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Funny words of wisdom for newlyweds

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Funny words of wisdom for newlyweds
March 16, 2019 Anniversary Wishes 2 comments

Funny Wedding Card | Getting Married Card | Funny Engagement Card Groom, Funny Advice For The Newlyweds Wedding Words of Wisdom Cards Template.

Before we got married, we sought advice for newlyweds from all the married couples we admired. And because of the marriage advice we received, adjusting to married life was easier for us.

So today, we want to share our best marriage advice for newlyweds with you. You can use them to build a strong foundation for your marriage.

Let’s get started!

Best marriage advice for newlyweds

1. Develop a plan to build a strong foundation for your marriage with your spouse.

This is very critical for your marriage. Without a strong marriage foundation, your marriage could easily end in a divorce.

Spend some time with your spouse and develop a plan to build a strong foundation for your marriage.

Don’t know where to start? Read these articles.

2. Learn how to communicate with your spouse. 

Communication problems are one of the common issues a lot of married couples face every single day.

Learn how to communicate effectively with your spouse as soon as possible. Because without effective communication, you will encounter a lot of problems in your marriage.

And from our experience, communicating effectively is key to the success of your marriage.

3. Learn from married couples who practice what they teach. 

If you hear someone giving good advice to newlyweds, listen.

But make your own decisions, apply what works for you and your marriage.

4. Have reasonable and realistic marriage expectations. 

You see, the way you were raised is different from the way your spouse was raised.

What you expect to be the “norm” might not be for your spouse. Discuss your marriage expectations, be realistic, and compromise with each other.

This includes your gender roles in the marriage. And don’t expect your marriage to be like what you see in the movies.

5. Talk about everything.

And anything with your spouse.

If you don’t know where to start, use these thought-provoking conversation starters for couples.

6. Learn how to adjust to each other and married life.

Adjusting to marriage won’t be easy for every couple.

For example, adjusting to living in together in the same house, your new name change, sharing household responsibilities, combining finances, etc. can be a challenging time for couples.

If you are having difficulty adjusting to married life, read some of the articles here.

7. Trust each other. 

You can’t have a healthy marriage without trust.

Trusting your spouse is very critical to succeed as a married couple. Take the time to build, maintain and create boundaries for both of you and your marriage that will encourage the growth of trust and safety.

8. Choose a theme for your family.

A family theme is a vision for your marriage and family.

Click here to learn how to choose your family theme today.

9. Raising children is not easy!

We recommend waiting at least one year to have kids. This will give you both enough time to adjust to married life while creating your new routines. But we understand, life happens!

10. Memorize this statement:

The first year is a learning and transitional period for your marriage!

Have a lot of patience.

11. Be independent and interdependent.

Make time for yourself so you can continue to do the things you are passionate about. Getting married doesn’t mean you should stop doing the things you love, but finding a way to incorporate it in a way that works for both of you.

Dedicate time to spend with your spouse so you can grow together as a couple. Choose one thing you can both do to connect and grow together every day.

Because you don’t want to wake up 10 years later and notice you have grown apart or are living like roommates.

You want to wake up each morning feeling refreshed, happy, and excited about living another day with your spouse.


Create a list of fun things you can do together as a couple.

12. The grass isn’t greener on the other side.

It’s greener where you water it. Keep your marriage the priority. Not happy with a part of it? Talk to your spouse and come up with ideas to help grow that area together.

13. Learn about your new family.

And how best you can relate to them.

When your spouse has issues with your family members, it best you handle them yourself. You know your family members better than your spouse and vice versa.

Don’t forget to set boundaries in your marriage too.

14. Money matters!

Our best financial advice for newlyweds is to figure out your finances. Talk about your past financial history.

Your student loans, credit card debt, how you will file your taxes and spend your money.

Will you have joint or separate bank accounts? There is no his or her money, the two become one.

15. Learn to compromise with each other.

It can’t be your way all the time.

16. Forgive each other when you make a mistake.

And learn to not repeat the same mistake over and over again.

Your spouse can only take so much; they have their limits. This is also a way to build trust.

17. Divide and conquer your household chores.

Who does what? What other responsibilities do you have to share?

Think about the chores you both love and enjoy doing (or hate the least). Split these chores and do them diligently.

If you both dislike doing a particular chore(s), take turns doing it.

18. Commit to your marriage. 

Work on your marriage daily. Make sacrifices for each other.

Never take your spouse for granted.

Show and let your spouse know how grateful you are for them.

19. Be prepared for unexpected challenges.

In other words, life will hand you some lemons; make lemonade… or lemon bars-whatever works for your marriage!

