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Graduation words of wisdom funny
September 28, 2018 Anniversary Wishes 1 comment

These funny graduation quotes encapsulate just what it's all about. The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don't do it.

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Tips to recent grads make for an interesting read. Below is our collection of favorites. Among the humorous and the witty, hopefully, you’ll find something you like in all of our topics for that fun loving graduate you know.

32 Funny Graduation Quotes by Famous Folks

  1. You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
    David Barry
  2. If at first you don’t succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
    Harry Banks
  3. Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.
    Al Bernstein
  4. In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.
    Tom Bodett
  5. The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
    Sarah Brown
  6. I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes – which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
    Art Buchwald
  7. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
    Jim Carrey
  8. Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
    Winston Churchill
  9. Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.
    Ellen DeGeneres
  10. Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.
    T.S. Eliot


  1. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
    W.C. Fields
  2. As you set off into the world, don’t be afraid to question your leaders. But don’t ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky.
    Will Ferrell
  3. You may build a building or hit someone over the head. The choice is yours.
    Jodie Foster
  4. When I was here there was still a requirement that students had to swim 50 yards to graduate…because Harry Elkins Widener had drowned with the sinking of the Titanic. And it made me very grateful at the time that he had not gone down in a plane crash.
    Barney Frank
  5. Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other.
    Benjamin Franklin
  6. My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.
    Paul Getty
  7. You know, I’m sick of following my dreams man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with them later.
    Mitch Hedberg
  8. I didn’t go to college, but if I did, I would’ve taken all my tests at a restaurant, ’cause the customer is always right.
    Mitch Hedberg
  9. On behalf of frogs, fish, pigs, bears and all of the other species who are lower than you on the food chain, thank you for dedicating your lives to saving our world and our home.
    Kermit the Frog
  10. The Lord gave us two ends: one to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most.
    Ann Landers

Check out Great Gifts for College Students.


  1. Whoever invented spray cheese had to have been a Harvard guy.
    Seth MacFarlane
  2. I’ve never studied anything formally. I was excluded from school at the age of 17, so I am an autodidact, which is a word that I have taught myself.
    Alan Moore
  3. A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success.
    Robert Orben
  4. Try putting your iPhones down every once in a while and look at people’s faces.
    Amy Poehler
  5. A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.
    Theodore Roosevelt
  6. My favorite animal is the turtle. The reason is that in order for the turtle to move, it has to stick its neck out.
    Dr. Ruth
  7. I too turned to Webster’s Dictionary and it defined Harvard University as a season for gathering crops.
    Andy Samburg
  8. Our school was so tough, the student newspaper had an obituary column.
  9. The school of experience will repeat the lesson if you flunked the first time.
  10. This wasn’t like High School Musical at all.
  11. Well, I’m not usually one for speeches – Goodbye!
  12. A woman’s reach should exceed her grasp, or what’s a heaven for?
    Kurt Vonnegut

Check this out: Congratulations Graduation Messages

Tip: Play to your audience. Sometimes graduation quotes might work for one person who likes a laugh, and other times not for folks who are more serious. Ask yourself, does the recipient have a good sense of humor?

25 Funny Graduation Quotations for College and High School

  1. If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
    Milton Berle
  2. Be Santa Claus when you can.
    Jimmy Buffett
  3. Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what’s going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.
    Stephen Colbert
  4. You will never become a howling success by just howling.
    Bob Harrington
  5. I was blessed with a mother who was in a constant state of wonder…And whenever I’d complain or be upset about something, my mother had the same advice: “Darling, change the channel. You are in control of the clicker. Don’t replay the bad, scary movie.
    Arriana Huffington
  6. Life has a very simple plot: first you’re here and then you’re not.
    Eric Idle
  7. If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
    William Lyon Phelps
  8. Don’t treat your heart like an action figure wrapped in plastic and never used.
    Amy Poehler
  9. When things go wrong, don’t go with them.
    Elvis Presley
  10. Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.
    Arnold Schwarzenegger
  11. You have brains in your head – You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
    Dr. Seuss
  12. Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day, and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
    Homer Simpson

