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Birthday wish jokes

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Birthday wish jokes
December 31, 2018 Wedding Anniversary Wishes 4 comments

15 Funny Birthday Messages to Mail ASAP Jazzing up a birthday greeting with a joke or pun can take your card to the next level, crack a.

In this article, we’ve prepared We have prepared for you: 100 funny Birthday Wishes For For Your loved ones

Birthdays are special events for everyone, and it always brightens our day seeing someone send us a special birthday message. A simple birthday message does not cost much, but it means a lot to the celebrant. Coming up with a good birthday message might not be so easy, hence we have made a huge list of funny birthday messages to choose from for your loved ones.

See Also: 100 Happy Birthday Wishes For Friends and Family

1. Can’t tell you how cute you’ll look with all that cake on your face.

2. Its not a prank believe me that box only has a birthday cake.

3. I hope you keep smiling till you have teeth.

4. It’s true that you look like a duck but today I see a swan.

5. I hope you forgive me for eating your lunch, I couldn’t stop myself after all it was your birthday cake.

6. I promise I’ll be a good boy, until I get your birthday treat.

7. Come one show me your smile, you still look young to me.

8. You can open your eyes; you will only find birthday candles on fire.Look behind you there is your gift, I was joking just wanted to give you birthday bombs.

9. Lest sing and dance, we can bare your voice today after all its your birthday.

10. You look so like my old grandma; just kidding she has more teeth.

11. If I could fulfill any of your wish then it would be a new car for me.

12.  I heard its your birthday, then where is the treat, many happy returns of the day dumbo.

13. I love when you try, it always make me feel that I am not the only in blunder.

14. It took me an hour to write this poem for you, my Internet was out of speed.

15. No matter how hard I try you’ll always be by my side maybe coz you’re a stalker.

16.  If I could buy this world I would have for you, you know its not true many happy returns of the day!

17. There was king and a queen who were nothing close to you.

18. Lets not worry lets not cry, the troublemaker is in the spotlights tonight.

19. You know that don’t you’re my most favorite but only after candies.

20.  I love you best friend, I love when you by me candies, stickers and rides.

21. I saw you last night; you were looking for the gifts, which were never there.

22. You look so cute in that cap just like my old uncle Groot, just joking happy birthday love.

23. No one will laugh coz it’s her birthday.

24. You know you look like an angle in this dress, who has come straight form the land of telitobies, just kidding you look wonderful love happy birthday.

25. Shit another year of your jokes, may god bless those jokes.

26. Chill you still look younger than my grand mother.

27. I know it sounds funny but still its your birthday so happy birthday pal.

28. Birthdays are like wine the more you have them the more you turn crazy.

29.  Are you kidding it cant be your birthday, you look so lame , happy birthday sugar.

30. I’m sorry I ate your birthday cake, just wanted you to have a sugar free year ahead.

31. You know I love you, but I love your gifts more by the way happy birthday.

32. Smile sunshine , its your birthday, ready for the treat if not then good night. This day an angle came on earth , yes right its our dog Lucy.