There are will be unexpected challenges that will happen out of the blue. For example, being laid off at work, diagnosed for a terminal disease, death of a loved one, getting seriously injured, etc.

When you are faced with these difficult events, work together to overcome them. You are the perfect team!

20. Touch, hug and kiss each other as often as you can.

It will enhance your physical and emotional intimacy.

21. Talk about your financial goals.

Save money for a rainy day.

When making any big purchases like buying a car, a house, etc. discuss it with your spouse first.

And only go ahead to make the purchase if they agree.

Plan for the future.

22. Sex is important and vital.

Sex is a unique way that you get to connect with your spouse and no one else. Use that as a time to explore, and take your time.

We understand life is busy, sometimes you have opposite schedules, and kids add a wrench to sexy time. Scheduling can be helpful for some couples, reducing the chances of your marriage becoming sexless.

Oh, don’t forget to mix it up. 😉

Have you and your spouse had these 8 conversations about sex?

23. We recommend you don’t buy a house in your first year of marriage.

Our reason is simply because of the responsibilities that come with owning a house. And the marriage adjustments you have to make as a newlywed during your first year.

Also, buying a house after your first year could be the perfect gift for your first wedding anniversary.

24. Embrace changes to yourself, and your spouse.

From our experience, you will both change as you grow.

Your health, career, how you do certain things, the way you think, where to live, your view of the world, things you believe, way of parenting, and much more will change as you grow and learn more.

That said, these changes can make your marriage and life better… or worse. Spend time to learn, understand and communicate all the changes you go through as you experience them with each other.

So your spouse isn’t shocked to wake up one day living with a stranger. It’s another reason why open, honest, and effective communication is critical to the success of any marriage.

25. Be selective with who you share your struggles with.

When you have issues that arise in your marriage -and they will- choose a person to seek guidance from whom you respect and know they can be an unbiased third party.

You need a mediator, someone who will be able to give advice about the situation by seeing both sides.

Using family members can be tricky in these instances, especially with a lack of boundaries.

Use your intuition in these circumstances, and talk to your spouse beforehand. “If we have issues that come up in the future and I feel like I need advice, who would you be comfortable me speaking to about it outside of our marriage?”

This is just another way communication helps your marriage.

26. Change your vocabulary.

As you already know, for something new to come into our lives, we have to make room by getting rid of the old.

I become We. And You becomes Us.

Also, unless you’re ready to sign the papers, don’t use the “D” (divorce) word.

27. Have fun and enjoy your newlywed status.

You won’t be a newlywed forever. But let your newlywed bliss be lasting in your marriage.

The moment you say “I do” on your wedding day, you and your spouse become blissfully happy and excited about your future.

What happens from that moment onwards will determine how long this bliss will remain. Don’t let it fade away for any reason. The longer this bliss stays in your marriage and life, the happier you will both be as a married couple.

Every time you make a decision in how you react to something with your spouse will either cause you to grow together or push you farther apart.

28. Be proud of your spouse.

If you aren’t proud of your spouse, why did you get married in the first place?

29. Resolve your conflicts amicably.

Handle your conflicts, disagreements, arguments maturely and in a healthy way.

30. When you hear the statement “Just because you’re newlyweds…,” don’t let it discourage.

Or make you think your newlywed bliss will wear off after the first year.

As your marriage grows, it will become better, happier, and more lovely than it was in the beginning, If you both commit to working on your marriage.

31. Celebrate any wins, successes, awards, etc. together as a couple.

And have fun while you are at it!

Celebrate the small stuff as well as the big things.

Some funny advice for newlyweds

May all your ups and downs be under the sheets.

Always leave the toilet seat down.

Happy wife, happy life.

How a piece of simple marriage advice for newlyweds helped us

“You are on the same team. Either you win together, or you lose together.”

This simple, yet an essential piece of marriage advice we received made a big difference in our marriage.

You see, during our first year, especially in the tough times, we didn’t know how to communicate effectively with each other. We were overwhelmed with everything; the fighting, arguing, blaming each other, stress, etc. 

However, because of the marriage advice (above) we received as newlyweds, we were able to work together as a team on our communication struggles.

If you don’t have any couple to talk to, listen to the First Year Marriage Show podcast to learn from the first year stories of other married couples.

Even better, get a copy of our book for engaged and newly married couples, First Year of Marriage, to read today too.

Because this podcast and book will help you build a strong foundation for your marriage.

Note: We share many stories from our first year (the ups and downs, struggles, and much more) in our book.

Life is unpredictable!

Even though we received great marriage advice for newlyweds, it didn’t prevent us from having some really tough times that first year.

