New year funny wish

Spread the cheer with these funny New Year messages that you can share to your family and friends. These humorous New Year greetings can also be used for holiday greeting cards and SMS.  We also include some new year text messages that you can send to your friends, family and dear ones via your mobile phone. All you need is to tap the key and send them instantly. Have fun with these New year and spread the joy and happiness it brings to people close to your heart.

Funny Happy New Year Messages

Last year, I have been so stubborn and bad.
I caused you so much pain and hurt.
This year, I want you to know that I will never change.
I will stay the same. Happy New Year!

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I may have loved you less, cared for you less, and given you less.
Do not worry my prayers for you are also less.
Happy New Year!

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This year, I promise to be good so that I have all the reasons to be bad.

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May New Year bring you a new life with your new wife.

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This year, I promise to wake up early so that I can sleep early too!

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For this New Year, I promise not to eat chocolate. Not even a bit. Promise…

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I will conserve water this year.
I will do the laundry less but use deodorant more.
Happy New Year!

Funny New Year Messages for Cards, Funny New Year Messages for Friends

Happy New Year to all of the people whom I had misunderstandings with.
Catch this firework as a sign of making peace to you!

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If I had done you wrong, I am sorry.
May you still give me a chance this New Year to do it over and over again.
Happy New Year!

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I want to make this day special.
I decorated your room will plenty of fireworks that you will surely enjoy!

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May New Year makes you realize to stop being a black sheep of this family and start to be a dove that brings peace.

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My New Year’s resolution is to eat less so that I can be sexier.
But whenever I see your fat body, I guess I am already successful with my resolution so I won’t do it anymore.
Happy New Year to you!

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May this New Year bring you more problems, more tears, and more pains.
Don’t get me wrong. I just want you to be a stronger person.

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I will no longer wish you more success.
You’ve had so much already.
It should be mine this year!

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I hope that this New Year, I will be with a woman other than you.
I am tired to be your boyfriend.
I think I want to try being your husband instead.

Funny Happy New Year Wishes

Funny new year wishes messages, funny new year wishes greetings

Find more new year wishes messages below. These will be really useful for your cards and sms

It’s New Year’s Eve!
Time for fireworks and treats
Just be careful though,
Be safe or you’ll lose a finger or two.
Have a wonderful new year!

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A glass of water
A bottle of beer
Let’s get ready
And start the New Year’s party!

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I promise not to drink beer anymore,
But since it’s not yet the eve, can I have a bottle more?
Happy New Year, dear!

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They say pain and tears help one to be stronger,
So I am wishing you more tears and pain.
For you to become even stronger than last year.
Happy New Year!

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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you!
May you complete all your new year’s resolutions.

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It’s New Year!
So you can legally drink as much as you want.
Just don’t drive, be safe and have fun!

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My New Year’s Resolution:
Greet all those people who made me crazy this year!
You are one of them.
Don’t get me wrong, you just made my life worth living.
Happy New Year!

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It’s New Year’s Day once again,
Time to make resolutions and promises again.
I’m just hoping that after all the writin’
The resolutions won’t be in vain.

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This year,
Less complaining, more blessings
Less keeping, more sharing
Have a meaningful and blessed New Year ahead!

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Some people don’t like New Year that much.
Because they have to make resolutions they will break a week after.
Happy New Year!

Funny New Year Quotes

New year funny quotes, funny happy new year quotes

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
~ Bill Vaughan

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New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
~ James Agate

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Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.
~ Brooks Atkinson

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New Year’s Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
~ Mark Twain

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Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
~ Anonymous

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I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
~ Anais Nin

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May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!
~ Joey Adams

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From New Year’s on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.
~ Leonard Bernstein

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Your Merry Christmas may depend on what others do for you. But your Happy New Year depends on what you do for others.
~ Anonymous

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The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.
~ G. K. Chesterton

More Funny New Year Greetings To Send

We all love a light joke, every now and then. Following are some one liners which you can use to wish your friends a Happy New Year.

May god motivate you to indulge less in office gossips this year!

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I wish you can evade your boss successfully while using instant messengers at workplace this year!

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I wish you scare off everyone in your wonderful Halloween attire in the New Year!

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I wish you end up fighting less with your partner over TV remote this New Year!

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I wish you can maintain your resolution to quit smoking a few days more this new year!

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I wish you finally learn how to use your Smartphone properly this New Year.

