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Funny hbd wishes

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Funny hbd wishes
May 25, 2019 Anniversary Wishes for Wife 4 comments

Check out this awesome collection of 100+ funny birthday wishes for friends with hilarious images and 10 funny ideas to wish happy birthday.

It can be hard to find exactly the words to say to your best friend on their birthday. So instead of just saying happy birthday best friend, use my list of happy birthday wishes to help you brainstorm!

There’s plenty of birthday wishes for your best friend to chose from. So whether you are looking for something sentimental, funny, weird, casual, or something in between; I’ve got you covered.

Happy Birthday Best Friend List

1. My birthday wish for you: I hope you never stop enjoying the small things in life. Because that’s what makes life worth living. I hope you take time to enjoy the present while working for a better future. I hope your year is full of memories, happiness, and adventure.

2. You’re older than you’ve been. But look on the bright side, you’re younger now than you’ll ever be!

3. I hope your birthday is as sweet as the cake. And the year to follow is filled with as much joy as you bring your friends!

4. May your birthday be amazingly awesome and your hangover be mercifully minor.

5. The more you live, the younger you become. Maybe that’s why you look so good for your age!

6. Be who you are, because who you are is amazing. Happy birthday to my best friend!

7. Woohoo! Cake, booze, and partying! Oops… I mean… happy birthday!

8. There’s no way that your birthday can be as happy as you make me. But I hope it’s close!

9. Through thick and thin, you were always there for me. Just know that I’ll always be there for you when you need me.

10. There are friends and then there are best friends, happy birthday to the best friend I could have asked for!

11. The best gift is the gift of friendship. So, that is what I got you for your birthday! Don’t worry… I got you a real present too.

12. It’s your birthday! Which means it’s a great excuse to make some bad decisions, let’s party it up!

13. Best friends are the friends who keep your embarrassing secrets private. Thank you for always keeping my less than proud moments under wraps.

14. Hey it’s your birthday and I just wanted to let you know that you’ll never have to face a problem alone. I may not be able to solve every problem but I’ll always be here for you when you need me.

15. When I think back to all the things we’ve been through, I’m so thankful that I got to go through everything with you by my side. Happy birthday to my best friend who never let me go it alone.

16. Hey you! It’s your birthday! Cake! Candles! Drinks! Presents! More drinks! Can you tell I’m excited?

17. I love it when it’s your birthday, because it means we have a great excuse to go out and have some fun! Let’s go celebrate!

18. You’ll never have to walk the world alone. As long as my heart beats, you’ll have me.

19. As long as I have a couch, you’ll have a couch to crash on. No matter what happens. You’ll always have a place if you need it.

20. What is a friend? You. You is a friend. You is my best friend. Best friend is have birthday. Happy birthday.

21. Happy birthday to my best friend. I hope it is filled with awesomeness!

22. Perfect birthday? Good food, good drinks, great friends, and lots of birthday presents and wishes!

23. It’s your day! But leave it in the capable hands of your best friends. We’ll treat you right!

24. If your birthday is half as amazing as you are, it’s going to be epic. Happy birthday to the best friend a person could ask for!

25. I hope you have a very hoppy birthday. Full of beers and cheers!

26. Best friends are like farts. Some are quiet. Some are loud. They embarrass you in public. They make you feel good. And they make you laugh.

27. For your birthday I got you hugs, kisses, and birthday wishes! Plus, dinner is on me!

28. Sure, you’re a year older, but we’ve got a lot more years of shenanigans ahead of us. When we’re in the old folks home we’ll still be causing trouble!

29. How old are you?! Nah, you don’t look a day over amazing.

30. Birthdays are like your own personal Christmas! Merry birthday to my best friend!

31. You aren’t getting older. You’re gaining XP. And it isn’t a birthday party. It’s a level up party!

32. My best friend is sweeter than cake, more colorful than confetti, and hotter than a candle. And it’s her birthday. Happy birthday!

33. When I first met you, I had no idea how important you would be to me. Happy birthday to my best friend in the world.

34. Best friends are like presents. You are always happy to see them. Happy birthday to the best present that life has given me.

35. You’re not just my best friend. You’re my sister. You may not have been born my sister, but we are family and we’ll always be family.

