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Funny wedding well wishes quotes

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Funny wedding well wishes quotes
August 04, 2019 Anniversary Wishes 1 comment

Crazy, Funny, Hilarious, Awesome, Cool Wedding Wishes & Quotes You may be married, but Now you will'be be mad at each other as well.

Wedding Verse
by Linda Harrison
The time has come to stand side by side
The Groom in his glory, his beautiful Bride.
They've waited so long for this moment in time
To take their vows and say, "Will you be mine?"

Marriage is precious and to be treasured.
The love that you have can never be measured.
It joins you as one, not just with a ring,
But a future together and what it will bring.

Keep the love alive and make it last.
Remember the good times don't live in the past.
The bond that you have shows the world that you care,
Not just for yourselves, but for the family you share.

Who knows what the future may hold.
Stay strong together until you grow old.
Be there for each other, keep good memories alive.
With love and respect you will always survive.

Today is your day to cherish forever,
Never forget what brought you together.
This special time is just for you,
A time to remember when you've said "I do."


A passage from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
by Louis de Bernières
Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.

That is just being “in love” which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.


The variety of funny anniversary wishes depends on the purpose, for which you Funny Wedding Anniversary Quotes For Husband And Wife A married couple are well suited when both partners usually feel the need for a.

Funny Wedding Wishes and Messages

funny wedding well wishes quotes

Wedding are always occasions to spread and share laughter, cheer, love and joy and that is why sending a funny wedding wish to a person close to you on this very amazing day can relax them more than you think. Fun can be gotten from anywhere, especially where two or more people are gathered. Share and spread some laughter by sending a unique funny wedding wish or message to that special someone on their very special day. Here are some messages you can choose from for that lucky man or woman getting hitched to the girl or boy of his dreams:

Best Funny Wedding Wishes

  • It takes two people who want to be together to get married, but the opposite is the case with you two. Because you’re always brawling. Happy married life lovers and brawlers. Have fun filled marriage.
  • Happy married life friend, the only friend I can call the best even though he’s shitty at times. I never get less from you when comic is concerned, be blessed all through your marriage.
  • Just get ready to annoy yourself by the single person till the whole life. Wishing you a very happy married life.
  • Marriages – a great shock with a forceful attempt so you are the victim of it. Enjoy your rest of life under its impression. Congratulations.
  • Weddings sometimes seem like funerals for when someone gains a partner for life we lose a drinking buddy and the leader of our mischievous gang. Congrats bro!
  • I have known you as a frog all my life how did you become the king you are today? She must be something, congrats on your wedding!


  • The only memories that I have of you are the ones that makes me smile whenever I remember. You’re such a naughty friend and I dare not replace you. Enjoy your special day.
  • I’ll miss the way we sit down to judge others and make jest of them, but now you have to do it alone. Because your woman won’t be a part of it. Happy married life.
  • My friend, it’s better to hangover yourself rather than get committed in the relation of marriage.  Hope all is well. Wish you a wonderful life.
  • Top 200 Wedding Wishes
  • The luminosity of marriage is just for two days, you have to repent it later. So your time is over for running. Stick to the single man till the end. Happy Married Life.
  • I won’t forget how we used to stay long after school in order to escape the work and chastisement at home. You’re a great friend in crime. Happy married life buddy.
  • Happy married life cracked buddy, when I’m alone I laugh, but when I’m with you I laugh till I cry. I’m going to miss your craziness man. Enjoy your new home.

  • Many congratulations on your wedding. You are going to lose your all senses.
  • Only brave people engaged in marital relations, not the sissies. Congratulation brother, for the biggest union of your life. Happy marriage.
  • Tears of joy fill my eyes as I now realize everything we once shared now belongs to me! Mwahaha congrats on your wedding beautiful!
  • Wedding Congratulations Messages
  • You look beautiful on your wedding gown, love you and congrats on your wedding love! You definitely wore it better!
  • Happy married life friend, I wish you’ll legalize our friendship like you’re doing to that woman today. Anyway. Enjoy your home a lot.
  • I hate to miss you, but now I’m going to miss loving you because another miss has taken you away. I wish you both happiness. Happy married life naughty friend.


