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Punny birthday wishes
December 10, 2018 Anniversary Wishes 4 comments

5 days ago Birthday wishes can be serious or funny. Some people always prefer to write serious and emotional birthday messages to their parents. But, for.

Clever Birthday Wishes

Clever birthday wishes, at their best, can be witty, inspiring, even smart. Find only the "best" clever birthday messages for your card, eCard or text here.

Just pick the one that cleverly expresses what you want to say to someone special. Next, determine if what you want to say is clever enough or too clever for the birthday girl or boy.

Considering the reaction of your special someone celebrating a birthday may seem like an obvious move, particularly when choosing a birthday wish, but most people tend to overlook it, caught up with finding a clever birthday message, any clever birthday message.

Message Guy Tip #42:
How to select clever birthday wishes

Birthday wishes can be clever. But you may not want to be too “clever” with your birthday greetings. Some people prefer slightly clever birthday messages over a real “brain-teaser” of a birthday message. Others can’t wait to sink their teeth into a pun-laced, hard-to-solve birthday verse.

Which level of "cleverness" should you choose for the birthday boy or girl? The first thing to consider is... Read more ►

Why do people like clever birthday messages in the first place? Most people like this type of birthday greeting because it appeals to the same part of the brain that likes riddles. Because clever birthday wishes are cryptic in nature, they are a lot like riddles. So, the real question to ask is "why do people like riddles?" According to "And so it goes," an article I read recently, here's why:

  • "We like to challenge ourselves (part of us thinks we can't solve the riddle and another part thinks we can).
  • We like to solve riddles because it proves to ourselves that we can solve problems.
  • We want to be able to pat ourselves on the back for a job well done.
  • We like to just know the answer to everything.
  • A riddle is more fun when we remember it and can gloat about having solved it (when we tell it to someone else).
  • The fun in riddles is that it is better than thinking about nothing."

You can read the entire article right here. The same, I guess, goes for clever birthday verses, which contain riddle-like messages.

So how far should you go with your clever birthday messages?

If you think the birthday boy or girl would agree four or more the reasons why riddles are appealing (right above), you should choose a very clever birthday wish. This type of greeting is clever, yet not too cryptic. It's witty, but not too droll or campy. You can even choose a clever birthday wish that's inspiring. Whatever you do, just make sure it does not go over the head of the birthday boy or girl.

If the recipient of your birthday message would agree with two or three of the reasons above, go for a semi-clever birthday verse. In other words, don’t be too clever with your choice. This group won't like the "smarty pants" approach, so express how you feel about the birthday boy or girl with just the right turn of phrase.

If you believe that the birthday boy or girl would agree with only one of the above-mentioned reasons, don't go the clever route at all. A better option: go to my Birthday Wishes section to choose from many other styles — or by age or person.

◄ Read less

Even growing old — with all its aches, pains and wrinkles — has one redeeming quality: it takes so much time. Happy birthday!

In life, it's not the person with the least birthday candles who wins — it's the one with the most! Wishing you many more birthdays!

Growing old is unavoidable. Acting old isn't. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Today, you’re one year older and one year closer to dressing like your parents.

There is only one rule at your age! There are no rules! Have a wonderful birthday, no holds barred! 

Happy birthday! You're an adult! Now you can legally do out in the open what you've done secretly for years as a teenager. 

Download Birthday Postcard

I must be psychic — I predicted you would start drinking as soon as you were legally an adult. Happy b-day!

It’s not your birthday everyone is celebrating today — it’s just another excuse to "friend" you and wish you "happy birthday" on Facebook. 

You are exactly like wine. The more you mature, the better you taste. Have a wonderful birthday!

Download Birthday Postcard

Top of Clever Birthday Wishes

Need to check out more options?
Check out the clever birthday wishes here...

Happy birthday! Don’t be sad that you're the perfect candidate for a mid-life crisis— it’s so much better than an end-of-life crisis.

Happy birthday! Being a baby boomer nowadays means you've managed to live through the 60s: yours and the actual decade.

Happy birthday! Although your limited warranty on your body parts is almost over, your lifetime warranty on your heart will not expire until you do.

Happy birthday! At your age, the problem isn't the fact you've slowed down — it just seems like everybody else hasn’t.

Happy birthday! Start thinking of your age in terms of hours — instead of years. This way, you've automatically added thousands upon thousands of hours to your life.