36. It’s not the number of friends. It’s the quality of them. Thanks for being the best of the best. I hope you have a wonderful birthday!

37. Life’s too short to spend it with people you don’t love. That’s why I hang out with you so much. Happy birthday!

38. It’s your birthday, but let’s not focus on the number of years gone by. Let’s look forward to the years to come! I’m planning on having a lot of fun in the coming years with my best friend!

39. It’s your birthday. You can dance if you want to. You can leave your cares behind. And if you need a dance partner, count me in!

40. You are smart, caring, funny, and a joy to be around. You remind me of myself! Happy birthday!

41. Forget your age and live the life your inner child wants to live!

42. Like Chili Davis said: Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. Happy birthday to my best friend, I hope you never grow up!

43. On your birthday, I just wanted to let you know that you are an amazing friend. Every life you touch, you make better.

44. Hey! It’s your birthday. Which means it’s time to put on that crown. You are a queen today and we are your loyal subjects. What mischief would her majesty like to get into?

45. Most of my best memories have you in them. Thank you for being such a great friend and walking beside me on this journey called life.

46. Today is your birthday. It’s the day we celebrate how ridiculously awesome you are!

47. Soooo I forgot, which one of us is supposed to be the bad influence? Doesn’t matter. It’s your birthday. We can both be!

48. You’ve been my own personal cheer leader, my therapist, and my voice of reason. But most importantly, you are my best friend. Happy birthday. You are amazing!

49. I love having someone in my life that I don’t have to be an adult around. Thank you so much for bringing out the kid in me. I hope you have a joyful birthday!

50. I don’t know what I would do without a great friend like you. Happy birthday to my best friend!

51. A best friend is someone who makes you feel comfortable being who you really are. Thanks for putting up with my craziness all these years!

52. To my best friend, I wish you all the happiness in the world in the coming year. I hope your birthday is the best and the days after it are even better.

53. Hanging out with you is always a blast and even more so on your birthday! So, let’s go out and make your birthday special!

54. Since it’s your birthday, I just wanted to let you know, you are my best friend. The very best friend I’ve ever had. I’m so glad you came into my life.

55. When we hang out, it’s like the world is a little brighter. Thanks for always making my world much better. I hope your birthday is as wonderful as you are.

56. To my best friend, I wish you the best birthday ever!

57. Hey best friend. It’s your birthday. And you need to know that you rock. Thanks for being awesome.

58. Whenever you feel down or think just can’t do something, just imagine me giving you a gigantic high five with a ridiculous look on my face. That should help. In the meantime though, happy birthday!

59. Best friends must walk a fine line between stopping their friend from making big bad decisions and encouraging them to make small bad decisions that are a lot of fun. And no one does it better than my partner in crime.

60. Friends are like family that we get to choose. I’m glad I made such a good choice!

61. Happy birthday to my adventure buddy. I hope this coming year will be filled with many more fun adventures together!

62. Friendships are like trees. You must water them for them to grow. So, let’s order some drinks!

63. You’ll be my best friend forever! …… Because you already know too much.

64. Here’s to all the inside jokes, all the stupid things we’ve done together, all the memories we’ve shared. May the years to come be filled with many more.

65. I probably wouldn’t fight a tiger for you or a lion. But I would definitely shoo a cat that was giving you the stink eye! Happy birthday to the friend that I would do almost anything for.

66. Thank you for accepting me for who I am and always encouraging me to be the person I should be.

67. Thanks for being weird with me. You are the best!

68. If you ever kill someone, call me first. I’ll help you get rid of the body. That’s your birthday present my friend, one free body disposal. The second time it happens, I’ll have to charge.

69. There are a lot of people who know a lot of my stories. But you were there to help me create all those great stories!

70. Happy birthday to my best friend. We are getting older, but we still have fun. In fact, we’ll probably be up to same shenanigans when we are in an old folks home together!

71. Time can change a lot but it will never change how much I care for you, my best friend.

72. Happy birthday to my best friend and part time therapist. Thanks for always listening to my problems and trying to help!

73. Hey, you’re weird. But it’s okay because I’m weird too. I’m so glad we get to be weird together.

74. Your problems are my problems. And I celebrate your successes like they were my own. I’ve always got your back. No matter what.