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May god inspire you to finally enroll in that anger management course in New Year!

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I wish you find a perfume this year that is less awe-inspiring than chocolate flavored EDT!

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I pray sincerely no sequel is released in your favorite vampire romance this year!

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I wish you end up without a funny face in group photos this year.

Funny Jokes for New Year

We will open the book,
Its pages are blank.
We are going to put words on them ourselves.
The book is called Opportunity and
Its first chapter is New Years Day.

What happened to the Irish man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year? He gave up thinking.

What happens every year when the Time Square Ball drops? Justin Bieber gets jealous

Women get a little more excited about New Years Eve than men do. It’s like an excuse: you drink too much, you make a lot of promises you’re not going to keep; the next morning as soon as you wake up you start breaking them. For men, we just call that a date.

Oh My Dear, Forget Ur Fear,
Let All Ur Dreams Be Clear,
Never Put Tear, Please Hear,
I Want to Tell One Thing in ur Ear
Wishing u a Very “Happy New Year…

Renewal Of Friendship Contract 2019
After Serious And Cautious Consideration,
Your Contract Has Been Renewed For The Year 2019.
So, try to be more LOVING and CARING next year.
Take care of Me and Miss me.
Because, It’s Impossible To Find A Friend
Who is
95% Ideal
96% Smart
97% Kind
98% True
99% TALENTED
and
100% Lovable
So,
Don’t lose Whom U Never Want To Lose.
Wish you a Very Happy New Year

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

To kick start my New Year:
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

I resolve... I resolve 2...
I resolve 2, uh...
I resolve 2, uh, get my, er...
I resolve 2, uh, get my, er,
off-line work theone, to!

A friend asks his friend 4 a cigrtte. His friend says
I think u made a Nw Yr resolution 2 quit smoking.
Da man says. I am in da process of quitting.Right now
I am in da middle of phase 1. What's phase 1?
I've quit buying

Nw Yr's Day: Now is da accepted time 2 make ur regular annual
good resolutions. Next week u can begin paving hell with dam as usual.

On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.
'My wife,' slurred Daniel grimly.

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'
'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.

John, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Dave, and asks for a smoke.
“I thought you made a New Year's resolution and that you don’t smoke,” Dave says.
“I'm in the process of quitting,” replies John with a grin. “I am in the middle of phase one.”
“Phase one?” asks David.
“Yeah,” laughs John, “I've quit buying.”

“Families are complicated enough, but things became even more confusing after my father decided to get married to my brother's mother-in-law. "Now I can't make up my mind whether he's my dad or my father-in- law," says my brother, "or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my child is my daughter or my niece.”

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means, ‘Without Information Fighting Every time’
WIFE says: No, it means ‘With Idiot for Ever’
Happy New Year 2019

Boy to a Girl :
“You Are Like A COIN”
Girl: hmmm, wow realy..??
.
.
.
.
Boy: No,no actualy i Want To Say ,
Theepay day mounh waliye.
Happy New Year.

Screensaver | Crafts Ideas | Chinese New Year

<3<3 FOR MORE NEW YEAR WISHES: https://goo.gl/PlVI2g<3<3<3

New Year's Day. A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and self-discovery. Today carve out a quiet interlude for yourself in which to dream, pen in hand. Only dreams give birth to change.

#HappyNewYear2017#NewStart#NewYearsEve

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  Happy New Year Greetings 2017, Inspirational Messages, Wishes & Cards

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  Happy New Year Greetings 2017, Inspirational Messages, Wishes & Cards

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  Happy New Year Greetings 2017, Inspirational Messages, Wishes & Cards

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  Happy New Year Greetings 2017, Inspirational Messages, Wishes & Cards

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  Happy New Year Greetings 2017, Inspirational Messages, Wishes & Cards

Check out these New Year Quotes to welcome in the next 365 days. You’ll find short, funny and famous quotations to getting you thinking about the year ahead.

