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Adult funny birthday wishes

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Adult funny birthday wishes
March 19, 2019 Wedding Anniversary Wishes 3 comments

Kiss My Nose - Hilarious Happy Birthday Greeting Card with Envelope (4.63 x 6.75 Inch) - Adult Humor, Romantic, Sexy Joke - Funny Bday Card for Wife.

Sending birthday greetings has become a necessary tradition these days. It can be hard to find the perfect birthday wish for the special birthday boy or girl especially, with so many options. Don’t stress out over what to write in a birthday card.  Make the next birthday you celebrate a special one and personalize your birthday wishes with a handpicked happy birthday quote. Whether you’re looking for a greeting to make someone roll over laughing or a heart-warming tearjerker, these birthday quotes are a great place to start. A genuine birthday wish will surely make anyone’s day. This year, say “Happy Birthday!” with a few words that no one will forget.

50 Birthday Quotes for Your Mother, Father, Son and Daughter

When someone near and dear to your heart turns another year older, you’ll want to do everything you can to make their day extra memorable. Whether you’re throwing a birthday party, a cocktail party or planning a dinner at the honoree’s favorite restaurant, it’s tradition to give the guest of honor a Happy Birthday card. As if picking out a card wasn’t tough enough, on top of that you’ll need to craft a happy birthday message too.

When you sit down with a blank greeting card in front of you, don’t be surprised if you can’t seem to put the pen to paper. Many of us get a case of writers block when we sit down to write a birthday card greeting, especially to the people we love the most. Sure, the birthday honoree knows just how much you love and appreciate him or her but, it doesn’t hurt to remind them on their day.

The following birthday quotes will make for the nicest addition to your birthday cards for family and friends. Jump to any relevant section below:

Inspirational Birthday Quotes

Another year older and another reason to celebrate! Give your birthday card message a forward looking touch with one of these inspirational birthday quotes. 

  • “Count your life by smiles, not tears. Count your age by friends, not years. Happy birthday!”
  • “Happy birthday! I hope all your birthday wishes and dreams come true.”
  • “A wish for you on your birthday, whatever you ask may you receive, whatever you seek may you find, whatever you wish may it be fulfilled on your birthday and always. Happy birthday!”
  • “ Another adventure filled year awaits you. Welcome it by celebrating your birthday with pomp and splendor. Wishing you a very happy and fun-filled birthday!”
  • “May the joy that you have spread in the past come back to you on this day. Wishing you a very happy birthday!”
  • “Happy birthday! Your life is just about to pick up speed and blast off into the stratosphere. Wear a seat belt and be sure to enjoy the journey. Happy birthday!”
  • “This birthday, I wish you abundant happiness and love. May all your dreams turn into reality and may lady luck visit your home today. Happy birthday to one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known.”
  • “May you be gifted with life’s biggest joys and never-ending bliss. After all, you yourself are a gift to earth, so you deserve the best. Happy birthday.”
  • “Count not the candles…see the lights they give. Count not the years, but the life you live. Wishing you a wonderful time ahead. Happy birthday.”
  • “Forget the past; look forward to the future, for the best things are yet to come.”
  • “Birthdays are a new start, a fresh beginning and a time to pursue new endeavors with new goals. Move forward with confidence and courage. You are a very special person. May today and all of your days be amazing!”
  • “Your birthday is the first day of another 365-day journey. Be the shining thread in the beautiful tapestry of the world to make this year the best ever. Enjoy the ride.”
  • “Be happy! Today is the day you were brought into this world to be a blessing and inspiration to the people around you! You are a wonderful person! May you be given more birthdays to fulfill all of your dreams!”

Funny Happy Birthday Quotes

Birthdays are meant to be full of laughter and cheer. When the guest of honor opens his or her birthday card from you, you’ll know why they can’t stop smiling. Pick out one of these funny happy birthday quotes or mix and match them with your own words to craft the perfect cheers to another year older. 

Featured Birthday Party Invitation | Sprinkle

  • “Happy birthday! May your Facebook wall be filled with messages from people you never talk to.”
  • “You’re older today than yesterday but younger than tomorrow, happy birthday!”
  • “Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one. Happy birthday!”
  • “Cheers on your birthday. One step closer to adult underpants.”
  • “Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.”
  • “Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me a lot of myself… from one fabulous chick to another!”
  • “Don’t get all weird about getting older! Our age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying us!”
  • “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. Happy birthday!”
  • “You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime. Happy birthday!”
  • “On your birthday, I thought of giving you the cutest gift in the world. But then I realized that is not possible, because you yourself are the cutest gift in the world.”
  • “Happy birthday to someone who is forever young!”
  • “It’s birthday time again, and wow! You’re a whole year older now! So clown around and have some fun to make this birthday your best one. Happy birthday!”
  • “Just wanted to be the first one to wish you happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers. So, happy birthday!”
  • “Congratulations on being even more experienced. I’m not sure what you learned this year, but every experience transforms us into the people we are today. Happy birthday!”
  • “When the little kids ask how old you are at your party, you should go ahead and tell them. While they’re distracted trying to count that high, you can steal a bite of their cake! Happy birthday!”