The Best

  1. The best revenge is massive success.
    Frank Sinatra
  2. The road to success is always under construction.
    Lily Tomlin
  3. Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
  4. Put your future in good hands – your own.
  5. God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
  6. Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
  7. The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
  8. If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling.
  9. Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.
  10. You will never see a U-haul behind a hearse. You can’t take it with you.
    Denzel Washington
  11. Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
    Earl Wilson
  12. I couldn’t wait for success. I went ahead without it.
    Jonathan Winters
  13. It doesn’t matter that your dream came true if you spent your whole life sleeping.
    Jerry Zucker

If you have any suggested additions, please let us know. Thanks!

Graduation Images and Memes

Fun Graduation Sayings from Parents

  • Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when look back, everything is different.
    C.S. Lewis
  • The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.
    Jon Stewart
  • Congrats on getting through the easiest part of life.
  • All that stands between a graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder.
  • Graduation is a tough day for parents. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come back home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years, they are unemployed.
  • You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.
    Benjamin Franklin

Funny Quotes for Sister

  • Congratulations on four years of pretending your third pick school was your first choice.
  • Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.
    Neil Gaiman
  • The fact that no one understands you doesn’t make you an artist.
  • Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
  • A man of genius is privileged only as far as he is genius. His dullness is as insupportable as any other dullness.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • We’d like to apply for a refund on your college education.
  • So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.
    Bill Watterson – Creator of Calvin and Hobbes comic strip
Tip: Use a humorous graduation quotes for photo captions on Instagram and Facebook, in photo books, texts, emails and more.

Funny Graduation Quotes

  • Don’t take life too seriously, nobody makes it out alive.
    Elbert Hubbard
  • And if you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.
    Neil Gaiman
  • Tommy: Ya know, a lot of people go to college for ten years.
    Richard: Yeah, they’re called doctors.
    Tommy Boy (the movie)
  • The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.
  • Friends and classmates are God’s way of apologizing for your relatives.
  • A big shoutout to all of the sidewalks in our town. They kept me off the streets.
  • I graduated so now I’m like smart and stuff.

Witty Graduation Sayings for Friends

  • Experience is the only school from which no one graduates.
  • I would’ve gone to Hogwarts but my ACT score was too low.
  • You can’t get to the top by sitting on your bottom.
  • You know that point at your graduation ceremony where everyone tosses up their caps? Isn’t it great that we all celebrate how smart we are by throwing sharp pointy objects in the air?

College Quotes

  • I can’t wait to hear your name horribly mispronounced at the graduation ceremony.
  • Without Google and Wikipedia, would we even be celebrating your graduation today?
  • Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
    Will Rogers
  • I lost a bet because you graduated.
  • We always knew you’d barely graduate.
  • We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
    Oscar Wilde


Funny Sayings for the Graduate

  • Worry is like a rocking chair — it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.
    Erma Bombeck
  • The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.
  • People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
    Isaac Asimov
  • You’re going to fall down, but the world doesn’t care how many times you fall down, as long as it’s one fewer than the numbers of times you get back up.
    Aaron Sorkin
  • So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track.
    Ed Helms

Funny Quotes About School

  • School is learning things you don’t want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn’t know, while working toward a future you don’t know will ever come.
    Dave Kellet
  • A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.
    Theodore Roosevelt
  • During a test, students look up for inspiration, down in desperation and left and right for information.
  • As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.
    Cokie Roberts
  • High School looks so much cooler on TV.
  • There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job to be done: school and prison.
    William Glasser
  • Student: Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
    Teacher: Well, of course not.
    Student: I didn’t do my homework.
  • Group projects make me understand why Superman works alone.


Hopefully these selection might inspire you, friends and family. They’re great for graduation, an educator or graduates.