These tough times led to us seeking more marriage advice from marriage books, marriage podcasts, radio shows, etc.

Therefore, we highly recommend newly married couples check out this list of must-read books for newlyweds. Pick at least one of the books, buy or get it from your library, then read and apply what you learn.


Our best marriage advice for newlyweds

So what is the best marriage advice for couples? How do you know if the source you are receiving the marriage advice from is credible or not?

Adopt this rule of thumb that we use all the time: actions speak louder than words!

Learn from the married couples who have the healthy, happy and successful marriage you want for yours.

Because without themarriage advicewe received before and after getting married, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

And our marriage would most likely not be as healthy, happy, and fulfilling as it is today.

Marriage advise from couples and people in unhealthy relationships

What if the couple giving you advice doesn’t have a healthy marriage? What if the person is divorced or never been married? Should you listen to their advice for newlyweds?

The short answer is yes.

Listen to all the marriage advice you receive. But only apply the relevant ones or what you believe will be good for your relationship. Because bad marriage advice can easily ruin your marriage.

So ponder over every marital advice you receive to see how it can negatively impact your marriage before you apply it. Also, discuss it with your partner. As you already know, two heads are better than one; get your partners opinion.

On the other hand, great marriage advice if implemented can improve your marriage and help you become a better spouse. You might not want to hear it, but if you know it will improve your relationship, practice it.

For us, we don’t actively seek marital advice from couples who have an unhealthy relationship. Even if they have been married for a long time.

Final thoughts

We hope our words of wisdom will help you improve your marriage because it has helped us in many ways. 

Apply some, if not all of the newlywed advice we have shared with you in your marriage today. And you will be on your way to having a great marriage.

To all newly married couples, we say congratulations and welcome to married life!

Have fun, enjoy your lifelong companionship, and build the lasting marriage you desire.

Lastly, email us to let us know how our marriage advice for newlyweds has helped you and your relationship.

Enjoy your marriage, enjoy your life!

Your turn

What is the best marriage advice you received as a newlywed?


20 Marriage Lessons We Learned From Our First Year

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Surviving the First Year of Marriage

How to Change Your Name After Marriage

How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Fighting in 7 Simple Steps

P.S. Want to build a strong foundation for your marriage? Read this book today.

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These wise words and funny marriage quotes from some of the greatest wits of all 50+ years and are doling out advice (with a side of funny marriage quotes).

The Best Advice For Newlyweds

funny words of wisdom for newlyweds

It is that (excellent?) time of the year again when millions of couples around the world are getting ready to tie the knot. With many details to sort out like the number of guests, seating arrangements, the variety of menu, venue, flower arrangements, and much more it is necessary to keep in mind these funny words of wisdom for newlyweds to get a reprieve from all the tension and stress.

These funny words of wisdom for newlyweds will help  will help the grooms keep their wives happy

1. The most important rule of wedded bliss

The essential rule of marital bliss is to understand that there are two people in a marriage; one who is always right and the other is the husband. If you want to keep your wife happy, then it’s better to remember that whenever there is a disagreement, she is always right.

2. In marriage, you get what you see

One thing that’ll help make a strong foundation for a long and happy marriage is that don’t try to change your spouse. She will always fuss over her nail color or the fitting of her dress, and you will have to live with that while all those brides out there if you think that you can turn him into a better man you are sadly mistaken. Enjoy each other as you are!

3. Pack up and stash away your romance novels

These hilarious words of advice for newlyweds obviously concern the bride. Now that you are (finally) married it’s time to pack up your romance novels and enter the real world of smelly socks, different degrees of gross behavior and untidiness.

4. You should have eyes only for your wife

Now that you are married, other girls cease to exist for you. You should have eyes only for your wife. If you are not able to control your roving eye be discreet about it so your wife doesn’t catch you!

5. Toilet etiquettes will save your hide

These funny words of wisdom for newlyweds concern both the husband and the wife. Husbands, if you don’t want to start the next world war, it’s always advisable to leave the seat down after you have used the toilet and it’s essential for the wives to use the bathroom at least twenty minutes after your husband has done so to save your nose.

6. Time takes on a different meaning after marriage

If your husband says he’ll be home in an hour when you call him to find out for how long he will stay out with his friends, don’t be alarmed if he isn’t home even after three hours. Newlywed husbands should always keep a safety margin of one hour when your wife asks the time when you have to leave for a party or a dinner reservation. This rule doesn’t apply when you are visiting the in-laws as there is a hundred percent chance that she will be ready before you are!