75. Thank you for always helping me live life to the fullest. I couldn’t ask for a better friend than you!

76. I don’t care about having lots of friends. I only care about have great friends. Like you!

77. I’ve seen you at your best and I’ve seen you at your darkest. And I still think you are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.

78. I’ve had a lot of half-ass friends in my life. That’s why I’m so happy I found a whole-ass friend!

79. Happy birthday to the person who always says yes to my crazy ideas! My life wouldn’t be nearly as fun without my best friend in it!

80. I’ve got lots of friends who make me laugh, but only you make me laugh so hard I snort. I’m so lucky to have you as my best friend. I hope your birthday is as fun as you are!

81. Thank you for always being there to save me from my dumb mistakes. I almost feel bad how many times you bailed me out. But because you are so thoughtful, you make just as many dumb mistakes as I do so I can bail you out and don’t have to feel bad!

82. Hey I just wanted to you to know that whenever you have a crazy idea, my only question will be: “What time?”

83. You make the most boring activities fun, you make the most serious situations hilarious, you make my world a better place.

84. My best friend has the most amazing, wonderful, humble, and all around just fantastic best friend! Happy birthday from your best friend!

85. For your birthday, here is my promise to you. If you yell Marco and I’m in earshot, I will always yell Polo. Because that’s what best friends do.

86. As long as you are my friend, you’ll never have to do silly stuff alone. Have a wonderful birthday and if you do anything ridiculous I’ll be right next to you doing the same thing.

87. I know I’m not always a perfect friend. But I’ll always be a loyal friend. I hope your birthday is as amazing as you are.

88. Whenever we hang out I feel like I’m home. Thank you for being such an amazing friend all these years.

89. When we became friends, you didn’t know what you were getting into. But now that we are best friends you are stuck with me. Mwhahahaha… I mean happy birthday!

90. Sure, no one else finds our antics amusing. But we do and that’s what is important! Happy birthday to my partner in crime.

91. Life’s a road and I’m glad to have you next to me on the journey. Through thick and thin, let’s get to our destination together.

92. It’s your birthday. Let’s do something stupid together.

93. I’d follow you through hell and back. But after we get done with that, I get to plan the next road trip. Happy birthday to my best and craziest friend.

94. Having lots of friends is great, but life just wouldn’t be the same without a best friend to share everything with. Thank you for being the such an amazing friend.

95. If they made a movie about our friendship, I’m not sure if anyone would watch it. But it would be my new favorite movie. Happy birthday to my best friend, you’ll always be a movie star in my eyes!

96. No matter how long we are apart, when we get back to together it’s always just like old times.

97. I don’t know how you put up with me, but I’m so glad you do!

98. When things are bad, let me know I’ll try to make them better. When things are going great, let me know I’ll celebrate with you. Middle of the night or middle of the day, I’ll always be there for you.

99. It’s my best friends’ birthday! Let’s make some fun mistakes!

100. I love it how we finish each other’s…. So, for your birthday I just want to say….

101. If you decided to become a hermit and live out in the middle of nowhere, I’d still visit you. Probably not often, but I’d come, and I’d bring booze.

102. Friends are the people who do all the weird things that you thought no one else did. Thanks for being weird like me. Happy birthday!

103. It’s hard to shop for a birthday present for someone who has everything. I mean you already have the best gift of all, a great best friend!

104. It’s your birthday, let’s get you all liquored up so you’ll do something embarrassing I can tease you about it later! Isn’t that what best friends are for?

105. We are different in a lot of ways, but that’s what makes us such good friends. Puzzle pieces need to be different to fit together! Happy birthday to my favorite corner piece.

106. When it comes to friends, like Al Capone said, it’s better to have four quarters than a hundred pennies. Happy birthday to my favorite quarter!

107. If you could rate friends, I’d only give you 1 star. That way I could have you all to myself! Happy birthday from the only best friend you’re allowed to have.

108. Great friends are like jeans. When you find one that fits perfectly, keep them forever. Happy birthday to the greatest friend, I hope I don’t ever wear you out!

109. Friends come and go, but best friends are the ones who stick around. I look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with you!

110. To my best friend, I hope for all the fun and happiness you could ask for on your birthday and for the days to come!