33. Can you see the clock its your birthday.

34. I dint ate for 3 days; coz today is my best friends birthday.

35. You know what’s inside this birthday gift, lots of air coz my love is in the air.

36. I loved you once, ill love you twice and until you show your kitten smile.

37. I hope you get the best fish of the sea for your dinner.

38. I’ll never tell anyone, that you love dragon ball z only if you feed me with your cake.

39.  I saved you the last slice of cake, thought Bruno licked it once.

40. I wish I could full fill all your wished, specially those which would benefit me.

41.  Are you out of your mind, who picks up the phone at 12’o clock?! Many many happy returns of the day!

42. Aww you look so pretty in my poodles dress. Many many happy returns of the day!

43. I know I ate your cake but I saved you from diabetes so happy birthday love.

44. May you keep smiling till you have teeth.

45. You look so ugly in that dress, just joking. You look amazing birthday girl happy birthday.

46. I am glad you invited me, now that cake is mine.

47. Lots and lots and love because I forgot to bring you gift.

48. I am soo lucky to have a friend like you and Your parties make me luckier.

49. Look a snow man, just joking you’re an an angel.

Also Read: 100+ Birthday Wishes For Sister, Quotes and Messages

50. You may not have white teeth but you have my blessings.

51. You look really funny with that big hat but in real you are a magician.

52. I am so proud you invited me to this party.

53. Lets all clap and scream, its our little monster’s birthday.

54. You must be glad that I am your dad. I love you soo much that I will eat the entire cake.

55. I promise there is no prank inside this box, its only your cake. Happy birthday lil beasty, you are my princess.

56. I promise I will study hard, only after eating that cake.

57. I broke your vase, but it’s your birthday hurray!

58. I can’t tell you how happy I am , it’s just cause my throats is ill.

59. I saw a pretty girl here and its not you. Just jokig happy birthday love.

60. May you have another sucking year, lol happy birthday.

61.  Another year, another new place that aches.

62. I made you a birthday cake to celebrate, but I couldn’t light the candles. It turns out the fire department requires a permit for bonfires. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year!

63. Better to be over the ground than under it. Better to be over the hill than buried under it.

64. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

65. Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe! May all your dreams come true and nightmare wash away.

66. Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume I said them.

67. Last week, the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang.

Read Also: 130 Thank You For The Birthday Wishes

68. Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

69. Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty. May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.

70. May you live to be old and toothless. Men age like wine, women age like cheese.

71. My birthday gift to you is the call to the fire department when you blow out your candles. You’re welcome!

72. My friend got me a fossil. It reminded me of someone who has a birthday today. Three guesses who!

73. No wise man ever wished to be any younger than he was.

74. Old enough to know better…young enough to still do it.

75. On your birthday, here are some words of wisdom: smile while you still have teeth! Congratulations!

76. One more year of existence down the drain. People say that the good die young, so I guess that’s make you an old bad ass!

77. I never knew you will grown so tall , higher than a tower . It is magical to see how I am gonna eat all that cake at ones.

78. You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by “for your age.”

79. You have to really be something special! Today, 3,276,821 people have birthday, but I was only thinking of you!

80. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

81. You know you’re getting old when you walk up the stairs and call it exercise. You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great vision.

82. To the nation’s best kept secret; your true age.

83. Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe.

84. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest!

85. Money’s tight,Times are hard, Here’s you friggin birthday card

86. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

87. You’re a hard person to shop for, so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday.

88. Wishing you many more candles and a cake big enough to fit them all on.

89. On your birthday some words of wisdom: Smile while you still have teeth! Congratulations!

90. One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!

91. People say that the good die young, so I guess that’s make you an old bad ass!

92. Better to be over the hill than buried under it.

93. Stop counting the candles and start thinking about your wishes.

94. Men age like wine, women age like cheese.

95. My birthday gift to you is the call to the fire department when you blow out your candles. You’re welcome!

96. My friend got me a fossil. It reminded me of someone who has a birthday today. Three guesses who!

97. No wise man ever wished to be younger.

98. Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself.

99. We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.

100. Happy birthday on your very special day, I hope that you don’t die before you eat your cake.

101. Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.

102. Happy birthday, you’re not getting older you’re just a little closer to death.

103. You always have such fun birthdays; you should have one every year.

104. So many candles… so little cake.

105. Remember when 50 seemed old? If you weren’t so old you would!

106. Smile and laugh as much as you can while you still have teeth.

107. Recently I found out in which sport you would have been best at. Guess what? It’s the reason so many people came to your place.

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150 Ways to Say Happy Birthday Best Friend

birthday wish jokes

Sending birthday greetings has become a necessary tradition these days. Have you found it difficult to draft a happy birthday wish SMS and got stuck along the way? There are cases when you are at a loss for words to say, and some samples of birthday texts can come to your aid.

A genuine birthday wish will surely make anyone's day. This year, say 'Happy Birthday!' with a few words that no one will forget.