1 – Graduating Wishes

2 – Card Messages

3 – Quotations

4 – You’re Here – Funny Graduation Quotes

5 – Inspirational

6 – College

7 – High School

8 – Congratulations Quotations

9 – What to write in graduation cards

To Share is Divine...

Words of Wisdom for High School Graduates. May 25, 2018 · CLASSMATES FUN . Whether high school was five years ago or 50, you've most likely heard at.

35 Funny Graduation Quotes

graduation words of wisdom funny

The life of a college student is a special time where one gets to acquire all the knowledge of the world we live in. Many of us enter a university as a shy individual afraid of the shortcomings that await us.

Once we open ourselves to a wonderful friendship with our colleagues, that’s when we truly get to sit on the rollercoaster ride and have an adrenaline rush of emotions.

While life is a bundle of joy and sadness, certain magnificent people have caught these precious academic moments and frozen them into powerful phrases that have lasted through time. These quotes have recently been given the tag — Graduation Quotes.

They are aptly named as they give confidence to students and can provide us with the thought process that will forever remain in our minds.


What are Graduation Quotes?

We all need that extra push when our aspirations have run out of gas. Graduation quotes are meaningful phrases put together to evoke feelings of inspiration and to awaken our ambitions that are locked deep within our minds. These quotes act as a shield to protect students from the constant negativity that is thrust upon their academic and personal lives.

When the mind is clear, no amount of external force can extinguish our aim. Hence, graduation quotes were specifically compiled to help students chase their dreams and live out their knowledge. Much of the quotes were spoken by historic figures and individuals that hold great influence on the younger generation.

When and Why are Graduation Quotes Utilized?

The sole purpose of graduation quotes to exist is to fill the empty soul of a student’s life with ambition and aspiration. Without a goal, a student can end up ruining their life with depression and other negative solutions. A simple and powerful phrase can change the way they think and act and hence, graduation quotes were utilized to bring back the positivity and be an eternal teacher when needed.

If the student idolizes a certain figure, by taking their words into consideration, the student can reshape their aspiration and motivate themselves to achieve their goals. By introducing prominent and influential people, the student is introduced to new ways of thinking and solving challenges without resorting to suicide and other demotivating acts.

Graduation Quotes have a variety of utilization to demonstrate brilliance

Graduation quotes aren’t necessarily meant for students but can be utilized by individuals of all ages. Knowledge isn’t something that is learned from within the four walls of an institute, it thrives around us and waits to be understood. Through these meaningful quotes, we unlock the doors to understanding the value of knowledge and begin a journey to become valuable members of society.

Graduation quotes are generally utilized in social-media platforms, magazines, museums, etc. to spread the thought process to a large audience. Many students have even utilized a graduation quote in their yearbook album to showcase their unique perspective on life.

During exams, a simple quote can awaken the motivation we need to achieve greater grades and we quickly understand the importance of succeeding in life through knowledge.

To raise your spirits up a notch, here is a video containing 12 inspiring quotes for students to deeply consider.


1. A world where men ran half our homes and women ran half our institutions would be just a much better world. — Sheryl Sandberg

The quote implies that the world would truly be a wondrous place if gender equality became a reality. It goes on to state that men should take equal responsibility in taking care of their home while women should also have a hand in running the business operations of the company. It signifies the necessity of role reversal.

2. Don’t ever confuse the two, your life and your work. The second is only part of the first. — Anna Quindlen

The phrase signifies that although work is important to our existence, it’s second only to life. Life takes precedence over long working hours and not being able to spend precious time with our families. Money is meaningless if you cannot fully experience the pleasure of life.

3. Your life is your story, and the adventure ahead of you is the journey to fulfill your own purpose and potential. — Kerry Washington

Let no one else dictate the terms of your life, you understand yourself much better than the rest. If you have a passion, follow it to the end of the world if need be. Life is full of adventures and every passion opens the door to various opportunities.

4. Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions. — Albert Einstein

Every time you close your eyes and visualize a happy moment, it brings a smile to your face. As humans, we have the potential to make a mental image into reality by sheer hard work and effort. Never kill your dreams and aim for the stars.

5. Graduation is not the end; it’s the beginning. — Senator Orrin Hatch

While most students think their journey is complete on the last day of graduation, the truth is — the journey has only just begun. Now you begin to enter the real world and utilize the skills learned through your graduation years and put them to test.

6. The fireworks begin today. Each diploma is a lighted match. Each one of you is a fuse. — Edward Koch

By bringing the lighted match closer to the fuse, the countdown for a grand celebration of fireworks begins. The phrase translates to a student receiving his or her diploma and being over the moon in celebration.

7. What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the human soul. — Joseph Addison

Education provides the much-needed clarity to an otherwise empty mind. We wouldn’t pass a second glance at a block of marble as we pass it, but if we were to look at a magnificent sculpture, we would certainly spend several minutes admiring the beauty of it.

Similarly, education adds personality and intelligence to an individual’s life and he converts himself from a boring individual to a charming personality.

8. Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today. — Malcolm X

Without education, we wouldn’t know how to perform advanced calculations or procure the knowledge to solve the challenges of the future.

Hence, every student needs to be trained and educated to equip themselves with the best of skills to ensure their future remains bright and insured.

9. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. — Steve Jobs

Time is a ticking time bomb for the human body. It’s a resource that expends itself with or without our permission. Hence, compared to money and any other resource on the planet, time is extremely valuable. We need to utilize our time by absorbing knowledge and aim to become outstanding figures in society.

10. It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default. — J.K. Rowling

In life, we have two ways to live — we either go out into the open world and face the challenges while enduring risk or we cower in fear while hiding from the dangers of life and tell ourselves that tomorrow is another day to start.

Life is an adventure and should be lived without fear and with the aim of accomplishing our goals. With the right education and knowledge, we can minimize our risks and experience the joy of life.

11. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. — Dr. Seuss

If you are someone that is afraid to do what you love because of what society thinks, remember that people who love and protect you will always continue to support you.

It doesn’t matter if society accepts you or not, in the end, what matters is you get to do what your heart wants and the people that matter in your life, continue to love you.

12. Now go, and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for you being here. Make good art. — Neil Gaiman

Mistakes are a part of life, they are a stepping stone to achieving the greater things that life has to offer. If you’re afraid of mistakes, you will never reap success.

However, if you want to taste success, then go ahead and indulge in making mistakes and not thinking too much of it. After all, the evolution of life isn’t perfect, there are plenty of mistakes to be found in nature itself.

13. When you take risks, you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important. — Ellen DeGeneres

Count your mistakes as well as your rewards. As an individual, it’s obvious that mistakes aren’t something to be remembered often and should be forgotten as quickly.

But failure is just as important as success, it teaches you to never repeat the same mistake twice and this helps you grow as a person every day.

14. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. — Henry David Thoreau

If you have a passion, then put it on paper and create a checklist to achieve it. Every individual should have the freedom to chase their dreams, being fearful can cause a lot of regret down the years. Hence, don’t be afraid to have a little fun and life your life to the fullest.

15. Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out. — Art Linkletter

You’ve often been a witness to people complaining about how unfair life was to them and that they have been dealt a bad hand. Life is always going to be unfair unless we make a stand for it.

There is no use complaining over spilled milk, it’s best to dust yourself off and count the blessings in our life and make full use of what we have.

16. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. — Kyle Chandler

There are often optimistic individuals who don’t do much and wait for an opportunity to knock at their door. Unfortunately, the wait could be a very long time for such individuals and by the time opportunity presents itself, it would be too late.

It’s important to create opportunities for ourselves by going out into the real world and make a career out of our lives.

17. If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito. — Betty Reese

While a mosquito is a small insect, it can give us a lifetime worth of trouble in a dark room where we are unable to see the pesky scoundrel.

