and indeed all the sweets of life.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.

Friend, I am sad that you took my advice too seriously. I asked you for getting into a relationship, not to devote all the time to that fatso and not have time for me. Have a happy engagement.

Friend, I am with you as you say goodbye to your freedom. You have all my sympathy, but don’t expect to be near you as you take your frequent calls from your fiancé. Have a glorious engagement.

Hearty congratulations on your engagement. Do send me over the ‘champagne and wine’ bottles untouched. After all, I also need to celebrate for a longer period on my friend getting engaged.

I am just sad that you fell into the trap. I am still there when you need to hide from that ‘nerd’ fiancé of yours. Have a happy engagement ahead.

I heard you are getting engaged buddy. Congratulations on your engagement. I really wish your fiancé gets all wet with champagne when you uncork the bottle for a cheer.

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.

It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.

Love is the expansion of two natures in such fashion that each include the other, each is enriched by the other.

Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.

On your engagement I am celebrating here by giving away all the empty bottles we drank together. From now on, it’s you and your fiancé after all. Have a happy engagement dear friend.

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.

Through this card, I send only wishes and nothing else. Were you expecting a gift too? Sorry the card can carry only a message and nothing else. Have a happy engagement buddy.

We find rest in those we love, and we provide a resting place in ourselves for those who love us.

What a catch you made for your life! Do call me in on your expenditure days. Have a happy engagement.

What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

You don’t need to be on the same wavelength to succeed in marriage. You just need to be able to ride each other’s waves.

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

The below infographic provides a quick guide to choosing the right engagement ring and the different types of metals and settings to choose from. The first step is to decide on your budget and seek the highest quality diamond within that range that is available to you. Locate a reputable and trustworthy jeweler, making sure to leave some financial room for your wedding and honeymoon.

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Don't forget to add fresh flowers to go with your congratulations message! What do you write on an engagement card? Here are a few.

170 Best Engagement Wishes – Beautiful Quotes to Congratulate

funny engagement wishes quotes

Make them laugh with this collection of funny engagement quotes perfect for spicing things up at an engagement party, making a toast or as funny engagement quotes for cards. Some of these quotes are silly, some are sweet, while others are a bit sarcastic. Humor is helpful on so many levels, especially for the newly engaged couple. Here you will find the most hilarious 1) general funny engagement quotes, 2) funny engagement quotes for him and 3) funny engagement quotes for her.

Funny Engagement Quotes

Here are some of the best funny engagement quotes.

  • “Spouse: someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single.” – Anonymous
  • “Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it’s because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner – just so they can have the last word.” – Janet Periat
  • “Marriages don’t work when one partner is happy and the other is miserable. Marriage is about both people being equally miserable.” – Forget Paris
  • “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller
  • “When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.” – Helen Rowland
  • “When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.” – Anonymous
  • “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” – Ogden Nash
  • “It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel—they get to know each other better.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  • “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” – Michel de Montaigne
  • “Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.” – Mickey Rooney
  • “For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.” – Catherine Zeta-Jones
  • “Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.” – Elbert Hubbard
  • “A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” – Anonymous
  • “A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late.” – The Joker is Wild
  • “The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly.” – Peter De Vries
  • “Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.” – Al Bundy
  • “Marriage is nature’s way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child.” – Robert Brault
  • Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house.” – Anonymous
  • “Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.” – Zig Ziglar
  • “The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.” – Anonymous

Funny Engagement Quotes for Him

Make your engagement celebration full of  smiling faces and chuckles with these funny engagement quotes for him! Also perfect as funny engagement quotes for cards.

