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Birthday wisdom quotes funny
September 18, 2018 Anniversary Wishes 1 comment

A selection of happy birthday funny quotes you can use to wish someone a very happy If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you're a genius!.

Funny Birthday Quotes

  • A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it. – By R. C. Ferguson
  • Age is a number and yours is unlisted. – By Unknown
  • Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – By Jack Benny
  • Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. – By Daniel Francois Esprit Auber
  • A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip. – By Unknown Author
  • Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. – By Rev. Larry Lorenzoni
  • The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. – By H. Prochnow


  • They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. – By Unknown Author
  • They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much. – By Malcolm Cowley
  • Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. – By Robert Frost
  • When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. – By Mark Twain
  • Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. – By Tom Wilson
  • You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. – By Bob Hope
  • I know age has made your memory a bit foggy, so I’m going to remind you that today is your birthday!
  • Do you remember all the crazy, fun moments we had when we were kids? Of course, you don’t, you antique! Happy birthday!
  • Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed. – By Charles Schultz
  • Like many women my age, I am 28 years old. – By Mary Schmich


  • Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life. – By Robert Southey
  • Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty. – By Joan Rivers
  • I urge you not to count the candles on this years’ birthday cake. Not only it will take up the entire time of the party, with the memory you have at your age, you will probably forget where you where and will have to start over a million times! Anyways, happy birthday!
  • I want to congratulate you for being one of the few old people I know that have not turned grumpy yet! That is an achievement worthy of praise! Happy birthday!
  • Today, on the day of your birthday, I’m pretty sure there are plenty of interesting things going on. I’m afraid the celebration of an old person isn’t amongst them! Still is super cool though! So happy birthday!
  • At this point in life, there is no need to think what you should be doing in the future, you should probably be thinking of what do for the next week. Same thing anyway…..Uhhmmm, I mean, happy birthday!
  • As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. – By Sir Norman Wisdom
  • Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. – By Herbert Asquith


  • A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. – By Robert Frost
  • A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. – By Erma Bombeck
  • Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake. – By Unknown Author
  • First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down. – By Leo Rosenberg
  • For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday. – By John Glenn
  • Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed. – By Anthony Powell
  • I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it. – By Eva Gabor
  • I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. – By Unknown Author


  • Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them. – By Ogden Nash
  • Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age. – By Richard Armour
  • Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it. – By Golda Meir
  • Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative. – By Maurice Chevalier
  • Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. – By Dave Barry
  • I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do. – By Phyllis Diller
  • If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself. – By Ubie Blake
  • If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes. – By Euripedes
  • Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened. – By Jennifer Yane
  • It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen. – By Brigitte Bardot
  • We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. – By Unknown Author
  • Another birthday? Don’t let it get you down. After all, you’re still winning our race to the grave, old man.
  • There is still no cure for the common birthday. – By John Glenn


Birthday Images with Funny Birthday Quotes

Our website offers a great number of the funniest and most hilarious birthday quotes for family members or friends, co-workers, lovers, young and old people. A good relationship is preserved and strengthened through birthday wishes. Although birthday wishes come in numerous forms, they only have a single essence and purpose and those are to express love and serenity to one another especially on their special day and even just on simple days. Birthday quotes are also at times funny birthday wishes. An unknown author once quipped “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.” Astronaut John Glenn said what so many people feel about remembering the day of birth with “For all the advances in medicine there’s still no cure for the common birthday”. Brigitte Bardot however had a different take on the day “It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.” We especially offer birthday wishes collections that can be joined together with birthday cards and birthday gifts. You may pick your most liked birthday greetings from religious to funny. You can scribble them on birthday invitations and cards or email them to your friends and share them on Facebook for free. We have a wide selection of happy birthday quotes and wishes. If it is an inspiring Happy Birthday quote that you are searching for a special someone, then search no further. Give at your friends a memorable experience on their birthdays and put a smile on their faces with these funny birthday quotes. No matter how you send birthday wishes the best gift to offer is always an open heart and a smile.

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Looking for inspirational birthday quotes?

