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Slogans on birthday wishes
September 10, 2018 Anniversary Wishes 4 comments

Find the best collection of unique Birthday quotes, wishes and messages. Get the Happy Birthday wishes for loved one and celebrate birthday in unique way.

100+ Happy Birthday Funny Wishes, Quotes, Jokes & Images

Looking for Happy Birthday funny wishes, quotes, jokes and images to put a smile on someone's face on their birthday? Whether it's for him or for her, a friend or a colleague, or maybe even a belated birthday wish, we've got you covered with our huge selection of funny birthday wishes.

Write them in birthday cards, send them by SMS or email, or message someone on Facebook or Twitter. No matter how you send one of these funny wishes you're sure to brighten their birthday and make them laugh!

Use these quick-links to jump to a particular section, or scroll down the page to see the entire collection of funny birthday quotes and wishes.

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Last updated: February 19, 2019

For more ideas, take a look at funny birthday cards on Amazon.

Happy Birthday Funny Quotes

A selection of happy birthday funny quotes you can use to wish someone a very happy birthday and poke fun at their age on their birthday. Use them as part of a funny birthday card message, or even as a Facebook caption.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! (But it has also been scientifically proven that too many will kill you.)

Don't let ageing get you down... it's too hard to get back up again!

Middle age... when "happy hour" is a nap!

If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you're a genius!

What goes up but never comes down? Your age.

The tragedy of getting old: So many candles... so little cake.

Technically you're not 50. You're only $49.95, plus tax!

They say you lose your mind as you grow older... what they don't tell you is that you won't miss it much!

Age doesn't make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Chili Davis

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~ Jack Benny

Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art.
~ Stanislaw Lec

Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
~ Helen Hayes

I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.


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Happy Birthday Funny Wishes

Some funny happy birthday wishes and messages you can use in a funny birthday card message to friends or family on their birthday.

I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I'm returning the favor. Happy Birthday!

A wise man once said, "Forget about your past, you cannot change it". I'd like to add: "Forget about your present, I didn't get you one".

Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who's smart and funny and good looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities.

It's your birthday? Let's get up to some mischief!

Funny birthday wishes about getting older:

It's OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.

You know, they say that age is really all in the mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.

Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.

You're how old?! Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.

Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years... wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?

When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
~ Unknown.

You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct!

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

You're not old! ...oh, no wait, actually you are, sorry about that...

Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.

I wouldn't say you're old... you've just been young for longer than most of us.

Don't grow up... It's a trap!

Great news! ...you're still alive!

You've got more than half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome... if you could remember any of it.

You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.

I thought you might need some help with the candles. Happy Birthday!

Personalize these happy birthday funny wishes with the age of the person.

Don't think of it as turning [insert age]. We're here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your [insert age -10]th birthday.

Looking [insert age] is great - if you're sixty.

[For under 40s:] You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!

[insert age]?! I demand a recount!

Congratulations on the 10th anniversary of your [XX]th birthday! Here's to many more.

Happy birthday! And remember you're not [insert age] ...you're 18 with [XX] years' experience.

[Insert age] and still too young to plan your own surprise party!

You're 60? That's only 16 in Celsius. Happy birthday!

Deepest sympathies on your [insert age] birthday.


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Happy Birthday Funny Wishes for Her

A collection of funny happy birthday wishes for your mom, sister, aunt, or female friends.

The secret to staying young is make up... make up an age, then stick with it!

Happy birthday. It took you [insert age] years to look this good!

We'll be friends 'til we're old and senile... and then we'll be new friends!

Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.
~ Anna Magnani

You're the youngest [insert age] year old I know.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

You suck at ageing! Can you at least try to look older?

Those aren't gray hairs you see. They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.


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Happy Birthday Funny Wishes for Him

Happy birthday funny wishes for him, including great messages to wish your dad, brother, uncle, or best buddy a very happy birthday!

If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him.

Happy birthday! Don't forget to iron that birthday suit.

A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.

I don't have birthdays anymore, I level up!

Fill in the gaps: H___Y B__T____ ... nice try- HAIRY BUTTOCKS.

Happy Birthday Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you... but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.

Middle age is when your age begins to show around your middle.
~ Bob Hope

You know you're 40 when your back is hairier than your head.

What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I'll never part with it!