Similarly, our current situation might look small when compared to that of our dreams but by chasing towards it, we can eventually prove our worth in the long run.

18. Take pride in how far you’ve come. Have faith in how far you can go. But don’t forget to enjoy the journey. — Michael Josephson

During our lifetimes, it’s important to step back and marvel at all the events that made us what we are today. The small joys and distresses have been life-changing and it’s important to give yourself a pat on the back for coming this far. It’s also equally important in having faith in yourself to achieve even more success in the future.

19. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. — Mark Twain

Life is like an open sea, people would rather anchor their ship by the dock and marvel at other ships in the distance.

You have a chance to join the others in open waters, you just need to pull up the anchor by driving your ambitions and set sail for a world of adventure that awaits you. Life is about exploration, dreams, and discovering happiness like that of a ship.

20. Intelligence plus character—that is the goal of true education. — Martin Luther King Jr.

Education isn’t just about acquiring knowledge and gaining intellect. A man or woman should seek to improve their character and personality by becoming better individuals in society. Make a mark in your career, help your fellow brethren, or win a sports game, education shows a person how to live.

21. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better. — JK Rowling

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could magically change our life with the touch of a wand? While many individuals don’t believe in the magic of having a fairy tale ending, the magic happens within each one of us. Our hard work and imagination is all the magic we need to build a better world and work towards a conservative future.

22. What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

People are usually found recollecting fragments of the past or dream big of the future, the real strength lies in our capability and our willpower to change the present. Once we thrust our minds to accomplish a goal, anything can be achieved.

23. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go. — Dr. Seuss

We have the power to control our thoughts and movement, there isn’t anything we can’t do unless we restrict ourselves from doing it. Free your mind and let it wander through imagination, find the thing that you want most and then prepare your physical body to achieve it.

24. We may live in an age of instant messaging, instant gratification and Instagram, but there is no way to short-circuit the path to success. — Tory Burch

While the future looks bright with convenient access to all forms of entertainment and career options, there is something that can’t be designed to be inside an app — our success.

There isn’t any secret app that can recreate success, nor can we find a shortcut to achieve success in the future. To achieve it — we need to take small steps and work towards our goals.

25. Instruction ends in the schoolroom, but education ends only with life. — Frederick W. Robertson

Although our days in the university may soon come to an end, the knowledge we acquire through education stays with us for the rest of our lives. Utilizing this knowledge, we need to become responsible citizens and play our part in society.

26. You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world. — Tom Brokaw

While education can get you a great job and set you up for a lavish lifestyle, it isn’t why it truly exists. Education was created with the main goal to change the way the world functions— to decrease crime, to eradicate poverty, and to enjoy a peaceful existence.

27. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. — Benjamin Franklin

A small trickle of information every day is like an investment that grows into a fountain of knowledge over a period. Spend time in acquiring new skills as a hobby and these skills will surely help you in your future goals.

28. The only thing you can do in this life is to pursue your passions, celebrate your bloopers and never stop following your fear. — Grace Helbig

Life is a comedy of errors that people learn from and develop into better individuals. Life has a simple goal and that is to free your mind from stress and celebrate both your accomplishments and your failure. It’s what makes you — human.

29. Every person you meet knows something you don’t; learn from them. — H Jackson Brown Jr.

Never underestimate the type of people you meet, everyone has something useful to impart even if they don’t look the part. It’s necessary to maintain an open-minded nature and try and understand the other person’s opinion. Knowledge can be acquired from anywhere, even in a cave — it’s where we humans have evolved from.

30. If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it. — William Arthur Ward

No dream is too big that you can’t reach for it, if your imagination can create a mental picture, you can surely make it a reality. If you have a dream of owning a yacht and sailing the Mediterranean seas, then maybe it’s time to begin with some swimming classes and move up one goal at a time.

31. Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

While many successful men leave their trails for others to follow in their footsteps, it takes great courage for someone to start their own trail and make a successful path. Be unique in your endeavors, if society laughs at you for starting something new, let them. Soon they will bask in your glory when you’ve successfully accomplished what you set out to do.

32. Creativity is intelligence having fun. — Albert Einstein

Creativity is the ember of our intelligence, without creativity, there is no room for intellect. Similarly, playing around with our imagination can bring forth a great idea that we can use to project our goals. It’s always fun to imagine new and distinct things.

33. You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets. — Arnold Schwarzenegger

Trying to climb a ladder with our hands in our pockets is an extremely frustrating thing to do and can even hurt us. Instead, try using both your hands to hold the ladder steady and climb the ladder of your dreams and success in a confident manner.

34. Nothing can dim the light that shines from within. — Maya Angelou

Society can create a negative effect on our dreams and aspirations. Our aspiration is like a warm light that comes from without our soul, this light remains with us for the rest of our lives. We can either burn mighty like the wings of a phoenix or it can remain confined inside us. The bottom line is no one can extinguish our dreams.

35. Nothing is impossible. The word itself says ‘I’m possible!’ — Audrey Hepburn

And finally, to end the list we have one of the world’s most popular quotes. The statement shows the two different mentalities. On one side a person who is ready to quit who sees “Impossible” while a successful person sees the same word as “I’m possible”.

If you still looking for more quotes, here’s a video highlighting a set of memorable quotes that you can utilize in your day-to-day life.


If you know someone with a stomach full of butterflies due to an examination they are about to take, try introducing them to a few quotes and relieving them of their anxiety. Quotes have a way of inducing relaxation when we read them, hence, it’s necessary to get into the habit of reading at least one quote every morning.

Beginning the day with positivity can usually lead to a pleasurable existence. Every graduate looks for fresh opportunities and the challenges that lie ahead in life. Graduation quotes can help an individual’s stressful mind in coping with the struggles of day-to-day life with their inspiring messages.

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20 Inspirational Graduation Quotes for Grad Day

graduation words of wisdom funny

35 Funny Graduation Quotes

Funny graduation quotes to bring a smile to the face of the new graduate. Share these with the new graduates, also some cute quotes to share in a friends yearbook to make them smile.

Funny but also inspirational and full of words of wisdom for the graduate as they start the next chapter of their life.

  1. "If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito." Bette Reese
    Make A Difference
    A funny image, but one that is great to inspire confidence to the new graduate!

  2. Patience! The windmill never strays in search of the wind. Andy J. Sklivis

  3. "My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives. The stories you are about to live are the ones you will be telling your children, and grandchildren, and therapists." Lin-Manuel Miranda

  4. "Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together." Napoleon Hill
    It is important for the new graduate to realize if they want big pay then with that comes responsibility. Any leader reading this may think this quote is funny but also very true.

  5. "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." Muhammad Ali
    Inspirational Quotes for Students

  6. "I mean we all fly. Once you leave the ground, you fly. Some people fly longer than others." Michael Jordan
    Funny Quotes

  7. "Prom night was one of the worst nights of my life. My girlfriend looked fantastic … The problem was, so did her date." Deion Sanders
    Funny Quotes about Life

  8. "Nothing is going to be handed to you. You have to make things happen." Florence Griffith-Joyner
    Short Quotes
    Funny but true!

  9. "It is not the size of the arena in which you find yourself that counts; it is what you do with it." Dr. Irene C. Kassorla, Go For It!
    Inspirational Quotes

  10. If learning is like a sponge, don't ever stop soaking it up. Never stop learning. Catherine Pulsifer
    Short Graduation Quotes

  11. Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers
    Moving Forward

  12. "Struggling to decide what to do after graduation is, and always will be, a sort of rite of passage to the next phase of your life." Gloria Davidson, When Graduation Spits You Out
    College Graduation

  13. "Don't ever rob a bank. Enjoy life. Have fun. Choose to be happy now; don't wait until you're 'successful,' because honestly, I was as happy when we were unemployed and scrounging around for a buck." Peter Farrelly
    Funny but wise words!