Cute Happy Birthday Quotes

No matter who your card recipient may be, there is something sweet about adding a cute happy birthday quotes to your messages. If your writing a birthday card message for mom or for your sister, make sure to use one of these sentiments to wish her well. 

Tip: Write a happy birthday quote to your little one. That way he or she can read it when they get a little older! Awh!

  • “Wishing you a day filled with happiness and a year filled with joy. Happy birthday!”
  • “Sending you smiles for every moment of your special day…Have a wonderful time and a very happy birthday!”
  • “Hope your special day brings you all that your heart desires! Here’s wishing you a day full of pleasant surprises! Happy birthday!”
  • “On your birthday we wish for you that whatever you want most in life it comes to you just the way you imagined it or better. Happy birthday!”
  • “Sending your way a bouquet of happiness…To wish you a very happy birthday!”
  • “Wishing you a beautiful day with good health and happiness forever. Happy birthday!”
  • “It’s a smile from me… To wish you a day that brings the same kind of happiness and joy that you bring to me. Happy birthday!”
  • “On this wonderful day, I wish you the best that life has to offer! Happy birthday!”
  • “I may not be by your side celebrating your special day with you, but I want you to know that I’m thinking of you and wishing you a wonderful birthday.”
  • “I wish for all of your wishes to come true. Happy birthday!”
  • “Many years ago on this day, God decided to send an angel to earth. The angel was meant to touch lives and that happened! Happy birthday my sweet angel!”
  • “Sending you a birthday wish wrapped with all my love. Have a very happy birthday!”
  • “ Happy birthday to you. From good friends and true, from old friends and new, may good luck go with you and happiness too!”
  • “A simple celebration, a gathering of friends; here wishing you great happiness and a joy that never ends.”
  • “It’s always a treat to wish happy birthday to someone so sweet.”
  • “Happy birthday to one of my best friends. Here’s to another year of laughing at our own jokes and keeping each other sane! Love you and happy birthday!”
  • “On this special day, I raise a toast to you and your life. Happy birthday.”
  • “You look younger than ever! Happy birthday!”
  • “Words alone are not enough to express how happy I am you are celebrating another year of your life! My wish for you on your birthday is that you are, and will always be, happy and healthy. Don’t ever change! Happy birthday my dear.”
  • I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found a friend like you. You make every day of my life so special. It’s my goal to make sure your birthday is one of the most special days ever. I can’t wait to celebrate with you!”

Funny Happy Birthday Adult | Adult Funny Birthday Wishes. birthday for old men funny | Old Man Birthday Happy Birthday Notes, Old Man Birthday.

Sarcastic Birthday Wishes | Funny Messages for Those Closest to You

adult funny birthday wishes

Birthdays are special to all of us. If anyone forgets to wish you on your day, chances are high that you will never forget that they didn’t. It is important to wish loved ones, friends and family on their special day and put a smile on their face. Birthday wishes make people feel loved and remembered. A call, text or even a Facebook message goes a long way in saying “we care”. A simple call at midnight to wish “Happy Birthday” or a bouquet of flowers with a card and chocolates does the trick.

But then again that is all cliché. Isn’t it much more fun when you can poke others about turning older? People are taking to funny birthday wishes to make the other person smile from ear to ear. It is effective, simple and can go on to be one of the most memorable wishes. Whatever you do, here are some tips to keep in mind while sending out a funny birthday wish:


Damn, you’re so old, your first pet must have been a dinosaur!


These are some funny and witty messages that you can share on social media or send to someone out on a birthday ecard, SMS or via e-mail on their special day.

