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Humorous birthday wishes for men

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May 18, 2019 Anniversary Wishes for Wife 1 comment

69 Funny Birthday Card Messages, Wishes & Quotes. May 9, 2019 . Man, you' re missing opportunities the other 364 days! 12. I decided to.

Birthday is an opportunity to make people feel loved and remembered. So, happy birthday wishes sum up joy, laughter, love and jokes in a very optimistic way, and even though life had many challenges and plenty of reasons not to smile, happy birthday funny quotes and images will remind the beautiful things in the world and put a smile on their face.

Birthdays are really joyful and funny occasions. You should give the birthday messages careful thought. Just to be on the humorous side of things, think of your friend’s personality, and you can always find funniest jokes or hilarious one liners for your greetings.

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. tweet

I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date! tweet

Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it. tweet

The Impressive List Of Funny Birthday Wishes & Quotes

  • Having friends never has been more awesome! You truly are a great person to have around, even when you eat everything on the table. We still love you anyway! Wishing you a very funny happy birthday.
  • Hi, my big brother, Surprize, you are become old. I remember our childhood and I surprize your facial change but one thing is not change. That is your big smiling on your face. If I don’t see that smiling, I will not be happy. Don’t care this wrinkles, that is not a wrinkles, all is a experiences. Happy birthday my brother and closest friend.
  • One of the best pieces of advice in life is “you have to appreciate the little things”. That said, I know that spotting little things is easier said than done at your age! Have a great happy birthday fun!
  • My dearest friend, I know that you will love the gift I have bought you for tonight, but knowing your craving for sugar, you will probably be too busy stuffing your face with your own birthday to appreciate it. Have an amazing happy birthday fun!
  • Hey, I know your real age, Please don’t lie everyone. I think every age has specific opportunity and happy. Don’t be past. Happy funny birthday and have a wonderful year like your age
  • I can’t believe how big you’re getting! Long gone are the days when I could steal cake from your plate and no one would ever be the wiser. Wishing you a playful funny happy birthday.
  • Hey brother, read this message until end. And don’t be hate to me:) Come and look from your room’s window to the trees you planted. Are there very difficult? As if my say is of course yes. The trees like you, they are very tall and fat like you. One minute, hey bro you should go to gym. I’m serious. Anyways, the trees you planted become old like you. But you are still my favorite person in the world. Happy funny birthday bro.
  • May your life be long and useful like a tissue paper so that whenever you unroll a day it always brings you success and victory. Happy birthday sister, have a great joy today.
  • Today, I will not lie to you but may this is painful for you. And This will be my gift for your birthday. All of years, you looking very younger than past years I said. But this is a big lie, sorry bro and happy funny birthday, if you can celebrate this. ahaha.
  • Hurry up stupid!! There is not enough time for your birthday. But still, you don’t have a girlfriend to celebrate your success or to enjoy your time. Your time is passing, do you understand me? Hurry up, because you are older than before your every passing time. Happy birthday and I wish to you a girlfriend you wanted.
  • Remembering all the dumb stuff we’ve done throughout the years, I’m considering myself lucky you still are alive to celebrate another year of being reckless. But that is what makes you yourself, so never stop doing dumb stuff with me, my friend. Have a great happy birthday fun!
  • I had an idea for your birthday. Your birthday cake which we wanted is too heavy. And we can’t carried this cake. Why? Because weight of the cake is your age. Come on and help us and let’s eat this delicious cake. Happy funny birthday and enjoy this day. Have a wonderful year.
  • You think you are special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!
  • Mum, it’s that time of year again! You do make it hard for us, don’t you?! You never chose a favorite cake for us to get, or special thing for us to do. You can never give us a list of things you want or favorite meal for us to prepare! You are the hardest woman on earth to please! For these reasons we were forced to make it up, so don’t blame us if the day is not up to scratch! Happy Birthday to the world’s biggest fence-sitting mum!
  • Today is your day but it is ordinary day for us because all days is special with you.
    Feel ordinary is normally. Enjoy to very ordinary day. I wish you an amusing birthday.
  • Sometimes the number is a just number. If exactly the number is a age. Don’t care wrinkles on your handsome face. You are more handsome with its. Feel free, live what you want and don’t pass life. I love you brother. Have a hilarious birthday.
  • Tonight, we will celebrate the birth of the oldest of the old! The antiques in the front row of the store! The person that is now one year closer to arthritis! Nah….just kidding, you still have plenty of juice left in you, and you will keep on having it for plenty of years to come. Wishing you a very amusing happy birthday.
  • I think you should get in Guinness Book of Records. ”The oldest person in the world” I don’t know your really age but you are looking so old. Forgive me but this is true. Anyways, have an entertaining birthday but you should write your testament.
  • You know you are getting old when instead of blowing of a candle, you put it off with your saliva because your lungs are too old to produce air. Wishing you happy birthday niece, let lighten up and laugh more.
  • At least today be more happy than yesterday because today is your birthday, your special day. The burning candles, the smiling faces and lovely wishes waiting for you this evening. Don’t care your age, your are just very old and enjoy all of time. But be careful your health, you are not young like old days.
  • How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Wishing you a joyful happy birthday.
  • Of course, you can imagine and hope for amazing gifts, romantic quotes and the girl who loves you. But there are just in your dreams. Not be in reality, sorry but this true and trues can be painful. At least enjoy your dream but live in reality because dreams are waste of time, most of time. Look your around and happy be with this. I wish you amusing birthday with funny mood.
  • Not quite an adult, but no longer a child. This is one of the toughest ages of your life. You have most of life’s firsts to look forward to, and a whole mess of early mistakes to leave behind. Let me give you one single piece of advice, that I wish someone had told me when I was your age: Stay away from bad boys. Wishing you a very funny happy birthday.
  • Dear Brother, I don’t know that do you remember? We did watch so many cartoons with each other. We know they are not real. However you don’t believe me that I know but Batman taked cake ingredients, Hulk maked the cake and Superman brought the cake our doorstep. Hurry up, if you don’t believe me now, they will eat your delicious cake.
  • Smile because today is your birthday. Be happy and remember that things could be worse. Just think about what you’ll be like in ten years yikes! Have happy birthday blessings my dear friend.
  • I know it’s tough not being able to see the toppings of your birthday cake due to it all being covered in candles, both that and the fact that old age has diminished your eyesight, but rejoice! At least retirement is coming soon! Happy birthday you antique!
  • Hello my the brother who I don’t believe you are my brother. Really I didn’t like you anytime from your born. Finally the last year was over and you become more boring and stupid than last year. Finally the last year was over. Although squeeze perfumes you are smelling dirty… Hey you don’t be sad, it is all joke my brother hahaha. Happy birthday bro.
  • If you were a boy I would be telling you to have a great time, not to be shy, to be brave, talk to everyone and not to get into too much trouble! But since you’re a girl I’m obliged to remind you that talking to strangers is a bad idea. Stay away from all naughty looking boys and don’t get into any trouble at all! Enjoy! Have a funny happy birthday!
  • Dear brother, I have bad news for you. We didn’t buy the birthday cake for you because we don’t have money enough for its. We have only candles and lighter. And now it’s oil is end. Do you feel sad, come on! But if I say to you, all is joke. Come on to us and let’s celebrate your birthday, We all have amazing gifts for you. You deserve all, and happy birthday bro.