  • “Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.” – W. C. Fields
  • “If you are ever with a girl that is too good for you – marry her.” – Valentine’s Day
  • If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman: she will be all ears.” – Sigmund Freud
  • “Don’t forget your wife’s name. That will mess up the love.” – Erin, age 8
  • “My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that’s what she said.” – Anonymous
  • “You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!” – Bill Maher
  • ~ A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.” – Israel Zangwill
  • “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – H.V. Prochnow

Funny Engagement Quotes for Her

She deserves only the best! The engagement ring, a party, gifts and your sense of humor. Sweep her off of her feet once again with one of these funny engagement quotes for her. The best of engagement quotes funny here you will find, to make sure that she is forever on your mind.

  • “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” – Milton Berle
  • “When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.” – Molly McGee
  • “Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.” – Jean Kerr
  • “Husbands are like wine, they take a long time to mature.” – Letters to Juliet
  • “Husbands are like fires, they go out when unattended.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • “I never mind my wife having the last word. In fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.” – Walter Matthau
  • “A husband’s last words should always be, OK buy it.” – Anonymous
  • “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” – Rodney Dangerfield
Laughter just might be the most contagious of all emotional experiences.We hope you found the perfect funny engagement wishes and funny engagement congratulations quotes. Share these funny engagement quotes wishes with your friends, family and loved ones to help celebrate this important and special occasion. Few moments in life are as precious as when two people decide to commit to each other for all of their lives. The mood can sometimes become a bit overly emotional or serious, so sometimes funny engagement quotes are exactly what is needed!
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25 Funny Engagement Quotes

funny engagement wishes quotes

Engagement and marriage are two things that could be understood as the same. However, that really is not true. Engagement is the first step in the journey of marriage. Often, we can see a lot of videos online documenting engagements and weddings. How sweet are they? Well, we can say, they’re too sweet. From finding the perfect engagement ring to the wedding afterparty, there is a lot to look forward to when planning and preparing that perfect day.

One of the most important things during this beautiful day the humor and laughter that comes along with marriage and engagement. The funny quotes and speeches, embarrassing quotes from best friends and family, crazy pictures from the old days when you just met and hilarious father daughter dances during the after party. We wanted to give you some funny inspiration for your speeches, invitation or just for fun. This is why we gathered the best and most funny wedding quotes from the internet. Aside from wedding pictures and videos, the sweetness, and funny side of weddings and engagements can be captured through awesomely funny wedding quotes.  We have come up with the top 25 most funny engagement and wedding quotes to guide you in picking the most usable and efficient wedding quotes to fit your purpose.

Funny Engagement and Wedding Quotes

1. Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops.



Well, I’m not sure who would rally against this but why bother, women should really do the shopping – no buts, no ifs.

2. When I said I do, I didn’t mean laundry.

We can say that this is a warning or a heads-up to what’s waiting for women, could be men, after the wedding.

3.  They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.



This could mean double – either good or bad, up to you to interpret it.

4. Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

So make sure to find someone who’s willing to be annoyed by you and who can annoy you too, it’s a win-win.

5. I promise to take care of you when you are old but the first time you hit me with your crane, I’ll wash your dentures in toilet water.

Love could be twisted sometimes so you be careful – always – you never know when this becomes a knot.

6. If my husband doesn’t start crying when he sees me walking down the aisle, I’m turning around and doing it again.

Women, especially brides, have that preconceived notion that they should and must be the prettiest on their wedding day – that’s a given. However, they also assume that their groom should be so emotional at this day to tear up specifically at the time where they will walk up the aisle. That could be too much, but why not – men will really get teary, either because they’re so happy or that they’re gonna get tied. Beers up!

7. In my house, I’m the boss and my wife is just the decision maker.



There’s a famous saying that goes ‘Behind a man’s success is a woman’. Need we say more?

8. I thought I was stupid until I got married. My stupidity was confirmed. 

It’s better to realize some things at the earliest time possible, isn’t it?

9. Marriage is like a public toilet, those waiting outside are desperate to get in and those inside are desperate to come out.

This could be one of those wedding quotes you don’t know whether it’s a warning or just a cynical comment – but any will do.

10. Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. 

Even the genius had something to say about marriage – he’s quite thoughtful, is he not?