  • Congratulations for the joy forever like two peanuts attach in a shell. Wishing you a very Happy Married Life.
  • Many congratulations for signing out from bachelor’s life. Welcome to the world of Maryland. Congratulations.
  • Be the ideal husband of your wife, otherwise, you have the chance to switch for the other one. Good luck in marriage!
  • Top 100 Wedding Messages, Wishes and Greeting Cards
  • Congratulations on sleeping with the same person for the rest of your life, I hope you enjoy each other. Love you guys!
  • Seeing you here bring tears to my eyes, I was tired of being the third wheel anyway, have fun guys. Congrats on tying the knot!
  • Happy married life lazy friend. The critical work of your wife is to be responsible for everyone; I hope you’ll not kill her with much work and responsibility. Happy married life.

  • Happy married life to a controversial friend; I hope your wife won’t find out that you married her to win a bet. Do enjoy your home.
  • Happy married life buddy, I’m sure you’re aware and prepared that it’s war that you’re going to face, so brace up. Congratulations friend and happy fighting.
  • Wedding Wishes for a Friend
  • Now you have entered into the world’s biggest zoo where humans are animals, fighting for their basic needs. Have a great season of the wedding.
  • The biggest adventure of life is to tolerate a person till the whole life. Many congratulations on your wedding. Hope you have a good life.
  • As soon as you learn the basic requirements of spending an ideal married life. You will surely love this stage of life. Congratulations on your wedding, brother.


  • Happy married life brother; now that you’re married I hope you’ll help in finding the secret to a happy marriage because it remains a secret to everyone especially me. Lol.
  • Happy married life sister, I feel sorry for that poor man there because your nagging will certainly kill him soon. I hope he’ll last a bit longer before you eventually kill him.
  • Please hold on to your temper for a little while sis, at least for as long as you can. Or else you’ll suffocate this man like you did to me. Congratulations dear sis.
  • Wedding Wishes for Bride
  • Start ready for giving and taking. No indeed, just giving and giving. Your wife knows well how to take it. Congratulations on your marriage.
  • Congratulations for the new life of slavery. Happy Married Life.
  • Enjoy as much as you can, these days will never back again. Tomorrow is your wedding day. Happy single life for today.

  • This day will never be forgotten, two of the most beautiful people in the world witnessed a lovely and holy matrimony, and I mean me and your beautiful bride, congrats bro!
  • If I wasn’t here I wouldn’t have believed it, I hope you have the best time of your life as you celebrate forever. I love you guys!
  • Marriage often starts with love and ends on the wrestling ring; I hope your story will be different, by wrestling not on the ring but on bed. Happy married life brother.
  • Wedding Messages for Groom
  • Congratulations friend, your wife is really a gentle woman, our uncle once said; nothing terrorizes him more than his gentle wife. I hope your situation is different.
  • What you wish the one you get. Never laugh on your priorities and choices, might your husband is one of them. Happy Married Life, dear sister.
  • The stage of keeping your mouth shut has started. Don’t worry. Everyone is doing this job very well who are in this relation. Good luck in marriage!


  • The matter of moments to come closer two hearts and enjoy their marriage with the string of sweet love. Have a wonderful wedding day.
  • Congratulations on your wedding brother, don’t forget to hold on to your woman as you often hold on to your credit card even when there’s nothing in your account. Enjoy your home.
  • Oh buddy, your bride looks a lot like an angel today, so beautiful! I hope you know she’ll want to keep that beauty at the expense of your life. Enjoy your ride together.
  • Wedding Wishes for Brother
  • Relationships are like boxing competition, while marriage is like the final, if you survived the other stages, you’ll definitely be knocked out in the finals.  All the luck in the ring friend.
  • My life is hidden in your pretty face. So please do not wash your face otherwise your makeup will spoil my life. Have a great wedding day.
  • Just remember this slogan ‘my wife is always right’.  You will spend a very happy life, no doubt. Hope you have lifetime happiness and joy. Happy Married Life.

  • The death of love occurs when the relation of marriage starts. Practicality prevails and love lost. Wishing you a very happy married life.
  • I hope your marriage will make you happy and not make you to be a philosopher; philosophers in marriages are clearly missing as they barely enjoy freedom. Enjoy your union buddy.
  • I’m glad our friend found the only woman that will annoy him for the rest of his life; I’m not ready to find mine because I don’t want to die soon. Happy married life buddy.
  • Wedding Wishes for Sister
  • You must get ready to work your butts off buddy, because it’s a workshop where you must work and your woman must shop with your earnings. Enjoy the beauty of marriage.
  • Wishing you both a very happy wrestling match. Now let’s see who will win. Congratulations on your wedding!
  • Congratulation and good luck for the journey of life.  May you always see the funny episode of this season.