CLICK HERE for 269+ MOST Funny Birthday Wishes EVER 2019! Wishes Number 12 birthday wish. 1. “Two older men sit on a park bench.

Funny Birthday Sayings and Quotes

humorous birthday wishes for men

Want to wish your friend birthday in a hilarious way, just use some of these cool quotes

First below are written quotes,

To directly view image birthday quotes just scroll below !

It is always to nice celebrate the birthday of your loved ones with nice and meaningful quotes that will make them feel that they are loved and cared for.

Below are some of the funny birthday quotes.

•May your life be long and useful like a tissue paper so that whenever you unroll a day it always brings you success and victory.

• May you live as long as the earth exist.

•May you live to complete the circuit of life,hoping to see you one day when you are one month old starting another circle of life.

•You should celebrate everyday like it is your birthday because life is too short to let a day go.

•You know you are getting old when instead of blowing of a candle,you put it off with your saliva because your lungs are too old to produce air.

•A year has 365 days but it is only a day that you receive presents and birthday wishes,yet some people only miss to wish you,here is a special wish from me.

•All the world is a birthday cake so take a piece of it but not too much,a piece is sweet but all of it is poison.

•You know you are getting old when the birthday candle is more expensive than the cake itself.

•In any birthday,people need your presence more than the presents,so availing yourself is a present in presences.

•The best way to celebrate your wife birthday is to do it once.

•Being old is not a sin,happy birthday .

•Many people remember presents more than the years they have while celebrating their birthdays.

•It is a good feeling when you forget your birthday and someone remembers it for you.

•We ought to grow up and make the wrinkles our medals of the life we have come through,they are us and what makes us celebrate each birthday.

•The more you enjoy and celebrate your life,the more is in life to celebrate.

•Every year in your birthday you can an opportunity to start a fresh.

•How can you celebrate your birthday if you don’t know your years.

 

Now here are funny birthday image quotes

 

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Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

humorous birthday wishes for men

Choosing a birthday card is just half the battle; now you have to think of something funny to write inside. We’ve scoured the internet, searched our own cards and trawled thousands of ideas to bring you a list of the 69 funniest things you can say inside your card. From the rude and offensive to the cheeky and light-hearted messages, simply choose your favourite and pass it off as your own. You’re welcome!

General Funny Birthday Wishes

1. I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!
2. Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
3. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
4. May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care less about.
5. On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high, and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there.
6. You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
7. Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
8. If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!
9. Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!
10. It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
11. Right, let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night 😉
12. Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
13. Congratulations on getting slightly older!
14. Well done – you have still been alive for several years!

Old Age Jokes

1. Happy birthday – I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me 
2. Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!
3. Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…
4. If you look back through all the years you’ve lived, the first thing you’ll notice is that you need a telescope.
5. Happy birthday – So far, this is the oldest you’ve ever been!
6. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year… if you make it!
7. If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!
8. Yes, we have reached that age… when every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age’. You’re still looking great though… for your age!
9. As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
10. Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake.
11. We all knew this day was coming. It’s best to just suck it up and accept it’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public.
12. Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!
13. I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now… you’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.
14. Just remember the more candles on the cake, the bigger the cake you’ll get! Now who’s laughing?
15. Another year older and you’re one step closer to getting those Velcro shoes!
16. Remember that age is just a number… just a really, REALLY high one in your case!
17. I regret to inform you that your childhood has EXPIRED.

Rude Birthday Messages

1. Happy birthday! Let’s celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else’s bed…
2. I hope you have a happy annual celebration of escaping from your mum’s uterus. I wish that you may never again have to return to your dark underwater prison.
3. Birthdays are like bogeys. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
4. I hope your birthday is better than walking through a fart with your mouth open.
5. Since it’s your birthday, I’ll let you leave the lights on.
6. May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows.
7. I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world, naked and screaming!
8. Some say that age is just a number. I say that’s bullsh**. I mean, you’re getting really old. Happy birthday anyway.
9. Happy birthday… congratulations on now being of the age where understand the horror of waking yourself up with your own fart!
10. You might be old, but you’re still a d***.
11. Older and wiser… but still a bit of a pr***.
12. I didn’t know where to start on your birthday present so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours I found some really good stuff. But then I remembered I was supposed to be finding you a birthday present and it was too late. Sorry!
13. Have a mucking farvellous birthday!
14. Some things are better with age. Too bad you aren’t one of them.