111. I know this past year was a rough one. But I’m sure the coming year will be your best yet! Happy birthday, this is the year that everything will go right, I can feel it!

112. My best friend deserves the best birthday. But I don’t have the funds for the best birthday ever, but just know you deserve it!

113. Did you know in some countries it’s customary for the person having the birthday to pay for all the drinks? Good thing you don’t live there. Drinks are on me tonight!

114. Happy birthday to my amazing, cool, hilarious, best friend. There’s no one else I would rather spend the day with!

115. Hey, thanks for being you. You are one of a kind and my best friend. Happy birthday and keep being awesome.

116. Attention, this is a message from the best friend broadcasting service. It is your birthday. Hooray. Thank you for your attention. You may now continue being your awesome self.

117. Well, one year older. The years fly by. There are so many the things we’ve done and seen. Time seems to slip away, but some of the best times have been spent with you.

118. You’ve been such a wonderful friend. I couldn’t ask for a better friend than you! Happy birthday, I hope your birthday is as amazing as you are!

119. Best friends are there in good times and bad. Through the sun and the storms. Best friends like you make the bad times tolerable and the good time even better!

120. Friends are like trees, the older they get the more beautiful they are!

121. It’s so wonderful having such a great friend to grow older with. And let’s face it, the older we get the better we get!

122. It’s your birthday, now you can bask in the glow of all those birthday candles on your cake!

123. Happy birthday to the friend I can always count on to like all my photos and posts. Thanks for always making me look cooler than I am!

124. My dearest friend I hope all your wishes come true on your birthday.

125. When I’m with you I have more fun than when I’m with anyone else!

126. Whether we are out causing trouble or just relaxing on the couch in our pajamas, we always have fun. So I know on your birthday we are going to have a blast!

127. Hey bestie, you sometimes you need to be reminded of how great you are. Happy birthday to my awesome best friend!

128. We are so loud when we hang out we must annoy everyone around us, but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

129. Happy birthday to my brother from another mother!

130. Best friends are like chips and salsa, syrup and pancakes, cake and icing, they work so well together and just aren’t the same without each other! Now let’s enjoy some of that cake and icing!

131. Why are you my friend? It’s not one thing, it’s the thousands of little things that you do. It’s the hundreds of inside jokes. It’s the road trips. It’s the late-night talks. It’s you being you.

132. Friendship. F is for fun. R is for really fun. I is for ummm I don’t know. Forget it, let’s go grab some drinks and have fun for your birthday!

133. Happy birthday to my best friend. You are better than a life sized majestic chocolate statue of a unicorn. That’s how amazing you are.

134. Even when we do nothing together, I still have a wonderful time. I love that. Happy birthday to the best friend I’ve ever had.

135. Thank you so much for being there whenever I need you, no matter what. You are a true friend. And to my best of friends, I want to wish you the happiest of birthdays. And I believe this next year will be your best yet!

136. Happy birthday! If anyone messes with you on your special day, just let me know. I’ll punch them right in their stupid face. Just one of the many benefits of having an awesome best friend like me!

137. If you fall, I’ll be there to pick you up again. Right after I stop laughing. Happy birthday!

138. I hope your birthday is so amazing you never forget it or that it is so amazing you can’t remember it. Either way, happy birthday!

139. It’s your birthday! I would say let’s go out have fun and act like idiots. But that’s what we do every time we hang out! Here’s to the greatest best friend there ever was.

140. For your birthday, I just wanted to remind you, I’m always here if you need me. On the weekend or on a week day, 24/7. If you call at 4am, I’ll pick up. Here’s to you bestie, I hope your special day is amazing!

141. If you get arrested on your birthday, I won’t be able to bail you out. Because I’ll be right next to you.

142. You make me laugh harder than anyone else. You’ve made me laugh so hard I peed myself. You are my best friend and always will be. I hope your birthday is as wonderful as you are!

143. It’s your birthday. I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you … that you’ll never have to do anything stupid alone.

144. As your best friend, it is my job to embarrass you. But it’s your birthday, so I’ll give you a break… until 12am.

145. Happy birthday to my best friend in the world. And since I’m not tight with any aliens or astronauts, I guess you’re my best friend in the whole universe!