  • If you are not blind then try to act like it and if you are not deaf then try to pretend it. If you want to spend a good life. Hope everything is doing well. Happy wedding to both of you.
  • The beauty of a relationship is to bear each other whether you love or not. Wishing you a very Happy Married Life.
  • Marriages are like the cream in the coffee cup. At first, it tastes good but later it tastes bitter. May you both have the lifetime of happiness and pleasure. Happy Married Life.
  • Top 100 Short Wedding Wishes
  • If you can do it, then no man shall be left single. I love you bro, congrats on finally tying the knot!
  • May the angel of faithfulness, loyalty and humility be with you as you venture into this beautiful journey. Love you to the moon and back, congrats on your wedding!
  • One plus one in your case makes one, may you be a big beautiful oneness full of love and unbreakable respect. Love you guys! Congrats!
  • You finally did it, you finally fooled someone long enough to be yours forever, I bet you are feeling really great about it. Congrats!!

  • I cannot begin to describe how very emotional this makes me, I knew you would find the one I just thought it would be after I got married, on my wedding day maybe, congrats on your wedding, I’m coming next!
  • This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen, the prince and the pauper joining in holy goodness #just kidding. Love you guys!
  • May this day forever be engraved in your memory as the day you both made an eternal promise to each other. Congrats on your wedding days dears!
  • We are now finally family, have they told you I have been waiting for this for so long, I’ve even grown white hair, hope you guys are forever happy, I’ll be watching!
  • I can be weird around you without really caring for we are now family, welcome to this side of life dearest, get ready to be amazed!
  • He is a good man, but even a better husband, unfortunately my best friend and I am never letting go… congrats beauties!
  • Have a splendid and beautiful marriage full of kids and all the other fun stuff. I will be here whenever rooting for you guys!
  • I cannot begin to imagine how I got myself into this open buffet, thank you for inviting me to your wedding bro; she finally turned you into a prince.
  • May everything work out for you in this new profound prison you got yourself in, only kidding; I wish you every bit of happiness on your wedding dears.
  • Today we make a toast for you guys sleeping with each other for the rest of your human lives and maybe even the next. Congrats on your wedding dears.
  • May you experience happiness in your marriage life; you’ll need it to survive the storms, only kidding. Congrats on your wedding.
  • Welcome to the league of the married where you have to make others happy at the expense of yourself. I cannot wait to see you have kids.
  • Most people think they are genuinely in love until they make the mistake of marriage and reality manifests. Why did you decide to follow their path?
  • I love it that you are finally married, so you will understand why your parents wake up Nagy and grumpy. That’s what marriage does to you.
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Wishes for newly married couple

funny wedding well wishes quotes

Funny wedding card messages: Planning to write a funny quote on a card instead of the cliché romantic wishes? Give the newlyweds something to laugh and smile about by using sarcasm and humor. From sayings about how boring a marriage can get to quirky quotes about married life – this post will help you unleash the comic monster within. Come up with your own original jokes and funny one-liners which you can use in a speech if you are going to be the best man or the bridesmaid. Rub it in by posting them on Facebook and Twitter and don’t forget to tag the newlyweds in your tweets and post. Last but not the least, follow up your crass greeting with the most beautiful wedding gift so that you can sweetly make up for your funny stunt.


1) Congratulations for embarking on life’s journey called MARRIAGE which is either a two way street between COMPROMISE and SACRIFICE or a one way street to DIVORCE.


2) Saying I do while getting married is like blindly clicking on the I Accept checkbox while installing new software in your computer. You do it despite having no clue of what will come next.


3) Your wife complements you perfectly. She shadows all your flaws and accentuates your qualities. Now we know why you decided to get married. Congratulations.


4) Marriage is the juncture where SPENDING TIME WITH FRIENDS morphs from being a reality into being a wishful dream.


5) Before marriage – fun in bed. After marriage – fight in bed.


6) Congratulations for signing up for marriage – the most amazing way how love fuelled cuddles morph into anger fuelled arguments.


7) In the circus of life, you may have lived like a lion so far. But your wife, the new circus master will tame you into a domesticated cat in no time. Good luck for your tight rope act.