  • Count your life by smiles, not tears. Count your age by friends, not years. Happy birthday!
  • Happy birthday! I hope all your birthday wishes and dreams come true.
  • A wish for you on your birthday, whatever you ask may you receive, whatever you seek may you find, whatever you wish may it be fulfilled on your birthday and always. Happy birthday!
  • Another adventure filled year awaits you. Welcome it by celebrating your birthday with pomp and splendor. Wishing you a very happy and fun-filled birthday!
  • May the joy that you have spread in the past come back to you on this day. Wishing you a very happy birthday!
  • Happy birthday! Your life is just about to pick up speed and blast off into the stratosphere. Wear a seat belt and be sure to enjoy the journey. Happy birthday!
  • This birthday, I wish you abundant happiness and love. May all your dreams turn into reality and may lady luck visit your home today. Happy birthday to one of the sweetest people I've ever known.
  • May you be gifted with life's biggest joys and never-ending bliss. After all, you yourself are a gift to earth, so you deserve the best. Happy birthday.
  • Count not the candles the lights they give. Count not the years, but the life you live. Wishing you a wonderful time ahead. Happy birthday.
  • Forget the past; look forward to the future, for the best things are yet to come.
  • Birthdays are a new start, a fresh beginning and a time to pursue new endeavors with new goals. Move forward with confidence and courage. You are a very special person. May today and all of your days be amazing!
  • Your birthday is the first day of another 365-day journey. Be the shining thread in the beautiful tapestry of the world to make this year the best ever. Enjoy the ride.
  • Be happy! Today is the day you were brought into this world to be a blessing and inspiration to the people around you! You are a wonderful person! May you be given more birthdays to fulfill all of your dreams!
  • Best friends make life bearable. You always know that there will be someone to watch your back when you plan to get into some form of mischief. As you add one more year, I wish you all the happiness that this life can bring your way.
  • You understand everything that happens to me. Our friendship makes a lot of people envy. We have known each other since we were young. I have seen you celebrate many birthdays but this is a special one because it marks a major milestone in our friendship. I wish you love and happiness my dearest friend.
  • My girlfriend deserves the best. As you celebrate your birthday, I wish you all the best. I know you are getting a little wiser and even more caring. Have a happy one my darling friend.
  • Birthdays are a reminder of how much we have grown over the years. I know that you were born to be special which is why you continue to be the greatest friend anyone can wish for. I wish you more love and grace as you turn a year older today.
  • You are one in a million. A friend to be treasured and kept for life. As you celebrate your birthday, I thank the universe for allowing you to be born. You are a blessing to humanity.

Read more: Parsi New Year 2019: Significance, history and celebrations during Nowruz

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Happy Birthday Funny Wishes, Greetings, Quotes and Images

birthday wish jokes

Here you will find the funniest and most hilarious birthday messages. Give your friends and loved ones a memorable experience on their birthdays and put a smile on their faces on the most important day of the year. Sending a greeting to a good friend shouldn’t be a matter of routine, and it shouldn’t be boring. Good friends know what makes you laugh, and what will not strike you as funny.

The Ultimate List of Funny Birthday Messages

  • For your birthday, I wanted to get you something to remind you of your youth, but they were sold out of cave art and dinosaur bones.
  • A lighter? We’re going to need a flame-thrower to light up your candles.
  • If I have to tie you up and swing a light over your head until you talk, I will. Eventually, you’ll spill the location of that Fountain of Youth you’ve found!
  • Actually, I wanted to get you something super special, super terrific, unique and beautiful for your birthday, but I don’t fit into the envelope.
  • To my friend on his birthday: I want you to know that I’ve always looked up to you. Yes, you’re taller than me, but I’ve always admired your style and impeccable grooming. By the way, time to trim that nose hair.
  • Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
  • One of the things I learned growing up with you, is that if you have a dream, you should always chase it. I mean, you still can run in your age right? Nevertheless, happy birthday!
  • Having you around always made me feel like we will be forever young, yet, you ended up breaking that rule, you grumpy old geezer!
  • I really hope you brushed your teeth this morning! Because with your age, I’m not sure your teeth will survive until next year.
  • If you believe in it, you can be anything! Unless you want to be young again, then I’m afraid you missed that train old pal!
  • Just to be sure, I’m going to bring a few buckets full with water tonight before you light up the candles, don’t want to be homeless on your birthday due to an accidental fire! Happy birthday my friend!
  • Instead of being sad because you grew up, be happy because you will not be the grumpy old geezer you will become in 10 years! Happy birthday!
  • So, I always wanted to learn about dinosaurs. Could you share your knowledge with me? I mean, you have probably met them in person! Just kidding, happy birthday you fossil!
  • They say that at your age, birthday cocktails should be replaced with nutritional smoothies. Thank goodness we never listen to what they say.


  • Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
  • I don’t know how you do it. You don’t look a year older than 185! Happy Birthday to the best friend, ever!
  • Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  • Happy Birthday on your amazing day, I hope that you don’t die before you eat your cake. You’re another year older and another year wiser. So put your brain to work and figure out there isn’t no gift for you.
  • Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life said, Kitty Collins. Be glad you’re doing it gracefully.
  • Don’t think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.
  • (written in real small text). You’re not old until you can’t read this writing anymore.
  • You’re older. You’re wiser. You’re sophisticated. You’re far too mature to be concerned with material things like presents.
  • Celebration time: Happy birthday, you old bag!
  • I have trouble wrapping my head around these birthdays we continue to have. I have trouble wrapping my head around lots of things. Like, why do the most biscuit-headed guys come in the best wrapping?
  • Happy Birthday to my Bestie. Rhyming makes me testy. I’ll try to make it jesty. Don’t get mad if it’s pesky, but have a zesty day! Hey, I tried.
  • We’re best friends, so there are certain things I know about you. You’re humble and lavish gifts embarrass you. So,(only to make you comfortable, of course) I’ve limited my birthday wishes to this simple, heartfelt card. Your welcome.
  • On your birthday, let’s solidify our friendship commitment and the bond we share. We always have each other’s back, right? (I hope so. You’ve got WAY too much “on” me!)
  • Happy birthday to a loyal friend who looks as cool as he did in high school. You can still rock that tie-dye, AND you’ve hung on to our friendship and your mullet, whether we’re popular or not.


  • Come on, don’t be like this. You have survived this year. Although you’re older, trust me it’s better than the alternative.
  • Congratulations on your birthday! Remember Today, no sex! Because you need all your energy to blow out the candles!
  • Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.
  • It’s your birthday, and I must say, you indeed take the cake! And the ice cream. And all the rest of the snacks. Slow down and save some for the rest of us!
  • Don’t feel uncomfortable about your age. We will all one day get as old as you are.
  • Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit….but check it for wrinkles first!
  • Don’t forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.
  • An old fart is as good as a new one…
  • Enjoy your birthday cake today since tomorrow we’ll return to judging you based on every single morsel you ingest.
  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
  • Forget about the past, you can’t change it, forget about the future, you can’t predict it, forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!
  • Forget your past, it’s already done. Forget your present, too; because I forgot.
  • I’m throwing you an existentialist themed birthday party. If you’re in the woods, and a tree falls on your birthday, and there’s no one there to see it, are you still a year older? I’ll stay out of the woods just in case.
  • Why do old guys start growing hair from their ears? On this birthday, I figured you could answer from personal knowledge. While you’re at it, either pull up those dark socks or change from shorts into pants – as a public service.
  • Friends may come and go, but birthdays just accumulate.
  • George Carlin said that. Don’t ask me what it means. You wanted something unique for your birthday, you got it.
  • Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.

Whether you write or find a card that reflects your friend’s personality, it’s great to include some good humor too. Some people are sensitive about age, but if your friend isn’t then a few funny birthday messages about this topic are typical on this special day. One sentiment often expressed in funny terms is “You aren’t becoming older, you’re becoming a classic.” Old sayings such as “A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age” is a fun remark as is “You’re so old today when you look at your birth certificate it’s expired”. Another is “Remember to count your blessings and not your wrinkles.” These usually get a smile from those comfortable with turning a year older. A sweeter funny thought is “You aren’t really forty, you’re just eighteen with twenty-two years of experience. Check out this large collection of funny birthday wishes and sayings and make your choice.