Happy birthday! You’re not the only aging baby boomer who doesn’t see himself as old. Inside every senior is a teenager screaming for attention.

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Message Guy
Creator of this site

Kevin, the "Message Guy" who writes the birthday wishes, quotes, poems, toasts and speeches for this site, has been a professional writer, editor and translator for more than 25 years. He decided to create in 2012 to share his passion for birthday and "unbirthday" quotes on the best day of the year — your birthday.


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20 Funny Birthday Wishes and Quotes for Dad

punny birthday wishes

We hope you agree: these birthday puns really do take the cake! They’re everything you wished for. They make additions to cards, social media posts and in-person communications. Not only do these puns bring joy to many, but everyone can afford them. So, get ready for your friend or family member to blow out the candles as you prepare that special message that will make ’em laugh.

Birthday Puns

We present to you some of the best puns to share on the very special day. The birthday bash will be that much better with a little, fun b-day, word play. It’s party time, so bring your “A” game.

Funny Birthday Puns

How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?
They relish the moment.

What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake.

What did the bald guy say when he was given a comb for his birthday?
Thanks, I’ll never part with it.

What kind of birthday cake do you get for a coffee lover?

You might like: “How to make saying Happy Birthday sound more interesting than Good Morning”

Birthday Meme

Punny Card Ideas

What did the teddy bear say when it was offered some birthday cake?
No thanks, I’m too stuffed.

Why did the birthday cake visit the psychologist?
Because it was feeling really crumby.

Why did the girl get soap on her birthday?
Because it was a soap-prize birthday celebration.

What did husband buy his wife for her birthday?
Playing cards because she wanted something with diamonds in it.

Why do people write on birthday cakes?
Because everyone wants to have their cake and read it too.

What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
Hey, what’s eating you up buddy?

Check out Funny Happy Birthday Wishes

Pirate Meme

Birthday Jokes for Facebook and Instagram

What did the computer tell it’s owner on her birthday?
She needed an upgrade.

What did one candle say to the other?
Don’t birthdays just burn you up?

Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom.

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.

What did the cake say to the fork?
You want a piece of me?

Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!

What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.

You might like: Hard Riddles for Kids and Adults.

Birthday Image

Short Puns

How did Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
He had a whale of a time.

What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake.

What did the elephant want for his birthday?
A trunk full of gifts.

Check out 73 Best Dad Jokes.

Why don’t owls ever exchange birthday gifts?
They don’t give a hoot.

Did you hear about the birthday candle sale?
It was a big blowout.

What type of birthday cake does Peter Pan eat?
A pan-cake.

Check out Birthday Greetings.

For Friends

What does every happy birthday end with?
The letter Y.

What is the left side of a birthday cake?
The side that’s not eaten.

What do you always get on your birthday?
Another year older!

What is a snowman’s favorite part of a birthday cake?
The ice-ing.

Why do genies love celebrating birthdays?
Because of all the wishes.

Happy Birthday Puns

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey.

What does a clam do on his birthday?
It shellabrates.

What do you get a hunter for his birthday?
A birthday pheasant.

Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.

What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake.

What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.

Why don’t birthday candles ever exercise?
Because they burn out too quickly.

Punny Birthday Messages

What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?

What did the dancer say to her classmate?
Tappy birthday.

What did the maple trees say after the birthday party?
They had wood old time.

Why was the tree was unhappy today?
Because everyone kept wishing him a sappy birthday.

What do you say to a tree on it’s birthday?
Sappy birthday.

How do you say happy birthday to a sheep in Spanish?
Fleece cumpleanos.

Why couldn’t the zombie cut his birthday cake?
Because he had no arms.

What do you say to your goldfish on his birthday?
Have a fin-tastic day.

Bday Meme

For Dad – One Liners and more

You are the coolest Pop, HBD. (give with a popsicle)

Olive you.

You did a grape job raisin me.

Nothing holds a candle to you – hbd to the #1 Dad!

Yoda Best Dad! (for Star Wars fans)

Don’t get heartburn from eating the candles with the cake.

Your strategy of befriending infants is working: free cake once a year for life!

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When you slice it.

Birthday Cat Puns

Where do you get a birthday present for your cat?
From a cat-alogue.

What do you say to your cat on his birthday?
Happy purr-day.

How do cats wish each other Happy Birthday?
Wishing mew a Happy Birthday.