A man has reached middle age when he's warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
~ Henry Youngman


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Happy Birthday Funny Belated Wishes

Oh no! Did you forget their birthday? Apologize with one of these funny belated happy birthday messages. I'm sure it will get you back in their good books...

I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy Belated Birthday!

I'm so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn't think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!

I promise this card isn't late. It is intentionally arriving after your birth-day, because I think you deserve a whole birth-month. Happy Birth-month!

I know you think this card is a few days late. It's actually worse than that. This is your card from 2010 that I only just got around to sending. Happy Belated Birthday!

Happy Birthday! Don't think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here's wishing you a wonderful year ahead!


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Happy Birthday Funny Wishes for Best Friend

Funny birthday wishes to wish your best friend a very happy birthday.

Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It's your birthday, just drink whatever's in the glass!

On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship... and all that stuff that doesn't cost anything.

Just imagine all the things you'd want to hear on your birthday ...and assume I wrote them here!

For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.

At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober.... Disappoint them.

You're older; you're wiser; you're sophisticated. Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents.

At least you're not as old as you'll be this time next year.

If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on Facebook!

A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.

You're turning the perfect age. You're old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more. Happy birthday!

The best part of being over forty is that you did most your stupid stuff before the internet.

Don't worry, they are not gray hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise.

[For over 40s:] Happy birthday! I'm so pleased to hear you're over the hill instead of under it.

By the time you're your age, you've learned everything - you only have to remember it! Many happy returns on your birthday.

I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
~ Mark Twain

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
~ John Grier

Happy 21st again!

If things get better with age, then you're approaching magnificent!


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Happy Birthday Funny Jokes

A collection of happy birthday funny jokes you can send to your friends and family on their birthdays.

How does NASA organise a birthday party? They planet.

What kind of music is scary for birthday balloons? ...pop music!

I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until the doctor advised me to take the candles off first.

I always get this warm feeling on my birthday - people won't stop toasting me.

Why did the teddy bear refuse a slice of birthday cake? He was already stuffed.

You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, "I may as well pee while I'm here."

The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.

The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.

Did you hear about the [insert age] year old who was still cool? Yeah, me neither.

Do you know why candles are always put on top of birthday cakes?
Because it's far too difficult to put them on the bottom.

You know you're old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.

You know you're old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor's office.

You know you're old when you have a party and the neighbours don't even realize.

Did you know that [insert date] is a date when no famous men or women have ever been born? .....None, only babies!


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More Happy Birthday Funny Wishes

Still looking for just the right message? Check out these pages for more funny birthday wishes and quotes:

30th B'day40th B'day50th B'day60th B'dayBirthday WishesImages QuotesWifeHusbandFriendsMomDadAuntieSisterBrotherDaughterSonBelatedBible VerseBirthday Prayers



75 beautiful happy birthday images with quotes for friends and family, him and her, and funny birthday wishes.

50 Funny Birthday Quotes

slogans on birthday wishes

75+ Happy Birthday Images with Quotes & Wishes

Beautiful Happy Birthday images with quotes and wishes to wish your friends and family a fabulous birthday! Our collection includes birthday images for him and for her, "birthday card" style images, funny birthday quotes, belated wishes, and more!

Scroll down the page to see the full collection, or use our quick-links to jump to a particular section of the page.

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Last updated: 29 January 2019

Happy Birthday Images for Him

Need a message for your dad, brother, boyfriend, or best buddy? These happy birthday images have birthday sentiments just for him.

You're not getting older... just more distinguished! Happy Birthday!


Happy birthday to my best buddy! I hope you have a good one.


You know you're getting old when the little old gray-haired lady you helped across the street is your wife. Happy Birthday!


Happy Birthday.


Happy Birthday.


Happy Birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day and that the year ahead is full of fun and adventure.


Happy Birthday.


You're not over the hill. You're simply too old to climb it.
Happy Birthday!


Happy Birthday to you!


Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live!


Happy Birthday to you.


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Happy Birthday Images for Her

Need a birthday message for your mom, sister, girlfriend, or best friend? Here are some beautiful and fun happy birthday images with wishes just for her.

Happy Birthday! Wishing you a beautiful day and many blessings for the year ahead.


Happy Birthday.


Wishing you a very happy birthday! May all your dreams come true.


Happy birthday! I hope you have a fabulous day and be sure to eat an extra slice of cake for me!