Happy New Year Quotes

• New Year’s most glorious light is sweet hope.
  Mehmet Murat ildan

  

• So tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1999…
  Prince

  

• First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
  F. Scott Fitzgerald

  

• This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.
  Taylor Swift

  

• The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.
  Melody Beattle

  

• Celebrate endings – for they precede new beginnings.
  Jonathan Lockwood Huie

  

• And now we welcome the New Year, full of things that have never been.
  Rainer Maria Rilke

  

• I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the years’.
  Henry Moore

  

• If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.
  Cyril Cusack

  

• The beginning is the most important part of any work.
  Plato

  

• Ring out the false, ring in the true.
  Alfred Lord Tennyson

  

• Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
  Hal Borland

  

Funny New Years Quotes

1. Youth is when you are allowed to stay up late on New Years Eve. Middle age is when you are forced to.
   Bill Vaughan

   

2. With the Chinese New Year there are dragons, parades, firecrackers – With New Years in America there are big parties, the ball drops in Times Square, you get drunk, tell someone you love them, and throw up on their shoes. With the Jewish New Year, we fast, we can’t turn on the lights, we confess our sins. Happy New Year. What a party. A bunch of guilty hungry people sitting in the dark.
   Billy Crystal

   

3. New Year’s Day — now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
   Mark Twain

   

4. Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
   Unknown

   

5. I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
   Unknown

   

More Comedy

• Tonight’s December thirty-first — Something is about to burst. — The clock is crouching, dark and small, — Like a time bomb in the hall. — Hark, it’s midnight, children dear. — Duck! Here comes another year!
  Ogden Nash

  

• I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.
  Robert Paul

  

• New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.
  Unknown

  

New Years Quotes Funny

• Every New Year’s I have the same question: “How did I get home?”
  Melanie White

  

• My New Year’s Resolution List usually starts with the desire to lose between ten and three thousand pounds.
  Nia Vardalos

  

• “Out with the old, in with the new” is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting.
  Andy Borowitz

  

• A new year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
  Unknown

  

• Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
  Oprah Winfrey

  

• Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?
  Ogden Nash

  

New Years Quotes

• Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress.
  Charles Kettering

  

• Life goes by so very fast, my dears, and taking the time to reflect, even once a year, slows things down. We zoom past so many seconds, minutes, hours, killing them with the frantic way we live that it’s important we take at least this one collective sigh and stop, take stock, and acknowledge our place in time before diving back into the melee. Midnight on New Year’s Eve is a unique kind of magic where, just for a moment, the past and the future exist at once in the present. Whether we’re aware of it or not, as we countdown together to it, we’re sharing the burden of our history and committing to the promise of tomorrow.
  Hillary DePiano

  

• The attraction of New Year is this: the year changes and in that change we believe that we can change with it. It is far more difficult however to change yourself than turn the calendar to a new page. We are creatures of faith, like it or not.
  R. Joseph Hoffmann

  

• A lot can happen in a year.
  Unknown

  

• We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives…not looking for flaws, but for potential.
  Ellen Goodman

  

Last day of the year

1. No one knows the future, yet we can’t stop guessing while expecting of only the good, and not the bad or even both.
   Auliq Ice

   

2. Each year’s regrets are envelopes in which messages of hope are found for the New Year.
   John R. Dallas Jr.

   

3. A year of ending and beginning, a year of loss and finding…and all of you were with me through the storm. I drink your health, your wealth, your fortune for long years to come, and I hope for many more days in which we can gather like this.
   C.J. Cherryh

   

Quotations for the year ahead

• Any new beginning is forged from the shards of the past, not from the abandonment of the past.
  Craig D. Lounsbrough

  

• And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
  Harry Burns, “When Harry Met Sally”

  

• Honor to the earth, the abbot said, honor to the dead in the passing of the year; honor to the living, in the coming of the new. A Great Year passes tonight. A new one begins. Let the good that is old continue and let the rest perish….
  C.J. Cherryh

  

• As the old year retires and a new one is born, we commit into the hands of our Creator the happenings of the past year and ask for direction and guidance in the new one. May He grant us His grace, His tranquility and His wisdom!
  Peggy Toney Horton

  

January 1

• The great miraculous bell of translucent ice is suspended in mid-air. It rings to announce endings and beginnings. And it rings because there is fresh promise and wonder in the skies.
  Vera Nazarian

  

• We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called “Opportunity” and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.
  Edith Lovejoy Pierce

  

New Year Quote

• For a new year to bring you something new, make a move, like a butterfly tearing its cocoon! Make a move!
  Mehmet Murat Ildan

  

• Your Merry Christmas may depend on what others do for you. But your Happy New Year depends on what you do for others.
  Unknown

  

• Make New Year’s goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you’re interested in fully living life in the year to come.
  Melody Beattie

  

• Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.
  Benjamin Franklin – for more great Benjamin Franklin quotes

  

• Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.
  Brad Paisley

  

• Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress.
  Charles Ketterin

  

• Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering ‘it will be happier’…
  Alfred Tennyson

  

• Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you have always wanted to do but could not find the time. Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Vow not to make a promise you do not think you can keep. Walk tall, and smile more. You will look 10 years younger. Do not be afraid to say, I love you. Say it again. They are the sweetest words in the world.
  Ann Landers

  

 Quotes for the New Year

• Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
  Mark Twain.

