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Humorous wedding wishes quotes

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Humorous wedding wishes quotes
March 01, 2019 Anniversary Wishes 4 comments

Need to find something to write in a wedding card? Really happy for you both – I'm predicting cute babies ;o); Wishing you a lifetime of joy.

A happily married couple will look through their wedding cards and guestbook entries for the rest of their lives. They’ll look back on their friend’s wedding wishes and sage advice with fondness, but why not make them look back on yours with laughter?

Make your wedding card or guestbook entry stand out from the crowd by using some of these funny wedding messages as a guideline. Here are 36 hilarious and funny marriage quotes, jokes, and pieces of advice you can pass on to the newlyweds–to–be!

Funny wedding messages about marriage

Wedding is the much-awaited event in every individual’s life. The beautiful and funny wedding wishes, wedding congratulations messages, happy married life wishes, and other wedding wishes from friends and families make the day even more special for the couple. Random wedding day wishes or wedding messages to the bride and groom will fail to create a lasting impression on the newlywed couple.

If your best friend is walking down the aisle, then simple wedding wishes messages will fail to bring that beautiful smile on her/his face. You need to be more creative and come up with some really funny wedding messages and wedding wishes quotes for them.

Wondering how to compose funny wedding wishes for best friend?

Just relax and pen down your thoughts in beautifully creative and funny words. As long as your wedding congratulations message is honest and heartfelt, your funny wedding messages can make your buddy smile just a little, and the wedding wishes quotes sound inspiring and positive to your friend, then your efforts will surely pay off.

But, if words do not come naturally to you, then refer back to this article for some of the best and funny wedding messages. The following wedding wishes quotes and messages are simple yet funny, and your friend will adore them for years to come.

Let’s have a look at them –

  1. “I knew you two were madly in love with each other, but didn’t think that you’ll be mad enough to marry. Have a great life ahead.”
  2. “To the man who couldn’t spring for drinks when he was out with the guys, but is now blowing up his money on his huge wedding, you have left no doubt that you love this girl/guy! Congratulations.”
  3. “You’ve finally found someone who understands your weird jokes. Hold onto them forever!”
  4. “There is nothing worse than a friend getting married. Now my parents have one more reason to coax me into getting married. Congratulations.”
  5. “Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?”
  6. “May you live each day like your last, and live each night like your first.”
  7. “Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” – Mark Twain
  8. “As Bill and Ted said, ‘Be excellent to each other.’“
  9. “Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!”
  10. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.”
  11. “A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
  12. “Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld
  13. “In the words of Mindy Kaling: I don’t want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they’re dead meat. I want to see you guys high–five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun.”
  14. “Getting married is like going to drama school. May there be more comedy than melodrama.”
  15. “Being married is like any other job; it helps if you like your boss!”
  16. “And now you two have officially become one: one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!”
  17. “Why marry when jumping in front of a train is easier and faster?! Just kidding! Hope your wedding finds you smiling!”
  18. “Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” —Megan Mullally
  19. “May your day be extra special and fun – because tomorrow the hard work begins!”
  20. “Getting married is like being in drama school. You get to practice everything from comedy to melodrama to tragedy. Congratulations on your journey to the theatre!”
  21. “Today I have realized that life is not fair for single people like me. Until now I had to buy you a gift only once a year on your birthday. Now I have two birthdays plus a wedding anniversary to buy gifts for. You guys are getting expensive – but so worth it! Congratulations.”
  22. “Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. You guys must be truly insane or MADLY in love.”
  23. “What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday”
  24. “They say that marriage is a great institution. And much like many types of institutions, you need to be crazy to get into it – Congratulations you kooks!”
  25. “I hope you get so many wedding gifts that you don’t realize none are from me.”
  26. “Some people marry for love. Some people marry for money. Some people just like getting gravy boats and other useless pieces of china.”
  27. “In life, we should always keep our eyes wide open. However, after marriage, it‘s better to close them!”
  28. “Saying I do while getting married is like blindly clicking on the I Accept checkbox while installing new software on your computer. You do it despite having no clue of what will come next. Congratulations on getting married.”
  29. “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright”
  30. “Why buy the cow? Maybe because every day the cow asks you when you’re going to buy it. And you live in a really small apartment with the cow and you can’t avoid that question at all. Also, the cow is way better at arguing than you are … But for real, why buy the cow? Let’s be real. Why buy the cow? Because you love her. You really do.” –John Mullaney
  31. “Thanks for the free booze. Best wishes for a long, happy marriage!”
  32. “Some future advice for the Groom: the most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it… once!”
  33. “Congratulations on signing your life away!”
  34. “Marriage is as easy as a walk in the park… Jurassic Park!”
  35. “You haven’t just tied the knot with your wife today, you have tied ropes on your legs too. Congratulations on your wedding.”
  36. Bride: “I do!”

