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Funniest grad quotes

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Funniest grad quotes
February 26, 2019 Anniversary Wishes 5 comments

Funny graduation quotes for high school and college graduates. Alan Moore; A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells.

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Tips to recent grads make for an interesting read. Below is our collection of favorites. Among the humorous and the witty, hopefully, you’ll find something you like in all of our topics for that fun loving graduate you know.

32 Funny Graduation Quotes by Famous Folks

  1. You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
    David Barry
  2. If at first you don’t succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
    Harry Banks
  3. Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.
    Al Bernstein
  4. In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.
    Tom Bodett
  5. The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
    Sarah Brown
  6. I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes – which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
    Art Buchwald
  7. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
    Jim Carrey
  8. Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
    Winston Churchill
  9. Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.
    Ellen DeGeneres
  10. Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.
    T.S. Eliot


  1. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
    W.C. Fields
  2. As you set off into the world, don’t be afraid to question your leaders. But don’t ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky.
    Will Ferrell
  3. You may build a building or hit someone over the head. The choice is yours.
    Jodie Foster
  4. When I was here there was still a requirement that students had to swim 50 yards to graduate…because Harry Elkins Widener had drowned with the sinking of the Titanic. And it made me very grateful at the time that he had not gone down in a plane crash.
    Barney Frank
  5. Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other.
    Benjamin Franklin
  6. My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.
    Paul Getty
  7. You know, I’m sick of following my dreams man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with them later.
    Mitch Hedberg
  8. I didn’t go to college, but if I did, I would’ve taken all my tests at a restaurant, ’cause the customer is always right.
    Mitch Hedberg
  9. On behalf of frogs, fish, pigs, bears and all of the other species who are lower than you on the food chain, thank you for dedicating your lives to saving our world and our home.
    Kermit the Frog
  10. The Lord gave us two ends: one to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most.
    Ann Landers

Check out Great Gifts for College Students.


  1. Whoever invented spray cheese had to have been a Harvard guy.
    Seth MacFarlane
  2. I’ve never studied anything formally. I was excluded from school at the age of 17, so I am an autodidact, which is a word that I have taught myself.
    Alan Moore
  3. A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success.
    Robert Orben
  4. Try putting your iPhones down every once in a while and look at people’s faces.
    Amy Poehler
  5. A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.
    Theodore Roosevelt
  6. My favorite animal is the turtle. The reason is that in order for the turtle to move, it has to stick its neck out.
    Dr. Ruth
  7. I too turned to Webster’s Dictionary and it defined Harvard University as a season for gathering crops.
    Andy Samburg
  8. Our school was so tough, the student newspaper had an obituary column.
  9. The school of experience will repeat the lesson if you flunked the first time.
  10. This wasn’t like High School Musical at all.
  11. Well, I’m not usually one for speeches – Goodbye!
  12. A woman’s reach should exceed her grasp, or what’s a heaven for?
    Kurt Vonnegut

Check this out: Congratulations Graduation Messages

Tip: Play to your audience. Sometimes graduation quotes might work for one person who likes a laugh, and other times not for folks who are more serious. Ask yourself, does the recipient have a good sense of humor?

25 Funny Graduation Quotations for College and High School

  1. If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
    Milton Berle
  2. Be Santa Claus when you can.
    Jimmy Buffett
  3. Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what’s going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.
    Stephen Colbert
  4. You will never become a howling success by just howling.
    Bob Harrington
  5. I was blessed with a mother who was in a constant state of wonder…And whenever I’d complain or be upset about something, my mother had the same advice: “Darling, change the channel. You are in control of the clicker. Don’t replay the bad, scary movie.
    Arriana Huffington
  6. Life has a very simple plot: first you’re here and then you’re not.
    Eric Idle
  7. If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
    William Lyon Phelps
  8. Don’t treat your heart like an action figure wrapped in plastic and never used.
    Amy Poehler
  9. When things go wrong, don’t go with them.
    Elvis Presley
  10. Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.
    Arnold Schwarzenegger
  11. You have brains in your head – You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
    Dr. Seuss
  12. Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day, and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
    Homer Simpson