Short Funny Birthday Wishes

  • We thought we would get the right amount of candles to put on your cake this year, but quickly ran out of space. Happy Birthday!
  • One of the best pieces of advice in life is “you have to appreciate the little things”. That said, I know that spotting little things is easier said than done at your age! Happy Birthday!
  • Seeing as I usually forget everyone’s birthdays, you should consider it a miracle that I’m sending you this message. Happy Birthday!
  • It’s about time one of us turned 18! Drinks are on you, then! Happy Birthday!
  • Don’t let your age get you down, it won’t be long until you are allowed to start learning to drive. But until then, on your bike! Happy Birthday!
  • To my brother who still owes me several big ones. I didn’t get you a gift this year, so let’s call it even. Happy Birthday!
  • Ain’t no Cake Big Enough! | Funny Birthday Wishes for Older and Younger Brothers
  • I can’t believe how big you’re getting! Long gone are the days when I could steal cake from your plate and no one would ever be the wiser. Happy Birthday!
  • Don’t you think it’s about time we grew up a bit and stopped painting the town? I know exactly what you’ll say. Next year. Happy Birthday!
  • I’m not a fan of overly sweet messages as you know, birthdays are for fun! So let’s ditch the old folks later and get out and about like we used to! Happy Birthday!

Oh yeah, one more year to annoy everyone you know.

  • Oh yeah, one more year to annoy everyone you know. Happy Birthday, anyway!…
  • I hope you have low expectations for your meal and cake this year, I hear dad’s having a go at being the chef. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday, you’re closer to seeing another century pass.
  • Your LOL Message! | Funny Birthday Wishes for a Friend
  • One more year to pretend you’re old enough to care about people around you.
  • You’re not old. You’re just old enough to know better and not old enough to care. Happy Birthday!
  • The emergency department is on speed dial just in case you have an unexpected asthma attack blowing the candles.
  • Party like it’s 1959, when you could still dance and drink alcohol without ending up you to the hospital.
  • Remember when we stayed up late running from the law? No? Good. I don’t either. Happy Birthday oldie!

Another year to prove that older doesn’t really mean wiser.

  • Another year to prove that older doesn’t really mean wiser. Happy birthday!
  • Going old happens. Growing up is a choice. Happy Birthday.
  • Happy Birthday. You’re one step closer to diapers being mandatory!
  • I made a list about the words of wisdom I wanted to give you for your birthday. It’s still blank. Maybe next year.
  • May all your birthday wishes come true — except for the illegal ones!

Happy Birthday. Thank you for always being older than me.

  • It’s your birthday, but make sure you get all your present before you offend everyone.
  • Today is your birthday, the only day you’re allowed to say things that you’d regret on any other day.
  • Oh yeah! You’re getting closer to the age when the government sends you money every month. Happy Birthday!
  • Statistics show that people who live longer have more birthdays, costing us more money for presents!
  • If you counted your birthday in dog years, you’d now be a teenager! Happy Birthday.
  • Another year to kick your bucket list to the curb.

More Birthdays bring a longer life. No science in that. Happy Birthday!

  • Happy birthday! Here’s to being immature for a lifetime.
  • As your younger sister, it’s only right for me to remind you on your birthday that you’re still older than me. Ha!
  • A Great and Hilarious Tribute to your Sis! | Funny Birthday Wishes for your Sister
  • When I reach your age I’ll still younger than you, you dinosaur! Happy bday!
  • Today is the start of the rest of your life. What? You’re how old. Revise: Today is the start of the oldest part of your life.

If you counted your birthday in dog years, you’d now be a teenager! Happy Birthday.

  • Don’t you wish you were a kid again? Of course not, cause you’re still doing the same things you did back then.
  • Here’s hoping that you enjoy your birthday as much as you enjoy torturing everyone all year.
  • I tried to find something that represented the year you were born. Unfortunately, the thrift shops were closed. Happy Birthday.
  • Congratulations bud! You are now officially 20 years away from turning 50.

You’re still young! Happy Bday.

  • I’m just coming over for the treat. By the way, many happy returns.
  • Here is a hug! Happy birthday!!!! PS: I’m broke!
  • You just lost one more year of your life. Happy birthday, man!
  • It is said that those who have the most birthdays, live the longest. Birthdays are great. Happy birthday, dude.

Happy birthday, Oldie.

  • Happy birthday, Dinosaur.
  • You turned 50? Well that botox is certainly working.
  • You asked for it. Here is nothing. Happy birthday.
  • I hope you see the day when you have no teeth.
  • Will there be cake tomorrow or no?
  • Happy birthday, my 30-year-old Grandma.

This year, do it your way.

  • Want to look young today? Play chess with Grandpa.
  • Want to look young today? Go to an old age home.
  • You just tuned 40? Well, your mom just told me you are 43.
  • Your grandmother wants her walking stick back. Happy Birthday!
  • I can never forget your birthday. It always comes after the day you remind me of it. Happy birthday.
  • Happy 500th birthday, Vampire. May you stay forever young!
  • Do I have to remind you at your age that TODAY is your birthday? Happy birthday to you.

Your age today… is the new black.