Groom: “I do what she says…”

Final thoughts

Leaving humorous messages on your wedding card or guest book with personal anecdotes about the happy couple, thoughts on children, married life, and sex are all fair game when you’re addressing the newlyweds. These funny wedding messages will add an air of humor and truth to your guestbook entry that will make your bride and groom laugh.

You can also compose your funny wedding messages by referring back to these mentioned quotes and add a few extra witty words here and there that make sense. They will be your very own artwork that you can proudly boast off in front of your gang. And who knows, you might end up getting back the same funny wedding messages as congratulations on your wedding from the same group.

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Use our guide with 108 examples of wedding wishes for perfect wedding religious, you probably already know which wedding card quotes you want to If you're the older sibling and not yet married, a little humor is highly.

Best Wedding Card Messages: What to Write

humorous wedding wishes quotes

Funny wedding anniversary quotes can be a delightfully humorous way to acknowledge and celebrate your anniversary.

After all, marriage is hard, funny, and sometimes unthinkable (i.e. you probably know way too much about his bodily functions)

Use these funny and relatable quotes and anniversary wishes as text messages, Facebook status or any way you’d like – to have a good laugh together on this special day.

Below you’ll find clever and funny quotes, words, and wishes you can text, message or post on social media to celebrate your wedding anniversary and your marriage.

71 Funny Anniversary Quotes and Wishes

👉 Let’s start off with some general observations about marital “bliss”:

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

– Woody Allen

A marriage anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.

– Anonymous

For Marriage to Be a Success, Every Woman and Every Man Should Have Her and His Own Bathroom. The End.

– Catherine Zeta-Jones

If two people love each other, nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat.

– Anonymous

When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage.

– Katharine Hepburn

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead… get married. If you first don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.

Marriage is just texting each other – “do we need anything from the grocery store?” – until one of you dies.

– Anonymous

Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.

– Anonymous

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

– Rita Rudner

Marriage is basically just whispering, “Are you awake? I need to show you this cat video.

Marriage Has No Guarantees. If That’s What You’re Looking for, Go Live with A Car Battery.

– Erma Bombeck

An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

– Agatha Christie

Husbands are the best people to share a secret with because they never listen anyway.

Behind every great man – there’s a woman rolling her eyes.

– Jim Carrey

Unless you want to forget your marriage, it’s a good idea to remember your anniversary.

– Melanie White

Drug stores understand life. That’s why the Anniversary cards and Sympathy cards are right next to each other.

– Anonymous

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

– Groucho Marx

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

– Henry Youngman

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

– Phyllis Diller

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong – admit it.
Whenever you’re right – shut up.

– Anonymous

Marriage: when dating goes too far.

– Anonymous

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.

–  Jean Kerr

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.

– Anonymous

I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.

– Elizabeth Evans

The four most important words in any marriage: I’ll do the dishes.

– Anonymous

Marriage is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.

– Anonymous

Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlists.

– James Garner

Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener

– Anonymous

If We Take Matrimony at Its Lowest, We Regard It as A Sort of Friendship Recognized by The Police.

– Robert Louis Stevenson

👉 Want to send him your love? see my list of 100+ love text messages – for him!

Hilarious Wedding Anniversary Wishes for Your Spouse

Here are some super funny anniversary wishes you can text your husband or post on your Facebook status:

1. “Happy Anniversary to the best first husband I’ll ever have.”