7. Your girlfriend will change into someone else

The next words of wisdom for a newly married couple concern the husband. If you think your girlfriend won’t change after marriage, then you are in for a big surprise. It’s a fact that as soon as she has your ring on her finger, she will turn into a totally different person. She may become broody or temperamental, but you will have to live with it as you can do nothing about it.

The following funny words of wisdom for newlyweds will help the brides keep their husbands on their toes:

  • Whenever your husband starts to tell you about his horrible boss or the amount of work he had to do in a day nod and be sympathetic. Pretend that you are listening to him even if you have no interest in whatever he’s sharing with you.
  • Pick your fights wisely. Don’t worry about trivial stuff and focus on big issues like what kind of movie to watch.
  • If you want to get something (big or small) done around the house, don’t ask your husband. Play the damsel in distress card! Attempt to do it yourself and do it so badly that when he does it, he feels like a hero! Men love feeling needed.
  • Make sure to feed him before you ask him for something because men get cranky when they’re hungry. If you wish to effectively bend him to your will, you should cook him his favorite dish first, and then ask for what you want.

The secret to happiness

The above-mentioned funny words for wisdom for newlyweds should’ve taught you something, the secret to a happy marriage isn’t in material things. Couples who have the best of everything are not the most successful couples. Instead, it’s the couples who try to make the best of everything and work to be content with what they have, with having each other being the most important thing!

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Funny Marriage Quotes from Your Favorite Comedians

funny words of wisdom for newlyweds

You’re on funny wedding wishes and quotes, page 4 of 7.  See menu at bottom of page.

Funny wedding greetings can brighten up the newlyweds’ day and let them know, in a humorous way, that you’re happy for them. Life is too short to take everything dead serious. Weddings are joyous occasions – time to have some fun!

Funny Wedding Greetings

Being married is like any other job; it helps if you like your boss.

Let the fighting commence! Congratulations married couple.

It’s such a blessing to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Congratulations!

It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Let’s get ready to rumble! Congratulations wedding participants.

If it weren’t for marriages, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

We put the party in bridal party — Looking forward to your wedding. The Bridal Party.

There are three rings of marriage that form your gift: the engagement Ring, the wedding Ring, and the suffeRING.

A happy marriage depends on spouses saying this simple phrase, “Yes Dear.”

Congratulations on convincing your lovely bride to settle on you – Beauty and the Beast.

I couldn’t be happier for you signing your life away.

All dressed up and everywhere to go!

Sharing is caring…but sometimes enough is enough.

Tip: Check out these wedding ideas.

Humorous Ideas

Marriage is all about give and take – the more your give, the more he’ll take.

Congrats on your marriage. Just remember, happiness is a very over-rated feeling according to this author.

Marriage is about communication and compromise. She’ll be doing the communication and you’ll be doing the compromise.

More men get food poisoning from wedding cake than any other edible.

You might like: What to Write in a Wedding Card

Happy Greetings

A person is incomplete without a spouse, but you’re finished with one. Happy married life!

If the invitations suddenly disappeared, eloping is an option.

A blind wife and a deaf husband make for an ideal couple.

Your love inspired wedding was a glorious occasion. Congrats.

Your kids grow up and move out. Your husband never does. Just sayin’. Best wishes on your marriage.

Our wedding gift to you is two life preservers.

When two hearts love each other, don’t forget the prenuptial.

Look, I know a good travel agent if either of you changes your mind. If not, have a wonderful wedding!

Check out: Engagement Congratulations Messages

Seven bridal shower games, three helpful forms and a keepsake for the bride. Click on image for more info.

Funny Wedding Wishes

Getting married is a two-way street – do all you can to avoid head-on collisions. A life loved is precious.

They say opposites attract – If that’s the case this marriage could last for a very long time. Best wedding wishes.

Before you’re married, you will fall madly in love with each other. After you’re married, you will just be mad at each other. Oh well, best wishes on your wedding.

Marriage: Where “Yes Dear” are the magic words.

What do fun with the boys, out on the town and partying have in common. Three things you won’t be doing after the wedding. Good luck.

“Spending time with friends” will now be a distant memory.

From single to married, from available to busy, from no worries to no money — You sure you want to do this?

Like a well constructed house, this marriage is built to last. Think of jewelry on birthdays as your insurance.

Marriage is the equivalent of signing a marriage contract which does not give you the option of renewing it every year. Congratulations to a perfect pair.

Getting married is like a class on Shakespeare. You get a little comedy, some romance and a lot of tragedy. Congratulations.

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.

Funny Sayings

More wedding inspired sayings.

Looking forward to the “having” and the “holding.”

Bride:  We finish each others — Groom: Sentences!

When you love person, don’t hang wallpaper together.

Our life journey has just begun. Are we there yet?