It is always fun to celebrate birthdays, as well as to think about the many things that have been said about or that relate to them. Aside from getting wiser, one can delight in good food and good company.

Here are some awesome birthday quotes to liven up your big day, and perhaps even share with family and friends.

Famous Birthday Quotes Celebrating Life

Since first reading Dr. Seuss, my favorite birthday quote has been:

1.) “Today you are You; that is truer than true.

There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”  – Dr. Seuss

Getting older (and hopefully wiser), we face old age, our senior years. Perhaps Emily Dickinson has the right idea:

2.) “We turn not older with years, but newer every day” – Emily Dickinson

Sam Hagar reinforced this idea saying:

3.) “Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.” – Sam Hagar

Can we live with that idea? Here’s what I always say:

4.) “Wow, thank you Lord for another great chance to make a difference.”

Yes, I am grateful that I’m still alive. But life isn’t forever, so remember:

5.) “Live as if you were to die tomorrow.

Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Henry Ford agreed:

6.) “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80.

Anyone who keeps learning stays young.

The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young”. – Henry Ford

Band leader, Les Brown emphasized:

7.) “You’re never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream” – Les Brown

George Eliot said:

8.) “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

While I was still in school, I had to read writings by ancient philosophers. I never thought they were relevant to me. As another birthday approaches, I’ve looked at some of those words of wisdom, re-evaluating their relevance.

Perhaps they are things that I’ve learned to live by, to accept – and yes – use as birthday quotes:

9.) “God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to

give ourselves the gift of living well,” – Voltaire

A great birthday quote by William Shakespeare’s is:

10.) “With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.” – William Shakespeare

Inspirational Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Mark Twain agreed,

11.) “Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.” – Mark Twain

Certainly some good things to remember as we celebrate birthdays! Samuel Ullman said:

12.) “Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Samuel Ullman

At birthday gatherings you also might also want to quote:

13.) “Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words,” – Plautus

14.) “Man’s main task in life is to give birth to himself,

to become what he potentially is,” – E. Fromm

15.) “Age is opportunity no less than youth itself,” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

16.) “Happiness is when what you think, what you say,

and what you do are in harmony,” – Mahatma Gandhi

Or you might hear:

17.) “I’m like a fine wine. They don’t bring me out very much

But, I am well preserved,” – Rose Kennedy

18.) “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,

But beautiful old people are works of art,” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Of course in discussing getting older, other pearls of wisdom are shared:

19.) “The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune,” – English Proverb

20.) “None are as old as those who have outlived enthusiasm,” – Henry David Thoreau

Birthday Quotes and sayings to uplift you

21.) “It’s not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old,

They grow old because they stop pursuing dreams,” – Gabriel G. Marquez

Another great birthday quote, this one by a comedian is:

22.) “Age is strictly a case of mind over matter.

If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter,” – Jack Benny

Another by George Burns is,

23.) “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” – George Burns

With laughter, Bob Hope said,

24.) “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope

Who would want to fix things?

25.) “If we could be twice young and twice old,

we could correct all our mistakes,” – Euripides

For those with a strong belief in God:

26.) “Our life is a gift from the Creator. Your gift back to the Creator is what you do with your life,” – Billy Mills

Hearts are always mentioned with birthdays:

27.) “Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty –

They merely move it from their faces into their hearts,” – Martin Buxbaum

28.) “The heart of the giver makes the gift dear and precious,” – Martin Luther
Some U.S. Presidents have made some birthday quotes:

29.) “Be sure you put your feet in the right place,
then stand firm,” – Lincoln

30.) “Whatever you are, be a good one.” – Lincoln

Happy Birthday Quotes that will make your day

31.) “Let us seek the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past.

Let us accept our own responsibility for the future,” – Kennedy

Words of wisdom for aging from Confucius:

32.) “Study the past if you would define the future!”

33.) “It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, so long as you don’t stop.”

34.) “Choose a job you love.You will never have to work a day in your life.”

35.) “The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.”