146. I don’t have to tell you how awesome you are or how great of a friend you are. But it’s your birthday, so I will. You are the best!

147. Happy birthday to the friend who makes my family question my sexuality.

148. If I had to be stuck on a deserted island with only person, it would be you. Sure, you might not be a survival expert, but at least you’d make desperately trying to avoid death fun!

149. Sometimes it’s a mystery why we choose certain people to be our friends. But with you it’s obvious. You are an amazing person. And I hope you have an amazing birthday!

150. You’ll get lots of happy birthday wishes today. But who wishes you the happiest of happy birthday wishes? Me. That’s who.

151. So, as you know, I’m not exactly rolling in money. So, your gift isn’t the best. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think you are the best. You are! I just can’t afford the birthday gift you deserve.

Looking for more happy birthday friend images?

Other birthday wishes:

Happy birthday dad wishes – Tell your dad how much he means to you on his birthday!

Happy birthday cousin – Need some birthday wishes for your cousin? We’ve definitely got you covered!

Happy birthday sister – We’ve got all the birthday wishes you could ever want for your sister, and plenty more!

Filed Under: birthday wishes

Having a hard time thinking of cute "happy birthday" wishes for Include a photo of a fun time you and your friend shared or talk about a.

105 Funny Birthday Wishes and Messages

funny hbd wishes

Birthdays are a special time. We all have them. Some of us look forward to them, some of us don’t. For some, it’s a reminder of how old we are getting, but if we look at the brighter side of the coin we can see it as a celebration: a time to hang out with family and friends, and just chill. Let’s look on the bright side and see the many ways that we can wish someone a Happy Birthday. Make it fun and exciting. Something unique. Something no one else would do. Here are some helpful tips for different messages. Share the funniest and most hilarious Happy Birthday wishes with your friends and family and put a big smile on their faces.

100+ Birthday Wishes to Write in a Funny Birthday Card

  • On your birthday, a few wise words: smile while you still have teeth. Happy Birthday!
  • You realize you are getting older when the candles on your cake are more expensive than the cake itself.
  • In the hallway? In the bathroom? On the kitchen table? In front of the chimney? At 40, it is truly remarkable to remember when you left your car keys. Happy Birthday!
  • What a great presence! What a remarkable intelligence! What charm, and what beautiful eyes! But, enough about me. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday, my friend. I’m feeling nostalgic, so let’s relive our “glory days” go out and inflict further damage to our livers, shall we? We’re still young aren’t we, my friend? Now, get your orthopedic shoes on and let’s dance!
  • It’s better to live a life that is short, but memorable than to live for a thousand years. Yet, the way your life has been progressing, you seem to be going for both! Happy birthday my friend!
  • They say that the older you get, the smarter you become. Yet, we still keep on doing the same stupid things we were doing as kids. So I guess we are the exception to that rule. Happy birthday, pal!
  • In this short lifespan we have, time runs out faster than a birthday cake on a candy lovers birthday. So you have to make sure to enjoy whatever little there is of it left! Happy birthday!
  • You know you are getting old when your lungs are not strong enough to blow all of your birthday candles! Happy birthday!
  • If walking up the stairs to your apartment tonight seems tiring, then you know that this birthday is the sign that you are getting old. Happy birthday!
  • If reading this message required you to go fetch your glasses, then I have sad news for you. You are old! Happy birthday!
  • Thank god you were good at math when you were young! Because you are going to need amazing addition skills to calculate your age now! Happy birthday!
  • You should probably enjoy this year’s birthday cake. It may actually be the last one you eat with your own teeth! Happy birthday!
  • Don’t consider the fact you are getting old a bad thing. I mean, how many people have you met that can beat you up with their own walking stick if you insult them? If anything, you’re just cooler than ever before! Happy birthday!
  • I promise not to tell anyone how old you are this year. Since we grew up together, doing that would give away my age, too.