The Best

  1. The best revenge is massive success.
    Frank Sinatra
  2. The road to success is always under construction.
    Lily Tomlin
  3. Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
  4. Put your future in good hands – your own.
  5. God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
  6. Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
  7. The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
  8. If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling.
  9. Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.
  10. You will never see a U-haul behind a hearse. You can’t take it with you.
    Denzel Washington
  11. Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
    Earl Wilson
  12. I couldn’t wait for success. I went ahead without it.
    Jonathan Winters
  13. It doesn’t matter that your dream came true if you spent your whole life sleeping.
    Jerry Zucker

If you have any suggested additions, please let us know. Thanks!

Graduation Images and Memes

Fun Graduation Sayings from Parents

  • Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when look back, everything is different.
    C.S. Lewis
  • The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.
    Jon Stewart
  • Congrats on getting through the easiest part of life.
  • All that stands between a graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder.
  • Graduation is a tough day for parents. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come back home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years, they are unemployed.
  • You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.
    Benjamin Franklin

Funny Quotes for Sister

  • Congratulations on four years of pretending your third pick school was your first choice.
  • Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.
    Neil Gaiman
  • The fact that no one understands you doesn’t make you an artist.
  • Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
  • A man of genius is privileged only as far as he is genius. His dullness is as insupportable as any other dullness.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • We’d like to apply for a refund on your college education.
  • So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.
    Bill Watterson – Creator of Calvin and Hobbes comic strip
Tip: Use a humorous graduation quotes for photo captions on Instagram and Facebook, in photo books, texts, emails and more.

Funny Graduation Quotes

  • Don’t take life too seriously, nobody makes it out alive.
    Elbert Hubbard
  • And if you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.
    Neil Gaiman
  • Tommy: Ya know, a lot of people go to college for ten years.
    Richard: Yeah, they’re called doctors.
    Tommy Boy (the movie)
  • The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.
  • Friends and classmates are God’s way of apologizing for your relatives.
  • A big shoutout to all of the sidewalks in our town. They kept me off the streets.
  • I graduated so now I’m like smart and stuff.

Witty Graduation Sayings for Friends

  • Experience is the only school from which no one graduates.
  • I would’ve gone to Hogwarts but my ACT score was too low.
  • You can’t get to the top by sitting on your bottom.
  • You know that point at your graduation ceremony where everyone tosses up their caps? Isn’t it great that we all celebrate how smart we are by throwing sharp pointy objects in the air?

College Quotes

  • I can’t wait to hear your name horribly mispronounced at the graduation ceremony.
  • Without Google and Wikipedia, would we even be celebrating your graduation today?
  • Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
    Will Rogers
  • I lost a bet because you graduated.
  • We always knew you’d barely graduate.
  • We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
    Oscar Wilde


Funny Sayings for the Graduate

  • Worry is like a rocking chair — it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.
    Erma Bombeck
  • The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places.
  • People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
    Isaac Asimov
  • You’re going to fall down, but the world doesn’t care how many times you fall down, as long as it’s one fewer than the numbers of times you get back up.
    Aaron Sorkin
  • So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track.
    Ed Helms

Funny Quotes About School

  • School is learning things you don’t want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn’t know, while working toward a future you don’t know will ever come.
    Dave Kellet
  • A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.
    Theodore Roosevelt
  • During a test, students look up for inspiration, down in desperation and left and right for information.
  • As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.
    Cokie Roberts
  • High School looks so much cooler on TV.
  • There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job to be done: school and prison.
    William Glasser
  • Student: Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
    Teacher: Well, of course not.
    Student: I didn’t do my homework.
  • Group projects make me understand why Superman works alone.


Hopefully these selection might inspire you, friends and family. They’re great for graduation, an educator or graduates.

1 – Graduating Wishes

2 – Card Messages

3 – Quotations

4 – You’re Here – Funny Graduation Quotes

5 – Inspirational

6 – College

7 – High School

8 – Congratulations Quotations

9 – What to write in graduation cards

To Share is Divine...