  • You’re great and even greater on your birthday. YES, I’ve been drinking!
  • The funny thing about you is that you age, but your maturity levels always stay the same!
  • This time we made sure that your candles cost less than the cake. We just got the two numbers. Have a happy 85th birthday!
  • The secret to a great birthday is not remembering what happened that day. Just don’t wake up in jail.
  • Now it’s time to fall in love, get married and make me a grandparent. And hopefully do all those things in this order! Until then Happy Birthday!
  • Your wife say you’re definitely getting better with age. Does that mean you started to take the trash out? Happy Bday.

On the occasion of this birthday, looking for the meaning of life in the back of my head.

  • This birthday means it’ time to start treating your kids like gold. They’ll be choosing your nursing home soon.
  • It’s your birthday. The good news is that you’re only as old as you act and right now you’re in kindergarten.
  • I will never send you one of those greeting cards making fun about your age. I know how sensitive old folks are about their age.
  • Finally you’re 21 and legally able to do everything you’ve been doing since you were 14 years old.

  • What comes with being 18 years old? Bills, bills and more bills… and waiting three more years to do what you really want.
  • I can’t believe you’re 50. You don’t look a day over 49 and a half.
  • You know you’re getting old when your kids are lecturing you. Fight the power! Happy Birthday!

Birthdays are nuts!

  • I bet if you knew at 18 years old what you know now, you’d have still done the same stupid things that you did. Here’s to staying young. Happy Birthday.
  • I thought about sending you a birthday card mocking your age, but I decided against it. Remember that when you are writing your will.
  • You’re the best young person I know. You make me thankful to be old.
  • Don’t worry about getting old. You’re still above ground.
  • The secret to staying young is lying about your age. Happy Birthday!

Blow this candle and hope for the best.

  • Let’s be honest! You don’t really care what I write on this card. You probably won’t even read it. All you care about is the gift inside! And that’s why I love you, happy birthday!
  • Consider the positives. You have another birthday and you still have all your teeth.
  • I just wanted to remind you that you’re a year older than you were last year.
  • Today is the day when everyone reminds you you’re a year older and we all pretend to be happy about it.
  • Happy Birthday! You don’t look a day over… whatever age you were at your last birthday!
  • You had me at “there will be cake and ice cream”. Happy Birthday to a truly special person who admires candy!

Happy Baaaaaaaaarthday!

Longer Funny Birthday Wishes

  • We all knew this day was coming, it’s not bad luck, its nature. It’s best to just suck it up and accept the truth. It’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public. Happy Birthday!
  • Mum, it’s that time of year again! You do make it hard for us, don’t you?! You never chose a favorite cake for us to get, or special thing for us to do. You can never give us a list of things you want or favorite meal for us to prepare! You are the hardest woman on earth to please! For these reasons we were forced to make it up, so don’t blame us if the day is not up to scratch! Happy Birthday to the world’s biggest fence-sitting mum!
  • Not quite an adult, but no longer a child. This is one of the toughest ages of your life. You have most of life’s firsts to look forward to, and a whole mess of early mistakes to leave behind. Let me give you one single piece of advice, that I wish someone had told me when I was your age: Stay away from bad boys.

Dear friend, have you ever wondered why I’ve kept you around for so long? You know too many of my secrets!

  • You made it! You are now officially old! Maybe no one else has the guts to let you know, but don’t worry. In my opinion you’ll make a sexy grey fox for sure!
  • Another year, another birthday to organize, another headache. You better get used to headaches; they become more and more common when pushing middle age!
  • You may be just a one year old baby! So you can’t read this message yet! But since we have Twitter, Facebook and the Cloud, doing this kind of thing now makes sense!
  • Last year it was a nice dinner at a fantastic hotel, the year before we went to Vegas, and now this year you’re just staying in? I guess the rumors are true, old age does ruin people. Happy Birthday! Have a good one!

Happy Birthday. Enjoy this day.

  • I never celebrate my birthday with a huge party, and you always ask me why. While tomorrow you will be surrounded by mess and a pile of huge hospitality bills, I will be enjoying a nice quiet lie in. That’s why.
  • If you are hung over, struggle to think clearly and suffer a terrible headache in the morning, don’t worry. It only means you’ve had one of the best nights of your life!
  • If you were a boy I would be telling you to have a great time, not to be shy, to be brave, talk to everyone and not to get into too much trouble! But since you’re a girl I’m obliged to remind you that talking to strangers is a bad idea. Stay away from all naughty looking boys and don’t get into any trouble at all! Enjoy!

Birthday and liking it.