 

  • Happy Birthday, Bestie! This year let’s commit to losing 20 pounds — AFTER the cake, of course!
  • Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you. You look like a bestie, and you act like one too!
  • Roses are red, ocean’s are blue, let’s do a best friend trip — Caribbean will do!
  • You look different. Did you lose some weight? Did you change your hairstyle? Did you get a haircut? There is something different about you. Oh, I know. You are one year older!
  • For your birthday, I have been thinking of something grandiose, superb, and impressing. But anyway, I do not cost anything to think, right?
  • I would wish you, “May all your dreams come true,” but I am afraid that, if they do come true, I will have nothing to wish you next year.
  • Like good wine, you get better with the years.
  • I have been looking everywhere for a decent gift, but I found nothing suitable for someone as special as you, so accept a good thought and my best wishes, accompanied by a sincere “Happy Birthday!”
  • Celebrate, or simply take the time for yourself. It is your day, so make the most of it in any way you like. Happy Birthday!
  • May today be the happiest day of your life, and may tomorrow be even happier than today!
  • The key to staying young is complete and total denial of the aging process. Besides, if YOU’RE getting older, I must be getting older too, and THAT ain’t happenin’ sista-friend! (Happy Birthday)
  • My life is experiencing a serious dearth in FUN these days. What say we paint the town for your birthday? Yup, that’s us — two friends partying the night away with the “A-listers” for your birthday! (Let’s at least do PJ’s and a movie).
  • Funny and Wise Birthday Quotes and Sayings
  • People may wish you many things. I only wish you two: never and always. To never be sad, and to always be happy.
  • Remember when one of us had a birthday and we’d party like rock stars? Me neither. Just in case, I’ve talked to your other friends, and they’ve agreed NOT to post your birthday party online. I’ve made no such promise.
  • Enjoy every moment, smile, be happy and remember one thing: today is the most special day of the year, so live it to the fullest!
  • Did you really think that I forgot about a day as special as your birthday? I wholeheartedly send this birthday message and I assure you of my everlasting friendship!
  • Do you know someone I should send a Happy Birthday message to, an anniversary or anything like that? If you do know of some parties, let me know, because I have not eaten cake lately and my blood sugar level is starting to drop!
  • I wish you that every year the number of the candles decreases, while the number of the parties, cakes and Happy Birthday wishes grows!
  • Some people make the world more beautiful just because they are part of it. Happy Birthday!
  • You are such a heart-warming, polite, honest, witty and unique person in this world. Receive my best wishes on your birthday and these little white lies.
  • This message does not contain fat, cholesterol or additives. It is entirely natural, but it contains much more sugar. However, it could never be nearly as sweet as the person who reads it. Smile and Happy Birthday!
  • I wanted to put candles on the cake, but it is hard to put that many on it and I ran out of space. Happy Birthday to my favorite person!
  • Special people are rare … I am so lucky I met you! Happy Birthday from the bottom of my heart!
  • 100+ Happy Birthday Wishes
  • May you have a healthy year, and because you do not have heat in your house, I wish you a warm Happy Birthday!
  • Have a fabulous day today, and remember: you cannot have sex just yet; you will need the energy to blow off your candles.
  • Many wishes for a happy birthday. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. But than again, we would need to narrow that down a bit.
  • Wishing you a wonderful special day. I bought you a special gift this year….a cane
  • I got you something we both would like. Too bad I ate on the way here.

 