11. Drink ’till she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

Wait till you’re sober.

12. The secret of a happy marriage remains… a secret.

That’s why no one says that to weddings.

13. No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is not saying. 

Keep this in your notes… and mental reminder in your head.

14. What’s your Wedding Quote;) The international symbol for marriage.

No matter how we see it, grooms-to-be should really have this engraved onto their wallets – just a reminder.

15. Marriage. Better start drinking now, it only gets worse from here. 

After the wedding isn’t really that bad – you’ll just feel like it’s a hangover… that never gets off easily.

16. Do you promise to wipe up pee from the toilet seat for all the days of your life?

It’s up to you to say I do or No do.

17. Advice for almost married men: Never laugh at your wife’s choices, you are one of them.

Before you laugh, look at yourself. Then if you feel its right, go ahead and laugh out loud.

18. Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband.

Aside from the customer, the wife is always right.

19. 101 Positions, 102 Excuses.

What’s in a man’s head is… you know. Always.

20. The smallest handcuffs in the world – marriage rings.

Don’t get it so wrong. You’re the one who surrendered, weren’t you? So just take the punishment, willingly. That’s what you get when you ask for a opal engagement ring;)

21. Wedding. A funeral where you smell your own flowers.

Sometimes, you just have to get past the humor of this one for it makes sense. It signals the end of your bachelor or bachelorette days.

22. Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore.

23. All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. 

Home is where the trouble is, sometimes.

24. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and spade.

A deck has 52 cards. Unlimited spades and clubs.

25. Game over.

It’s really not game over. This is just the end of the funniest engagement and wedding quotes.

Funny Wedding Quotes

Whether you’re a soon-to-be bride or groom, let these engagement and wedding quotes serve as reminders to you on your quest to marriage. They may be funny and hilarious, even cynical, but these are literals that came from human experiences. They have not hardened facts but merely wedding quotes… remember though, that being mere wedding quotes, that they are not of value. Since they are made from real human interactions, perhaps they hold bearing to help you realize what is in it for you.

We’re not creeping you out, we are just stating that there are consequences to choices that you have to face – with a happy smile on your cheeks – like marriage which happens after engagement and wedding. The funny wedding quotes are actually sweet in essence, that it guides you to your path of engagements and weddings.

Just in case you’re not the one getting married and you just wish to send a greeting to a friend nearing the day of her ‘I do’, feel free to stick a note from these hilarious wedding quotes. If you still want more, you can check through more romantic quotes and love quotes here in good morning quotes.

The most common practices are to wish them a marriage of togetherness, love, happiness, good health, Engagement Quotes · Funny Engagement Wishes.

25 Funny Engagement and Wedding Quotes

funny engagement wishes quotes

Engagement Wishes and Congratulations

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Last updated: October 3rd 2017. Find the perfect way to say ‘congratulations on your engagement‘ with this huge collection of engagement wishes, funny engagement quotes and images. If someone you know is getting engaged and you want to send them an engagement card, text message or email (or say it in person), you may be unsure how to choose the right words, what to write in an engagement card or engagement card etiquette. No worries, because we’ve got you covered. Whether you are looking for engagement wishes for a friend or a family member you will find them all right here. The engagement of a couple is one of the greatest causes for celebration because it is the start of one of the most amazing journeys that life can give us. Congratulating the newly engaged couple, whether through engagement card messages or in person, is a time-honored tradition. Here you can choose just the right engagement congratulations messages from the following categories: 1) engagement messages , 2) funny engagement quotes and 3) engagement wishes images. May your engagement wishes contribute to a long, healthy and happy life for the engaged couple.

You may also be interested in Baby Shower Wishes and Wedding Wishes.


Engagement Wishes – Congratulations on Your Engagement


The following compilation of funny engagement quotes are sentiments I really wish your fiancé gets all wet with champagne when you uncork.

funny engagement wishes quotes
Written by JoJotaur
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