What song do cats listen to on their birthdays?
Three Blind Mice.

What is a cat favorite thing to eat with cake?
Mice cream.

What did the cat think about its gifts?
It though they were so purrcious.

Feline Fun

How old was the woman’s cat turning on its birthday this year?
Only Mew years old.

What did the cat say to the other cat on their birthday?
I hope you have a really mice day.

Why was the cat so happy on its birthday?
Because it was having such a meowvalous day.

Why do have cats love celebrating birthdays?
Because they love to purrty.

What kind of cool cats did the owner invite to her pets birthday party?
The cat-nipsters.

— Mike O’Halloran

Mike has celebrated many birthdays thus qualifying him to collect and write this collection.


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You can spend five bucks on a pre-made card that is moderately funny, or you can make your own DIY funny birthday card that is actually hilarious. It’s up to you, but you can guess what we recommend.

Here are 100 hilarious quote ideas for DIY funny birthday cards. If you write it yourself, not only does it give the card that extra-special feel but they might actually think you came up with the quote on your own. We’ll let them think that, no need to spoil it, as you obviously need all the help you can get.


Anyways, I didn’t really tally up these funny birthday card quotes. I have no idea if there are actually a hundred ideas below. You’re welcome to count but all I know is that there are a lot, and they’re all golden. Be inspired!

Also note that these are all pretty clean. Mostly G, a few PG. A few jokes about butts, getting drunk, mild insults, old people body humor, that sort of thing. We like to keep it 90-95% family-friendly and nothing really gross or obscene. It’s all a matter of opinion, of course, but these are generally PG or under.


Here’s what we got for you:

  • Anyone, Anytime – Funny quotes for birthdays of friends, family, and significant others, at any stage of life young or old.
  • Art Puns – With a bit of basic art skills, you can use these quotes and ideas to create a truly punny birthday card.
  • Old Age – You know, old people jokes. Making fun of getting older.
  • Let’s Get Smashed – Self-explanatory, but I’ll explain it anyways: Jokes about birthday beverages and the quantity thereof.
  • Heartwarming – By which we mean “heartwarming,” with rather heavy air quotes.

Just so you know, we may collect a share of sales should you purchase anything from the links we provide. Read our full disclosure here.

ANYONE, ANYTIME – DIY Funny Birthday Cards

Here are some guffaw-inducing birthday card quotes for just about anyone at any season of their life.

I wish you happy birthday with all of my butt. (I’d say heart but my butt is bigger.)  [example]

I have two tips for you on your birthday.
1) Forget the past, you can’t change it.
2) Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.  [example]

It’s been scientifically proven that those who have more birthdays live longer. [example]

I’d walk through fire for you. Well, not fire, because it’s dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.  [example]

There were a lot of famous people born on your birthday. Inside: Too bad you’re not one of them.

What’s a birthday card without money inside? Inside: This one.  [example]

Four out of five people get money in their birthday cards. Inside: Happy birthday from #5!  [example]

Happy Birthday! Here’s to another year of successfully evading my assassins.  [example]

I’m just here for the cake.  [example]

If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, and muffins are healthy.  [example]

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.  [example]

Balloons are so weird. “Happy Birthday, here’s a rubber sack of my breath!”  [example]

It’s the anniversary of your daring and clever escape from the womb!

I wanted to send you something (sexy, incredible, awesome, amazing, etc) but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox.

It’s your birthday! Let’s party and make questionable decisions.  [example]

Knowing someone as awesome as me should be the only present you need.  [example]

Happy Birthday to one of the few people I can actually tolerate on a daily basis.  [example]

Your birthday is today?!? Inside: False. Today is the anniversary of your birthday.

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.  [example]

To Do List: Give birthday card to idiot ☑  [example]

I really hope you like this gift that you specifically told me to buy for you.  [example]

While you were reading this card I ate your entire birthday cake.  [example]

This is more than a birthday card. Inside: It is also your present.

ART PUNS – DIY Funny Birthday Cards

These funny birthday card quotes require a bit of basic artwork. If you have decent drawing skills, use them to create your own humorous cards!

(Succulents) I hope your birthday doesn’t succ  [example]

(Watermelon slice) You’re one in a melon!  [example]

(Beer) Happy Beer-thday!  [example]

(Cute little pea) Hap-pea birthday!  [example]

(Ice cream cone) It’s sherberth day? In-cone-ceivable!