Sarcastic Birthday Messages

1. You’re the least famous person I know of who was born on your birthday.
2. I couldn’t think of a message that would make you laugh for your birthday card… you’re too boring…
3. I hope your birthday is better than the card I sent you…
4. Seriously, I don’t know how many more of your birthdays I can handle.
5. Another year older… and you still can’t grow a beard.
6. If I made fun of how many years old you are, it would be beyond funny.
7. Getting someone as awesome as me to send a birthday message to you, has undoubtedly been your biggest achievement this year.
8. Congratulations on being a year older and still maintaining such a low level of maturity; you are truly an inspiration.
9. Happy birthday! Here is a piece of card to show you how little I care…
10. What are you so happy about? It’s your birthday and you are going to have to spend a lot of money to keep us happy. At least have fun doing it!
11. Life was meant to be celebrated more often than just one day a year. Man, you’re missing opportunities the other 364 days!
12. I decided to keep having birthdays because it beats the alternative… Death.

Belated Birthday Wishes

1. I know you had lots of birthday wishes yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? Me, that’s who. Happy belated birthday!
2. I’m sorry my birthday wishes are belated—I honestly didn’t think you’d live this long. Happy birthday!
3. Sorry I wasn’t there with you to mourn the loss of your youth. Happy birthday!
4. It’s not your fault, buddy. No one can help the fact that you’re growing old, and that I totally forgot… Happy belated birthday!
5. You’re amazing, wise, super cool, fantastic, brilliant, intelligent – but don’t get too excited. I’m only saying all these things because I’m a couple of days late! Happy birthday!
6. It wasn’t my fault… Facebook forgot to remind me about your birthday!
7. It’s so tough to believe that you are getting older, that I decided to wish you happy birthday late this year.
8. Sorry I missed your birthday… hopefully you’ll have another one next year…

Funny Birthday Quotes

1. Two things that are inevitable for any living person are birthdays and taxes.
2. Birthdays are like cheese. They stink more the older they get.
3. Aging is the worst side effect of birthdays.
4. There’s really only one true birthday. The rest are simply anniversaries of the day of a person’s birth.
5. Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.
6. The old pessimist focuses on his growing number. The old optimist focuses on his growing blessings.
7. Getting older is just part of life… and the other parts are even worse.
8. The older you get, the more disoriented your hair gets. Once it leaves your head, it seems to get lost.

If you are looking for a funny birthday card, browse through our funny birthday cards range.

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To the best of all friends, the most outrageously and utterly funny, I wish all the happiness in the world, and a truly amazing day. Have a joyous bday, my man!.

269+ Most Funny Birthday Wishes EVER

humorous birthday wishes for men

Birthdays are joyful occasions! They mark dates in which special people came into this world. The best people that one can be associated with are the ones who appreciate funny things in life. Being able to laugh about situations, even the fact that one is getting older, is a good thing! It is the sign of someone who knows how to handle different occurrences and has a great sense of humor! Of course, teasing should always be handled with care, because you wouldn’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings, let alone on their birthday…

To celebrate the special people you associate with who know not to take life too seriously, one must send them messages that are funny. Located here are messages you can send to friends, women, and men that are humorous and commemorate their special days in the light-hearted ways that suit their personalities.

Contents

Hilarious Birthday Messages for Friends

  • When I looked at the date, I realized that it was your birthday, friend! When I thought about the year in which you were born, I almost fainted! You don’t look a day over a hundred!
  • Today, my friend, you have made me grateful for something…that I’m not the oldest person here!
  • Friend, on this day of the year, many, many years ago, you were born! I guess that’s something!
  • Friend, I hope that a million birthday wishes come true for you! It will match your age!
  • If I tried to count up to your age today, I would go hoarse! Happy Birthday, buddy!
  • Happy Birthday, friend! You were educated in the old ways! The pyramids wouldn’t have been built without you!
  • Happy Birthday to a friend, who is unforgettable! Mainly because you are the grayest one here!
  • Before there were maps, people used the stars to guide them. You would know!
  • Today friend, you should be glad! You can paint on canvas and not in a cave!
  • On this date friend, you might ache a little more. That is because you are old!
  • Remembering you today, friend, is easy! The sheer number of your years is astounding!
  • Friend, don’t mind me, but ask anyone and they’ll tell you the same: calling you young would be a mistake! A HUGE mistake!
  • Cheers to a friend who can tell me when bread was only five cents!
  • As your friend, I am here to remind you of significant things! Like always use Bengay!
  • Friend, some people are obsessed with age! Like me! I can’t believe how old you are!
  • Today, friend, count your blessings, not your years. You don’t have that kind of time!
  • Friend, you really exemplify a phrase, for me! Long in the tooth, comes to mind!
  • Now is the time to tell you what you truly are, friend! An old geezer!
  • Happy Birthday, friend! Age is not a big deal… to me! I’m still young!
  • Happy Birthday, friend! You are as old as you are dear to me!
  • Dear friend, I know you know who I am, but I hope you get tons of wishes from all those other stalkers on the web who call themselves your ‘friends’ too.
  • I was going to send your gift in the mail, but the mail service said I weighed too much, so here I am.
  • Hey bestie, I know you are sad about your age this year, but no worries- I’m here to blow out your candles for you so you can feel like a real kid again!
  • We have stuck by each other through thick and thin. We’ve been there for each other all these years and we’re still two bitches who are better together than apart. That says something, don’t you think? Stay fabulous, babe.
  • Wait, you are how old? Oh jeez, that’s almost dead in doggy years. I’m so glad we met when we’re kids. Happy birthday, bestie.

