No sickness can keep you down with all the prayers I offer for your . Sending you well wishes for your quick recovery and good health.
Health and wellness touch everyone’s life differently. This is one person’s story.
A few months ago, when the cold air hit Boston at the beginning of fall, I started to feel more severe symptoms of my genetic connective tissue disorder, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS).
Pain all over my body, especially in my joints. Fatigue that was sometimes so sudden and so overwhelming that I’d fall asleep even after getting 10 hours of quality rest the night before. Cognitive problems that left me struggling to remember basic things, like the rules of the road and how to send an email.
I was telling a friend about it and she said, “I hope you feel better soon!”
EDS isn’t defined as a progressive condition in the classical sense, like multiple sclerosis and arthritis often are.
But it is a lifelong condition, and many people experience symptoms that worsen with age as collagen and connective tissue in the body weakens.
The reality is that I’m not going to get any better. I may find treatment and lifestyle changes that improve my quality of life, and I’ll have good and bad days.
I know it can be challenging to navigate conversations with someone close to you who has a disability or chronic illness. You want to wish them well, because that’s what we’re taught is the polite thing to say. And you sincerely hope that they get “better,” because you care about them.
Not to mention, our social scripts are filled with get well messages.
There are entire sections of greeting cards for sending someone the message that you hope they’ll “feel better” soon.
These messages work really well in acute situations, when someone is temporarily sick or injured and expects to completely recover in weeks, months, or even years.
But for those of us who aren’t in that situation, hearing “get well soon” can do more harm than good.
I knew that my disabilities were lifelong but I’d internalized the “get well” script so deeply that I imagined I’d wake up someday — at 22 or 26 or 30 — and be able to do all the things my friends and peers could do easily.
I’d work 40 hours or more in an office without needing to take long breaks or getting sick regularly. I’d race down a crowded staircase to catch the subway without even holding the handrails. I’d be able to eat whatever I wanted without worrying about the ramifications of being horribly ill for days after.
When I was out of college, I quickly realized this wasn’t true. I still struggled to work in an office, and needed to leave my dream job in Boston to work from home.
I still had a disability — and I know now that I always will.
Once I realized I wasn’t going to get better, I could finally work toward accepting that — living my best life within my body’s limits.
Sometimes it can be easier to throw positive platitudes and well wishes at a situation. Truly empathizing with someone who’s going through a really difficult time — whether that’s a disability or the loss of a loved one or surviving trauma — is hard to do.
Empathizing requires us to sit with someone where they are, even if the place they are is dark and terrifying. Sometimes, it means sitting with the discomfort of knowing you can’t “fix” things.
But truly hearing someone can be more meaningful than you’d think.
When someone listens to my fears — like how I worry about my disability getting worse and all the things I might not be able to do anymore — being witnessed in that moment is a powerful reminder that I’m seen and loved.
I don’t want someone to try and cover up the messiness and the vulnerability of the situation or my emotions by telling me that things will be okay. I want them to tell me that even when things aren’t okay, they’re still there for me.
What do I really want?
I want them to let me explain the challenges I’ve had receiving treatment without offering me unsolicited advice.
Offering me advice when I haven’t asked for it just sounds like you’re saying, “I don’t want to hear about your pain. I want you to do more work to make it better so we don’t have to talk about this anymore.”
I want them to tell me that I’m not a burden if my symptoms get worse and I have to cancel plans, or use my cane more. I want them to say that they’ll support me by making sure our plans are accessible — by always being there for me even if I can’t do the same things I used to do.
People with disabilities and chronic illnesses are constantly reframing our definitions of wellness and what it means to feel better. It helps when the people around us are willing to do the same thing.
Normalize asking the question: “How can I support you right now?” And check in about what approach makes the most sense in a given moment.
“Would you like me to just listen? Do you want me to empathize? Are you looking for advice? Would it help if I were also mad about the same things you are?”
As an example, my friends and I will often make designated time where all of us can just get our feelings out — no one will offer advice unless it’s asked for, and we’ll all empathize instead of offering platitudes like “Just keep looking on the bright side!”
Setting aside the time to talk about our hardest emotions also helps us stay connected on a deeper level, because it gives us a dedicated space to be honest and raw about our feelings without worrying that we’ll be dismissed.
That’s why when my fiancée comes home from work after a rough day, for example, I make sure I ask her exactly that.
Sometimes we open up a space for her to vent about what was hard, and I just listen. Sometimes I’ll echo her anger or discouragement, offering the affirmation she needs.
Other times, we ignore the entire world, make a blanket fort, and watch “Deadpool.”
If I’m sad, whether it’s because of my disability or just because my cat is ignoring me, that’s all I want — and all anyone wants, really: To be heard and supported in a way that says, “I see you, I love you, and I’m here for you.”
Alaina Leary is an editor, social media manager, and writer from Boston, Massachusetts. She's currently the assistant editor of Equally Wed Magazine and a social media editor for the nonprofit We Need Diverse Books.
Don't forget to send your get well soon wishes to him or her along with a nice Is your friend ill at home or in a hospital? We all send our best prayers to you, and want you to know that you are greatly missed! There is nothing that can help to restore someone back to health than fresh blooming flowers.
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If you are writing a card when sending a gift to someone with a seriousillness you may want to send a comforting thought with it. Following are some things to think about and some examples of things to say.
Whether you are sending a card, a gift, or an email, sometimes it is hard to know what to say. You don't want to use clichés or upset the ill person more. A few choice words can really brighten a person's day and perhaps, if they are seriously ill, can give them hope of recovery.
Here are some appropriate words for a serious illness card that say "I am thinking of you":
The following quotes are a bit more philosophical and may help the seriously ill person deal with his illness. They will provide encouragement as well as comfort.
Here are some thoughts that may help you write a good letter or email. You want to let them know that you are thinking about them and give them hope, comfort, and encouragement:
Now that you have some ideas of appropriate words for a serious illness card or letter, you may want to send or take a gift. Gift stores or floral shops have a collection of mugs, stuffed animals, plaques, or figurines that sometimes have inspirational words on them.
If the person has a terminal illness, you may consider talking to family members and friends and putting together a scrapbook of the person's life. Not only would it give the person some memories to enjoy, but is something visitors could look at with him or her, as it is sometimes hard to think of things to say.
Should the ill person be looking at a long recovery or hospital stay, a well-chosen gift would be very appreciated. For example:
Whether you decide to send a card, a letter, an email or a gift, the important thing to remember is that you want to send a message of friendship and love.
YourDictionary definition and usage example. Copyright © 2018 by LoveToKnow Corp
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I'll text to see about a good time to come over.” “You're going to beat this “For now, let somebody else do all the doing. I'd love to bring over some .. One of the best things you can do is send them a get well soon message. Here are some.
If your friend or relative is feeling unwell, or staying in the hospital, the best thing you can do – apart from visiting them – sends a little Get well soon card or a small gift to let them know that they are in your thoughts and that you are wishing them quick recovery.
Beautiful get well soon flowers are available at SerenataFlowers.com and as for the card, there are over 40 ideas for getting Well Soon Quotes and messages:
sources: wishesmessages.com and wishesgreeting.com
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Lily Calyx is our in-house flower whisperer, an expert on all things botanical and an enthusiastic orchids collector. She loves discussing the insights of the secret world of flowers, shares her gardening tips and hacks and moons over the latest additions to Serenata Flowers flower range. Ask Lily anything about flowers and we can guarantee she will have the answer.
Let me convey my best wishes and quick recovery from your illness soonest possible my Sending you well wishes for your quick recovery and good health. I'm telling you, this [ injury/disease picked the wrong person to have a fight with!.