2. “A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made, I’m glad I chose my cellmate wisely.”

3. “You’re my favorite pain in the ass”

4. “And here I thought you were just a one-night stand. Happy anniversary!”- Pauline Thomason

5. “I shave my legs for you. It must be love.”

👉 See my list of 18 cute (sometimes naughty) ways to flirt with your husband 😊

6. “Well, we made it another year without one of us either ending up dead or in jail.”

7. “Happy anniversary! Just imagine if our marriage was functional as you make it appear on Facebook.”

8. “I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.”

9. “On our anniversary, I want you to know how much I’ve enjoyed annoying you all this time and how excited I am to keep doing it in the future.”

10. “I’m so privileged that you chose me to be that special woman in your life who will forever have the honor of picking up your socks and washing your underwear.”

11. “I vow to still grab your butt when you’re old and wrinkly.”

12. “I still love you. Even though you fart in your sleep.”

13. “Happy Anniversary! Now if I can just remember your birthday this year.”

14. “My dear husband, I want you. To do more around the house.”

15. “I hope you keep grabbing my butt every time you look for the remote.”

16. “I fall in love with you each and every day. Except for yesterday. Yesterday you were really annoying.”

17. “All I want for next year is you. Just kidding, give me diamonds.”

18. “I love waking up next to you in the morning. Just don’t breathe on me.”

19. You have me, so I don’t know what else you could wish for. But knock yourself out.”

20. “Never laugh at your wife’s choices you are one of them.”

21. “One year down, freaking forever to go. Happy anniversary.”

22. “Happy anniversary! We’ve been through a lot and most of it was your fault.”

23. “Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you, so we’re even.

24. “I love you. Thanks for killing all the spiders this year.”

25. “Thanks for being my unpaid therapist.”

26. “Being married to you is like having a best friend who never listens to what you say.”

👉 See my list of 14 quotes about being ignored by someone you love.

27. “I know you appreciate the fact that before we were married you didn’t know there was a wrong way to put the milk back to the fridge.”

28. “Happy anniversary my love. Eat all the leftovers again and I will end you.”

29. “I love you so much I’d take a bullet for you. Not on the head…but maybe like…the leg”

30. “I love you more than carbs but less than cheese!”

31. “Sorry, no refunds. Happy anniversary!”

32. Happy anniversary day from the best thing that ever happened to you.”

33. “I Love You So Much I’d Fight a Bear for You. Well Not a Grizzly Bear Because They Have Claws, And Not a Panda Bear Because They Know Kung Fu… But A Care Bear, I’d Definitely Fight a Care Bear for You.”

10 Year Wedding Anniversary – Funny Wishes

And now, a few funny marriage quotes for those of us married for 10 years or more:

1. “Let’s do the one thing I really like to do in the bedroom. Vacuuming.”

2. “I really love you, etc. etc. etc. Can we eat now?”

3. “Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you.”

4. “You’re still here? I like it.”

5. “After all this time, my love for you is still stronger than my desire to be single.”

6. “Holy shit. We’re still married!”

7. “There’s no one else I would rather snoring as hell beside me.”

8. “Let’s keep making memory after memory together; even though you’re losing yours.”

9. “Happy anniversary! I want to spend the rest of my money with you.”

10. “Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.

11. “Happy anniversary to my husband, who still looks at me the way he looks at other women.”

12. “Congratulations on choosing a spouse who makes you look sane.”

13. “Let’s never give up on trying to change each other.”

Do you have a favorite quote you’d like to share? go on, don’t keep it to yourself – use the comment section below!

Rooting for ya,


I hope you had a good laugh with these quotes and words, and most of all I wish you both a happy anniversary and many more years of laughing, crying, fighting and loving one another – unconditionally.