 

Absurd Birthday Messages for a Woman

  • May your hair dye and mascara never run! Happy Birthday, old lady!
  • Cheers to a woman who has been thirty, fifty times!
  • Happy Birthday, to an ancient woman! Someday, you will tell me what it was like to build Stonehenge!
  • You are no longer a young woman. That’s all I got!
  • Wishing you the very best! Goodness, woman! You are really old! I mean, really, really…
  • When you were born, the sun shone…for the very first time!
  • Happy Birthday to the woman who has it all! One hundred years of accumulation would result in that!
  • Cheers to a woman who rises above others! In age and amount of wrinkles!
  • Happy Birthday to a friend that has no secrets from me but always fills in her ‘birth date’ field alone.
  • Looking at you fills me with hope! A woman can live to be a hundred!
  • Now, you can tell me what it’s like to be the oldest woman there is!
  • Today, avoid all mirrors! You don’t want to see that old lady!
  • Cheers to a woman who has dyed her gray hair so many times, she doesn’t remember what its original color is!
  • Here is to all the years that you have been alive, and the cake budget we cut down, just because candles cost a lot! Happy Birthday, woman!
  • There is something that makes you stand out, woman! I know what it is: your age!
  • Today, girl, there are things to marvel at! Like the length of time that you have been here!
  • You are a woman whose very presence makes others happy! Thanks for reminding us that we’re not as old as you!
  • Happy Birthday, woman! Sometimes, I feel like you have been around, forever! (That’s because you have!)
  • Looking at you, woman, reminds me of a simpler time. Like, before there was electricity!
  • Cheers to a woman who stays young! (Only because she lies about her age) Best wishes!

Funny Happy Birthday Quotes for a Man

  • Cheers to an old man who still thinks he is young! Call it “experience” and enjoy your birthday, anyway!
  • Here is to another year of a receding hairline and holding in that gut!
  • Since the dawn of time, you have been here! Today, is no different!
  • Your beard may be gray, your wrinkles may be deep, but hey, at least there is cake!
  • Here is hoping that toupee and girdle works out for you! Happy Birthday, old man!
  • A man like you deserves to have fond memories of his childhood, recalled to him. Unfortunately, there are no more dinosaurs!
  • Happy Birthday, to a man who has witnessed great things! Invention of the wheel, the first cave drawing…
  • Today, you have officially gotten past things! Like youth and hair that isn’t gray! Happy Birthday, man!
  • Today, reflect on the fact that you have been here from the beginning! I mean, the very beginning! Happy Birthday, man!
  • On this day, some people will tell you that you are still a young man. Those people are liars!
  • Man, you are like a tree in the woods! Old and still managing to stay grounded!
  • Today is a day to ask important questions! Like, why are you so old?
  • Cheers to a man who thinks he is still thinks he is young, but isn’t! You have really embraced delusion!
  • As your birthday approaches, you might dread becoming an old man. Don’t worry about that! You already are!
  • Today, you have really achieved something! How does it feel to be the oldest man alive?
  • If someone doesn’t acknowledge your age, then that person is not really looking at you! Happy Birthday, man!
  • Happy Birthday, to a man who is old and gray! So old and so gray!
  • Someday, you will tell me how you survived the dinosaurs! Happy Birthday, man!
  • Happy Birthday, man! Remember nothing is promised! Like the amount of aches that you will get!

 

Hilarious Birthday Messages for your Sister

  • Do you know the similarity between you and a cow? Well, just the face. Happy birthday, dear sister. May you moo till the end of times.
  • I thought of doing some charity today, and you are the nearest mentally-ill person I could find. So, happy birthday, sweet sister! Now keep smiling like you are doing right now.
  • You are very gifted person; in a race of two people, you would always be the first runner up. So, a very happy birthday to you, sis. May your talents keep shining like this always.
  • I have always said you were ‘special’, because the term ‘retards’ is politically incorrect. But anyway, I love the way you are. Happy birthday, little sister.
  • You remember how mother used to say to keep our mouths shut unless we had something good to say? Well, it appears I can only say one thing, since the rest would be horse shit: Happy birthday, sis.
  • You never seem to age you bitch, so let me remind you how old you really are: you’re old enough to drink, young enough to get pregnant, and just the right age to make something of yourself. So by all means, hurry up before it’s too late! Oh, and, as they say, many happy returns.

 

Funny Happy Birthday Messages for your Brother

  • This is one of the few days when you can come out of the jungle and act like humans. To celebrate that, I wish you a very happy birthday.
  • I am happy for you today, even though you are adopted and were found in a bin. Wishing you a very happy and prosperous birthday, bro.
  • A wise man said “we hurt only those who we love”. This is probably why I beat you all the times. Happy birthday, brother. May your bones heal soon.
  • It really doesn’t matter that you are ugly, stupid and useless. For me, you will always be family. Happy  birthday, brother.
  • Dear bro, I know we don’t always get along, I mean, except when we’re both wasted, but I really want to wish you a very happy birthday. So, I brought beer. You’re welcome.
  • Hey brother, you’re very welcome. You have such a great sister in me, no wonder you turned out so awesome! Have the best birthday ever. We both deserve it.
  • Wishing a happy birthday to my favorite brother of all time- I know you’re my only brother, but still. You’re the best I could ask for all year round.
  • Stellar, rock star, rad, amazing, super awesome, gorgeous- wait, who are we talking about? Oh sorry, that was me. But you’re pretty cool too, bro. Have a very special birthday!
  • Wishing happy birthday to a bro who reminds me of the lil’ sister I never got. You came really close.