8) No amount of wishes or luck will protect you from the painful life of slavery you are about to start as a husband. Congratulations anyway.


9) A couple’s life cycle consists of various stages including dating, loving, marrying, fighting, threatening and possibly even divorcing. Congratulations for reaching step number three.


10) Do you know what late nights, parties and hanging out with friends on the weekend have in common? You won’t be able to do any of those from now on. Congratulations for your wedding.


11) I don’t mean to be the party pooper but I must warn you to gear up to live a life in which you will have to do all the things that you never dreamt of doing – sharing the TV remote, cleaning the house, putting your towel for a wash and asking for permission before going out. Congratulations.


12) Congratulations for finally succumbing to life’s biggest myth – a successful marriage.


13) Your match wasn’t made in heaven. It was made in my bedroom that you two used so often. Congratulations to my best friends for getting married.


14) Now that you are married, you must master the art of saying yes when you actually want to say no. Congratulations.


15) Getting married is like being in drama school. You get to practice everything from comedy to melodrama to tragedy. Congratulations.

16) As you become husband and wife, prepare to welcome a lot of strife. Each others faults you will point out, you will fight and argue without a doubt. Don’t even bother trying to find a solution, this is marriage – life’s toughest institution. Congratulations.


17) As you walk down the aisle, don’t be nervous before saying ‘I do’ because you don’t have a choice anyways. Good luck and congratulations.


18) Wedding – one of the biggest expense of your life which marks the beginning of many more expenses including shopping, gifts, day care, schooling for children and possibly even alimony. Good luck to you.


19) After your wedding, your relationship status on Facebook will change from single to married while your real life’s status will change from being available to being always busy. Congratulations.


20) On your wedding day today, you have now become two from one. Does that mean I will get two birthday gifts from you both every year?


21) Congratulations – you just paid for a whole bunch of your friends and family to have the biggest party of their lives.


22) Knowing the entrepreneurial couple that you are, I was wondering if you could give me some insider tips so I can place my bets on how long you both will last? Congratulations for getting hitched.


23) Your wedding wows are actually an unsaid contract in which you agree to be tied down to your spouse all your life. Congratulations.


24) Walking down the aisle on your wedding marks your first step in walking towards a hurricane called Marriage. Good luck.


25) Some people say that a wedding is symbolic of a guy’s transition into becoming a man. I say it is symbolic of the end of a fun bachelor life and the beginning of a boring married life. Either way, wish you all the best.


26) I cancelled all my appointments and an important meeting just so that I could make it to your wedding. After all, free food and booze was just too lucrative to give up. Congratulations.


27) There is nothing worse than a friend getting married. Now my parents have one more reason to coax me hitched too. Congratulations.


28) I know I am going to have an awesome time attending your wedding because I will be reminded of all the money I will be saving by not getting married. Congratulations.


29) You haven’t just tied the knot with your wife today, you have invariably tied chains on your legs too. Congratulations.


30) Do you know that you are signing a marriage contract which does not give you the option of renewing it every year? Congratulations for signing your life away.

31) The only difference between marriage and stupidity is that marriage is expensive while stupidity comes free of cost.


32) Getting married is like becoming a child all over again. Be prepared to learn where to put your towel, how to keep the bathroom clean and organizing your clothes in the closet. Congratulations.


33) I am happy that you are getting married, but does that mean I have to buy two birthday gifts every year instead of one?


34) Congratulations – you have just committed to being annoyed, irritated and screamed at by one person for an entire lifetime.


35) Married life is the perfect proof of the fact that love is truly blind. The fights and arguments after your wedding will make you wonder why you thought it was a good idea in the first place.


36) Cupid may have shot the arrow of love, but who is shoot the arrow to prevent fights after marriage? Good luck to you.


37) You are about to witness the life’s biggest miracle – it is amazing how you will manage to live with a person with whom you fight, argue and quarrel on a daily basis. Congratulations for finding your miracle.


38) Marriages are all about sacrifice, hardships and letting go. Are you really sure you want to get married?


39) The innocence of newlyweds is really something. Everyone tries to find out the secret to a happy marriage, only to later find that the only secret is that there is no such thing as a happy marriage.


40) Couples get a big surprise after getting married because they fail to figure out life’s biggest mystery – when two become one, halved is the fun.