  • You should see your age as something to boast about, not worry over. The next time someone makes an age joke at you, remind them that you’ve been around longer than they’ve been able to walk, and if they make it to half your age, they should consider themselves lucky!
  • To the world’s greatest dad, you make me laugh, you keep me fed, you brush my hair and buy me clothes. So I guess it’s only fair that I return the favor and spoil you this one day of the year! Don’t expect big things though, please remember I’m only small. Happy Birthday.

If we’re late, keep us some cake.

  • You probably haven’t been told this before, but when you were first born the doctors thought there was something wrong with you! With those eyes, strange ears and funny nose, it’s genuinely quite amazing they ever let you leave the hospital.
  • To my dearest, most favorite and most precious little sister. Our family was so very blessed the day you were born. It was such a joy to grow up with you and share so many great moments together. Remember these kind words when you’re cutting and dishing out the cake portions later!
  • The best thing about your birthday is that you’ve now reached the age to say: “Those kids don’t know anything. When I was young…” and then go on blathering all day, annoying everyone around you.
  • I just wanted you to know that they say 50 is the new 30, skinny jeans are out and the saggy, relaxed look is in! Also, neatly pressed polo shirts are out and well worn and wrinkled is in! Happy Birthday you trendsetter you!!

May your day be more beautiful than a Unicorn farting rainbows!

  • Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. You smell like my husband and you sorta look like him too.
  • You remind me of a jar of pickles. You’re pretty well preserved for your age. Happy Birthday, my dear old friend!
  • Happy Birthday—-& just to let you know the tablecloth is flame resistant, I have the fire department on stand-by and there is a fire extinguisher under the table.

And then he tells me I’m just 27.

  • I have sources that have informed me that it’s your birthday and that you are a die-hard Obama fan. Enjoy this premium roast coffee that is imported and served at the White House! Kenya Arabica Bean Anniversary of Barack Obama’s Kenyan Birth blend.
  • You have more preservatives in you than a jar of mayonnaise! There isn’t an expiration date on your bottom, is there? Happy Birthday, my fantastically well preserved friend!
  • My momma always said “Life was like a box of chocolates. You gotta keep sticking your finger in them until you find the one that you want to get.” Happy Birthday.

If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!

  • “You want answers?! You can’t handle the truth!” …but I will tell you anyways. It’s your god*amn birthday!
  • I hope your birthday leaves you less hot & bothered than when you read 50 Shades of Grey. Happy Birthday.
  • Don’t think of them as wrinkles. Think of them as creases that just need some starch and a bit of ironing. Cheers to another year & another crease.
  • Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…..

Birthdays are a freud. Nobody is getting any junger.

  • Congratulations! You are another year closer to being able to get that senior discount at Target and wear the underwear that you can pee in!!
  • Brother, I figured today would be as good a day as any to tell you that you were adopted!! Just kidding. Happy Birthday—or is it??
  • Lucille Ball said it best when she said, “The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” May you stay forever 28—LIAR!

Lucille Ball said it best when she said: The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age! May You stay forever 28…Liar!

  • I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys “R” Us kid. If you are now singing the end of this magical verse, you are most certainly an 80s kid. Happy Birthday to my NKOTB loving, neon scrunchy wearing, slap bracelet collecting friend.
  • If you’re having vanilla cake I would like some ice cream… but on the side. If it’s chocolate cake, no ice cream. If you’re having vanilla and chocolate marble cake, I would like the ice cream served on top of the cake. If there’s no cake, than just a scoop of chocolate ice cream. Happy Birthday to a friend that always goes above and beyond!!
  • I hope you enjoy your birthday as much as Kim Kardashian enjoys taking selfies!
  • I would like to wish you a politically correct birthday so I won’t encourage overindulgence of alcohol, getting less than the recommended 9 hours of sleep, or listening to excessively loud rock music…..but happy birthday, even if all the fun has been sucked out of it!

And I’m saving all my love for your birthday cake tonight.

  • Chuck Norris wanted to apologize for not being able to make it to your birthday party. He was busy geocaching in Antarctica. Happy Birthday.
  • Cougar was so last year. This year you are a cheetah, fierce & fabulous!! Happy Birthday!!!
  • If  ‘only the good die young’,…..I’m afraid you’re going to be celebrating a few more birthdays.
  • One must not simply wish someone a happy birthday, one must shout it from the rooftops, start a conga line in the middle of town, resurrect Julia Child to bake a triple layer ice cream cake!
  • Do you want to eat some ice cream? Come on, how about some chocolate cake? I never see you anymore. Come out the door. Come on let’s go and make a wish! Don’t tell me to ‘let it go’ because your birthday comes only once a year. We used to be best buddies but now we’re not. Do I really smell that bad? I want to wish you happy birthday, to your face. Not from behind a door.