Happy Birthday just for you.


Happy birthday! I hope you have a great day today and the year ahead is full of many blessings.


May all your dreams come true. Happy Birthday!


I hope you have a spectacular birthday!


May your birthday be sprinkled with fun and laughter. Have a great day!


It's time to shine!


Congratulations on your birthday! Wishing you a truly fabulous day.


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Happy Birthday Images for Friends

A collection of fun birthday images to wish your friends a very happy birthday!

It's your birthday, let's get up to some mischief!


Happy Birthday to you.


Happy birthday to my best buddy! I hope you have a good one.


Happy birthday to my gorgeous friend! I hope you have a brilliant day.


Happy birthday to my fabulous, witty, kind, brilliant friend. There is no one else I'd rather spend the day with. Let's go celebrate and have some fun!


Happy birthday to my crazy, fun, fabulous best friend! I love you to the moon and back and am so grateful for your friendship and all the fun times we've shared this year. I hope you have a great day!


Happy birthday to such a fabulous friend! Wishing you many blessings for the year ahead.


Congratulations on your birthday! Sending you our love and good wishes.


Happy Birthday! I'm so grateful for your friendship and all the fun times we've had together this year. Here's to many more!


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Beautiful Happy Birthday Images

Here are a selection of beautiful Happy Birthday images with sweet quotes to wish your friends and family all the best for their birthday.

Happy birthday! I hope you have a great day today and the year ahead is full of many blessings.


Wishing you a very happy birthday! May all your dreams come true.


Happy birthday to such a fabulous friend! Wishing you many blessings for the year ahead.


Happy Birthday.


Happy birthday! I hope all your birthday wishes come true!


Happy Birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day and that the year ahead is full of fun and adventure.


Happy birthday to my gorgeous friend! I hope you have a brilliant day.


Happy Birthday.


Happy Birthday.


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Funny Happy Birthday Images

A collection of happy birthday images with a mix of funny messages about ageing, gray hairs, being over the hill, and many more funny messages about getting older. Great for for sending to friends and family on their birthday!

Forget age. If you can still manage to blow out your birthday candles, everything is dandy! Happy Birthday!


Don't let ageing get you down. It's too hard to get up again! Happy Birthday!


I wanted to get you something truly amazing and inspiring for your birthday and then I remembered that you already have me.
Happy Birthday!


You're turning a perfect age. Old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more. Happy Birthday!


You SUCK at aging! Can you at least try to look older? Happy Birthday!


Age is like underwear; it creeps up on you!


Better "over the hill' than under it. Happy Birthday!


Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake!


Don't count your candles. Just enjoy the glow!


Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror!


A wise man once said: "Forget about your past, you cannot change it". I'd like to add: "Forget about your present, I didn't get you one".


Those aren't gray hairs you see. They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head. Happy Birthday!


A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.


This next happy birthday image is overlaid with a short birthday poem that gently teases about age!

Age is just a number,
And yours is rather high.
But don't take it too harshly,
We love you
to the sky!
Happy Birthday!


The tragedy of getting old: So many candles, so little cake!
Happy Birthday!


With age comes the skill of "multi-tasking". Now you can laugh, cough, sneeze, fart, and pee all at the same time!
Happy Birthday!


Don't be upset about your birthday. Just think, you're one year closer to getting the senior citizen discount!


Getting older has some benefits. Call it a "senior moment" and you can get away with pretty much anything!


Don't worry, they are not gray hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise. Happy Birthday!


Congratulations, you've finally reached the "wonder years"! Wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?


I wouldn't say you're old... you've just been young for longer than most of us!
Happy Birthday!


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Happy Birthday Images for Kids

A collection of fun and playful happy birthday images just for kids, including unicorns, cute teddy, and cake!

Happy Birthday.


Happy Birthday!!!


Happy Birthday.


Happy Birthday.


Happy Birthday to you!


Happy Birthday.


Happy Birthday to you.


Happy Birthday.


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Belated Happy Birthday Image Quotes

Oh no, you forgot their birthday?! These apologetic belated birthday greetings should help get you back in their good books!

Happy belated Birthday! I'm so sorry I forgot, but how do you expect me to remember your birthday if you never look any older?


I'm sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that if you forget mine next year I'll forgive you! Happy belated Birthday!