The Funniest Birthday Cards

The Most Hilarious Birthday Messages

  • Happy birthday to a man who is really younger than he looks.
  • Have fun as much as you can, but not too much, because you are at a vulnerable age.
  • Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself.
  • Have you ever try to get yourself in a fridge and see what happens? It’s ok you can light up all your candles now? We all have a glass of water in our hands.
  • Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You look like a monkey. And you smell like one too
  • Hmm … I do not know why, but I had a strong urge to send you a text message! But why? I know! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
  • Happy Birthday! It’s about time you start acting like your real age.
  • Hoping that you can find all the strength and courage needed… to blow all of the candles out.
  • Happy Birthday! The inevitable came a year closer.
  • Hoping you dance the night away or at least watch other people dance late into the night, or at least stay awake…
  • Happy Birthday! You look beautiful for a person who is by one year closer to death.
  • I didn’t forget your birthday. I just forgot today’s date!
  • Happy Birthday! You’re one year closer to your death day.
  • I figured out, what’s the most challenging thing to do. I think it’s the counting of your wrinkles. Finding one is impossible.
  • Happy Birthday, but what’s your secret; a time machine or something.
  • I think we’re going to need a bigger cake to fit all your candles.
  • Happy Birthday, you’re not getting older you’re just a little closer to death.
  • I wanted to give you something unique, grand and loving on your birthday! But I just did not fit on the screen!
  • Happy Birthday. I promise I won’t tell how old you really are!
  • I was trying to think of what to get you for your birthday, but nothing came to mind.
  • I wish you all the best, for another 100 years here on earth!
  • I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
  • I’m just here for the cake.
  • I’m not going to make any age-related jokes, because, in fact, I feel a little pity about how old you are.
  • If someone comes up with the idea to call you old: then hit him with your stick and throw him your teeth! Happy Birthday!
  • If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
  • I’ll always think of you as someone older than me. Happy Birthday.
  • You must have one of the best plastic surgeons. There is no other explanation.
  • You recognize the fact that you’re getting older when the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
  • You think you are old? You’re not old… you were old last year, this year you’re ancient.
  • You think you’re something special because it’s your birthday today? You’re something special every day!
  • You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.
  • Your birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar. Yung No Mo
  • You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
  • You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired
  • You’re a hard person to shop for, so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday.
  • You’re not forty; you’re eighteen with twenty-two years of experience.
  • You’re not getting older. You’re just a little closer to dying! Happy anniversary of your umbilical cord separation.


More Birthday Wishes

People tend to love everything that makes them laugh, be it a joke, quote or person and so we have a list of funny birthday wishes that will help.

Happy Birthday, Old Man! 21 Brutally Funny Birthday Wishes For Him

birthday wish jokes

Funny Birthday Wishes


The best funny birthday wishes can make any birthday guy or gal gladly laugh at themselves. That's exactly the kind of funny birthday messages you'll find here. Remember, laughter is the best medicine and, in this case, the best birthday gift you can give to someone special.

Jump to the
Funny Birthday Wishes You Need


Birthday Wishes

Send the funny birthday wishes below to birthday gals and guys who could really use a good laugh to kick start their special day. 

Happy birthday. Don't be grumpy that you're a year older. Keep your chin up…if you can!

Happy birthday! If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them! 

Happy birthday. For you, the only way to look younger is to add at least a decade to your age.

Happy birthday. At your age, you should really try to see everything as large as life…starting with LARGE print.

Happy birthday! At our age, I don't know why people expect us to remember their birthdays. On a good day, we're lucky if we even remember where our car keys are! 

Happy birthday! Considering all the candles on your cake, I hope you remembered to top up your fire insurance.

Happy birthday! Don't count the candles on your cake. Just be glad that you're not down for the count.

Happy birthday! At this point in your life, you should really think of making a new start. You should really start lying about your age.

Happy birthday! You've finally reached the age of wisdom but nobody wants to listen to you.

Top Picks
My favorite funny birthday wishes

The funny birthday wishes below are, to me, some of the funniest messages on the site. That's because each one expresses something older people think to themselves when they start to get up in years. These funny birthday wishes are also universal. Any person older than 40 can relate to them.

Happy birthday! There's a good way to figure out if you're getting old: when you start to get brain dexterity games as birthday gifts.

Happy birthday. I guess we've reached the age when every compliment we get is typically accompanied by "for someone your age."  

Happy birthday. You know you're getting older when you go from being “carded” for alcohol purchases to being asked, "would you like the senior's discount, sir?"

Happy birthday. Stop counting your candles and start counting your blessings. You still have hair on your head, not in your ears and nose! 

You know how most people, on your birthday, tell you, "you never seem to age." Well, I’m not one of them. Happy birthday, old fart!

Yes, you’re getting older and wrinklier every day, but it could be worse. You could still have an acne problem! Happy birthday!