Filed Under: Marriage Quotes

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Funny Wedding Messages for the Happy Couple

humorous wedding wishes quotes

Who said wedding wishes has to be serious and heartwarming all the time? Break the norm and make your friend laugh with funny wedding wishes and quotes. Wedding, unarguably, is sacred occasion for couples, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t add humor or fun element into it. Share the fun and joy by throwing some light and sweet jokes with your wedding wishes. Here are some sweet yet funny wedding wishes and messages that that will lighten and brighten the mood of the one who is getting married.

Funny Wedding Wishes Quotes

Are you looking for some really funny wedding wishes quotes? If yes, then we are glad to tell you that you search have ended. In this section, you are going to read the funniest wedding wishes quotes. You can send these quotes to the one who is getting married to tickle his/her funny bone and add some fun moments to that special occasion.

Marriage is expensive but foolishness comes free of cost. Happy Wedding Day!!


Marriage is like ‘I accept the terms and conditions’ even without reading them actually. Happy Wedding Day!


A dumb husbandand a deaf wife would make the best of pairs. Happy married life.


Marriage is like you have got that one person you can annoy as much as you want for the whole life. Happy wedding!


It’s like a give or take relationship. You either give or she knows how to take it. Happy married life ahead.


Marriage-the only day people cheerfully escort you to your sufferings ahead. Have a nice married life!


Funny Wedding Card Wishes:

In this section you are going to read the best funny wedding card wishes. You can write these wedding wishes on a greeting card or e-card and send it to the one who is getting married. If you can’t reach there to attend the wedding, at least these wedding wishes will cover up for you and make your dear friend smile for a moment.

You are really lucky, as you got an opportunity to choose your prison. Happy married life.


You do realize that in marriage,with even great responsibilities there’s no power! LOL! Happy Wedding Day!


You are actually shown some respect when priests asks you to say ‘I do’. Else it’s not that you have any other choice either. Happy Married Life Ahead!


You may have been that strict boss of all your men but its time to lay down your weapons. Say ‘All Hail Wife’ Happy Wedding Life!!


Why you need a pet now? You are already getting married. Happy Married Life


Your laughter will be dead, Your rejoicing will be nullified. There’s going to be just one voice at home now, And that is of your wife’s. Happy married life

Funny Wedding Messages for Friends

Speak up my friend, for this is the day that marks the beginning of your silent life ahead. Happy Wedding Day!


Keep rocking but don’t actually pull out rocks at each other. Happy married life.


May you be blessed with great strength and power to survive not to fight. You’re going on a war. Happy married life ahead.


Dude, did you take happiness insurance before applying for marriage. It can’t be done later. Happy Wedding day!


It’s like paying EMIs of your under construction house. But here you keep paying EMIs for your entire life and never even get to say a word. Wishing you a happy married life!


From a princess to queen, it’s time to conquer his world by love. Happy Wedding Day!


No one’s ever able to find out a secret about happy married life. I guess it doesn’t even exist. “Happy” Married Life…!!


Congratulations for the new birth. You’ll have to re-learn the ways of living now. Have a nice life ahead!

Funny Wedding Wishes Quotes and Messages

Guess you two were madly in love with each other.
From now onwards it would just be madness.
Happy Married Life.


I knew you two were madly in love with each other
but didn’t think that you’ll be mad enough to marry.
Have a great life ahead.


The invisible chains of
her lockup are already
tied to your hands.
Happy chained (married) life.


May God give you peace
because I can sense
a war going to start.
Happy married life.


Now is not the time for fear.
That would come later brother.
Rejoice as much as you can.
Happy marriage day!


Both of you have bars of happiness
on a graph look the same.
Very soon one of it is going go down
while the other will increase.
You know whose!
Happy Married Life.

Funny Wedding Wishes short:

If you are searching for short and sweet wedding wishes that are funny and hilarious, then this section is surely going to help you. Here, we have the best funny wedding wishes for your close friends and family. You can send out these messages via SMS, instant messenger on phone or through any social networking or micro-blogging site.

She not only stole your heart but also your name. Happy Wedding Day!


Dude, happy marriage. You let me analyze how much I can save by not marrying. Happy Wedding Day!


This is a contract which doesn’t come with an yearly renewal policy. Once signed its lifelong. Happy Married Life!