HBBD!
That stands for Happy Belated Birthday!
Love, YTDF
(Your Terribly Disorganized Friend)


I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy belated Birthday!


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Happy Birthday Images with Quotes

A collection of happy birthday images with a mix of funny and wise quotes about ageing and birthdays.

Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.
~ Chili Davis


Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~ Mark Twain


As men get older, the toys get more expensive.
~ Marvin Davis


Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
~ Helen Hayes


Age is a matter of feeling, not of year.
~ George William Curtis


A man has reached middle age when he's warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police
~ Henry Youngman


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More Happy Birthday Wishes, Quotes & Messages...

If you're looking for a specific birthday message for someone in particular, or a certain style of message, then take a look at these other birthday wishes articles:

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Homemade Gifts Made Easy

slogans on birthday wishes

Looking for inspirational birthday quotes?

It is always fun to celebrate birthdays, as well as to think about the many things that have been said about or that relate to them. Aside from getting wiser, one can delight in good food and good company.

Here are some awesome birthday quotes to liven up your big day, and perhaps even share with family and friends.

Famous Birthday Quotes Celebrating Life

Since first reading Dr. Seuss, my favorite birthday quote has been:

1.) “Today you are You; that is truer than true.

There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”  – Dr. Seuss

Getting older (and hopefully wiser), we face old age, our senior years. Perhaps Emily Dickinson has the right idea:

2.) “We turn not older with years, but newer every day” – Emily Dickinson

Sam Hagar reinforced this idea saying:

3.) “Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.” – Sam Hagar

Can we live with that idea? Here’s what I always say:

4.) “Wow, thank you Lord for another great chance to make a difference.”

Yes, I am grateful that I’m still alive. But life isn’t forever, so remember:

5.) “Live as if you were to die tomorrow.

Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Henry Ford agreed:

6.) “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80.

Anyone who keeps learning stays young.

The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young”. – Henry Ford

Band leader, Les Brown emphasized:

7.) “You’re never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream” – Les Brown

George Eliot said:

8.) “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

While I was still in school, I had to read writings by ancient philosophers. I never thought they were relevant to me. As another birthday approaches, I’ve looked at some of those words of wisdom, re-evaluating their relevance.

Perhaps they are things that I’ve learned to live by, to accept – and yes – use as birthday quotes:

9.) “God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to

give ourselves the gift of living well,” – Voltaire

A great birthday quote by William Shakespeare’s is:

10.) “With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.” – William Shakespeare

Inspirational Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Mark Twain agreed,

11.) “Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.” – Mark Twain

Certainly some good things to remember as we celebrate birthdays! Samuel Ullman said:

12.) “Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Samuel Ullman

At birthday gatherings you also might also want to quote:

13.) “Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words,” – Plautus

14.) “Man’s main task in life is to give birth to himself,

to become what he potentially is,” – E. Fromm

15.) “Age is opportunity no less than youth itself,” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

16.) “Happiness is when what you think, what you say,

and what you do are in harmony,” – Mahatma Gandhi

Or you might hear:

17.) “I’m like a fine wine. They don’t bring me out very much

But, I am well preserved,” – Rose Kennedy

18.) “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,

But beautiful old people are works of art,” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Of course in discussing getting older, other pearls of wisdom are shared:

19.) “The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune,” – English Proverb

20.) “None are as old as those who have outlived enthusiasm,” – Henry David Thoreau

Birthday Quotes and sayings to uplift you

21.) “It’s not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old,

They grow old because they stop pursuing dreams,” – Gabriel G. Marquez

Another great birthday quote, this one by a comedian is:

22.) “Age is strictly a case of mind over matter.

If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter,” – Jack Benny

Another by George Burns is,

23.) “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” – George Burns

With laughter, Bob Hope said,

24.) “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope

Who would want to fix things?

25.) “If we could be twice young and twice old,

we could correct all our mistakes,” – Euripides

For those with a strong belief in God:

26.) “Our life is a gift from the Creator. Your gift back to the Creator is what you do with your life,” – Billy Mills

Hearts are always mentioned with birthdays:

27.) “Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty –

They merely move it from their faces into their hearts,” – Martin Buxbaum

28.) “The heart of the giver makes the gift dear and precious,” – Martin Luther
Some U.S. Presidents have made some birthday quotes:

29.) “Be sure you put your feet in the right place,
then stand firm,” – Lincoln

30.) “Whatever you are, be a good one.” – Lincoln

Happy Birthday Quotes that will make your day

31.) “Let us seek the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past.