They say that with age comes wisdom. I’m not so sure. I've met a lot of really stupid old people. So far, you're not one of them. Happy birthday.

Whoever said that time waits for no man, but stands still for a woman of 30, is an idiot. No woman in her right mind would ever admit to turning 30. Happy 29th birthday!

Happy birthday. Time may heal all wounds, but it leaves you with saggy skin and crow's feet.

Happy birthday! Statistics show that people who keep celebrating birthdays live longer but eventually look worse than Keith Richards in the morning.

Happy birthday! Can you blow out all the birthday candles on your cake or should I call the fire department? 

Happy birthday! Don't be sad! Count your blessings, not your age spots.  

Happy birthday! You still have the face of  an angel. You don't look a day older than when you first bought it.

Happy birthday. You know you're getting old when you lose count midway through counting the candles on your birthday cake.

Happy birthday. Remember I promised to tell you when it was time to stop shopping at trendy teen stores? You do know there's a Walmart nearby?

Happy birthday! I'm not going to make fun of your age. I sincerely believe that it's wrong to mock old people like you.  

Happy birthday! On your special day, make time to play in your birthday suit. But first make sure it’s clean, wrinkle-free and doesn't smell weird.

Happy birthday! You can't pick your birthday, but you can pick your age. 

Happy birthday! You’ll know you're a grown-up...when your birthday cards no longer come with money.

Happy birthday! If, today, you're looking in the mirror and only see an old person staring back at you, look on the bright side. You still have excellent vision.

Happy birthday to a person who is truly brilliant, incredibly gorgeous, unbelievably funny and, quite luckily, has been blessed with my DNA.

Happy birthday! You'll know you're getting older...when your childhood nightmares, like missing a party, staying home on a Saturday night and going to bed early, actually sound amazing to you.

Happy birthday! You may not be over the hill but you have to admit you're starting to feel really woozy from the climb.

Happy birthday! Blowing out your birthday candles at your age is not a good idea. Your dentures may fly out of your mouth and knock someone out. 

Happy birthday! I wanted to get you something tremendous, something that just gets better and better every day, but I couldn't find a box big enough for me.

Happy birthday to my oldest friend! Didn't we always say getting older would be a real gas? Well, we were right. Excess gas and antacid tablets are the bane of our existence.

It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will make you look like Jabba the Hutt. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Another year, another reason to curse the inventor of the first modern mirror. 

Sure, getting older is like a time travel movie in slow motion, but better slow than fast, I always say! I'm in no rush to get to the end of the film. Happy birthday!

You are only young and reckless once. In your case, once upon a time. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday! At your age, you can't decide what you need more somedays: six gallons of coffee, six shots of vodka or six naps.

Happy birthday! You have so many candles on your birthday cake that you can see them from outer space.

Happy birthday! May you live to be so old that your upper arms get so flabby and look like wings.

Happy birthday! At your age, you don't need me to remind you just how old you are. Your bladder reminds you before every trip to the bathroom overnight.

I just bought an old World War II relic. It made me think of you. Happy birthday! 

Happy birthday! This year, I was going to send your birthday wish in an actual greeting card. Instead, I reset my modem and got back my Internet connection.  

Happy birthday! Your birthday is the best excuse to start drinking before breakfast on a weekday.

Happy birthday! You're old enough to know better and too old to remember why.

Happy birthday! Remember when middle age seemed really ancient? I don't remember, either!

Happy birthday! Don't fret! It could be so much worse. In a decade, you will be 10 years older.

Happy birthday! When we were young, everything used to drive us up the wall. Now that we're older, there's actually a stair lift that literally does just that.

Happy birthday. Even though you now have hair growing out of places you never thought possible, you're not old. Just freakishly old.

Happy birthday! Another year older, another year of denying we now always look like we just woke up.

Happy birthday. Remember to wear your sunglasses when your cake comes out. Admit it, there are more candles than cake this year. 

Happy birthday! Don't think of it as your special day to mourn the loss of your youth. Think of it as one year closer to your government pension.

Always take your birthday wishes with a grain of some lemon and, oh, a bottle of tequila. Happy birthday! Let's party!

Happy birthday! You have a right to act as young as you feel or as young as you can get away with.

Happy birthday. Be glad you're alive and greet each day with a smile…not false teeth and deep smile lines. 