 

Ludicrous Birthday Messages for your Husband

  • My dear husband, science says that women live longer than men. Since you have lesser birthdays than me, I hope to make each one of them special. Happy birthday, darling.
  • Despite the numerous times you forgot to wish me on my birthday, I have a kind heart and pure soul. So, being gracious enough, I wish you a very happy birthday. May God bless you with a better memory and make you always find your car keys.
  • During our marriage, you promised that we will share everything with me. So I bought you an expensive makeup kit, which you can later share with me. Happy birthday, my love.
  • You have always been the best husband ever. Apart from the fact you are ungrateful, careless, lazy, pompous, dim-witted and too short. Apart from that, you are just perfect. Happy birthday, honey.
  • Hey old man, I knew when I met you that you’d be the best father, grandpa, and husband I could have asked for. So far, you’ve proven me wrong. Let’s just say you’re not the best, but you’re pretty close.
  • Babe, as you blow the candles out and make a wish today, I know your wish is for us both to be happy together. So, let’s go on that vacation I’ve always wanted.

 

Funny Birthday Quotes for your Wife

  • So, today is the day you get one more year older. Shouldn’t it be the right time to finally tell me your exact age? Anyway, happy birthday, my love. May you remain this beautiful forever.
  • You keep getting more beautiful with each year passing. For this, I have to give my gratitude to your beautician. Happy birthday, darling. May the cosmetics be with you.
  • Wishing a very happy birthday to the women who taught me to say “sorry” without any apparent reason. Stay the way you are (or maybe, be a little less like a Ninja Turtle, if possible).
  • Today is your great day. I do not want to ruin it by telling you that your food is overcooked and lacks taste, or that you create more mess than I did when I was 5 years old. So, I would simply like to tell you that you are an amazing wife. Happy birthday, my love.
  • Honey, today on your birthday don’t lift a finger. Don’t worry about the messy house or the dishes. It will all be there tomorrow.
  • Wishing a very happy birthday to my WIFE- sexy date for life. I love you with all my heart (and butt).
  • Babe, did you hear? Someone I absolutely love was born today! It’s YOU! Happy birthday, sweetheart. I loved you from the start and always will.
  • If I could count all the stars to tell you all the many ways you make my life happier and better, I would. But since you didn’t marry a scientist or astrologer, I’m just going to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY so you’re not further disappointed.

 

Entertaining Birthday Messages for your Mom

  • Hey, mother. Even though I have always criticized your food, the shit that they serve at the mess made me realize that your hand was pure gold. May you live forever and continue to make that delicious food for me.
  • Every time you threw a sandal/slipper at me, it only helped to keep me in line and make me a better human being. For that alone, I will be forever grateful to you.Happy  birthday, ma. May you live a long, long life.
  • I used to thing that mothers are the jailors for who have yet not had the chance to visit the jail. Now that I am an adult and have to wash my own clothes, I realize that mothers are simply the gifts for those who are too incapable to take care of themselves. Wishing you a very happy birthday, mom.
  • Remember the time when I used to wish that you get swapped by my best friend’s mom? Well, not saying that his mom is any less, but I have grown rather fond of you, so stay where you are. Happy birthday, mother. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
  • Dear mother, I know I was never perfect as a kid, and I’m still working on it, but thanks for not dropping me off at the shopping center and leaving me for grabs. I know it crossed your mind. But you’re just too good of a mom.
  • Dear mom, don’t be sad. You’re still so good looking that weird old guys mistake us for sisters. You still got it! Many happy returns.
  • To a mom who wiped my butt, fed me, clothed me and all the rest, you truly are the best. Of course, they tell me all that stuff was your job and came with the package.

Funny Happy Birthday Quotes for your Dad

  • Happy birthday, dad. I simply can’t believe that it has been only 30 years since you were 18! May you look this young forever.
  • Have you heard of the phrase “Wiser with age”? Because I really doubt that you have (just kidding, don’t slap me). Happy birthday, dear father. May you continue to be this awesome forever.
  • I wish you keep smiling and showing your teeth like this forever (or as long as you actually have teeth). Wishing you a very happy birthday, dad.
  • Just FYI, my gift to you would be the hell lot of candles I had to buy to match your age. Apart from that, wish you a very happy and prosperous birthday, daddy.
  • Happy happy birthday to the greatest dad, farter, I mean father, and best friend. I love you, dad.
  • Happy birthday, dad. I know I say this enough, but I really appreciate all the horse shit you put up with from me. It makes me feel so much better about my future kids.
  • Hi daddy, just wanted to say thank you for marrying my mother- she really is great. Have the bestest of birthdays!

 

Silly Birthday Messages for your Boyfriend

  • Hey, honey: I know you birthday is almost over, but this is what you get for forgetting my birthday. I guess you have learnt your lesson now. Happy birthday, my love.
  • Remember how you told me that you want a Rolex watch as your birthday present? Well, I realized that it was stupid, so you are getting nothing. Wish you a very happy birthday, baby.
  • It is wonderful how you look younger with every year passing. Soon, I might go to jail for dating a teenager. Happy birthday, sweetheart. May you stay young in your heart.
  • To my dearest, sexy boyfriend: I just want to say that I really do love you with all my ___insert body past of interest here___. Happy birthday, babe.
  • Hi handsome, I know surprise parties aren’t your thing, plus I can’t keep a secret. So let’s just enjoy the company of being together and celebrating another year of this happiness. I love you and happy birthday. You’re the best boyfriend ever.
  • Babe, I’ve never met anyone more committed and focused to snack munching and TV watching than you. Congrats on all your biggest accomplishments. Of course, your best one is me.