Wedding Love – Honeymoon Love More!

Eat, drink and be married! Check!

If you know of any funny wedding greetings you’d like to share, please send them our way! Thanks.

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Every couple should read these marriage advice tips collected over 13 years. we've had so many people share wise advice and life experiences with us, which has helped After the Honeymoon: 10 Things All Newlyweds Experience 6 Common Relationship "Words Of Wisdom" You Should Ignore.

51 Hilarious Quotes on Love and Marriage That You Will Want in Your Wedding Speech

funny words of wisdom for newlyweds

76 Marriage Quotes

Let these marriage quotes be ones that you share with the person you love - the person you are spending the rest of your life with. Life is good when you find your soulmate and together the love you share makes life all the better!

  1. WHO WE MARRY is one of the most important decisions in life. One that will influence the level of happiness, growth, and success, like no other choice. Nathan Workman

  2. Marriage is over in an hour, and yet it takes a lifetime to be really married. E. Stanley Jones, Victorious Living
    Inspirational Quotes

  3. Marriage is another momentous life change. Choose right, and it might be the most positive decision you ever make. Patrick Foley

  4. Individually, we are one drop. together, we are an Ocean. Arshdeep Singh Samrala

  5. In other relationships, people are different entities but in marriage, the couple is considered as one. This is what makes marriage a different kind of bond. Mark McGrann

  6. Most couples think that love will make the world go around ... But the truth is, love is just one of the important factors you need to take care of. Dorothea Jackson, Relationship

  7. It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. Friedrich Nietzsche
    Friendship Poems

  8. A man and a woman together create the life. Nino Varsimashvili
    Quote of the Day

  9. Parenthood: That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage. Marcelene Cox
    Funny Inspirational Quotes

  10. They should face life challenges together, make decisions together and always act as one, because this is what the relationship makes them. Mark McGrann
    Romantic Poems

  11. My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me. Winston Churchill

  12. Marriage is a form of discipline involving two people committing to a certain lifestyle and set of boundaries. David Khalil, Principle 10

  13. In the art of marriage the little things are the big things. Wilfred Peterson

  14. There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. Martin Luther
    Famous Quotes about Life

  15. Marriage, at its core, is all about respect for the other person - and respect goes both ways. Dr. Kevin Leman, Have a New Husband by Friday
    Respect Quotes

  16. The essence of marriage is companionship, and the woman you face across the coffee urn every morning for ninety-nine years must be both able to appreciate your jokes and to sympathize with your aspirations. Elbert Hubbard, A Treasury of Insights, Inspirations, and Provocations
    Monday Inspiration

  17. What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories. George Eliot

  18. I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. Lord Byron

  19. I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together. Julia Roberts

  20. If I know what love is, it is because of you. Hermann Hesse
    Short Love Quotes

  21. Simply put, a marriage is not a marriage without the existence of two individuals who promised to love each other. Jessica Gardner
    Positive Attitude Quotes

  22. Don't hang on to small annoyances. Lisa Jacobson, 100 Ways to Love Your Husband

  23. Then if marriage is not a contract, what is it? It is an unconditional commitment into which a man and woman enter for life. H. Norman Wright, Communication

  24. As far as my experience of matrimony goes - I think it tends to draw you out of, and away from yourself. Charlotte Bronte

  25. God intends each of our marriages to be a way for us to be totally fulfilled, but we have to live as an example of Christ's love for us. Michael Omartian, The Power of a Praying Husband

  26. Marriage is a huge investment: of time, of energy and of emotion. Protect and keep contributing to your investment. Karen Gordon, How My Husband Keeps Me Happy

  27. Marriage is a beautiful relationship that unifies two individuals, binding them together through their commitment. Jennifer Smith; Aaron Smith, 31 Prayers For My Future Husband

  28. Marriage is about being a team. Elijah Davidson

  29. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:14 (NIV)
    Encouraging Bible Verses

  30. If there is any skill needed by both persons in a marriage, it is the skill of listening. John Savage, Listening & Caring Skills

  31. For most couples, the first event they plan together is their wedding. Lenny Platt

  32. When two people become one flesh by way of marriage, it is not only their hearts that are united, but their minds and souls as well. Julie Donner Andersen

  33. From the first, the Bible makes clear that marriage is a calling from God to care for, bless, and serve another. Adam Hamilton, Love to Stay Book
    Helping Others

  34. No matter what the two of you have to face, it is possible to get through it together as long as you both have confidence in the marriage and in one another. Tyler Green

  35. I promise to be by your side forever and for always. I love you. Author Unknown
    I Love You

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funny words of wisdom for newlyweds
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