Sarcastic wisdom quotes

Sarcasm Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old sarcasm quotes, sarcasm sayings, and sarcasm proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Recently, Larry posted an interesting (and inspirational) post over at Search Engine Journal that collected 19 quotes about digital marketing from some of the best-known names in the business. All of Larry’s chosen quotes were taken from Twitter, digital marketers’ favorite social network. Even in just 140 characters, there was a lot to learn from Larry’s list.

In the time-honored tradition of embarking upon a long pilgrimage to seek wisdom and enlightenment from the masters, I set out to find my own nuggets of digital marketing wisdom, not all of which were culled from Twitter.

Behold! Another 23 quotes (I couldn’t stop at just 19, as some of these were too good not to share) that will help you become a better digital marketer and maybe, just maybe, a better person – and isn’t that what the holiday season is all about?

On Marketing

23. “Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart.” – Joe Chernov

Image via Pardot

22. “Even when you are marketing to your entire audience or customer base, you are still simply speaking to a single human at any given time.” – Ann Handley

21. “As marketers, we should be changing the mantra from always be closing to always be helping.” – Jonathan Lister<<CLICK TO TWEET THIS!>>

20. “Just because you can measure everything doesn’t mean that you should.” – W. Edward Deming

19. “I am all for conversations, but you need to have a message.” – Renee Blodgett

18. “Take two ideas and put them together to make one new idea. After all, what is a Snuggie but a mutation of a blanket and a robe?” – Jim Kukral

Image via HubSpot

On Social Media

17. “Social media allows big companies to act small again.” – Jay Baer

16. “The best way to engage honestly with the marketplace via Twitter is to never use the words ‘engage,’ ‘honestly’ or ‘marketplace.’” – Jeffrey Zeldman

15. “Put your energy into making things that are likeable, not some douchey social media strategy.” – Matthew Inman, AKA The Oatmeal

Image via The Oatmeal

On Business

14. “Clients don’t care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby.” – Tim Williams

13. “Martin Luther King did not say ‘I have a mission statement.’” – Simon Sinek<<CLICK TO TWEET THIS!>>

12. “Holding back technology to preserve broken business models is like allowing blacksmiths to veto the internal combustion engine in order to protect their horseshoes.” – Don Tapscott and Anthony D. Williams

On Content

11. “You can’t expect to just write and have visitors come to you – that’s too passive.” – Anita Campbell

10. “Focus on the core problem your business solves and put out lots of content and enthusiasm and ideas about how to solve that problem.” – Laura Fitton

9. “Content is the atomic particle of all digital marketing.” – Rebecca Lieb<<CLICK TO TWEET THIS!>>

8. “You can’t sell anything if you can’t tell anything.” Beth Comstock

7. “Branded content is created for a company. A content brand is created for a valuable company.” – Drew Davis

6. “Content is the reason search began in the first place.” – Lee Odden<<CLICK TO TWEET THIS!>>

On Advertising

5. “Search marketing, and most Internet marketing in fact, can be very threatening because there are no rules. There’s no safe haven. To do it right, you need to be willing to be wrong. But search marketing done right is all about being wrong. Experimentation is the only way.” – Mike Moran

4. “It’s much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic.” – Bryan Eisenberg

3. “Never let ads write checks your website can’t cash.” – Avinash Kaushik

2. “It’s hard to target a message to a generic 35-year-old middle-class working mother of two. It’s much easier to target a message to Jennifer, who has two children under four, works as a paralegal, and is always looking for quick but healthy dinners and ways to spend more time with her kids and less time on housework.” – Elizabeth Gardner

1. “If you build it… you may still need Google AdWords.” – Jennifer Mesenbrink<<CLICK TO TWEET THIS!>>

Dear minions,

As an evil overlord, it’s important to have a set of quotes handy at all times in order to out-duel an adversary in a verbal showdown of wits.

Bookmark this page, more quotes are added nefariously!

Approximately 107 Sarcastic, Ironic & Witty Quotes

• Those who laugh last think slowest.
• Whoever said nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
• Save a tree, eat a beaver! Hurray for Earth Day!
• If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
• Let’s share, You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.
• Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
• You never learn anything by doing it right.



• The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
• Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.
• Don’t take life so seriously, it isn’t permanent.
• Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
• In the end everything we do, is just everything we’ve done.
• Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?
• Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot…
• If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
• I’ve lowered my expectations to the point where they’ve already been met!
• Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go.
• Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.



• Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.
• I can resist everything except temptation.
• A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
• A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
• A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
• Corduroy pillows are making headlines!
• Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
• Every calendars days are numbered.
• A backward poet writes inverse.
• Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery…
• Dijon vu — the same mustard as before.
• If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
• When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
• When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
• Without geometry, life is pointless.
• A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.



• In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
• She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
• Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I’ll show you A flat minor.
• The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large…

More Quotes!

Wouldn’t it be great if this post ended with links to a whole bunch of other awesome articles full of quotes? Well now it does!

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