Let us accept our own responsibility for the future,” – Kennedy

Words of wisdom for aging from Confucius:

32.) “Study the past if you would define the future!”

33.) “It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, so long as you don’t stop.”

34.) “Choose a job you love.You will never have to work a day in your life.”

35.) “The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.”

As we grow older, may we remember these wise quotes:

35.) “It is not the strongest of the species that survive
But the one most responsive to change,” – Darwin

36.) “It’s the mark of an educated mind to be able to
entertain a thought without accepting it,” – Aristotle

37.) “Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving,” – Einstein

38.) “Obstacles are those frightful things you see
when you take your eyes off the goal,” – Henry Ford

39.) “Don’t celebrate how old you are,
celebrate the years you survived.” – Touaxia Vang

40.) “Don’t anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen,” – Ben Franklin

Happy Birthday Quotes and Wishes to make you strong

41.) “Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.” – C.S. Lewis

42.) “Count your age by friends, not years, your life by smiles, not tears.” – John Lennon

43.) “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” – Tolkien

So, as we all age – day by day, and as I pray I get to reach 70 in a couple of years, I often repeat this quote:

44.) “I don’t mind getting older; it’s a privilege denied to so many!” ― Chris Geiger, ‘The Cancer Survivors Club’

45.) “A birthday is the anniversary of your birth. It’s the time most of us reflect over the past year and what we hope for in the coming year.” – Claudia T Hudson

46.) “Today is the oldest you have been, and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!” – Nicky Gumbel

47.) “There are two attitudes you can have when it comes to your birthday:
1. be thankful you have lived another year.
or, 2. complain about being a year older.” – Catherine Pulsifer

48.) “When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.” – Cherokee Expression

49.) “Your age isn’t you. Use today to feel your best, celebrate and be your very happiest.” – M. Rivers

50.) “A birth-date is a reminder to celebrate the life as well as to update the life.” – Amit Kalantri

More birthday quotes for friends, family and loved ones

51.) “A birthday is not a day to fear. It is a day to celebrate and look forward to the coming year.” – Byron Pulsifer

52.) “Birthdays are inevitable, beautiful and very particular moments in our lives! Moments that bring precious memories back, celebrate the present times and give hope for the future.” – Bsbr Arish

53.) “Your birthday is my pleasure. You are my sweetest treasure.” – Danny Demeersseman

54.) “We have to be able to grow up. Our wrinkles are our medals of the passage of life. They are what we have been through and who we want to be.” – Lauren Hutton

55.) “Your birthday is the beginning of your own personal new year. Your first birthday was a beginning, and each new birthday is a chance to begin again, to start over, to take a new grip on life.” – Wilfred Peterson

56.) “I enjoy celebrating birthdays. Everyone should have their birthday celebrated.” – Loraine D. Nunley

57.) “May your years be counted not by your age
but by how you spend your days.” – Catherine Pulsifer

58.) “Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.” – Jean Paul Richter

59.) “Birthdays come but once a year, celebrate and be of good cheer.” Robert Rivers

60.) “Each year as our birthday comes, our thoughts and beliefs may change a bit from year to year. But believe our wish for you is always the same, may you find happiness and blessings all of your days!” – Catherine Pulsifer

Did you find your favorite birthday quotes here?

Birthdays are special days – not only to celebrate among people we love, but also to remind us of how far we’ve come in life. During this occasion, keep these beautiful quotes handy as a gift to yourself.

"You'll never be too old to be my friend." This is a huge list of 120 things to write in a birthday card. These include inspirational, funny, and sincere messages.

50+ Excellent Happy Birthday To Me Quotes & Images

slogans on birthday wishes

Choosing a birthday card is just half the battle; now you have to think of something funny to write inside. We’ve scoured the internet, searched our own cards and trawled thousands of ideas to bring you a list of the 69 funniest things you can say inside your card. From the rude and offensive to the cheeky and light-hearted messages, simply choose your favourite and pass it off as your own. You’re welcome!

General Funny Birthday Wishes

1. I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!
2. Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
3. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
4. May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care less about.
5. On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high, and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there.
6. You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
7. Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
8. If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!
9. Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!
10. It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
11. Right, let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night 😉
12. Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
13. Congratulations on getting slightly older!
14. Well done – you have still been alive for several years!

