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Retirement thoughts and wishes

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Retirement thoughts and wishes
June 10, 2019 Anniversary Wishes No comments

Happy Retirement Messages Wishing you all the joy and happiness that a I thought you retired several years ago, you are just finally making it official just now.

Funny Retirement Wishes: Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech? This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about everyone including teachers, professors, doctors, engineers, IT guys, nurses, accountants, business executives or even the friendly oldie working at the neighborhood supermarket. Read them and think of how you can infuse humor in your greetings. Whether it is for your colleagues, bosses, dad, mom, friends or someone in the family – make sure your witty lines put a smile on the new retiree’s face. Don’t forget to share your words on Facebook and Pinterest.

 

1) Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. Congratulations.

 

2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder – are you still looking forward to retirement? Congratulations.

 

3) The funny thing about retirement is that it makes you realize the importance of medical insurance.

 

4) Do you think that life after retirement is an adventure? Well, it is if you count trekking out of bed, climbing atop sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.

 

5) After retirement the body grows older, the heart grows fonder and the mind becomes younger. All the best at trying to handle an old body with a young mind and fond heart.

6) Retirement is the only thing that will make you realize how you wasted all these years trying to be mature when you can get back to being a child at the end of it all. Have fun.

 

 

7) Remember all those things that you wanted to do in your life, but didn’t because you never had the time? Don’t plan on doing them after your retirement either – you will either be too old or too poor to afford them now. Wish you a happy retirement.

 

8) Thankfully, retirement is mandatory and not an option. Otherwise I would be stuck with an annoying colleague like you. xoxo

 

9) Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.

 

10) Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up and can’t stay up all night even if you want to. So in short, it is boring. Congratulations.

11) Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except that you are no longer fit to do most of the fun stuff. Congratulations.

 

12) All your life you sacrificed your health so you could earn more money to retire happily. Now you’ll realize that you’ll be spending all the money to keep up your health. Congratulations.

 

13) Most people spend their whole lives planning their retirement but when they actually retire, they don’t know what to do. Don’t let this happen to you.

 

14) Congratulations on your retirement but don’t get too eager to relax yet. Get ready to tire yourself out with grandkids, gardening and many other chores.

 

15) No matter how many college degrees, skill development courses and professional accreditations you have received, there is one more qualification you will still receive after your retirement – Master of Doing Nothing. Congratulations.

16) Retirement is just a nice way for your company to say that you are getting too old to work. Congratulations for stepping into this league, old timer.

 

17) Doing the things you always wanted to do is not the real challenge of retirement. Remembering them is the real challenge. Good luck at being a forgetful pensioner.

 

18) Reaching retirement age is like getting to the top of a cliff. You will be at the zenith of your career, well knowing that the next step is a downward plunge toward old age. Good luck.

 

19) Some people say that retirement signifies the end of all of life’s tension, but that’s true only if you have a grand pension.

 

20) Retirement is just a nice way for the company to tell you that they have found more energetic, talented, youthful and skilled staff than you. Happy retirement.

21) For someone as lazy as you, retirement will make no difference in your life except the fact that you can now do nothing, officially. Congratulations.

 

22) Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time and it’s called – Doing Nothing.

 

23) Until now, when you slacked at work your boss shouted at you. Now when you slack at household chores, your wife will shout at you. Happy retirement.

 

24) Was working hard all your life worth it? You are about to realize that now. Congratulations on retiring.

 

25) All these years you argued with your colleagues, juniors, managers and your boss at work. After retirement, you will argue with your grandkids, children and wife at home. Life remains the same.

26) It doesn’t matter whether you behave like a grumpy retiree or not, because people are going to assume that anyways. Good luck dealing with that.

 

27) Consider yourself officially and truly retired on the day you don’t feel like changing your underwear. Good luck.

 

28) Retirement is the turning point in your life which makes you realize that you had your priorities messed up all this while. Congratulations, better late than never.

 

29) Retirement marks the transition from working under one boss to a new one called WIFE. Congratulations.

 

30) Health, family, friends and relationships are some of the things that you sacrificed in your life so that you could work harder and earn more money. Now you will realize that you need these things to enjoy retirement. Such is the irony of life.

31) Retirement – the only real excuse you’ll ever have to spend your entire life’s savings. Have fun.

 

32) Retirement is said to be the slow and painful lead up to the sunset years of your life. Have fun old timer.

 

33) Retirement is a fence – on one side lies hard work and on the other lies boredom. Either ways, it’s no fun.

 

34) Retirement is like a bubble that burst just when you think you are at the zenith of your career. Good luck buddy.