As we grow older, may we remember these wise quotes:

35.) “It is not the strongest of the species that survive
But the one most responsive to change,” – Darwin

36.) “It’s the mark of an educated mind to be able to
entertain a thought without accepting it,” – Aristotle

37.) “Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving,” – Einstein

38.) “Obstacles are those frightful things you see
when you take your eyes off the goal,” – Henry Ford

39.) “Don’t celebrate how old you are,
celebrate the years you survived.” – Touaxia Vang

40.) “Don’t anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen,” – Ben Franklin

Happy Birthday Quotes and Wishes to make you strong

41.) “Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.” – C.S. Lewis

42.) “Count your age by friends, not years, your life by smiles, not tears.” – John Lennon

43.) “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” – Tolkien

So, as we all age – day by day, and as I pray I get to reach 70 in a couple of years, I often repeat this quote:

44.) “I don’t mind getting older; it’s a privilege denied to so many!” ― Chris Geiger, ‘The Cancer Survivors Club’

45.) “A birthday is the anniversary of your birth. It’s the time most of us reflect over the past year and what we hope for in the coming year.” – Claudia T Hudson

46.) “Today is the oldest you have been, and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!” – Nicky Gumbel

47.) “There are two attitudes you can have when it comes to your birthday:
1. be thankful you have lived another year.
or, 2. complain about being a year older.” – Catherine Pulsifer

48.) “When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.” – Cherokee Expression

49.) “Your age isn’t you. Use today to feel your best, celebrate and be your very happiest.” – M. Rivers

50.) “A birth-date is a reminder to celebrate the life as well as to update the life.” – Amit Kalantri

More birthday quotes for friends, family and loved ones

51.) “A birthday is not a day to fear. It is a day to celebrate and look forward to the coming year.” – Byron Pulsifer

52.) “Birthdays are inevitable, beautiful and very particular moments in our lives! Moments that bring precious memories back, celebrate the present times and give hope for the future.” – Bsbr Arish

53.) “Your birthday is my pleasure. You are my sweetest treasure.” – Danny Demeersseman

54.) “We have to be able to grow up. Our wrinkles are our medals of the passage of life. They are what we have been through and who we want to be.” – Lauren Hutton

55.) “Your birthday is the beginning of your own personal new year. Your first birthday was a beginning, and each new birthday is a chance to begin again, to start over, to take a new grip on life.” – Wilfred Peterson

56.) “I enjoy celebrating birthdays. Everyone should have their birthday celebrated.” – Loraine D. Nunley

57.) “May your years be counted not by your age
but by how you spend your days.” – Catherine Pulsifer

58.) “Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.” – Jean Paul Richter

59.) “Birthdays come but once a year, celebrate and be of good cheer.” Robert Rivers

60.) “Each year as our birthday comes, our thoughts and beliefs may change a bit from year to year. But believe our wish for you is always the same, may you find happiness and blessings all of your days!” – Catherine Pulsifer

Did you find your favorite birthday quotes here?

Birthdays are special days – not only to celebrate among people we love, but also to remind us of how far we’ve come in life. During this occasion, keep these beautiful quotes handy as a gift to yourself.

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Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

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Forget about the past, you can’t change it,
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!

Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?”
Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”
“Really? like a newborn baby?”
“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.

You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar….. Yung No Mo

Act your age not your shoe size.

I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!

You think you are special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!

How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!

I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.

You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!

That awkward moment when people are singing Happy Birthday to you and you have no idea where to look.

I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!

Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!

At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.

Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.

If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.

So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.

Every once in a while, special people are put on this earth. People with deep passion, immense love for others. People with hearts much greater than average, and today, one of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
Happy Birthday.

It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can’t be changed..And, forget the present because I didn’t get you one.

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

That awkward moment when it’s your birthday and everyone is singing “Happy birthday to you” and you just stand there clueless of what to say.

Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show those who have more Birthdays live longer.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Forget the past, you can’t change.
Forget the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget the present, I didn’t get you one!

Happy Birthday!

When asked how old I am I reply, “Old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again!”

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half… Forget that, after I finally learned to talk, my parents were telling me to shut up.

I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

Of course you’re not old! You aren’t very young either.

When you are over the hill you pick up speed!

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