You have pain. You see a doctor. You marry. You are done. Happy Married life!


There can be only one circus master in a circus. You don’t even have a choice. Good Luck for your married life


Run for your life before it’s too late. You can still save yourself. Go Run!!! Oh… You can’t as you are already caught! Good luck for wedded life ahead.


Welcome to the world of sarcasm and rhetorical questions. Happy married life.


You may have been the king of good times but she will be the Goddess of future times. Well wishes for your married life.


Wish you a blissful life ahead. I was wishing your wife only.


You are so lucky to have found her. Now she will mend your ways in the best possible manner. Good Luck!!

General Funny Wishes for Wedding:

Hope you are enjoying reading these funny wedding wishes. Even I am enjoying writing all this for you. This is the last section of this fun filled post. Here, you will explore the general funny wishes for wedding. These wedding wishes will surely fill one’s wedding occasion with joy and fun. So, what are you waiting for? Go ahead, read and share!

When your elders give you blessings
& friends congratulate you even though
it’s a lifelong term, its called a wedding.
This is you day!! Enjoy it to the fullest.


The only power that you will have,
hereafter is the power of listening.
Happy Wedded life!


“You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say would be considered against you.
You have no lawyers and no bail plea requests.”
That’s what a priest should say in marriages.
Good luck for your married life.


As you sow,
so shall you reap.
As you love,
so shall you marry.
Best wishes for married life!


Late night parties,
dating and hangouts with friends.
Bid adieu to all these.
Happy married life.


You start saying yes
and hearing no often.
Make it a daily habit.
Happy wedding.


They say a king ruled the empire.
Now show him what the real truth is
in the house when there’s a queen like you.
Happy wedding darling.


It’s not a bad deal.
You get so many sister-in-laws free with a wife.
Its like completely free services for a priced product.
Say yay… it’s your wedding day!!


Start making it a practice to say ‘I do’.
You are getting married today!
Happy married life.


How on earth can two people
live with each other together,
for the rest of their lives.
Anyways, happy married life.


Your world will be ruled by bosses only.
Home also has a new boss now.
Happy married life to you both.


You were a war hero I heard.
No matter what you do,
you have to settle for peace only after this.
Congratulations on your marriage.


You were once a baby,
you are going to be again soon
when she steps in as your wife.

This was a fun filled hilarious collection of funny wedding wishes. Wasn’t it? But if you are wondering that fun ride has ended, then you are totally wrong. Fun doesn’t ends here. You can explore around our website and read more funny quotes,  messages, pickup lines and wishes that will surely make you and your near ones laugh out loudly!

Funny Wedding Messages

Add humor to your greetings with these funny wedding wishes and messages. Wedding is maybe a solemn occasion but you can still give it some twists by expressing some funny wedding congratulations messages and light jokes. Break the ice and use some of these funny wedding messages. Just scroll below.

Funny Wedding Congratulation Messages and Wishes

Humorous Wedding wishes, congratulation wedding messages

You can add humor to your wedding wishes and card messages by using these funny wedding wishes and wording. But hey, you have to make sure that you are close enough to your recipient before using any humorous words because instead of making them laugh or smile, you might end up offending the couple so be careful.

Congratulations for finally tying the knot on your necks.
Best wishes to you!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Deciding to leave a happy and free life without any lifetime commitment
Is just the first sacrifice of a person who will get marry.
Be prepared for more that will come.
Congratulations anyway!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Be sure to pick the most expensive wedding ring so that you can pawn it when a need arises.
Happy Wedding!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Welcome to prison.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Do not marry until you are pregnant.
Best wishes my friend!

* * * * * * * * * * *


A woman makes a man complete.
After the wedding he is finished.
Congratulations, though.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Sincere and loving words at first.
Afterwards, it is shouting and blaming.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Marriage is hot until you become hotheaded all the time with your partner.

* * * * * * * * * * *

At first, both of you are madly in love.
Later on, you will find yourself in the middle of a never-ending war.

* * * * * * * * * * *

You are so excited to make your partner happy and loved always.
Then you will find out that you did nothing but annoy each other instead.