I love parties. Happy Birthday.

  • I’m glad I don’t need Facebook to tell me it’s your birthday. Happy Birthday!
  • To show how not old we are I am going to wish you happy birthday in under 140 characters. #happybirthday #youngandhot #stillgettingcarded
  • Happy Birthday to someone who is aging better than Britney Spears AND Lindsay Lohan!!
  • Happy 16th Birthday, Sweetie! After digging out your old baby photo albums, I found the cutest picture of you wearing nothing but socks and a smile! I wished you happy birthday on your Facebook and Instagram. I couldn’t figure out how to upload the darn photo on Twitter. I hope you have a great day! I love you!

Just call me when the cake comes in.

  • May the odds be ever in your favor… and if they’re not I hope there is a Katniss to take your place because it isn’t going to be me!
  • Brace yourself. An explosion of Facebook notifications is coming. Happy Birthday from the Lannisters… we never forget.
  • “We got no food! We got no jobs! Our pets heads are falling off!!” I hope you are having a better day than Harry & Lloyd. Happy Birthday, friend!
  • You’re depressed about being another year older? Look on the bright side, you don’t live in North Korea where that evil dictator Kim Jong-un could kill you for it.
  • You know you’re old when your social calendar has bi-weekly ‘meet friends for coffee @ blood pressure clinic’ on it. Happy birthday, you old fart.
  • I promise when you get old and forgetful I won’t let you forget to wash your hands after you pee or feed the cat food to your cat and not yourself. Happy Birthday, Mother!

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Click here for our best birthday wishes.

> Avoid cracking any jokes that will hurt the other person’s feelings.

> Consider the person and his age while sending the joke.

> Be sure that the other person will take things in his/her stride.

> Make sure that you share that kind of leg pulling relationship with the person otherwise things can get awkward.

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adult funny birthday wishes

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itemId=4120-dog-beers-humor-birthday-card-ephemera-inc|~|code=4120|~|orderable=T|~|orderCount=161|~|itemdatenumber=20140630|~|hasOptions=F|~|hasBlank=4120k-dog-beers-humor-not-greeted-greeting-card-ephemera-inc.html|~|isJumbo=N|~|isAssorted=N|~|name=Dog Beers Card|~|insidetext=Another birthday, but who’s counting.* *Celebrate responsibly and keep off the furniture.|~|rating=5|~|ratingCount=1|~|price=3.75|~|priceReg=3.75|~|priceSale=|~|image=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/dog-beers-card-110.jpg|~|enlageimage=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/dog-beers-card-69.jpg|~|qoimg=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/dog-beers-card-70.jpg

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itemId=4126-grammar-humorous-birthday-greeting-card-ephemera-inc|~|code=4126|~|orderable=T|~|orderCount=199|~|itemdatenumber=20140630|~|hasOptions=F|~|hasBlank=4126k-grammar-humorous-not-greeted-paper-card-ephemera-inc.html|~|isJumbo=N|~|isAssorted=N|~|name=Grammar Card|~|insidetext=Happy Birthday, You’re Da Shit!|~|rating=5|~|ratingCount=1|~|price=3.75|~|priceReg=3.75|~|priceSale=|~|image=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/grammar-card-199.jpg|~|enlageimage=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/grammar-card-136.jpg|~|qoimg=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/grammar-card-137.jpg

itemId=4127-plenty-of-sleep-funny-birthday-card-ephemera-inc|~|code=4127|~|orderable=T|~|orderCount=339|~|itemdatenumber=20140630|~|hasOptions=F|~|hasBlank=4127k-plenty-of-sleep-funny-not-greeted-greeting-card-ephemera-inc.html|~|isJumbo=N|~|isAssorted=N|~|name=Plenty of Sleep Card|~|insidetext=Wishing You A Memorable Birthday!|~|rating=0|~|ratingCount=0|~|price=3.75|~|priceReg=3.75|~|priceSale=|~|image=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/plenty-of-sleep-card-111.jpg|~|enlageimage=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/plenty-of-sleep-card-73.jpg|~|qoimg=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/plenty-of-sleep-card-74.jpg

itemId=4128-favorite-yoga-pose-funny-birthday-paper-card-ephemera-inc|~|code=4128|~|orderable=T|~|orderCount=1373|~|itemdatenumber=20140630|~|hasOptions=F|~|hasBlank=4128k-favorite-yoga-pose-humor-not-greeted-card-ephemera-inc.html|~|isJumbo=N|~|isAssorted=N|~|name=Favorite Yoga Pose Card|~|insidetext=Hope Your Birthday Is A Slice Of Heaven!|~|rating=0|~|ratingCount=0|~|price=3.75|~|priceReg=3.75|~|priceSale=|~|image=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/favorite-yoga-pose-card-111.jpg|~|enlageimage=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/favorite-yoga-pose-card-70.jpg|~|qoimg=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/favorite-yoga-pose-card-71.jpg