  

• As years passed away I have formed the habit of looking back upon that former self as upon another person, the remembrance of whose emotions has been a solace in adversity and added zest to the enjoyment of prosperity.
  Simon Newcomb

  

• Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.
  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  

• May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
  Joey Adams

  

• We meet today to thank Thee for the era done, And Thee for the opening one.
  John Greenleaf Whittier

  

• We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched.  Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives… not looking for flaws, but for potential.
  Ellen Goodman

  

A New Leaf

• Waste no tears over the grieves of yesterday.
  Euripides.

  

• You must leave your many millions, And the gay and festive crowd; Though you roll in royal billions, There’s no pocket in a shroud.
  John Alexander Joyce

  

• Time is the school in which we learn, time is the fire in which we burn.
  Delmore Schwartz

  

Happy New Year Quote

• The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!
  Edward Payson Powell

  

• The merry year is born like the bright berry from the naked thorn.
  Hartley Coleridge

  

Rock the Night Away

• Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.
  Jay Leno

  

• Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.
  Brooks Atkinson

  

• New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
  James Agate

  

More New Years Eve Quotes

• I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn’t be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year’s resolution is not to bark back.
  Tucker Carlson

  

• Those who gave thee a body, furnished it with weakness; but He who gave thee Soul, armed thee with resolution. Employ it, and thou art wise; be wise and thou art happy.
  Akhenaton

  

• I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.  Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.  So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes – Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.  Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, do it.  Make your mistakes, next year and forever.
  Neil Gaiman

  

• He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool.
  F.M. Knowles

  

Resolutions

• Glory to God in highest heaven, Who unto man His Son hath given; While angels sing with tender mirth, A glad new year to all the earth.
  Martin Luther

  

• All of us every single year, we are a different person. I do not think we are the same person all our lives.
  Steven Speilberg

  

• A happy New Year! Grant that I may bring no tear to any eye When this New Year in time shall end Let it be said I’ve played the friend, Have lived and loved and labored here, And made of it a happy year.
  Edgar Guest

  

New Year Sayings

Looking for some inspirational New Year quotes? Here you go:

• Of all sound of all bells… most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year.
  Charles Lamb

  

• An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
  Bill Vaughn

  

• Approach the New Year with resolve to find the opportunities hidden in each new day.  
  Michael Josephson

  

• Stir the eggnog, lift the toddy, Happy New Year, everybody.
  Phyllis McGinley

  

• Be always at War with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you, a better person.
  Benjamin Franklin

  

• For a new year to bring you something new, make a move, like a butterfly tearing its cocoon! Make a move!
  Mehmet Murat ildan

  

Turn the Page

• A new year brings not only happiness, it makes us happy with a hope to fulfill our dreamz or a new beginning of our life. So, a new year is very special to everyone.
  Santonu Kumar Dhar

  

• Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
  Helen Keller

  

• Each age has deemed the new-born year the fittest time for festal cheer.
  Sir Walter Scott

  

• New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.
  Charles Lamb

  

A New Start

• Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.
  Henry Ward Beecher

  

• Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.
  Benjamin Franklin

  

• For last year’s words belong to last year’s language. And next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.
  T.S. Eliot

  

• Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it’s twice as onerous a duty.
  John Selden

  

• The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.
  George William Curtis

  

• May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early. My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall.
  Aleister Crowley

  

• If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.
  Cyril Cusack

  

New Years Resolution Quotes

• May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!
  Aleister Crowley

  

• The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.
  G.K. Chesterton

  

• I know. I’m lazy. But I made myself a New Years resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have ’til December, right?
  Catherine O’Hara

  

• May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
  Joey Adams

  

• New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
  James Agate

  

• I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the years’.
  Henry Moore

  

• If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.
  Cyril Cusack

  

You’re on New Year Quotes.

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