 

35) Retirement is the company way of indirectly telling you that it has no more use of an old and lazy bum like you. Goodbye.

36) Retirement is life’s way of telling you that you are too old and too weak to work any longer. Congratulations.

 

37) Being retired is the only time in your life when you won’t mind if you don’t get a holiday. Have fun.

 

38) Every day of your retired life will feel like a happy Friday night. But it’s useless because being old will make you feel dull like Monday morning all the time. Happy retirement.

 

39) You always cursed your body when you were ill which made you miss an important deadline at work. Retirement is when you will finally curse yourself for using an important deadline at work as an excuse for not taking care of your body all these years.

 

40) Congratulations on retiring. Have fun watching your life’s savings dwindle out.

Find the perfect message to write in a retirement card with our wishes, from funny to sincere. Simply choose your favourite one - we've picked.

Retirement Wishes, Greetings and Phrases

retirement thoughts and wishes

Last Updated: 14th August, 2019

Retirement Wishes


The best retirement gift you can give yourself is to follow your dreams!
Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living.
Happy Retirement.
Remember it’s the beginning of anything and everything you want it to be.
Happy retirement!
You’ll be missed but never forgotten!
Wishing you endless days of relaxation.
Happy retirement!
Welcome to the next stage of your life, where every day is the weekend!
Congratulations on your retirement. You have been a great co-worker.... Your dedication, enthusiasm, and positivity will be missed.
We wish you health and happy days in your retirement.
Retirement is the phase in which you stop living for work and start working on living.
Happy Retirement!
Congratulations on your retirement,
to one of the best people that the office has ever had.
You are an embodiment of optimism and hard work. Thank you for inspiring us every day at work.
We will miss you!
May you have a relaxing new chapter ahead
– one where you will have unlimited time for enjoy your life
Happy Retirement!
Enjoy your freedom and unlimited weekends! Congratulations on your retirement!
Wishing you a long and joyous retirement.
Wishing you the best in this next phase in your life.
Wishing you the best on your life after this retirement. We'll miss you.
Best wishes on your next adventure.
Good luck and best wishes to you on your retirement.
Best wishes for a relaxing and happy retirement.
Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up and can’t stay up all night even if you want to. So in short, it is boring. Congratulations.
Your retirement actually means that you got promoted to one of the best roles in your life. Congratulations.
Morning coffees will finally be what they are meant to be – relaxed and de-stressing. Happy retirement.
No more targets, no more goals, no more KPIs and no more meetings. All there’s left to do now is to unfurl all the happiness that life has in store. Congratulations on your retirement.
To one of the best people that the company/office has ever had. Congratulations on your retirement!
Retirement is equals to freedom. I hope you enjoy doing the things that you don’t have time for before. Congratulations! Happy Retirement!

Retirement Congratulations

Congratulations, now the fun begins. Best wishes on your new chapter in life.
Thanks for your hard work and dedication. Congratulations on your retirement.
This is another beginning of your life .
Hearty Congratulations on your retirement.
**

Retirement Messages

For the dedication and hard work, you deserve the best retirement ever. Enjoy this new journey of your life.
Retirement doesn’t mean the end of your active life.You can do the things that you’ve always wanted to Enjoy it!
Best wishes to your retirement. We're going to miss you.
Best wishes for you on retirement
Enjoy your time with your family and friends.
May every moment of your life be fulfilling and full of joy.
You deserve all the best things in this world in your retirement years to come.
Have a happy and rocking retirement days!
Best wishes for your retirement.
Make sure that you Keep working hard, and be your own boss.
Congrats!
May all your future dreams come true and may your life be filled with joy and happiness.
Happy retirement!
Wishing you a healthy, wealthy, long and happy retirement life
Your presence, your guidance and your supervision inspire us to do better.
A colleague like you is simply irreplaceable.
Happy Retirement for you!
WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: Best Retirement Wishes, Messages and Quotes - Retirement Messages for Coworkers, Friends & Family
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retirement thoughts and wishes

Is someone you know retiring? When people retire it’s a significant event in their life, and finding something meaningful or funny to write in their retirement card can be challenging. We’ve rifled through the inter-web, rummaged through our cards and come up with some popular and unique ideas for you. From funny quotes to sincere messages, simply pick your favourite.

Light Hearted Wishes

  1. Congratulations! The money is no better in retirement, but the hours sure are.
  2. I hope you’re looking forward to the feeling of never having to go to bed at night and set an alarm again.
  3. Enjoy working at living, instead of living at work.
  4. In retirement, there’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
  5. Now you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life.
  6. Goodbye tension, hello pension!
  7. Welcome to happy Mondays!
  8. Happy retirement. Time to stop lying about your age and start lying around the house!
  9. Well done on climbing the mountain, now you can finally enjoy the view!
  10. Congrats on retiring! Now it doesn’t matter if the government decides to increase the retirement age.