  14. "Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open." Thomas Dewar
    Funny Poems

  15. "It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock." Woody Allen

  16. "Remember, when it come to applying for jobs, books ARE judged by their cover!" Patricia Akins, Things They Don't Teach You In High School
    High School Graduation

  17. "Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed." Erma Bombeck
    Parents would read this and smile, but also agree with its thought.

  18. "Applying common sense helps us find simple and reasonable ways of doing things. Many refer to this as the KISS method, 'Keep It Simple Simon.'" Henry Adkins, Common Sense:Your Way To Success
    Common Sense

  19. "We don't stop going to school when we graduate." Carol Burnett
    Poems about Life

  20. "The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen." Sarah Brown

  21. "Each year at graduation, I am obliged to offer a few 'brief remarks,' which are usually not as brief as they should be." James E. Ryan, Wait, What

  22. "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." Milton Berle
    These funny words by this famous comedian Milton Berle are ones that are good advice.

  23. "Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honors!" Louisa May Alcott

  24. "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." Frank A. Clark
    Poems about Life

  25. "It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste." Henry Ford

  26. "Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." Ralph Waldo Emerson
    Words of Encouragement
    A funny but true quote.

  27. "Just remember, you can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets." Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Encouraging Poem

  28. "The man who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow is uneducated the day after." Newton D. Baker

  29. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss
    Be Yourself

  30. "A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success." Robert Orben
    Success Poem

  31. "The world does not pay for what a person knows. It pays for what a person does with what she knows." Hyacinth Mottley, Words of Wisdom
    Actions Speak Louder Than Words

  32. "A river cuts through rock not because of its power but because of its persistence." Proverb

  33. "Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated." Garry Trudeau
    Cute Quotes

  34. "Every minute you spend in planning saves 10 minutes in execution; this gives you a 1,000 percent Return on Energy!" Brian Tracy
    Positive Energy Quotes

  35. "The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate." Doug Larson

funny graduation quote: always borrow money from a pessimist. he won't Offer your graduate some valuable words of wisdom to guide them.

Graduation Sayings

graduation words of wisdom funny

If you've been asked to speak at a high school or college graduation or celebration, you may be searching for the perfect icebreaker. But how do you get a group of serious-minded students and their parents to crack a smile? Fortunately, plenty of famous (and not-so-famous) writers and orators have been in the same situation before you, and have come up with some clever, witty quotes to borrow.

Funny Quotes About Education and Learning

High schools and colleges take academics very seriously, but there is a funny side to learning!

One thing about the school of experience is that it will repeat the lesson if you flunk the first time.

George Foreman
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.

Oscar Wilde
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught.

Theodore Roosevelt 
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car. But if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.

Funny Quotes About Graduation

Graduation is a formal event with lots of pomp and circumstance. Seen through the right lens, though, it is pretty funny!

Robert Orben
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Gary Bolding
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.

Doug Larson
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

James D'arcy
It was only when I finished the course and left my graduation diploma on the bus that I realized I'd become an actor.

Garry Trudeau
Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

Robert Goheen
If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you.

The tassel’s worth the hassle!

Erma Bombeck 
Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.   

Jon Stewart
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.

Bill Watterson 
So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.

Funny Quotes About Succeeding in Life

Most commencement speakers have something to say about success in life and the road ahead. Here are some quotes to add a little humor to your sage advice.

You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

Ed Helms
So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you're on the right track.

Frank A. Clark 
If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.

All that stands between the graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder.    

Ellen DeGeneres 
Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.   

When you share these inspirational graduation quotes you're giving a gift of wisdom, culled from some of the smartest, funniest, most memorable speakers of all.

graduation words of wisdom funny
Written by Tashicage
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