Funny wedding wishes for the bride

A happily married couple will look through their wedding cards and guestbook entries for the rest of their lives. They’ll look back on their friend’s wedding wishes and sage advice with fondness, but why not make them look back on yours with laughter?

Make your wedding card or guestbook entry stand out from the crowd by using some of these funny wedding messages as a guideline. Here are 36 hilarious and funny marriage quotes, jokes, and pieces of advice you can pass on to the newlyweds–to–be!

Funny wedding messages about marriage

Wedding is the much-awaited event in every individual’s life. The beautiful and funny wedding wishes, wedding congratulations messages, happy married life wishes, and other wedding wishes from friends and families make the day even more special for the couple. Random wedding day wishes or wedding messages to the bride and groom will fail to create a lasting impression on the newlywed couple.

If your best friend is walking down the aisle, then simple wedding wishes messages will fail to bring that beautiful smile on her/his face. You need to be more creative and come up with some really funny wedding messages and wedding wishes quotes for them.

Wondering how to compose funny wedding wishes for best friend?

Just relax and pen down your thoughts in beautifully creative and funny words. As long as your wedding congratulations message is honest and heartfelt, your funny wedding messages can make your buddy smile just a little, and the wedding wishes quotes sound inspiring and positive to your friend, then your efforts will surely pay off.

But, if words do not come naturally to you, then refer back to this article for some of the best and funny wedding messages. The following wedding wishes quotes and messages are simple yet funny, and your friend will adore them for years to come.

Let’s have a look at them –

1. “I knew you two were madly in love with each other, but didn’t think that you’ll be mad enough to marry. Have a great life ahead.”
2. “To the man who couldn’t spring for drinks when he was out with the guys, but is now blowing up his money on his huge wedding, you have left no doubt that you love this girl/guy! Congratulations.”
3. “You’ve finally found someone who understands your weird jokes. Hold onto them forever!”
4. “There is nothing worse than a friend getting married. Now my parents have one more reason to coax me into getting married. Congratulations.”
5. “Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?”
6. “May you live each day like your last, and live each night like your first.”
7. “Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” – Mark Twain
8. “As Bill and Ted said, ‘Be excellent to each other.’“
9. “Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!”
10. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.”
11. “A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
12. “Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld
13. “In the words of Mindy Kaling: I don’t want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they’re dead meat. I want to see you guys high–five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun.”
14. “Getting married is like going to drama school. May there be more comedy than melodrama.”
15. “Being married is like any other job; it helps if you like your boss!”
16. “And now you two have officially become one: one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!”
17. “Why marry when jumping in front of a train is easier and faster?! Just kidding! Hope your wedding finds you smiling!”
18. “Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” —Megan Mullally
19. “May your day be extra special and fun – because tomorrow the hard work begins!”
20. “Getting married is like being in drama school. You get to practice everything from comedy to melodrama to tragedy. Congratulations on your journey to the theatre!”
21. “Today I have realized that life is not fair for single people like me. Until now I had to buy you a gift only once a year on your birthday. Now I have two birthdays plus a wedding anniversary to buy gifts for. You guys are getting expensive – but so worth it! Congratulations.”
22. “Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. You guys must be truly insane or MADLY in love.”
23. “What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday”
24. “They say that marriage is a great institution. And much like many types of institutions, you need to be crazy to get into it – Congratulations you kooks!”
25. “I hope you get so many wedding gifts that you don’t realize none are from me.”
26. “Some people marry for love. Some people marry for money. Some people just like getting gravy boats and other useless pieces of china.”
27. “In life, we should always keep our eyes wide open. However, after marriage, it‘s better to close them!”
28. “Saying I do while getting married is like blindly clicking on the I Accept checkbox while installing new software on your computer. You do it despite having no clue of what will come next. Congratulations on getting married.”
29. “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright”
30. “Why buy the cow? Maybe because every day the cow asks you when you’re going to buy it. And you live in a really small apartment with the cow and you can’t avoid that question at all. Also, the cow is way better at arguing than you are … But for real, why buy the cow? Let’s be real. Why buy the cow? Because you love her. You really do.” –John Mullaney
31. “Thanks for the free booze. Best wishes for a long, happy marriage!”
32. “Some future advice for the Groom: the most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it… once!”
33. “Congratulations on signing your life away!”
34. “Marriage is as easy as a walk in the park… Jurassic Park!”
35. “You haven’t just tied the knot with your wife today, you have tied ropes on your legs too. Congratulations on your wedding.”
36. Bride: “I do!”