(Cows) Herd it’s your birthday  [example]

(Grim Reaper) See you soon!  [example]

(Cactus) I hope your birthday is on point!

(Dog) In dog years you would be dead!  [example]

(Eggs) I hope your birthday is eggcellent.  [example]

(Wine) In wine years you are extra fine.  [example]

(Orange) Orange you glad it’s your birthday!  [example]

(Cheese) I got you a cheesy card…   [example]

(Elephant) Age is irr-elephant.  [example]

(Coffee mug) Words cannot espresso how much you mean to me.  [example]

(Lemon) Happy birthday to my main squeeze!

(Lettuce) Lettuce celebrate your birthday!  [example]

(Carrot) You are old, but I don’t carrot all!  [example]

(Cake with boxing gloves) You wanna piece of me?!?!  [example]

(Frog) Hoppy birthday!  [example]

(Fan) Have a fan-tastic birthday!  [example]

(Tea cup) Happy birthday, best-tea!  [example]

(Cheese) You’re aged to perfection.  [example]

(Popcorn) I hope your birthday is poppin’!  [example]

OLD AGE – DIY Funny Birthday Cards

These are the ones you use for anyone who is getting up there in years. For crotchety old grandpa, or for your fun aunt who is nearing retirement. Or for basically just about anyone over twenty-one.

I’m not going to make any age jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

Look, I’m not saying you are old… but if you were milk, I’d sniff you first. [example]

I got you this card because it matches your hair. [example]

Happy “30th” birthday!! Inside: Again…  [example]

Happy 29th birthday! Inside: From your 110 lbs friend.

Don’t think of it as getting older… think of it as getting closer to qualifying for amazing senior discounts!  [example]

In this card, I’m going to share the secret to staying young. Inside: Lie about your age.  [example]

You can start lying about your age now.  [example]

A very happy birthday to someone who is now taking drugs on their birthday for actual serious medical reasons.

I hope your cake doesn’t give you diarrhea.  [example]

You know you’re getting old when the cake is not large enough to hold all the candles.

You know you’re old when the candles start costing more than the cake.

Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.  [example]

You’re not old, you’re retro.

In whiskey years, you just got more delicious.  [example]

Age is just a number. (In your case, a really big one.)  [example]

The older you get, the better you get. Inside: Unless you’re a banana.  [example]

At least you won’t be as old as you will be next year.  [example]

Congrats on being one year closer to needing a handrail in the shower.  [example]

You’re officially too old to drop it like it’s hot. So how about you just sit down like it’s warm.  [example]

You are getting kinda old. Inside: It’s ok, I still like you anyways.  [example]

With old age comes new skills. Inside: You can now cough, laugh, sneeze, and pee yourself all at the same time!  [example]

Your birthday is becoming a serious fire hazard.  [example]

Smells like old people. Inside: Oh wait, that’s you… Happy Birthday!  [example]

LET’S GET SMASHED – DIY Funny Birthday Cards

Here are funny birthday card quotes for your drinking buddies and BFFs. Interchange your favorite drink, cocktail, or spirit with almost any of these to perfectly tailor the card to the recipient.

You know what rhymes with with twenty? Jagerbombs. (Or wine, whiskey, beer, etc)  [example]

In wine years you are extra fine.  [example]

Happy birthday! I was going to bake you a delicious rum cake, but I decided to go with a regular cake. Also, I’m really drunk.  [example]

Happy drunk! Let’s get birthday.  [example]

Wine is the best cure for birthdays.  [example]

At your age, you need glasses. Inside: Wine glasses.  [example]

If I had to choose between you and wine, you would be a very close second.  [example]

In whiskey years, you just got more delicious.  [example]

Happy Birthday! (I was going to drink anyways)  [example]

Take every birthday with a grain of salt. Inside: This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita.

Related: 21 Margarita Gift Ideas

HEARTWARMING – DIY Funny Birthday Cards

Ahh, love. The love that only siblings or besties can share. Very  “heartwarming” and “sentimental.” Even “truly meaningful.” If you can share such tender intimacies as these with a friend or family member, you have a relationship to treasure.

If you got stung by a jellyfish, I would totally pee on you.  [example]

Ok let’s see how this goes. Pretend you are reading something very personal I wrote in this card. After a few moments, laugh like I wrote something hilarious. Maybe tip back your head and laugh, you know, really sell it. Now nod your head as though I wrote something very serious and heartwarming. Hold your hand to your heart and sigh, but don’t overdo it. Now close the card, look at me, and mouth the words, “thank you.”