 

Funny Happy Birthday Messages for your Girlfriend

  • Remember the time I said birthdays are for kids? Well, Happy birthday, my love. Hope you continue to spread that glorious smile of yours to everyone around you, even if that seriously tires your jaw.
  • Happy birthday, baby. And I seriously believe that you should tell me your age, because every time I try to guess it, my calculations land you under 18 and me under arrest. Apart from that, enjoy your special day.
  • There is not nearly enough times when I have told you how beautiful , caring and amazing you are. Do not listen to the people who say I am compulsive liar, they are just jealous that I have you. Happy birthday, baby.
  • Hey girlfriend, I’m so excited that you chose to spend the day with me rather than your actual ‘girlfriends’. It’s makes me feel so special. I’m so glad I found you and that we are the same type of weird. The world will never break us apart.
  • Wishing a happy birthday to the healthiest, sexiest, loveliest bitch I know. I’m beyond grateful to have you in my life.
  • To my amazing girlfriend: don’t worry about age, another year older is just another year you look hotter to me. I love you lots, baby.

 


Q&A Birthday Jokes

Q: Do you by any chance know what constantly goes up, but never ever comes down?
A: Your ever-growing age!

Q: What does the average cat love to eat at her birthday party?
A: Mice cream.

Q: What do Jesus Christ and Abraham Lincoln both have in common?
A: They were both born on public holidays.

Q: What do people who have the most birthdays have in common?
A: Old age.

Q: Why did couples have problems with each other before the 2000s?
A: Because Facebook reminder didn’t exist at that time to remind them of their partners’ birthdays.

Q: What happened to all the guests at Kim Jong-un’s birthday party bash?
A: Kim nuked them all so he wouldn’t share his cake with anyone!

Q: What do chickens love to eat at their birthday parties?
A: Coop-cakes!

Q: Where can you find the best birthday present for your cat?
A: Inside a cat-alogue!

Q: What kills a person faster than cancer?
A: Too many birthdays!

Q: What type of cake was served at the birthday party of Penny from the Big Bang Theory?
A: Cheese cake.

Q: What type of cake do the people of North Korea serve at their birthday parties?
A: Cakes decorated with Kim Jong-un’s face.

Q: What gift do you always receive on your birthday?
A: A brand new age.

 

You Know You’re Old when… 

  • …the numerous candles on your birthday cake not only become more expensive than your cake itself, but also negatively impact the environment.
  • …kids feel safe to tell you their secrets because they know you will end up forgetting them.
  • …a teenager refers to you as a middle-aged man/woman.
  • …your mates start having children on purpose and not accidentally.
  • …people assume the first pet you ever owned was a dinosaur.
  • …your favorite songs are now elevator music.
  • …you see a smoking hot chick in bikini and the first thought that crosses your mind is, “I hope she’s wearing sun block”.
  • …all your favorite sportsmen and women have retired.
  • …it takes forever to scroll down to choose your year of birth on a website.
  • …the candles on your cake create a bonfire.
  • …your mates start running for president and other public offices.
  • …the once adorable Karate Kid is now an old man.
  • …you start feeling sleepy at the same time you used to go out at night to have fun.
  • …your fridge consists of more food than beer.
  • …teenagers start mistaking you for the legendary Keith Richards.
  • …that adorable kid you used to baby sit is no longer a kid.
  • …a Donna Summer song brings back a lot of memories.
  • …you can be slapped with the death penalty.
  • …prefer eating in than eating out.
  • …you fall down and die when someone tells you to act your age.
  • …you feel there’s nothing left in life to learn.
  • …in your childhood, Blackberry and Apple were nothing more than fruits.
  • …you start worrying about how you’ll pay your mortgage.
  • …acne problems are a thing of the past.
  • …birthdays remind you something to be forgotten.
  • …you lie about your age or are tempted to do so.
  • …your patronage of condoms begins to drastically decline.
  • …you start finding teenagers’ birthday parties annoying and repulsive.
  • …your loved ones keep telling you how young you look.
  • …hostage takers are not interested in taking you hostage.
  • …your friends pay firefighters to be on standby for your birthday bash because they are afraid your birthday candles might cause a disaster.
  • …you witnessed people getting burnt alive at the stake.
  • …you search everywhere for your reading glasses when it is on your head.
  • …if you have ever attended a Beatles concert.
  • …marketers start targeting you with anti-aging wrinkle creams.
  • …you can date someone half your age without breaking any man-made laws.
  • …your neighbors don’t even know it when you organize a party.
  • …your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them or have died.
  • …you finally know where your prostate is located.
  • …you once used telegraphs to send messages to your loved ones in faraway places.

 

Funny to Celebrate My Special Day | Short Jokes about your own Birthday

  • It is my birthday and I have no doubt in my mind that this is nature’s way of telling me to eat more cakes!
  • I guess this is the year I should start lying about my age. Happy birthday to me!
  • Wishing myself a super duper birthday! I hope my friends remember my birthday and not my age.
  • At this age, I don’t need to worry much about temptation because it is no longer interested in me.
  • Blowing out the candles on my birthday cake was indeed one heck of a good exercise for my lungs.
  • Today I understand why the word “birthday” ends with the letter Y!
  • They say the good die young. If that is true, then I must be a really bad a**. Happy birthday to me!
  • Today is my birthday and I’m another year closer to my death yet my family and friends are happy for me. What a terribly strange world we live in.
  • Few years ago, I fell down on the street and people laughed at me. However, today I fell and everyone was in a state of panic. I guess this means I’ve become an Old Timer. Happy birthday to me.
  • Today is my Big Day, and I’m proud to announce to the world that I don’t look a day over my actual age. Isn’t that awesome?!
  • On my birthday, I plead with all my friends who really love me to refrain from making any age-related jokes.
  • I am officially a year older today and I’m not bothered at all about that because I know my age is just the number of years that I have been a blessing to this world.
  • On my Big Day, I’m going to party in such a wild manner that many religions will waste no time condemning me straight to hell.
  • It is my birthday today, and I have every right to support wildlife by organizing a wild party.