Groom: “I do what she says…”

Final thoughts

Leaving humorous messages on your wedding card or guest book with personal anecdotes about the happy couple, thoughts on children, married life, and sex are all fair game when you’re addressing the newlyweds. These funny wedding messages will add an air of humor and truth to your guestbook entry that will make your bride and groom laugh.

You can also compose your funny wedding messages by referring back to these mentioned quotes and add a few extra witty words here and there that make sense. They will be your very own artwork that you can proudly boast off in front of your gang. And who knows, you might end up getting back the same funny wedding messages as congratulations on your wedding from the same group.

Share this article on

Share this article on

Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?

If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

Take Course

Need to find something to write in a wedding card? Whatever your relation to the happy couple, you’ll find a huge range of ideas below. We’ve searched the internet and consulted our card experts here to come up with the best list of ideas, and something you can pinch and pass off as your own. Enjoy!

Simple and Easy Messages

1. Wishing you lots of love and happiness.
2. Woohoo you got married! Wishing you two lovebirds a lifetime of Netflix binging.
3. A toast to the best pairing I’ve ever seen!
4. You guys are so perfect together! Congratulations! Super happy for you both!
5. It’s official! You’re stuck with one another! Congratulations on your wedding, and all the best for a future full of fun and adventures.
6. Lots of love and joy to both of you on this exciting day.
7. Congratulations on finding the perfect partner in crime.
8. So happy to celebrate this day with you both! Wishing you a long and happy marriage.
9. Really happy for you both – I’m predicting cute babies ;o)
10. Wishing you a lifetime of joy and happiness!
11. Wishing you both the happily-ever-after you deserve.

Funny Ideas

1. It’s time to knock back the prosecco and pretend like this hasn’t been the most stressful day of your life.
2. Well done on finding that one person you want to annoy for the rest of your lives.
3. Remember, marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops.
4. Thanks for inviting us to eat and drink while you get married. Congrats!
5. What do late nights, parties and hanging out with friends have in common? You won’t be able to do any of them from now on! Happy wedding day.
6. Congrats on probably not dying alone.
7. Congratulations for finally succumbing to life’s biggest myth – a successful marriage.
8. Now you’re married, you must master the art of saying yes when you actually want to say no!
9. Thanks for reminding me how much money I will save by not getting married 😉
10. Well done on tying the knot (as well as the chains around your legs!)
11. Wishing you two lovebirds a lifetime of Netflix binging!
12. I can’t wait to sob uncontrollably at your wedding.
13. I guess you won’t be a crazy cat person after all. Well done!
14. Forever is a long time… congrats… I think?
15. Now you can eat, drink and get fat, who cares – you’re married!
16. You may be married, but you don’t have to grow up! Congratulations on your wedding!
17. There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again.

Rude/Offensive Things to Say

1. The key to a great marriage is to keep the fights clean… and the sex dirty.
2. Stay in love, stay married, stay hopeful, most of all, stay together – divorce is too expensive.
3. I can’t believe you’re getting married before me. This is bulls***.
4. May you not accidentally get pregnant on the honeymoon!
5. Remember love is all you need… stick with crap like that and you’ll do great!
6. I would have got you a nicer card, but we were only invited to the evening do!
7. Congratulations on “I Doing” each other!
8. Marriage w***ers!
9. Congratulations on your wedding day! There better be an open bar or I retract my previous statement.