Humorous Birthday Cards

I KNOW YOUR REAL AGE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY

The Funniest Birthday Wishes Ever

  • I looked all over for some classy messages, but sadly I turned up with nothing. I guess they know you too well.
  • Happy birthday from friends and family. What? You were expecting something else!
  • Your how old? Na, that can’t be right. You look too good!
  • I got you a male stripper, but he can’t come over because he just won’t leave my house.
  • You are how old? No, that doesn’t seem right…aren’t you older!
  • I picked out your coffin on the way here.
  • Isn’t it time you bought the depends now!
  • You look good for your age….how much did you pay Satan!
  • Happy Special birthday. I guess now we don’t look like twins anymore. I look better!
  • God you are old. Oh well, Happy Birthday
  • Don’t worry, my friend…you’re not old until you hear your Dad’s voice coming out of your mouth. Seriously, stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about. Now, eat your birthday cake — there are starving children in China!
  • Birthdays are a time of family and friends. Maybe you’ll get some next year.
  • I wanted to invite your friends this year, but than I realized they are all mine. Happy B-day anyway.
  • Wishing you a special day from your family. We will buy you something next year.
  • We wanted to buy you something this year, but our budget wouldn’t allow it. So this card will have to do.
  • Turn the card over and you will find your gift…..sucker!
  • Birthdays are a time of togetherness. Don’t worry you won’t find that here!
  • I hate to tell you this, but your wheelchair will be arrived tomorrow. Happy b-day from your friends and family.
  • I got you the ultimate gift…, unfortunately fell down the hole down with it.
  • Your relatives are all here to wish you a great celebration. I ordered them from Japan, but they are still here.
  • You by passed by birthday last year, so my present to you is the same in return.
  • I was going to get you a good-looking guy fro your birthday, but unfortunately your neighbor won’t leave his wife.
  • Best wishes on your day, better you than me.
  •  How about I just give you cash and we call it even?
  • I just re wrapped the gift you got me last year…I hope you don’t mind.
  • What do you get the one person who has everything? How about a personality?!
  • I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that you look good for your age. That’s what your relatives are for.
  • Wishes comes and go, but age sticks with you!
  • I know you want to turn back the clock. But with the amount of years on you I feel that is not a possibility.
  • Your age should be in the Book of Records. And you thought you wouldn’t amount to anything.
  • This is a time of sentiment and emotion. Screw that! Let’s party boy!
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Happy Birthday, Mom! 50+ Heartfelt and Hilarious Birthday Wishes

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Choosing a birthday card is just half the battle; now you have to think of something funny to write inside. We’ve scoured the internet, searched our own cards and trawled thousands of ideas to bring you a list of the 69 funniest things you can say inside your card. From the rude and offensive to the cheeky and light-hearted messages, simply choose your favourite and pass it off as your own. You’re welcome!

General Funny Birthday Wishes

1. I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!
2. Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
3. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
4. May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care less about.
5. On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high, and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there.
6. You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
7. Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
8. If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!
9. Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!
10. It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
11. Right, let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night 😉
12. Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
13. Congratulations on getting slightly older!
14. Well done – you have still been alive for several years!

Old Age Jokes

1. Happy birthday – I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me 
2. Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!
3. Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…
4. If you look back through all the years you’ve lived, the first thing you’ll notice is that you need a telescope.
5. Happy birthday – So far, this is the oldest you’ve ever been!
6. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year… if you make it!
7. If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!
8. Yes, we have reached that age… when every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age’. You’re still looking great though… for your age!
9. As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
10. Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake.
11. We all knew this day was coming. It’s best to just suck it up and accept it’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public.
12. Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!
13. I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now… you’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.
14. Just remember the more candles on the cake, the bigger the cake you’ll get! Now who’s laughing?
15. Another year older and you’re one step closer to getting those Velcro shoes!
16. Remember that age is just a number… just a really, REALLY high one in your case!
17. I regret to inform you that your childhood has EXPIRED.

Rude Birthday Messages

1. Happy birthday! Let’s celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else’s bed…
2. I hope you have a happy annual celebration of escaping from your mum’s uterus. I wish that you may never again have to return to your dark underwater prison.
3. Birthdays are like bogeys. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
4. I hope your birthday is better than walking through a fart with your mouth open.
5. Since it’s your birthday, I’ll let you leave the lights on.
6. May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows.
7. I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world, naked and screaming!
8. Some say that age is just a number. I say that’s bullsh**. I mean, you’re getting really old. Happy birthday anyway.
9. Happy birthday… congratulations on now being of the age where understand the horror of waking yourself up with your own fart!
10. You might be old, but you’re still a d***.
11. Older and wiser… but still a bit of a pr***.
12. I didn’t know where to start on your birthday present so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours I found some really good stuff. But then I remembered I was supposed to be finding you a birthday present and it was too late. Sorry!
13. Have a mucking farvellous birthday!
14. Some things are better with age. Too bad you aren’t one of them.