Happy Birthday, little brother/sister!! You’re hardly annoying at all anymore!!  [example]

Because you mean so much to me I got you this piece of paper that’s folded in half. Inside: I even signed it.  [example]

Happy birthday to a brother that has the world’s greatest sister! (Or mom/son, dad/daughter, sister/sister, etc)  [example]

I’m sorry I got all the good genes. Happy Birthday, Brother! (Or sister)  [example]

Outside: [Whatever you want… see any of the above quotes] Inside: Aww dang! All these words fill up the card and there’s no place for me to write something personal about our friendship. I was going to write something about that time we did the thing… Golly that was going to be so cool. Maybe I’ll write about it on the back of this card. Yeah, I’m definitely going to do that. Flip over the card and let’s get the nostalgia started. Back: Are you kidding me? There’s not even any space on the back of this card to write something personal? Sheesh… Hmm. Well, now that I think about it, I probably should have bought a different card with more room to write about just how much you mean to me.  [example]


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5 days ago Birthday wishes can be serious or funny. Some people always prefer to write serious and emotional birthday messages to their parents. But, for.

100 Hilarious Quote Ideas for DIY Funny Birthday Cards

punny birthday wishes

Puns make great birthday gifts. Everyone can afford them (seeing as how they’re free). They bring joy to many. And unlike the birthday girl or boy, they never get old.

Of course, that last point is a matter of opinion. Puns, much like birthdays, are not universally loved. Still, if there’s one day out of the year when a normally pun-averse person might be inclined to enjoy some silly wordplay, it’s his or her name day.

With that in mind, here are some lighthearted happy birthday puns to share with a spouse, friend, family member, or other special person in your life. If you like puns, we think you’ll agree that these sayings really take the (birthday) cake.


To start off, here are some punny birthday riddles.

  • What do you call it when you give a child a training toilet for her birthday?
    A surprise potty!
  • Why don’t owls exchange birthday gifts?
    They don’t give a hoot!
  • Why do people write on birthday cakes?
    Because everyone wants to have their cake and read it too!
  • What type of birthday cake did Peter Pan get?
    A pan-cake!
  • What kind of birthday cake do you serve to a fan of Stranger Things?
    An upside-down cake!
  • What do you say to a Mexican sheep on his birthday?
    Fleece cumpleaños!
  • What do you say to a female sheep on her birthday?
    Happy birthday to ewe!
  • What do you say to a tree on its birthday?
    Sappy birthday!
  • Why did the unhappy husband buy sexy lingerie for his wife’s birthday?
    So he could give her the slip!
  • Did you hear about the birthday boy who swung his bat 100 times before finally hitting the piñata?
    He really busted his ass!

Punny Birthday Wishes

Looking for a funny/punny way to wish someone a happy birthday? Here are some options.

  • There’s nothing better than presents from friends and family on your birthday, unless it’s the presence of friends and family on your birthday.
  • It’s a sad fact that the older you get, the more your birthday suit needs to be pressed. Hope you don’t have any pressing concerns on your birthday.
  • As a friend, you really take the birthday cake. Have a great one.
  • I know getting older is no piece of cake, but try not to think about that when you’re blowing out your birthday candles. Enjoy every last bite.
  • It’s time to blow up the balloons and blow out the candles. Otherwise, I hope your birthday doesn’t blow.
  • This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?

For more ideas, check out this list of funny birthday wishes.


Finally, here are some funny birthday puns featuring animals.

  • The cat’s out of the bag – you’re one year older. Hope your birthday leaves you feline good.
  • Have a purr-fect birthday.
  • I heard some-bunny was turning [age]. Happy birthday!
  • Dogs age seven times faster than humans. And you think you have it ruff!
  • Have a howling good time on your birthday, but don’t wolf down your cake too fast.
  • It’s okay to go a little hog wild on your birthday.
  • Have a bear-y happy birthday.
  • Happy birthday to a paw-some friend.

Looking for a funny saying to put on a birthday cake? There’s a whole other list for that.

A Twitter enthusiast, Virender Sehwag often takes to the micro-blogging site with his quirky marriage tips, jokes and hilarious birthday wishes.

punny birthday wishes
Written by Arajin
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