Thoughtful Sentiments

1. Love and marriage get better with each passing year. May all that you feel today be just the start.
2. Congratulations on making this step together, and may your love see you through all life’s ups and downs.
3. Can’t wait to watch you two turn into the cutest little old married couple to live.
4. Congratulations on your wedding! We are so happy for you and wish you all the love and happiness in the world.
5. May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old-fashioned enough to last forever!
6. You have shared so much love and laughter over your years together, and I know there will be many more joyful moments to come.
7. Wishing you all the best with the ceremony and a long and happy future together. May the honeymoon last forever!

Quotes

1. If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.
2. Rules to a happy marriage: 1. The wife is always right. When you feel she is wrong, slap yourself and remember rule number 1 again.
3. Being married is like having a best friend that doesn’t remember anything you say.
4. Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband.
5. No matter how hard it gets, the first 50 years of marriage are always the hardest.
6. A marriage is just two people constantly asking each other what they want to eat.
7. Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener!

For more ideas visit our wedding card selection, or why not check out our personalised wedding gifts.

Share this article

Tags:

Funny wedding wishes

The words, “I do” have everlasting effect in the lives of newlyweds. Wedding is the happiest occasion in the lives of a bride and a groom. Nothing can be more binding and more significant than the vow of “for richer, for poorer.” With elaborate preparations and sacred ceremony, union of two minds, two hearts, two different lives and characters is a serious affair for both parties and their relatives, especially as this involves mental and emotional connection.

Owing to the gamut of activities and level of significance that accompanies wedding, there will nevertheless be needs to lighten the air with flush of accolades, floods of congratulations and good wishes especially with funny wedding wishes. Funny wedding wishes is a comical and essential tool to cool charged air of wedding occasion and bring laughter to all and the newlyweds. Care must be taken to avoid annoying rather than making the couples happy. You need to be familiar with the bride and groom for your comicality to work harmoniously.

Funny wedding wishes

• Congratulations! Remember that a man is incomplete without a woman, but when his wedding is over, he is finished.
• In marriage, love and laughter comes before blaming and shouting. Be prepared.
• Marriage is a prison. Welcome to its seclusion. Congratulations anyway.
• Leaving freely and happily without any life commitment is the first sacrifice made by anyone getting ready to marry. Warm up for the greater is yet to come. Best Wishes.
• Ensure that you grab classy wedding ring so that you can recreate it in due time. Congratulations!
• Marriage begets a child, be sure to get pregnant before marriage. Best wishes.
• Love is the sun that initiates emergence of the flower of marriage; soon the lovebirds will draw swords of never-ending war. Love anyway. Best Wishes.
• You loved yourselves and are so happy to be together; soon you will realize that all you do is annoy each other. Congratulations.
• You fantasize about lovely and beautiful things for your marriage, soon you will dream about living alone surrounded with motionless hands of time. Just kidding. Enjoy your wedding.
• It’s so wonderful seeing you awash with sweet smiles as you sign your marriage contract, soon you will wear same smiles as you sign your annulment papers. Congratulations anyway.
• Getting married is like killing yourself. Why the lavish wedding when you can simply hang yourself. Happy Wedding!
• Wait! Do you really want to sign that marriage contract knowing that it has no expiration period? Enjoy your wedding.
• At first, sweet moments, kisses and hugs fill the air; soon the sweet nothings and lovely whispers give room for arguments which disappear for quarrel and total war. Congratulations!
• He promises you heaven and earth before your wedding; afterwards, he can’t even afford to give up his salary for you. Congratulations anyway.
• Happy married life. I hope he treats you and stays by you the way he does when he was your boyfriend. Good luck.
• Keep rocking! I hope your love and desire for one another will be strong as when you are dating. Good luck.
• Bride, your husband’s bank account is now in your palm; groom, be prepared. Happy married life.
• I told you never to get married, but you will never listen. Congratulations!
• Are you ready for him? Though he promises to lay down his life for you but after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. Good Luck.
• Marriage is so beautiful that you have finally found that one person you want to annoy all through your life.
• The fundamental of marriage is mutual understanding; soon this is what you will lack. Happy married life.
• Marriage is medicine to a blind love. May you find real antidote in your marriage Congratulations!
• If you need to transfer your fund faster than electronic banking, get married. Congratulations!
• Thank God you are finally married; give her everything or she will take all herself. Congratulations!
• Congratulations for the happiness you have been enjoying because after today you will have none.
• Your must be a dupe for getting betrothed to him; he must be madly in love not to recognize it.
• Now that you are married, it matters no more how many jobs you change, you simply will never change your only and one boss.
• As you get married to him, remember that you are exchanging the attention of many men for his inattention.
• Congratulations for your marriage, after all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
• All your children but one will grow up and move away—your husband.