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itemId=4130-pay-for-porn-humorous-birthday-card-ephemera-inc|~|code=4130|~|orderable=T|~|orderCount=849|~|itemdatenumber=20140630|~|hasOptions=F|~|hasBlank=4130k-pay-for-porn-humorous-not-greeted-greeting-card-ephemera-inc.html|~|isJumbo=N|~|isAssorted=N|~|name=Pay for Porn Card|~|insidetext=It Is Still Free To Have A Happy Birthday|~|rating=0|~|ratingCount=0|~|price=3.75|~|priceReg=3.75|~|priceSale=|~|image=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/pay-for-porn-card-111.jpg|~|enlageimage=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/pay-for-porn-card-73.jpg|~|qoimg=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/pay-for-porn-card-74.jpg

itemId=4150-gay-or-straight-humorous-birthday-paper-card-ephemera-inc|~|code=4150|~|orderable=T|~|orderCount=314|~|itemdatenumber=20140630|~|hasOptions=F|~|hasBlank=4150k-gay-or-straight-funny-not-greeted-card-ephemera-inc.html|~|isJumbo=N|~|isAssorted=N|~|name=Gay or Straight Card|~|insidetext=Fasten Your Seat Belt And Have A Fast And Furious Birthday.|~|rating=5|~|ratingCount=4|~|price=3.75|~|priceReg=3.75|~|priceSale=|~|image=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/gay-or-straight-card-110.jpg|~|enlageimage=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/gay-or-straight-card-69.jpg|~|qoimg=https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-94387763560218/gay-or-straight-card-70.jpg

Feel like writing a birthday wish that is funny, sarcastic, or borderline rude? Here are some great ideas to inspire your own short and annoying.

Cracking a Birthday Joke | Huge List of Funny Birthday Messages and Wishes

adult funny birthday wishes

100+ Happy Birthday Funny Wishes, Quotes, Jokes & Images

Looking for Happy Birthday funny wishes, quotes, jokes and images to put a smile on someone's face on their birthday? Whether it's for him or for her, a friend or a colleague, or maybe even a belated birthday wish, we've got you covered with our huge selection of funny birthday wishes.

Write them in birthday cards, send them by SMS or email, or message someone on Facebook or Twitter. No matter how you send one of these funny wishes you're sure to brighten their birthday and make them laugh!

Use these quick-links to jump to a particular section, or scroll down the page to see the entire collection of funny birthday quotes and wishes.

QuotesWishesFor HerFor HimBelatedBest FriendJokes

Last updated: February 19, 2019

For more ideas, take a look at funny birthday cards on Amazon.

Happy Birthday Funny Quotes

A selection of happy birthday funny quotes you can use to wish someone a very happy birthday and poke fun at their age on their birthday. Use them as part of a funny birthday card message, or even as a Facebook caption.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! (But it has also been scientifically proven that too many will kill you.)

Don't let ageing get you down... it's too hard to get back up again!

Middle age... when "happy hour" is a nap!

If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you're a genius!

What goes up but never comes down? Your age.

The tragedy of getting old: So many candles... so little cake.

Technically you're not 50. You're only $49.95, plus tax!

They say you lose your mind as you grow older... what they don't tell you is that you won't miss it much!

Age doesn't make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Chili Davis

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~ Jack Benny

Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art.
~ Stanislaw Lec

Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
~ Helen Hayes

I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.


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Happy Birthday Funny Wishes

Some funny happy birthday wishes and messages you can use in a funny birthday card message to friends or family on their birthday.

I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I'm returning the favor. Happy Birthday!

A wise man once said, "Forget about your past, you cannot change it". I'd like to add: "Forget about your present, I didn't get you one".

Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who's smart and funny and good looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities.

It's your birthday? Let's get up to some mischief!

Funny birthday wishes about getting older:

It's OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.

You know, they say that age is really all in the mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.

Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.

You're how old?! Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.

Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years... wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?

When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
~ Unknown.

You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct!

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

You're not old! ...oh, no wait, actually you are, sorry about that...

Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.

I wouldn't say you're old... you've just been young for longer than most of us.

Don't grow up... It's a trap!

Great news! ...you're still alive!

You've got more than half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome... if you could remember any of it.

You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.