 Wedding Card Wishes and Messages

Funny wedding card messages, funny wedding messages for the bride and groom

If you are sending a congratulation wedding card to a couple and want to make it casual with some humorous content, here are some samples that you may want to use. Like I said earlier, you have to know if the recipient is cool enough to accept your funny wedding wishes to avoid any misunderstanding.

You dreamed of nothing but all the beautiful things for your entire lifetime together.
Soon, you will dream of parting ways and living happily on your own.
Just kidding. Be happy.

* * * * * * * * * * *

It is nice to see that you are so excited and wearing the sweetest smile while signing your Marriage Contract. Soon you will wear the same smile and excitement again when you sign your annulment papers.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Being married is like killing yourself.
Why spend a lot on the ceremony while you can just hang yourself.
Happy Wedding!

* * * * * * * * * * *

You have nothing but words of praises for your love.
You will soon hear yourself saying all the bad things that you can say for him.
Have a Happy Wedding!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Are you sure you want to sign that Marriage Contract?
It doesn’t have any expiration.

Funny Wedding Wishes Messages and Greetings

Here are more messages and wishes to tell to the couples who are so dear to you.

First day – sweet moments, hugs and kisses
Second day – hugs, kisses and sweet nothings whispers
Third Day – kisses, hugs, some argue and make up
Fourth Day – some quarrel, make up and hugs
Fifth Day – quarrel, some nagging and make up
Sixth day – nagging, quarrel and total war
Seventh day – quarrel, total war, divorce
So, Good luck!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Before the wedding, your boyfriend will tell you that he will give everything to you,
After the wedding, he can’t even give you his salary.
Congratulations though!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Wishing you to have a great marriage!
I hope he stays the way he is when he’s still your boyfriend.
Good luck!

* * * * * * * * * * *

You guys rock!
Keep rocking on your marriage!
Good luck!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Congratulations on your marriage,
I hope you love with each other is as sweet as when you two are still dating.
Keep rocking!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Bride, you can now legally access your husband’s bank account.
Groom, get ready.
Good luck!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Funny Wedding Wishes Quotes and Sayings

Quotes about Marriage, funny wedding quotes and sayings

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything in the house.
~ Jean Kerr

* * * * * * * * * * *

Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.
~ Beverly Nichols

* * * * * * * * * * *

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
~ Helen Rowland

* * * * * * * * * * *

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
~ Rita Rudner

* * * * * * * * * * *

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

* * * * * * * * * * *

We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
~ Author Unknown

* * * * * * * * * * *

The proper basis for a marriage is mutual misunderstanding.
~ Oscar Wilde

* * * * * * * * * * *

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
~ Henny Youngman

* * * * * * * * * * *

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
~ Bill Cosby

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There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It’s called marriage.
~ James Holt McGavran

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Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
~ George Lichtenberg

to any couple. Use these at weddings or just to make your partner laugh. Marriage Quotes The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer.

51 Hilarious Quotes on Love and Marriage That You Will Want in Your Wedding Speech

humorous wedding wishes quotes

When it comes to writing the perfect wedding day wishes, how do you make your message stand out?

There’s nothing worse than finding the perfect card only to hover over it with a pen struggling to think of an appropriate message. And while we’re often flooded with inspiration during our commute or when we’re in the shower, it’s often the way that when it comes down to it, we just can’t find the words. Cue major frustration.

To help you out, we thought we’d cover every message you could possibly need to write in a wedding card, whether it’s for your best friend, a family member or just an acquaintance. Depending on the couple, you may want to stick to religious or traditional wording, a sentimental or a fun message, so we’ve got all that covered. All you need to do is skim through the list until you find the right message for you – you are more than welcome.

If you’re going to a wedding or two this summer, chances are that as well as the perfect guest outfit, you’ve already found the perfect greeting card to congratulate the couple. But we know you’ve got enough on your plate ticking off items on your wedding checklist to spend ages agonising over what to write.

So, grab your carefully chosen card and a pen, you’re going to want to jot down your favourite message!


