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Witty wedding wishes

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Witty wedding wishes
May 21, 2019 Anniversary Wishes for Wife 4 comments

Need to find something to write in a wedding card? Congratulations on your wedding, and all the best for a future full of fun Funny Ideas.

Funny wedding wishes

The words, “I do” have everlasting effect in the lives of newlyweds. Wedding is the happiest occasion in the lives of a bride and a groom. Nothing can be more binding and more significant than the vow of “for richer, for poorer.” With elaborate preparations and sacred ceremony, union of two minds, two hearts, two different lives and characters is a serious affair for both parties and their relatives, especially as this involves mental and emotional connection.



Owing to the gamut of activities and level of significance that accompanies wedding, there will nevertheless be needs to lighten the air with flush of accolades, floods of congratulations and good wishes especially with funny wedding wishes. Funny wedding wishes is a comical and essential tool to cool charged air of wedding occasion and bring laughter to all and the newlyweds. Care must be taken to avoid annoying rather than making the couples happy. You need to be familiar with the bride and groom for your comicality to work harmoniously.


Funny wedding wishes

  • Congratulations! Remember that a man is incomplete without a woman, but when his wedding is over, he is finished.
  • In marriage, love and laughter comes before blaming and shouting. Be prepared.
  • Marriage is a prison. Welcome to its seclusion. Congratulations anyway.
  • Leaving freely and happily without any life commitment is the first sacrifice made by anyone getting ready to marry. Warm up for the greater is yet to come. Best Wishes.
  • Ensure that you grab classy wedding ring so that you can recreate it in due time. Congratulations!
  • Marriage begets a child, be sure to get pregnant before marriage. Best wishes.
  • Love is the sun that initiates emergence of the flower of marriage; soon the lovebirds will draw swords of never-ending war. Love anyway. Best Wishes.
  • You loved yourselves and are so happy to be together; soon you will realize that all you do is annoy each other. Congratulations.
  • You fantasize about lovely and beautiful things for your marriage, soon you will dream about living alone surrounded with motionless hands of time. Just kidding. Enjoy your wedding.
  • It’s so wonderful seeing you awash with sweet smiles as you sign your marriage contract, soon you will wear same smiles as you sign your annulment papers. Congratulations anyway.
  • Getting married is like killing yourself. Why the lavish wedding when you can simply hang yourself. Happy Wedding!
  • Wait! Do you really want to sign that marriage contract knowing that it has no expiration period? Enjoy your wedding.
  • At first, sweet moments, kisses and hugs fill the air; soon the sweet nothings and lovely whispers give room for arguments which disappear for quarrel and total war. Congratulations!
  • He promises you heaven and earth before your wedding; afterwards, he can’t even afford to give up his salary for you. Congratulations anyway.
  • Happy married life. I hope he treats you and stays by you the way he does when he was your boyfriend. Good luck.
  • Keep rocking! I hope your love and desire for one another will be strong as when you are dating. Good luck.
  • Bride, your husband’s bank account is now in your palm; groom, be prepared. Happy married life.
  • I told you never to get married, but you will never listen. Congratulations!
  • Are you ready for him? Though he promises to lay down his life for you but after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. Good Luck.
  • Marriage is so beautiful that you have finally found that one person you want to annoy all through your life.
  • The fundamental of marriage is mutual understanding; soon this is what you will lack. Happy married life.
  • Marriage is medicine to a blind love. May you find real antidote in your marriage Congratulations!
  • If you need to transfer your fund faster than electronic banking, get married. Congratulations!
  • Thank God you are finally married; give her everything or she will take all herself. Congratulations!
  • Congratulations for the happiness you have been enjoying because after today you will have none.
  • Your must be a dupe for getting betrothed to him; he must be madly in love not to recognize it.
  • Now that you are married, it matters no more how many jobs you change, you simply will never change your only and one boss.
  • As you get married to him, remember that you are exchanging the attention of many men for his inattention.
  • Congratulations for your marriage, after all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
  • All your children but one will grow up and move away—your husband.

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Our Funny Sarcastic Humor "You're Getting Married I'm Getting Drunk Cheers" Wedding Greeting Card is Blank Inside for Your Personal Message and Best.

Funny Wedding Messages for the Happy Couple

witty wedding wishes

Funny wedding quotes

Funny marriage wishes and congratulations

You may be married, but you don't have to grow up! Congratulations on your wedding!
2 become 1: one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!
Marriage ain't for sissies! Gongrats on your first big step together.
You got together like two beans in a pod! Joy forever!
Congrats for signing your life away...
People stay married because they want to, not because the doors are locked. May you have many wonderful years ahead!
An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband!

