New Babies, Weddings, Birthdays, Anniversaries and more Office, including the online greeting card request form and instructions. after the event date, except for wedding congratulations and newborn acknowledgments.
Sometimes, you're simply unable to attend a wedding you've been invited to—and that's completely fine. The couple should know to expect 10–20 percent of RSVP cards to come back with "regrets." That said, declining their invite shouldn't be a decision you make lightly—they've specifically requested you to be present on a very significant day for them, so your "no" is more than nothing. Here are a few etiquette-friendly ways to decline a wedding invitation with tact and love.
If you can't make it to the wedding, you still have to RSVP (on time!). Are you close to the couple, or do you share a special friendship with one of their families? In addition to sending back the RSVP card, consider including a brief, hand-written note (these never go out of style) including your thoughts and best wishes. Wedding etiquette suggests you do your best to include the reason(s) you can't come, but don't focus solely on bad news when there's so much to be happy about. Use the opportunity to congratulate the happy couple and send regards to their families.
Here's a suggestion of what you might say:
Dear Jonathan and Michael,
We are so excited to hear about your upcoming wedding. Thank you both so much for including us in your event. Unfortunately, we won't be able to attend, as we will be traveling to Vermont the same weekend to attend the graduation of our niece. If we could only be in two places at once!
We will be thinking of you on June 24, and sending our love and best wishes your way.
Emily and David Smith
We all know things come up, and like we mentioned, it's okay to decline an invitation. But when explaining why you won't be there, use good judgment. If you can't attend because the wedding conflicts with a long scheduled appointment with a hard-to-book psychic, it might be better to decline without details. Sometimes it's better for the couple not to know.
Get personal and give the couple a ring. Please don't leave this chat to the last minute, though—like 15 minutes before they exchange vows. Give your loved ones a call as soon as you know you won't be attending (usually between four to six weeks before the event). It's always nice to hear the voice of a good friend, especially at such an exciting time.
We love this idea for anyone very close to the couple. Write the couple a sweet toast and mail or email it to a designated wedding attendant. At the reception, the best man, maid of honor or one of the newlyweds can read your sentiments aloud. You'll forever be a part of this special moment, even if it takes place on another continent.
Spend a day or evening with the couple before their wedding. Treat them to dinner, drinks, a show, a sports game—whatever they love to do. No promises it won't spark some wedding day FOMO, but you'll definitely see more of the couple than you would've at the reception. That's some consolation, right?
While sending a gift is not technically a equirement, it's always a thoughtful gesture to choose something from their registry or contribute to their Newlywed Fund. While it's always wise to gift from the registry, you could also send flowers, a bottle of wine, a specialty spirit, a gift certificate or great tickets. Let your imagination be your guide.
It's okay, you can admit it: You can sometimes be a little flaky (you're not alone). But when it comes to wedding RSVPs should respond one time and stick to it. You can't imagine how difficult it is to plan a wedding when someone keeps changing their mind. Make a decision, however difficult, and go with it.
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Like most couples, James and I moved in together before we got married. We had everything we needed to make a house a home and we didn’t need anything to help us prepare for married life. So when a friend asked us about our wedding gift, we realised we had no idea what to ask for and with a few months to go we needed to make the decision. This is how we looked at it:
There are three options. Option one, we could request nothing and leave it to our guests’ discretions to bring a wedding present of their choice. The risk is that they’ll get us something we won’t like or use – wasteful. Option two, we create a wedding gift registry from a department store and rack our brains for items that we might find useful – wasteful and lacking sentimentality. The third option is the worst - the dreaded wedding wishing well.
As the majority of modern couples co-habit first, the wedding wishing well has soared in popularity in the last decade and it’s eliminating the need for traditional gifts. Instead, brides ask for financial contributions towards honeymoons or house deposits. By framing this cash advance as a ‘wedding wishing well’ they hope that any associations of poor taste will be disguised.
If these considerations sound familiar, I can assure you from personal experience as a wedding planner, a bride and a guest – that you're not alone.
I will admit that we considered a wedding wishing well, for all of 15 uncomfortable minutes. We just couldn’t ignore our instincts that it felt wrong to ask for money on such an emotional occasion. And having read the arguments for and against, I stand by this. Those who condone it argue that it’s common practice in Eastern cultures and it makes sense for couples that live together. But I remain unconvinced. Requesting money for any reason through a wedding wishing well is socially awkward and there are much better alternatives. So if your gut is telling you it’s wrong, like mine was, then you’re right. And here are 10 good reasons why.