Formal wedding wishes

  • Wishing you love and happiness on your wedding day and for your new life together.
  • May your joining together bring you a lifetime of happiness.
  • May the love you share today grow stronger as you grow old together.
  • With warmest wishes on your wedding day and always.
  • There is no couple more deserving of a joyful and loving wedding day as you two.


Religious wedding wishes

  • May God shower your new lives together with many blessings.
  • Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! -1 Corinthians 13:4-8
  • Mazel Tov on your wedding day!
  • May God bless your marriage together as He did your courtship.
  • Praying and wishing happiness to the new Mr & Mrs (surname).


Casual wedding wishes

  • We love you, you beautiful people, congrats!
  • Wishing you a long and happy marriage.
  • So happy to celebrate with our favourite couple on their big day.
  • Here’s to a fun-filled, happy marriage!


Funny wedding wishes

  • On your wedding day, you two became one. Does that mean I get two birthday presents from you every year?
  • Holy s*** you’re married! Congratulations to our favourite couple.
  • Congratulations, you two weirdos were made for each other!
  • Woohoo you got married! Wishing you two lovebirds a lifetime of Netflix binging.


Wedding wishes for your best friend

  • To my best mate, I’m so thrilled to be celebrating with you on your big day. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness.
  • I am so honoured to be part of your wedding day, I can’t think of a more loving couple.
  • I can’t believe my best friend is getting married! I can’t think of anyone who deserves an awesome day more than you.
  • You’re an actual married couple! So happy for you two, I know you will have the best life together.


Wedding wishes for a family member

  • Congratulations on your wedding day – and welcome to the family, [name of person your family member is marrying]!
  • We are so happy to celebrate your special day with you, what a wonderful addition to the family!
  • Today, we add one more member to our family and we couldn’t be happier. Congrats!
  • Congratulations on your marriage! Today we join two wonderful families together and we couldn’t be happier.


Wedding wishes for your brother or sister

  • I’ve always dreamt of having a sister and now I have one, I couldn’t be happier for the both of us.
  • It seems like only yesterday we were planning our dream wedding as kids, and now the day has finally come. I am so happy for you.
  • Congratulations! You bring my brother/sister so much happiness and I’m so happy to celebrate with you today.
  • To my baby sister/brother, I can’t believe you’re getting married. Bursting with happiness for your and your new husband/wife.
  • Hehe, she/he’s your responsibility now, good luck! Just kidding, you’ll be SO happy together.


Wedding wishes for your son or daughter

  • To our wonderful daughter/son, many congratulations on your wedding day. We wish you a lifetime of happiness.
  • We could not be prouder of you now that you have embarked on a new journey with your beautiful wife/husband. May the future be bright!
  • We know we are not losing a son/daughter but are gaining a son/daughter, and we could not be happier.
  • Best wishes to our son/daughter and our new daughter-in-law/son-in-law on this joyous occasion.


Wedding wishes for a parent

  • To mum/dad, wishing you every happiness on your big day.
  • Mum/dad, we love you so much and (name of stepparent), we couldn’t be happier to welcome you in the family.
  • (name of stepparent) you make my mum/dad so happy, and we are delighted to celebrate with you today.
  • I’m so happy that you found a partner to share your life with, congratulations.
  • I couldn’t be happier for the both of you.


Wedding wishes for a co-worker

  • So honoured to be sharing your special day with you, congratulations on your new adventure.
  • Thank you for inviting me to share this day with you and your family. Best wishes for your future together.
  • Wishing you a lifetime of happiness.


Wedding wishes if you’re including a gift with the card

  • Here’s a little something to start your life together.
  • Have a bottle of champagne on your honeymoon on us!
  • Please find a little gift from us to celebrate your wedding day.

Now all you have to worry about is what to write in your wedding thank you cards!

WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: Wedding quotes - wedding wishes quotes - wedding wishes quote

As these funny marriage quotes will tell you, raising kids can be tough on any marriage. You'll probably want to know what these couples wish they'd known.

humorous wedding wishes quotes
Written by Douhn
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