In the card, you can include memories or quotes that have special Wedding cards are meant to wish the couple well in their new journey. If you are really good friends with the bride and groom, a funny wedding wish may.

Funny Wedding Wishes and Quotes

funny wedding well wishes quotes

Need to find something to write in a wedding card? Whatever your relation to the happy couple, you’ll find a huge range of ideas below. We’ve searched the internet and consulted our card experts here to come up with the best list of ideas, and something you can pinch and pass off as your own. Enjoy!

Simple and Easy Messages

  1. Wishing you lots of love and happiness.
  2. Woohoo you got married! Wishing you two lovebirds a lifetime of Netflix binging.
  3. A toast to the best pairing I’ve ever seen!
  4. You guys are so perfect together! Congratulations! Super happy for you both!
  5. It’s official! You’re stuck with one another! Congratulations on your wedding, and all the best for a future full of fun and adventures.
  6. Lots of love and joy to both of you on this exciting day.
  7. Congratulations on finding the perfect partner in crime.
  8. So happy to celebrate this day with you both! Wishing you a long and happy marriage.
  9. Really happy for you both – I’m predicting cute babies ;o)
  10. Wishing you a lifetime of joy and happiness!
  11. Wishing you both the happily-ever-after you deserve.

Funny Ideas

  1. It’s time to knock back the prosecco and pretend like this hasn’t been the most stressful day of your life.
  2. Well done on finding that one person you want to annoy for the rest of your lives.
  3. Remember, marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops.
  4. Thanks for inviting us to eat and drink while you get married. Congrats!
  5. What do late nights, parties and hanging out with friends have in common? You won’t be able to do any of them from now on! Happy wedding day.
  6. Congrats on probably not dying alone.
  7. Congratulations for finally succumbing to life’s biggest myth – a successful marriage.
  8. Now you’re married, you must master the art of saying yes when you actually want to say no!
  9. Thanks for reminding me how much money I will save by not getting married 😉
  10. Well done on tying the knot (as well as the chains around your legs!)
  11. Wishing you two lovebirds a lifetime of Netflix binging!
  12. I can’t wait to sob uncontrollably at your wedding.
  13. I guess you won’t be a crazy cat person after all. Well done!
  14. Forever is a long time… congrats… I think?
  15. Now you can eat, drink and get fat, who cares – you’re married!
  16. You may be married, but you don’t have to grow up! Congratulations on your wedding!
  17. There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again.

Rude/Offensive Things to Say

  1. The key to a great marriage is to keep the fights clean… and the sex dirty.
  2. Stay in love, stay married, stay hopeful, most of all, stay together – divorce is too expensive.
  3. I can’t believe you’re getting married before me. This is bulls***.
  4. May you not accidentally get pregnant on the honeymoon!
  5. Remember love is all you need… stick with crap like that and you’ll do great!
  6. I would have got you a nicer card, but we were only invited to the evening do!
  7. Congratulations on “I Doing” each other!
  8. Marriage w***ers!
  9. Congratulations on your wedding day! There better be an open bar or I retract my previous statement.

Thoughtful Sentiments

  1. Love and marriage get better with each passing year. May all that you feel today be just the start.
  2. Congratulations on making this step together, and may your love see you through all life’s ups and downs.
  3. Can’t wait to watch you two turn into the cutest little old married couple to live.
  4. Congratulations on your wedding! We are so happy for you and wish you all the love and happiness in the world.
  5. May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old-fashioned enough to last forever!
  6. You have shared so much love and laughter over your years together, and I know there will be many more joyful moments to come.
  7. Wishing you all the best with the ceremony and a long and happy future together. May the honeymoon last forever!


  1. If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.
  2. Rules to a happy marriage: 1. The wife is always right. When you feel she is wrong, slap yourself and remember rule number 1 again.
  3. Being married is like having a best friend that doesn’t remember anything you say.
  4. Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband.
  5. No matter how hard it gets, the first 50 years of marriage are always the hardest.
  6. A marriage is just two people constantly asking each other what they want to eat.
  7. Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener!

For more ideas visit our wedding card selection, or why not check out our personalised wedding gifts.

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WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: Wedding quotes - wedding wishes quotes - wedding wishes quote

If you're close to the bride or groom and know them to have a good sense of humour, then a funny wedding card message may be the perfect.

funny wedding well wishes quotes
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