Married life is like a walk in the park. Jurassic park!
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
Weddings are not for the faint-hearted - ask my bank manager... Have a great day!
Welcome to the dangerous world of married life. It's too late to repent! Have an amazing journey!
Bride: "I do!"
Groom: "I do what she says..."
Do you know what late nights, parties and weekend hanging out with friends have in common? You won’t have all of them from now on... :)


Funny quotes for wedding cards

Marriage marks the end of a love story and the start of a wrestling match. Wishing you the very best of everything anyway.
In life we should always keep our eyes wide open. However, after marriage it‘s better to close them! Congratulations and Good Luck!
As you wed today, here's my advice for the newlyweds - stay married! The best is yet to be!
May your day be extra special and fun - because tomorrow the hard work begins!
Gedding married means sharing your toys...
Husbands are like orangutans trying to play the violin.
The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
All marriages are happy. Troubles are caused only by living together.
A big day is coming up. You only have to make one decision at wedding, so choose carefully!
Why marry when jumping in front of a train is easier and faster?! Just kidding! Hope your wedding finds you smiling :)
Before you got married, you were madly in love with each other. Now you will'be be mad at each other as well.
I'll tell you the secret of a happy marriage. It remains... a secret to all! Wishing you all the best for the times ahead!

Funny advices for a wedding

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Funny Wedding Wishes

witty wedding wishes

It is an extremely emotional time when your best friend gets married, but you can always make it somewhat light-hearted with funny wedding wishes for best friend. After all, fun is the USP of your friendship, isn’t it?

You always have a special connection with your best friend, and well that is the reason that they are your best friends. You have had similar interests, or may be shared childhood moments or sometimes have bonded over the common enemies to get you where you are right now of being each other’s best friends.

It could be any of these reasons that you became how close you are today, and one thing that you surely share is the wicked sense of humour that only you two find funny. We thought why not honour that sense of humour and give you some funny wedding wishes for best friend that will surely choke them up to laugh their heart out in the middle of their wedding function. This is the best possible wedding gift you could give to your BFF.

These funny wedding wishes for best friend might be one of the few things that would make them laugh at such an overly emotional moment of their life. And if you are confused about what funny wishes for best friend should you write down then make your friends read this out and choose the best one for you.

For Your Female Best Friends

The bond that two girlfriends share is similar to what two sisters would share. This means the teasing is also similar to how it goes on between two sisters. Thus, funny wedding wishes for best friend who is a girl definitely has to be one that you wouldn’t want outsiders to ever hear. 

1. The only upside to your wedding is that now you have someone else who you can irritate when you are bored

2. Your wedding marks the end of your love story and the start of a new everlasting headache

3. Congrats on your first adopted baby! Your husband!

4. Your life had something missing without your would-be. But with them, you are completely finished

5. Don’t worry. If not with this one, you will get it right with the next one.

6. The actual way to keep your married life perfect is to let your husband think he is making all the decisions and do things your own way. Things will go your way and he won’t know any better.

7. Do not expect that your husband will change after marriage. You will have to guide him through the process.

8. Getting married is like reading Shakespeare you get comedy, you get romance and you get a whole lot of history and tragedy.

9. If you were dying to cook for someone your whole life, you could have just come to me!

Personally, we're partial to points 3, 5 and 9 in this set of funny wedding wishes for best friend ideas.

For  Your Male Best Friends

Now, if this is for a male best friend then there is nothing better. Poking fun at them is a beautiful and hilarious process and you wouldn’t let go off of them on this important day. Your funny wedding wishes for best friend who is a male can easily shift from being hilarious to rather offensive at times, and we still love every bit of them.

10. Your life had something missing without your would-be. But with them, you are completely finished.

11. A marriage is like a give and take. You give always and they take forever

12. If all you wanted was bondage, you could have looked for a less permanent one than marriage.

13. In every argument you have, remember, one of you is going to be right, but you will have to concede no matter who that person is.

14. The only difference being married and being stupid is that when you marry, you are paying someone to conduct that stupid act.

15. On your wedding day, I would like to disclose the secret to a happy married life...well it is such a secret that no one knows it. Here’s wishing you both a very happy married life.

16. Never laugh at her choices. You are her biggest one.

If You Know Both The Bride And Groom

Baiting one might be fun, but baiting both the bride and groom is the bomb. Funny wedding wishes for best friend are all the more fun if both the friends are in on the joke. They can both look at each other and roll their eyes wondering why they deserve friends like you. 

17. Life after marriage is like a walk in a park. The only problem is that the park is on fire.

18. Going out with your friends and colleagues will only happen in your dreams. Happy Married life

19. Congratulations. Now all the “When are you going to get married” are going to stop, and “When is the baby due” going to start.

20. I cannot wait for you two to fight as a married couple, especially if you are this entertaining before marriage already.

21. If you are happy even after marriage, then one of you is definitely hiding something.

22. Tying the knot is downloading new software into the computer. You accept all terms and conditions without knowing what they are all about.

23. Your marriage today marks the end of your happy love story and marks the beginnings of your never-ending war. May the best player win.

24. What do late night parties, outing with friends and lazy weekends have in common? They all disappear after you get married.

Reading these funny wedding wishes for best friend might be fun, but using them on your best friend and embarrassing them at their wedding is what friends live for. So go on wish your best friend for their marriage and let them know how happy you are for them. So, which of these would you dedicate to your BFF as their wedding gift?