Hilarious Birthday Quotes For Your Son

  • Dear son, although your birthday couldn’t rise to the prestigious status of national holiday, your mom and I will try to treat it as one. Maybe you should become president to make that happen.
  • Son, your taste, like your ken, has advanced in sophistication; so finding a gift for you was difficult. We hope you are not offended that we went with the basics — cakes!
  • I hope that the candles didn’t make you extremely hot for the new girls on the block. I don’t think they would mind, anyways! Happy birthday, my dear.
  • If you were a politician, your party color would be neither red nor blue but white because you are such a maverick! Happy birthday to you, my dearest son.
  • We should share, equally, all those lovely presents because today is also my day of being a mother/father. Happy birthday to you, son. I love you.

Absurd Birthday Messages For Your Daughter

  • Statisticians will consider your age insignificant, and just focus on counting your candles instead. But I know better than that! Happy birthday to my lovely daughter!
  • Your height is disproportional to your age, and makes me look like your younger sibling. But I love you, anyway. Keep soaring and growing, dear.
  • You are such a lovely, walking paradox; on the one hand, we are happy that you are growing, but on the other, we are reminded of how fast we are aging.
  • It seems like only yesterday when I ordered your first diaper change. Soon, the tables might turn, and you will order my last diaper change. Happy birthday, daughter!
  • Your mom/dad and I failed to name you appropriately. “Epitome of Beauty” is what should have been on your birth certificate.

Funny Birthday Greetings For Your Niece

  • Good to see that you are making progress towards the ultimate prize of great grand motherhood, many wrinkles, and, to be honest, lots of charm. Enjoy your day!
  • May Santa visit you this year, making your pockets heavier than your weight; not the other way round, like he did last year. Wishing you a joyous birthday with love.
  • Happy birthday, my dear niece. You may eat all the candies and biscuits you want but will have to pay a tax of 80% to me. I love and miss you so much, my dear.
  • At this nubile age, be careful of charming, hipster boys; they are predictable, ravenous puppies who will go to anyone who has the bone. Happy birthday, my love.
  • My dear niece, I pray that you will be manumitted from the ostensibly in vogue shackles of social media. Here’s to a free life!

Funny Birthday Messages For Your Nephew

  • I hope you are not going to keep shouting “mommy” like you did with a crying voice when you came out of the womb.  We love you so much, our precocious fellow. Have a blast!
  • I won a huge lottery on the day you were born, so please continue to bring me good luck each year with your charming smile. Happy birthday, my dear nephew.
  • Today, it will rain lots of ice cream, chocolate chip cookies, and peanut butter jelly sandwiches solely for your sweet tooth. Enjoy your day, darling.
  • Your parents are going to kill me today because you are about to be incredibly spoiled with amazing goodies! But it won’t hurt because I just can’t stop loving you.
  • I was usually the reluctant counselor when the young girlfriend had issues but now no more, because you can take care of things yourself. Happy birthday to my amazing, grown-up nephew!    

Absurd Birthday Greetings For Your Workmate

  • You make recalcitrant managers and superiors appear like wee boys, at least in our heads! Truly, office work is less cumbersome when you are around. Happy birthday, mate!
  • The buzzing sound of your short-tempered Benz, which stops every quarter of a mile, is always an indication that it’s closing time. Thanks for the service, mate.
  • Your hard talk and spontaneous outbursts are always welcome distractions from the throes of office labor. Just tone them down a bit next time. Wishing you a fun-filled birthday, mate.
  • If you ever find yourself at the point where you are forced to choose between a quarter-life crisis and a mid-life crisis, opt for the former because not all crises are created equal. Have a blissful birthday. Happy birthday, mate.
  • If I could dismiss everybody from work and hire only you, I would. Your childlike heart, and mega brains make you so indispensable. Happy birthday, and have a blast!    

Amusing Birthday Greetings For Your Grandma

  • Dear granny, I thought that your birthday won’t be special without me, but I realized that you have more beautiful, smart, and talented grand kids in your arsenal. May God continue to bless you.
  • Sweet grandma, I see that you are growing more youthful, athletic, and agile than most of us. We will love to have you on our baseball team this year. Wishing you a happy birthday!
  • Thank you for calling me out on my silly, puerile and dumb stuff. All the credit goes to you for grounding me in reality and making me a pragmatic person. Have a blast, grandma!
  • My dear granny, I want to be like you when I grow up, playing smart and invoking the “elderly clause” whenever I want to have things done my way. Wishing you a blissful birthday.     

Ludicrous Birthday Quotes For Your Grandpa

  • Dear grandpa, as you blow your candles, please wish to become a superhero so that I can play with you all day long and on vacations! Sending you lots of love and cheer.
  • Granddad, thank you for keeping mom and pa in check whenever they won’t let me have my way. You are the best partner in crime a kid could ask for. Sending you lots of love.
  • Grandpa, this year, the candles on your cake will be too many for you to blow alone. You can hire me for a nominal fee to do this routine work for you. Have a great birthday!