Happy birthday! If you haven't started to act your age by now, stop trying. You look your age.

First, I would like to wish you a "happy birthday!" Now I will tell you why it isn't.

Happy birthday! As a kid, I taught you to walk, talk and play nice. Now that you're older,I wish you'd learn to sit still, keep quiet and make a nice living.

Happy birthday. With all the candles on your birthday cake, your heating bill should be pretty low this month.

Happy birthday. You know you're older than you think...when eating a bowl of cereal for supper is preferable to cooking dinner.

Happy birthday. It's great to be young, beautiful and energetic. You must miss those days!

Happy birthday. If you feel that you must lose weight, grab two pieces of your birthday cake (one in each hand) and, like magic, you'll be on a balanced diet!

Happy birthday. Your mind is still in good shape. You may be a little forgetful but at least you haven't forgotten that you're forgetful.

There's only one birthday that's truly bad: your last one! All the rest, it's been scientifically proven, are good for your health. Here's to another happy birthday.

Happy birthday! Age is merely a number. In your case, it's a freakishly humongous number.

Happy birthday! For you, the stone age must have a whole new meaning. I mean the gall, kidney and bladder stone age.

Happy birthday. Remember how excited you were as a kid whenever you had a birthday? Kids are stupid.

Happy birthday. As you get older, don't let your age get you down. It's too hard to get back up. 

Happy birthday. You know you're older than you think when you really start believing that 50 is the new 40! 

Happy birthday! Now that you’re getting older, your kids should respect you. After all, you graduated from high school and college without Google or Wikipedia. 

I know you hate birthdays but you should celebrate yours. Aren't most people your age dead? Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! You know you're older than you think when putting on lipstick and eyeliner is harder than exercising! 

Happy birthday! I can't wait for your special day to end, so we can celebrate the one that's really special — mine. 

Happy birthday! If age is all in our minds, why do we feel more and more aches and pains all over our bodies as we get older?

Happy birthday! Birthdays are nature's way of making sure we don’t get out of here alive.

Happy birthday! Did you turn up the heat or just light all the candles on your birthday cake?

Birthdays can be hazardous to your health. The more you have, the worse you look and feel and the less you see and hear.

Happy birthday! With age comes wisdom and grace. Better luck next year.

Birthdays are like drinking. After a few, you feel great. Too many, you feel like hell.

Happy birthday! The older you get, the richer I feel to have a friend like you (someone who's always happy to pick up the tab for dinner and drinks). 

Happy birthday! If only the good die young, I guess you're not such an angel after all!

Happy birthday! It's nice to have white teeth. Remember what yours used to look like? Me neither.

Happy birthday! At our age, the best gift to get is forgetfulness, so there’s no chance of remembering how old we are.

Happy birthday! If you are as young as you feel, you must be just a few aches and pains shy of your government pension.

Happy birthday! At your age, getting through the day requires extra fruit and vegetables in your diet (extra stalks of celery in your Bloody Mary, extra olives in your Martini and extra lime zest in your Margarita).

Happy birthday! Real friends like me are your friends for life or, given your age, as long as your memory holds out.

Happy birthday! If youth is like a long weekend on Friday night and middle age is like a long weekend on Monday afternoon, old age must be like a midnight snack on Sunday. 

Happy birthday! If getting older is an art, you must be a Picasso!

Happy birthday! The older you get, the easier it'll become to lie about your age (since you won't be able remember yours anyhow).

Happy birthday! Just be happy our birthday celebrations don't get bigger and bigger every year. At your age, we'd have to hold your party at a football stadium.

Happy birthday! You still have a few more good years before your age becomes a punch line.

Birthday Memes

Want to send 100% ORIGINAL funny birthday memes as a gift of laughter? You've come to the right place! Here's a new collection of original, funny birthday memes to share with friends, family or colleagues via Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and more.

Top Picks
My Favorite Funny Birthday Memes

The funny birthday memes below are, to me, some of the funniest on the site. Why? Because both are universal truths. One makes fun of the pathetic attempts of certain men to hide they've gone bald (a vain attempt at youth). The other rings true for those who can smell a birthday cake a mile away or people who think the birthday cake is the best part of any birthday celebration. 

Happy birthday!
You're not fooling anyone!

The hills are alive!
...With the smell of birthday cake!