Ultimate yearbook collection of Senior Quotes of 2014 for graduating high-school & university students. Each senior quote has one quality.

32 Hilarious Senior Quotes for Graduating Seniors

funniest grad quotes

Sick of reading through the same old year book quotes year after year? Wanna make sure that yours is one that people will remember and that you can always look back on with a smile? If so, then you've come to the right place! Here you'll see a collection of some of the funniest yearbook quotes ever penned by kids who were self aware enough to not take themselves too seriously.

So if you're in the market for yearbook quote ideas, get ready to behold of a plethora of funny yearbook pictures featuring quotes that are sure to get your creative gears turning! Or perhaps you've already graduated and are flipping through a series of less than inspiring quips in your own old yearbook? Fear not friend and get ready to meet the super witty classmates you never had! 

Whether you're out for hilarious ideas for your own quote, are looking to adopt a new life motto, or are just in the market for a laugh, you're guaranteed to find something here that will exceed your expectations!

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25 Hilarious Yearbook Quotes That Belong In The Smart Ass Hall of Fame

funniest grad quotes

Yearbook quotes, once a means to showcase the brilliant minds that inspired your academic journey, are now a race to see how many people in your class can quote The Office at once. 

Choosing just one phrase to be immortalized under a picture of your sweaty face and soon-to-be-dated hairstyle isn't easy. Will you dunk on every classmate of group projects past that let you down? Will you choose a relatable celeb quote? Or will you play Will This Probably Disappoint My Parents (And Possibly Myself In Five Years?) roulette and choose *gasp* a meme? 

Seniors, you get one shot. Take your best one. 

If you still need some inspiration, or are trying to scrub your own ill-picked yearbook quote out of your brain, we're giving out superlatives for these amazing (and amazingly savage) yearbook quotes. 

Most Likely To Throw Their Homework In A River:  

Most Likely To Run A Campus Meme Twitter Account: 

Most Likely To Have The Perfect Comeback: 

Most Likely To Get A Celeb's Autograph Tattoo'd On Their Arm: 

Even if we might look back on our own quotes and cringe, toss your cap back without shame knowing that at least it's not as bad as Chris Evans' senior quote. 

Meet twenty five kids who are going to go far in life (if their yearbook quotes are any indication).

The 100 Most Epic and Funny Senior Quotes

funniest grad quotes

Just when you thought posing for a yearbook photo was difficult enough you have to think about what quote you'd like to put underneath to be remembered bye and whilst some people put a heartfelt message or a quote to inspire these people decided to put something that's damn right hilarious, whether it's embarrassing or not.

Choosing to embrace their quirks rather than cover them up and poke fun rather than take themselves to seriously here are 28 people that did their yearbook quotes right.

1. This guy decided to confess.

2. Blake playing it cool.

3. They call me bubbles because i'm always rising to the top.

4. The "S" is silent.

5. Your senior quote CAN'T be 'fries before guys'.

6. Just putting it out there.

7. Why fall in love when you can fall asleep.

8. Conner managed to sneak that one in there.

9. Joe just letting everyone know he didn't have a farm.

10. Nick just telling it like it is.

11. Max just letting everyone know.

12. Back to the drawing board.

13. Voldemort has possessed me.

14. Michelle stating the obvious.

15. I'd like to count my fingers, because I could always count on them.

16. "I hate my name."

17. "I'm that Nigerian prince that keeps emailing you."

18. "The happier we get, the less we see."

19. "I got kicked out of Hogwarts for using black magic."

20. It's hard being a single mother when...

21. He hears everything.

22. I got a haircut and nobody noticed!

23. They said he couldn't do it, so he did!

24. "I went through four years of high school without having a bad hair day."

25. "It's called garbage can, not garbage can't."

26. Sibling rivalry.

27. Except everything was on fire...

WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: TOP 50 Funniest SENIOR QUOTES of 2018 - Alonzo Lerone

The best senior quotes usually fall into one of two categories: they're either heartfelt or super funny. Check out the 35 funniest senior yearbook.

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Written by Samubar
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