More Funny wedding wishes

Wedding Wishes

Marriage Wishes

Marriage Anniversary Wishes

Wedding Card Sayings

Wedding Greeting and e-card

Wedding Thank You wording

Wedding Poems

Marriages are fun and with witting wedding quotes, you can take fun on a completely different tangent especially when some of your best friend or cousin is getting married. Funny marriage wishes in Hindi and English make wonderful choice of expressing your feelings to the newlyweds with a dash of wit and fun. Go with cute wedding wishes to make your messages highlight at the event. Funny witty wedding wishes help you express your love in a different way.

Here are best funny marriage quotes loaded with love and wit to help you create most special wedding wishes for the dearest couple.

1. Marriage is like a wonderful, exciting and entertaining walk in the park but the park is Jurassic Park…. May you are blessed with an awesome journey together…. Have an adventurous and thrilling married life my dear couple!!!

2. May you be married for life but this doesn’t mean that you have to grow up…. You can still be stupid and funny… may you are blessed with an amazingly funny and entertaining time with each other… Happy Married Life dear.

3. Marriage is not for the weak… it is for the strong hearted people who don’t fear challenges in life…. Dearest newlywed couple, you are truly strong and inspiring…. Enjoy this tough relationship with smile on your face.

4. Welcome to the dangerous yet exciting world of marriage… you will soon be witnessing the most wonderful time of your life and the most special journey… Don’t faint, just keep enjoying as now you cannot repent!!! Happy Married Life to the most special couple.

5. Do you know what is one common thing between late night parties, hanging out with friends and enjoying life…. well you will no longer be able to do all of these things after marriage…. Happy Married Life to both of you…. !!!!

6. Marriage is the end of your love story but a unique beginning of your wresting story…. May you make a wonderful story with each other and you both win…. Warm wishes to you on your marriage for a happy life together.

7. Today is your special day… May this special day of your life be full of happiness and enjoyment because from tomorrow the real life is going to start… and then all the fun will be gone with the wind. Happy Marriage to you dearest couple.

8. One of the most dangerous food on the planet is the wedding cake… May you are blessed with all the strength to cherish and enjoy this dangerous food which is served on your plate… Wishing you all the fun and drama in your married life… All the best… God bless you!!!

9. A harmonious marriage will be between a blind woman and a deaf husband…. So to make your marriage work beautifully, wife should pretend that she cannot see and husband should pretend that he cannot hear…. Warm wishes for a happy married life to the newlywed couple.

10. Before you two got married, you were madly in love with each other but from now on you will be mad at each other…. Wish you all the luck and of course a wonderful married life with dash of love and spice of fights!!!

Popular Messages:

• funny wedding verses to the bride and groom
• funny wedding day messages to the bride and bridegroom
• witty wedding wishes
• funny quotes for bride and groom
• wishes for brides and groom
• message from parents to the bride and groom
• funny wishes for bride & groom
• funny messages for a groom
• sweet messages for bride and groom
• best wishes to bride and groom