Birthday Wishes
for Mothers

To give your mom the wonderful gift of laughter on her birthday, take a look at the funny birthday wishes for mothers right below: 

Happy birthday, Mom! Don't worry about getting older. You are still stunning enough for creepy middle-aged men to mistake us for sisters.

To an amazing mother who clothed me, fed me and put a roof over my head. I only have one question: can we continue doing the exact same thing? Happy birthday, Mom!

Happy birthday, Mom! Thank you for giving me everything I ever needed and wanted, especially your DNA. I look marvelous!

Happy Birthday!
I knew a surprise party was a good idea!

You're how old?
That's impossible!

Sorry I missed your birthday!
This is my sad face!


Older, you are!
Happy birthday!

I hate them!

Ate your cake!

You survived another year!

Happy birthday!
Everybody gets a happy birthday!

Happy birthday!
Everybody gets to be a year older!

Happy birthday!
You sexy beast!

Happy birthday!
Age may be relative but you're still old!

Happy birthday!
You've got fartitude!

It's your birthday!
Celebrate in style!

Happy birthday!
You're the baddest cat in the whole damn town!

Happy birthday!
You the dude, his dudeness, the duder, el duderino!

Happy birthday!
Have another frozen daiquiri on me!

Happy birthday, darling!
You're truly a knockout!

Happy birthday!
You sexy genius!

Happy birthday!
At least you're not that ancient!

Happy birthday!
Some people think you're a quack (but I don't)!

Happy birthday!
Mmmm...Old man smell!

Happy birthday!
Felling a little achy!

Happy birthday!
I've got something terribly good planned for you!

Happy birthday!
I baked you a cake this big (but I lost it)!

Happy birthday!
Don't look so blue!

What if I told you
It's not your birthday!

Happy birthday!
I have a great party planned for you!

Happy birthday!
And I thought I was old!

Fake news!
Today is not your birthday!

Happy birthday, Honey!
Getting sleepy?

Happy birthday!
Thought this was one of those BYOBs
(bring your own birthday suit)!

Happy birthday!
Don't I look happy?

I will find you!
And I will give you a birthday hug!

Happy birthday!
Here's to making today easier to swallow!

I like birthday cake!
But only when it's regurgitated!

Comes to your surprise!
At the exact time as you!

Happy birthday!
Keep cool and don't go psycho on me!

I will find you!
And I will kill you...with kindness! Happy B-day!

You know what really grinds my gears?
Annoying adults who love their birthdays!

Oh look, cake!

Happy birthday!
Eat me!

Only got one birthday wish for you!
Go back to your home on Whore Island!

Hello, I must've called 1,000 times!
...To wish you a "Happy Birthday"!
(Stop changing your number)!

Happy birthday
Hope it be best!

It's your birthday again?
You're allowed to be happy, but not in front of me!

Crap, another birthday!
It's getting really old, man!

Catch you later, birthday boy!

Step out of the car, ma'am!
It's a crime how good you look at your age!

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
It's my birthday,
So kiss me, baby!

Keep going, you're getting warmer!
What happens when Dad hides the gift!

I'm just doing this for the gifts!
As of now, you're on my "caca" list!

Screw the cake!
You had me at Nutella!

No party this year?
You are sooooo screwed!

My gift for you!
Happy birthday!

Gluten-free, sugar-free cake?

I came from where?
Bet the stork's looking good now!

There's no such thing as...
A free birthday haircut!

Her: Time for my birthday kiss!
Him: NFW!

Mom, I don't care if you're over-budget!
Get the freaking clown!
You're lucky to even have this job!

Yep, I pooped up my back!
Deal with it!

Welcome to my birthday sleepover!
It'll be a "slice"!

Dad said there's no room for a party!
Now there's no room, MOFO!

When you find out the invitation to your party reads...
"Make a donation in lieu of a gift."

Move one more inch and...
I'll freakin' end you!

She wants her "friend" at her party!
We hope she marries rich!

It's your birthday!

He thinks he looks fab!
Shh, it's his birthday!

WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: Funny Birthday Wishes

Why just say happy birthday best friend, when you can give them the warm Here's to all the inside jokes, all the stupid things we've done together, all the.

birthday wish jokes
Written by Nekora
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