I thought you might need some help with the candles. Happy Birthday!

Personalize these happy birthday funny wishes with the age of the person.

Don't think of it as turning [insert age]. We're here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your [insert age -10]th birthday.

Looking [insert age] is great - if you're sixty.

[For under 40s:] You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!

[insert age]?! I demand a recount!

Congratulations on the 10th anniversary of your [XX]th birthday! Here's to many more.

Happy birthday! And remember you're not [insert age] ...you're 18 with [XX] years' experience.

[Insert age] and still too young to plan your own surprise party!

You're 60? That's only 16 in Celsius. Happy birthday!

Deepest sympathies on your [insert age] birthday.


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Happy Birthday Funny Wishes for Her

A collection of funny happy birthday wishes for your mom, sister, aunt, or female friends.

The secret to staying young is make up... make up an age, then stick with it!

Happy birthday. It took you [insert age] years to look this good!

We'll be friends 'til we're old and senile... and then we'll be new friends!

Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.
~ Anna Magnani

You're the youngest [insert age] year old I know.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

You suck at ageing! Can you at least try to look older?

Those aren't gray hairs you see. They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.


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Happy Birthday Funny Wishes for Him

Happy birthday funny wishes for him, including great messages to wish your dad, brother, uncle, or best buddy a very happy birthday!

If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him.

Happy birthday! Don't forget to iron that birthday suit.

A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.

I don't have birthdays anymore, I level up!

Fill in the gaps: H___Y B__T____ ... nice try- HAIRY BUTTOCKS.

Happy Birthday Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you... but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.

Middle age is when your age begins to show around your middle.
~ Bob Hope

You know you're 40 when your back is hairier than your head.

What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I'll never part with it!

A man has reached middle age when he's warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
~ Henry Youngman


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Happy Birthday Funny Belated Wishes

Oh no! Did you forget their birthday? Apologize with one of these funny belated happy birthday messages. I'm sure it will get you back in their good books...

I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy Belated Birthday!

I'm so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn't think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!

I promise this card isn't late. It is intentionally arriving after your birth-day, because I think you deserve a whole birth-month. Happy Birth-month!

I know you think this card is a few days late. It's actually worse than that. This is your card from 2010 that I only just got around to sending. Happy Belated Birthday!

Happy Birthday! Don't think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here's wishing you a wonderful year ahead!


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Happy Birthday Funny Wishes for Best Friend

Funny birthday wishes to wish your best friend a very happy birthday.

Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It's your birthday, just drink whatever's in the glass!

On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship... and all that stuff that doesn't cost anything.

Just imagine all the things you'd want to hear on your birthday ...and assume I wrote them here!

For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.

At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober.... Disappoint them.

You're older; you're wiser; you're sophisticated. Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents.

At least you're not as old as you'll be this time next year.

If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on Facebook!

A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.

You're turning the perfect age. You're old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more. Happy birthday!

The best part of being over forty is that you did most your stupid stuff before the internet.

Don't worry, they are not gray hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise.

[For over 40s:] Happy birthday! I'm so pleased to hear you're over the hill instead of under it.

By the time you're your age, you've learned everything - you only have to remember it! Many happy returns on your birthday.

I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
~ Mark Twain

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
~ John Grier

Happy 21st again!

If things get better with age, then you're approaching magnificent!


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Happy Birthday Funny Jokes

A collection of happy birthday funny jokes you can send to your friends and family on their birthdays.

How does NASA organise a birthday party? They planet.

What kind of music is scary for birthday balloons? ...pop music!

I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until the doctor advised me to take the candles off first.

I always get this warm feeling on my birthday - people won't stop toasting me.

Why did the teddy bear refuse a slice of birthday cake? He was already stuffed.

You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, "I may as well pee while I'm here."

The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.

The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.

Did you hear about the [insert age] year old who was still cool? Yeah, me neither.

Do you know why candles are always put on top of birthday cakes?
Because it's far too difficult to put them on the bottom.

You know you're old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.

You know you're old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor's office.

You know you're old when you have a party and the neighbours don't even realize.

Did you know that [insert date] is a date when no famous men or women have ever been born? .....None, only babies!


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More Happy Birthday Funny Wishes

Still looking for just the right message? Check out these pages for more funny birthday wishes and quotes:

30th B'day40th B'day50th B'day60th B'dayBirthday WishesImages QuotesWifeHusbandFriendsMomDadAuntieSisterBrotherDaughterSonBelatedBible VerseBirthday Prayers



Shop for funny, dirty, unique greeting cards for adults and get huge laughs. Perfect humorous cards for adults. Send a funny, inappropriate birthday or.

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