http://www.crossculture.com/ Gus Lubin's articles published in collaboration with Richard Lewis [on communication, leadership, and culture].
Sheriff of Rottingham : Sire, I have news!
Prince John : And what sort of news do you have? It's not bad news, is it? You know I can't take bad news. The day started out so good. I had a good night's sleep, I had a good B.M. I don't want to hear any bad news. So, what kind of news is it?
Sheriff of Rottingham : Well, to be perfectly frank, it's bad.
Prince John : [shouts] I knew it! I knew it would be bad news. Wait, I have an idea. Maybe if you tell me the *bad* news in a *good* way, it wouldn't sound so bad.
Sheriff of Rottingham : [thinking] The bad news in a good way. Yes, I can do that. The bad news in a good way. Well, here it goes.
Sheriff of Rottingham : W-wait till you hear this! I just saw Robin of Locksley, he's back from the crusades.
Sheriff of Rottingham : You know, he just beat the *crap* out of me and my men.
Sheriff of Rottingham : He hates you and he loves your brother, Richard!
Sheriff of Rottingham : And...
Sheriff of Rottingham : ... he wants to see you hanged!
Sheriff of Rottingham : We, we're in a lot of trouble!
[laughs and snorts loudly]
Prince John : [furious] What, are you crazy? Why are you laughing? This is terrible news!
Funny quotes from Richard Lewis. When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life. Richard Lewis · love quotes short quotes sarcastic.
John Hubert Richard Lewis known as Richard Lewis is a British Anglican bishop. Born in 1943 he was educated at Radley College and King's College London. Ordained as deacon in 1967 and as priest one year later, Lewis was curate of Hexham, Newcastle from 1967 to 1970. He was Industrial Chaplain from 1970 to 1977 and Communications Officer in Durham from 1977 to 1982. Between 1982 and 1987, he was Chaplain for Agriculture in Hereford, and between 1987 and 1992 Archdeacon of Ludlow. Lewis was consecrated as Suffragan Bishop of Taunton in 1992, and held this post until 1997, when he was appointed 9th Bishop of Edmundsbury and Ipswich. He was a member of the House of Lords from 2002-2007. He retired in June 2007
Charles Fane de Salis • George Arthur Hollis • Harry Thomas • Mark Allin Hodson • Francis Horner West • Peter Nott • Nigel McCulloch • William Stewart • Andrew Radford • Peter Maurice •
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Comedians Larry David and Richard Lewis share a bromance. They were born three days apart on the same floor of the same hospital in Brooklyn, and they met each other at age 12 when they were attending the same summer camp in upstate New York. They reconnected as rising comics on the 70s stand-up circuit and have been close friends ever since, with Lewis having appeared frequently on David’s HBO series, Curb Your Enthusiasm. (Lewis will play a psychiatrist this summer on Seth MacFarlane’s Starz comedy show, Blunt Talk.) The following appreciation is adapted from Larry David’s foreword to Lewis’s new volume of collected nuggets of wisdom, Reflections from Hell, illustrated by Carl Nicholas Titolo (Powerhouse Books), out next month.
Here’s a good piece of advice: If you should ever have the misfortune of crossing paths with Richard Lewis, do not—I repeat, DO NOT—give him your personal information. No address, phone number, e-mail—especially e-mail. Nothing! If he asks you for it (and he will) and you can’t think of a quick excuse, just say no, you’d rather not. Be prepared, though—he’ll be hurt. He’ll tell you he’s devastated. He loves that word. He uses it a lot. That’s how he got me to write this [foreword to his new book]. He asked me, I turned him down, and he told me he was devastated. In a moment of weakness, I caved. So stay strong. Don’t succumb. Because, if you do, your life will never be the same.
You’ll wake up every morning to a barrage of e-mails. It’s actually the closest thing to spam that’s not spam. You’ll get constant updates as to what he’s doing and with whom he’s doing it. Press clippings, reviews, tweets, aphorisms, and ruminations on his life and death. And what you perceive to be private e-mails will have actually been copied to 50 other people. All in all, you’ll begin to dread that little bell going off on your phone. You will conveniently forget to charge it and start leaving it at home.
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There are also calls—lots of them. Within a week or two, mark my words, he will turn you into a screener. He knows this, which is why he changed to “Unknown Number.” Well, it’s not unknown anymore. It’s him. If you don’t take the call—and I urge you not to—he will then leave a message, which will be so long that he will invariably get cut off, at which point he will call you back and very likely get cut off again. Soon your voice-mail box will be filled up and you won’t be able to get any messages, even important ones. Knowing him could cost you a job, a relationship, and quite possibly your life.
Many of these messages will be him badgering you to get together. When you finally give in—and very few humans can resist the onslaught—you will receive another bombardment of calls and e-mails, reminding you of date, time, and place. You’ll assure him you’ve already confirmed this multiple times, and then a few hours later … voilà!
When you do finally meet, a few things will become apparent during your encounter. First is his excessive use of the word “shrink,” which he uses as often as teens use the word “like.” It’s almost a tic. It will also dawn on you, perhaps during dessert, that you haven’t uttered a word. Maybe a few “uh-huh”s, but that’s it. And make sure to get extra napkins because he’ll be using yours to write down new jokes, which occur with an almost alarming rapidity. Often you will notice he’ll be staring at you with an odd look, until you realize he isn’t really looking at you but at his reflection in the window behind you. You and all you possess, especially your clothing, will be mocked relentlessly and unmercifully, and when he leaves, you will be exhausted and will want to go right to bed. You will not be able to read or even watch television. I might add that you will also laugh. Possibly harder than you’ve ever laughed before. You will be in awe of how his synapses fire, how he observes life around him, how his brain sorts and compiles all the images it takes in. You might also notice how kind and sweet and generous he is.
Reflections from Hell: Richard Lewis’ Guide on How Not to Live, by Richard Lewis; illustrations by Carl Nicholas Titolo; foreword by Larry David; edited and with a preface by Christopher Murray; to be published next month by Powerhouse Books; © 2015 by the author.
Discover 44 Richard Lewis Quotations: Richard Lewis: 'Most Texans think Hanukkah Richard Lewis Quotes about: People. Author Richard Lewis. Richard Lewis. Comedian. Richard Philip Lewisis an American stand-up comedian and actor.
What the fuck is that? He's like a mime or some shit?
Richard: What's half a double D?
Larry: B...plus. No, B minus. Minus is closer to the D. What's closer to the D? The minus or the plus?
Richard: How did you see a small mole from where you were sitting?
Larry: Well I have breast vision.
Richard: A lot of people call me who are suicidal.
Larry: I don't think you'd be my suicide call.
(on a black basketball player's penis) They could put the Chicago fire out with this.
(sarcastic) For the first time in a century, tell me something that's really bugging you.
Larry: I changed my mind. I'd like to get it back.
Richard Lewis: You can't be an East Indian-giver.
Larry: You gotta get a shot and stick it in her ass.
Richard: She's not a racehorse.
Larry: You gotta get a shot of Benadryl while she's sleeping, or shove it down her throat.
Richard Lewis: Like a hitman? A Benedryl hitman?
Yeah, know what would match her head? A dress made of turnips and blood.
Richard: This is my 28th therapist since 1969. I don't want any more. I don't want to break the record.
Larry: The recap is very hard, isn't it? Your recap is two, three months, isn't it?
Richard: "Two, three months?" That's just the crib!
You sounded like, like, christ, Pat Buchanan's gym partner
A great memorable quote from the Curb Your Enthusiasm movie on Quotes.net - Richard Lewis: Ya f***ed it up! You don't know how to use a goddamn cell.