Funny Messages

  1. Remember retirement is an adventure! Especially if you count trekking out of bed, climbing on sofas and diving into takeaways. Have fun.
  2. Retirement will make you realise that you wasted all those years trying to be mature when you can go back to being a child at the end of them. Enjoy!
  3. Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.
  4. Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party… except that you can’t drink, can’t dance and can’t stay up late. Enjoy!
  5. Retirement is like a lifelong vacation, except that you are no longer fit to do most of the fun stuff.
  6. Congratulations on becoming the master of doing nothing.
  7. Congratulations on getting some new tires on your car. A card seems a little over the top though, I never got one.
  8. Congratulations on extending your weekends by 5 days!
  9. Retirement is great – you can finally do nothing without being worried about getting caught.
  10. God retired after just 6 days of creating the heavens and the earth. What took you so long?
  11. Please congratulate your partner on getting twice the husband, but only half the income.
  12. Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time called “doing nothing”!
  13. I hope you enjoy living off your savings. Let me know what you do after the second week…
  14. Happy retirement… think of it as a six month holiday, twice a year.
  15. Have fun doing the things you always wanted to… as long as you’re not too old to remember them!

Risqué / Controversial Messages

  1. Retirement will make no difference in your life except the fact that you can now do nothing, officially.
  2. Well done on being so tired, you had to retire.
  3. You’ll be back, I’ve met your partner.
  4. I hope you’re looking forward to retirement. Apart from the occasional heart attack, you’ll probably feel as young as you ever did.
  5. Well done on staying alive so long that your company had to force you to retire.
  6. Happy retirement. Enjoy old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical check-ups and a weak bladder!
  7. Good luck in retirement. I think we’ve all been able to tell for a while that the wheels are still spinning, but the hamster is slowing down.
  8. Life is too short – and now you will figure that out…
  9. Statistically you’re now more likely to die than if you’d carried on working. All the best!
  10. Happy retirement, is now a good time to point out that the next big event in your life will be your funeral…

Office Retirement Quotes

    1. Of all the people I have ever worked with. I can honestly say that you were one of them.
    2. Remember we’re all still working so try not to rub it in about the tough day you’ve had visiting the National Trust tearooms.
    3. Retirement is just a nice way for the company to tell you that they have found more energetic, talented, youthful and skilled staff than you.

 

  1. Good luck in retirement. We’re all going to really miss doing your work for you.
  2. Good decision to retire – you best go now before they find all your mistakes.
  3. Congratulations on your retirement! Although to be honest, I could have sworn you stopped working years ago.
  4. Aren’t you glad you stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man?
  5. We’re all going to really miss doing your work for you.

Sincere Wishes

  1. It’s been great working with you. Remember to relax and have fun, and avoid anything that resembles work for as long as possible.
  2. May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.
  3. Here’s to a well-deserved and happy retirement! Enjoy.
  4. All the best with your retirement. I hope you enjoy the greener pastures.
  5. Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Here’s hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.
  6. Enjoy your new found freedom and make the most of it. Happy retirement.
  7. Many congrats – here’s to a long, healthy and happy retirement.

For more ideas, check out our retirement cards where you can upload photos, add names and messages for that extra special touch.

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Retirement Wishes. You may view retirement wishes by scrolling below. .. “ From when I first met you, I recognized you as a significant thought leader and.

Retirement Wishes

retirement thoughts and wishes

Happy retirement, friend

You are finally retired, but everyone is so proud of you. You left your job with a lot of respect from other workers, you were really high up in your job, you used to go all out. Have a happy retirement!

***

Today is the day when your career has come to an end, but it doesn’t mean that all your success and bright achievements will simply vanish. You did a great job and we all believe that you’ll do even more amazing things!

***

Even though you think you’re old, actually you’re not. In fact, you just ended something you did for a long time and it means that now you have much free time to do whatever makes you happy. Enjoy it!

***

You are retired now. You did an amazing job, had a great career and now you really deserve to get some rest. Happy retirement!

***

You think you’re old, but we think you’re wise.
You think you’re useless, but we still need you all the time.
We love you with all our hearts and don’t want you to be sad.
You should always remember the words we’ve just said!

WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: Top 12 Happy Retirement Quotes and Wishes

When you need a laugh at work, these 55 funny retirement quotes will inspire you conjure up dreams of retirement and remind you of all the retirement wishes.

retirement thoughts and wishes
Written by Mikagore
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