Tell us in comments which are your favourite funny wedding wishes for best friend that you’d love to try.

Below you'll find a huge range of wedding wishes and messages for cards. In addition, this “What to Wedding card funny messages. Marriage lets you annoy .

Funny wedding wishes

witty wedding wishes

When it comes to weddings, the average length of an American engagement is 16 months. During this period, couples purchase an average of $4 billion in furniture, $3 billion housewares, and $400 million in tablewares. An estimated 17% of men are willing to work overtime to pay for a ring. Half of men prefer to have their fiance with them to choose the ring. A series of witty wedding card messages are listed below that capture the humor and feelings of many guests that attend weddings.

All weddings are happy. It’s living together afterwards that’s difficult!

As you walk down the aisle, don’t be nervous about saying ‘I do’ because you don’t have a choice anyways. Good luck and congratulations.

Before you get married, you will be madly in love with each other. After you get married, you will just be mad at each other. Congratulations.

Being married is like any other job; it helps if you like your boss!

Do you know that you are signing a marriage contract which does not give you the option of renewing it every year? Congratulations for signing your life away.

Do you know what late nights, parties and hanging out with friends on the weekend have in common? You won’t be able to do any of those from now on. Congratulations for your wedding.

Getting married is like being in drama school. You get to practice everything from comedy to melodrama to tragedy. Congratulations.

I cancelled all my appointments and an important meeting just so that I could make it to your wedding. After all, free booze was just too lucrative to give up. Congratulations.

I know I am going to have an awesome time attending your wedding because I will be reminded of all the money I will be saving by not getting married. Congratulations.

I wanted to get you a life preserver as a wedding gift just in case.

If you are not going to put on a life jacket before taking the plunge, at least take swimming lessons.

In the circus of life, you may have lived like a lion so far. But your wife, the new circus master will tame you into a domesticated cat in no time. Good luck for your tight rope act.

Knowing the entrepreneurial couple that you are, I was wondering if you could give me some insider tips so I can place my bets on how long you both will last? Congratulations for getting hitched.

Marriage doesn’t mean you own the other person, just their stuff.

Marriage is happiness times two, anger times two and frustrations times three. (The third comes in when her best friend is called).

Marriages are all about sacrifice, hardships and letting go. Are you really sure you want to get married?

No amount of heartfelt congratulatory wishes that I give you on your wedding will protect you from the painful life of slavery you are about to start as a husband. Congratulations anyway.

Now that you are married, you must master the art of saying yes when you actually want to say no. Congratulations on your wedding.

On your wedding day today, you have now become two from one. Does that mean I will get two birthday gifts from you every year? Congratulations for getting married.

our wedding signals the change of status in your life. Your relationship status on Facebook will change from single to married while your real life’s status will change from being available to being busy. Congratulations.

Rule number one once married, do not talk to people of the opposite sex naked.

Saying I do while getting married is like blindly clicking on the I Accept checkbox while installing new software in your computer. You do it despite having no clue of what will come next. Congratulations on getting married.

Stay in love, stay married, stay hopeful, most of all, stay together – divorce is too expensive.

The best part about your wedding is that it gives me many more parties to look forward to in the next few years – a party for your first anniversary, new home, new baby and your partner’s birthday. Congratulations buddy.

The only difference between marriage and stupidity is that marriage is expensive while stupidity comes free of cost. Congratulations for being expensively stupid.

The person who refused to take a holiday with his friends because it was too expensive, is now blowing up all his money on his grand wedding. Welcome to married life buddy. Congratulations.

There is nothing worse than a friend getting married. Now my parents have one more reason to coax me into getting married. Congratulations.

Today I have realized that life is not fair for single people like me. Until now I had to buy you a gift only once a year on your birthday. Now I have two birthdays plus a wedding anniversary to buy gifts for. Congratulations to my best friend for getting married.

Walking down the aisle on your wedding marks your first step in walking towards a hurricane called Marriage. Good luck.

Wedding – one of the biggest expense of your life which marks the beginning of many more expenses including shopping, gifts, day care, schooling for children and possibly even alimony. Good luck to you.

You haven’t just tied the knot with your wife today, you have tied ropes on your legs too. Congratulations on your wedding.

You will have moments when you really love each other, then there will be the rest of the time.

Your match wasn’t made in heaven. It was made in my bedroom that you two used so often. Congratulations to my best buddies for getting married.

Your wedding wows are actually an unsaid contract in which you agree to be tied down to your spouse all your life. Congrats buddy.

Your wife complements you perfectly. She shadows all your flaws and accentuates your qualities. Now we know why you decided to get married. Congratulations.

The average cost of a wedding ring is $2,100 in the United States. An estimated 7 out of 10 women prefer their man to save up enough money to buy the ring of their dreams before proposing. Almost three quarters of brides receive an engagement ring that has diamonds. The below infographic outlines interesting facts and statistics about an American engagement.

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“Best wishes on this blessed day.” “Sending you prayers for a marriage filled with love and joy.” Funny Wedding Card Wishes. “Hope you guys have more belly.

witty wedding wishes
Written by Minris
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