Old Age Jokes

1. Happy birthday – I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me 
2. Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!
3. Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…
4. If you look back through all the years you’ve lived, the first thing you’ll notice is that you need a telescope.
5. Happy birthday – So far, this is the oldest you’ve ever been!
6. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year… if you make it!
7. If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!
8. Yes, we have reached that age… when every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age’. You’re still looking great though… for your age!
9. As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
10. Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake.
11. We all knew this day was coming. It’s best to just suck it up and accept it’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public.
12. Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!
13. I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now… you’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.
14. Just remember the more candles on the cake, the bigger the cake you’ll get! Now who’s laughing?
15. Another year older and you’re one step closer to getting those Velcro shoes!
16. Remember that age is just a number… just a really, REALLY high one in your case!
17. I regret to inform you that your childhood has EXPIRED.

Rude Birthday Messages

1. Happy birthday! Let’s celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else’s bed…
2. I hope you have a happy annual celebration of escaping from your mum’s uterus. I wish that you may never again have to return to your dark underwater prison.
3. Birthdays are like bogeys. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
4. I hope your birthday is better than walking through a fart with your mouth open.
5. Since it’s your birthday, I’ll let you leave the lights on.
6. May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows.
7. I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world, naked and screaming!
8. Some say that age is just a number. I say that’s bullsh**. I mean, you’re getting really old. Happy birthday anyway.
9. Happy birthday… congratulations on now being of the age where understand the horror of waking yourself up with your own fart!
10. You might be old, but you’re still a d***.
11. Older and wiser… but still a bit of a pr***.
12. I didn’t know where to start on your birthday present so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours I found some really good stuff. But then I remembered I was supposed to be finding you a birthday present and it was too late. Sorry!
13. Have a mucking farvellous birthday!
14. Some things are better with age. Too bad you aren’t one of them.

Sarcastic Birthday Messages

1. You’re the least famous person I know of who was born on your birthday.
2. I couldn’t think of a message that would make you laugh for your birthday card… you’re too boring…
3. I hope your birthday is better than the card I sent you…
4. Seriously, I don’t know how many more of your birthdays I can handle.
5. Another year older… and you still can’t grow a beard.
6. If I made fun of how many years old you are, it would be beyond funny.
7. Getting someone as awesome as me to send a birthday message to you, has undoubtedly been your biggest achievement this year.
8. Congratulations on being a year older and still maintaining such a low level of maturity; you are truly an inspiration.
9. Happy birthday! Here is a piece of card to show you how little I care…
10. What are you so happy about? It’s your birthday and you are going to have to spend a lot of money to keep us happy. At least have fun doing it!
11. Life was meant to be celebrated more often than just one day a year. Man, you’re missing opportunities the other 364 days!
12. I decided to keep having birthdays because it beats the alternative… Death.

Belated Birthday Wishes

1. I know you had lots of birthday wishes yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? Me, that’s who. Happy belated birthday!
2. I’m sorry my birthday wishes are belated—I honestly didn’t think you’d live this long. Happy birthday!
3. Sorry I wasn’t there with you to mourn the loss of your youth. Happy birthday!
4. It’s not your fault, buddy. No one can help the fact that you’re growing old, and that I totally forgot… Happy belated birthday!
5. You’re amazing, wise, super cool, fantastic, brilliant, intelligent – but don’t get too excited. I’m only saying all these things because I’m a couple of days late! Happy birthday!
6. It wasn’t my fault… Facebook forgot to remind me about your birthday!
7. It’s so tough to believe that you are getting older, that I decided to wish you happy birthday late this year.
8. Sorry I missed your birthday… hopefully you’ll have another one next year…

Funny Birthday Quotes

1. Two things that are inevitable for any living person are birthdays and taxes.
2. Birthdays are like cheese. They stink more the older they get.
3. Aging is the worst side effect of birthdays.
4. There’s really only one true birthday. The rest are simply anniversaries of the day of a person’s birth.
5. Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.
6. The old pessimist focuses on his growing number. The old optimist focuses on his growing blessings.
7. Getting older is just part of life… and the other parts are even worse.
8. The older you get, the more disoriented your hair gets. Once it leaves your head, it seems to get lost.

If you are looking for a funny birthday card, browse through our funny birthday cards range.

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