Not just for brides and bridegrooms, but for guests too. Money requires no thought or effort. Can you imagine giving your friend cash in a card for her birthday? She’d think you hadn’t spent a second considering something she’d like. What about the thought that counts? Giving is important.
Would you ask your friends for money at your birthday party? Of course you wouldn’t. You can’t hide behind wishing well poems and italic fonts. You’re saying ‘We want your cash’ and it’s embarrassing for everybody involved.
If a fortunate couple has everything they want, why do they need my money? I attend weddings to celebrate the love between two people I’m close to. This isn’t a get together so I can help them pay off their credit card bill.
The real beauty of a wedding gift is the accompanying thought. A guest has put their heart and soul into a gift that they believe you will treasure. I don’t see anyone pouring emotion into a blank envelope. Money is not sentimental, you can’t put a personal stamp on it.
Money makes people uneasy in conversations. The same applies to weddings. How much is too little and how much is too much? As a wedding planner, I’m often on the receiving end of a panicked phone call from a fellow guest who thinks I know the appropriate amount. I feel worse for grandparents or friends who aren’t as financially free. If it is your wedding, you are a host and there is nothing ruder than making a guest feel uncomfortable.
There’s nothing graceful about guests opening their wallets in the middle of your Reception. A wedding day is supposed to be the epitome of elegance, style and sophistication and you can’t achieve that with cash piling up in the corner of the room.
You choose to get a wedding wishing well. You get the money you need to pay for the honeymoon of your dreams. And then it’s gone and you go back to your home filled with the things you’ve always owned and you have nothing to show for your wedding day. That fills me with sadness. Yes you have experiences, but what can you hold, feel and fondly remember your wedding day with on your return, let alone your 50th anniversary?
Wedding wishing well poems might tell guests the reason for their donation, but guests never see the actual fruits of their offering. How do I know my $200 wasn’t spent on that week’s petrol or the groceries? It could well have been and it’s a depressing thought.
No matter how many pretty pleases and obsequious thank you cards, I am immune to the apparent charm of wedding wishing well poems. Most of them are copied and pasted from Google. In fact, when I see a wedding wishing well, I can get defensive. Does my friend dislike my taste in gifts? What about that scarf I gave her for Christmas? For some of my couple friends, I can’t help suspecting that they’re asking for money because they don’t trust their guests’ taste in gifts.
Earlier on, I provided three choices for co-habiting couples that can’t decide on their wedding gift. But there’s actually a fourth option, which eradicates all of the above issues and it’s the one we went with.
An online wedding gift registry is the answer! No cash, no awkwardness, no waste; it brings your family and friends together and lets them see their offering brought to visual life. There are a lot of different ones out there so be sure to use one that works for you.
We used The Gift Collective to acquire a piece of art that we’ve been longing for since we first met. We can’t wait to hang it on our wall after the wedding to show our family and friends how much it means to us. Most importantly it allowed our guests to give a meaningful gift on our special day.
The Gift Collective ensures you receive a once-in-a-lifetime, unique wedding gift of your choice that comes from the hearts of all of your guests. And it makes every guest feel that their gift is unique and means something significant. The Gift Collective gives you something to treasure forever, a stunning reminder of the day that everyone toasted to your relationship, your dreams and your future.
Create A Gift Registry Today!
We know we know…you are all set to enjoy the "shaadi ka season” with endless excitement. When the two hearts agree to carry on with their silly fights all life long, that’s where the wedding fun begins. Weddings are considered to be the biggest affairs, especially in India. We like to ponder our love and affection on "dulha-dulhan” to be and between all the planning sessions we want to write something very special for the couple on their big day. You must be looking for some of the best wedding wishes and we want you to know that you’ve landed in the perfect place. As like every couple every shaadi is also unique and we believe that your wishes must be "hatke” too. We can help you with the fresh and amazing Indian wedding quotes. You can add the magical quotes along with sweet handwritten notes to congratulate the "would be” couple. Isn't that cute? Here you will find the most trending quotes that can make you stand out from the crowd as you will be sharing the unique quotes. We will be updating you with the fresh and the coolest wedding day wishes for your loved ones.
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