Hilarious Birthday Messages for all

  • Many happy returns! I believe you are officially able to be appraised on Antique Roadshow!
  • Happy Birthday to you. I hope you enjoy your day as much as I’ll enjoy eating free cake and ice cream.
  • Your birthday only comes once a year but the wrinkles it brings will last a lifetime.
  • If you were a dog…you’d be 7 times older than you are now! Think about it. Happy Birthday, Old Yeller!
  • That’s your birthday cake?! I thought we were having a bonfire in the middle of your dining room. Happy Birthday… should I call and cancel the fire department then?
  • Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Facebook told me it was your birthday and that I should write on your wall.
  • Happy Birthday from one of the most spectacular, sensational, wisest people you know. You are one-in-a-million.
  • My best wishes! I hope your husband treats you to a night out on the town–so you can enjoy having the house to yourself!
  • Happy Birthday to someone who knows everything there is about me and STILL enjoys being my friend. I hope we have many more years of wild and crazy adventures together.
  • Did you know Chuck Norris was born on your birthday? Just kidding. That would be pretty kick butt though wouldn’t it? Your birthday is still on a pretty good day.
  • Wishing you the best! I would say you don’t look another year older but if I tell one lie now it might make anything else I say later on unbelievable. You look pretty good for your age!
  • If you were a grape I would stomp on you and make you into a delicious vintage wine. Happy Birthday, Friend!
  • The best part of birthday is the birthday cake. Wishing you the best. Where’s the cake?
  • Happy Birthday to a friend who I wouldn’t trade for all the Nutella in the world.
  • I couldn’t fit Channing Tatum in the box but I hope this gift will do. Happy Birthday to the future Mrs. Channing Tatum.
  • So I was watching Jurassic Park and I remembered it was your birthday. Happy Birthday, you old dinosaur!
  • I was watching Grumpier Old Men and I remembered it was your birthday. I hope we get put in the same room at our future nursing home. We would make some kick butt BINGO partners! We would clean up!
  • I have a particular set of skills. Skills that I have learned over a lengthy friendship with you. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you give me a piece of cake, I will leave. If you don’t, I will find your cake and I will blow out your candles.
  • Happy Birthday, my friend! I’m looking forward to getting together with you tonight to go over all of your Facebook birthday wishes from people that don’t give a rats behind about you the rest of the year.
  • On Wednesdays we wear pink. Happy Birthday, my totally fetch friend!
  • I’ll tell you a secret. I do believe it’s somebody’s birthday and just in case that person is you, Happy Birthday.
  • Happy Birthday to someone who remembers how to do the ‘Macarena’.
  • Stop crying. This is supposed to be a joyous occasion where we fill up on divine birthday cake and drink good cheer. Celebrate in merriment the day of your birth into this lustrous world. Forget the wrinkles, sore joints, forgetfulness, and gray hair. Happiest of Happy Birthday to you, dear friend!
  • If someone asks if you’re a God, you say ‘YES!’ . If you don’t Mr. Stay Puft will wreck havoc on our town. That was life lesson #1, right? Happy Birthday to a friend who is fluent in movie quotes just like me.
  • Happy Birthday to someone good looking, super smart, charismatic, and charming. Wait…I meant FROM someone.
  • Best wishes. You’re not THAT old. You’re just getting up there. In the words of Elsa, “Let it go! Let it go!”
  • Your 21st Birthday party was SO successful you decided to celebrate it for more than 20 years in a row!
  • I was thinking about it and I think if someone was to make a movie about your life, Linda Blair would be perfect to play you.
  • You know that old sang the older you are the wiser you are? I used to think it was true but then I met you! Just kidding, friend. Happy Birthday to you.
  • I was at the antique store downtown and I ran across one of the toys from your childhood that you always talk about. Happy Birthday and Congratulations to someone who is old enough to have their childhood toys listed in the latest edition of the Kovel’s Antique Guide! Well done!
  • When you get to be your age you really should just throw caution to the wind and go “Why the hell not?!”. You are only young once! Go skydiving! Go skinny dipping in Tahiti! Go for a leisurely stroll up Mt. Everest.
  • Of all the people celebrating their birthday today, you are the least likely to be called “young” by a door-to-door salesman. Enjoy your day!
  • Happy Birthday to someone who is getting more valuable and better with age! Oh wait–that’s wine. Happy Birthday to someone who is just getting old!
  • Just to let you know that getting older doesn’t necessarily mean you have to grow up. You can always be a ‘Toys R’ Us’ kid who wears scrunchy socks, jelly shoes, and drives a Big Wheel.
  • Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! You act like a monkey and you smell like a mountain goat. I think that means you belong in a zoo!
  • Happy Birthday to someone I am proud to say will ALWAYS be older than me. I love having you as my friend, even if it is only to make myself feel better about my age.
  • I know you’re not thirty, flirty, and thriving but hey you’re still driving! You’re not in too bad of shape.

Wrap-up

Once you have come up with the perfect birthday greeting for your friend, it is time to figure out how to send it. Written birthday cards are becoming a thing of the past but they seem to be more appreciated because of the care and time it takes to write out the card. Email and text message birthday greetings are perfectly acceptable, however, less personal. They are fast and easy to type and send. If you remember a birthday and are in the middle of a busy day it might be good to quickly send out a quick email or text so that you have your bases covered if you forget to call or send a handwritten greeting later on.


You may also like:

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Share a birthday wish and spread the words of Happy Birthday Messages.

WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! jib jab!!!! best funny birthday wish ever!!!! :)

Cheers to an old man who still thinks he is young! Call it “experience” and enjoy your.

humorous birthday wishes for men
Written by JoJoshura
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