Sarcastic Birthday Messages

1. You’re the least famous person I know of who was born on your birthday.
2. I couldn’t think of a message that would make you laugh for your birthday card… you’re too boring…
3. I hope your birthday is better than the card I sent you…
4. Seriously, I don’t know how many more of your birthdays I can handle.
5. Another year older… and you still can’t grow a beard.
6. If I made fun of how many years old you are, it would be beyond funny.
7. Getting someone as awesome as me to send a birthday message to you, has undoubtedly been your biggest achievement this year.
8. Congratulations on being a year older and still maintaining such a low level of maturity; you are truly an inspiration.
9. Happy birthday! Here is a piece of card to show you how little I care…
10. What are you so happy about? It’s your birthday and you are going to have to spend a lot of money to keep us happy. At least have fun doing it!
11. Life was meant to be celebrated more often than just one day a year. Man, you’re missing opportunities the other 364 days!
12. I decided to keep having birthdays because it beats the alternative… Death.

Belated Birthday Wishes

1. I know you had lots of birthday wishes yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? Me, that’s who. Happy belated birthday!
2. I’m sorry my birthday wishes are belated—I honestly didn’t think you’d live this long. Happy birthday!
3. Sorry I wasn’t there with you to mourn the loss of your youth. Happy birthday!
4. It’s not your fault, buddy. No one can help the fact that you’re growing old, and that I totally forgot… Happy belated birthday!
5. You’re amazing, wise, super cool, fantastic, brilliant, intelligent – but don’t get too excited. I’m only saying all these things because I’m a couple of days late! Happy birthday!
6. It wasn’t my fault… Facebook forgot to remind me about your birthday!
7. It’s so tough to believe that you are getting older, that I decided to wish you happy birthday late this year.
8. Sorry I missed your birthday… hopefully you’ll have another one next year…

Funny Birthday Quotes

1. Two things that are inevitable for any living person are birthdays and taxes.
2. Birthdays are like cheese. They stink more the older they get.
3. Aging is the worst side effect of birthdays.
4. There’s really only one true birthday. The rest are simply anniversaries of the day of a person’s birth.
5. Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.
6. The old pessimist focuses on his growing number. The old optimist focuses on his growing blessings.
7. Getting older is just part of life… and the other parts are even worse.
8. The older you get, the more disoriented your hair gets. Once it leaves your head, it seems to get lost.

If you are looking for a funny birthday card, browse through our funny birthday cards range.

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69 Funny Birthday Card Messages, Wishes & Quotes

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Birthdays are very special days in the lives of humans. And on those days, consciously or subconsciously, we all crave for people to celebrate us. We think it makes sense; at least, that once in three hundred and sixty-five days, we owe ourselves that. Spouses are our better halves; we owe them even more on this aspect. If we don’t celebrate our spouses on their birthdays, who will?

There is this thing about Birthday wishes; the lovelier, the better. The wittier it is, the harder it is to forget. Wonderful birthday wishes gladden the hearts of celebrants and keeps your name long in their hearts. This will produce an even greater effect on your spouse if crafted appropriately.

Below are some nice birthday wishes for your Husband:

#1: Dear Hubby, my life became sweeter and better after I met you. You are a special kind of person and I appreciate you in my life. Happy birthday honey. May all your desires come true.

#2: You redefined the whole meaning of companionship when we met. I still marvel at how you effortlessly stay awesome in our marriage. Happy birthday, dear husband.

#3: When I count my blessings, I count you twice, honey. You brought light and fragrance into my life when I needed it most. Happy birthday love.

#4: My dear Prince Charming, I wish you the best of every day because you are the best human to walk the earth. Happy birthday, sweetheart.

#5: If I were to reincarnate as a woman multiple times, and I happen to find you in each lifetime, I would never marry another person. I love you. Happy Birthday.

#6: You are especially supportive, enthusiastic, empathetic, intelligent, creative, strong and resourceful. I cannot love you more. Happy birthday, my man.

#7: With you by my side, I feel very safe and ready to take on any challenge or obstacle. You are an amazing teammate, and I love you for that. Happy birthday, dear.

#8: Twenty-four hours is not enough to celebrate you; I celebrate you every day. But let me take today to remind you how strongly I love you. Happy Birthday, love.

Funny Happy Birthday Wishes for your Husband

#1: Dear husband, it is your birthday today. I wanted to wish you the very best, but you already have me. No need. Happy birthday.

#2: I took out the trash today. Don’t thank me, it’s a birthday gift. Happy birthday, darling.

#3: Without you, sweetheart, there would be no log on the couch, no annoying football matches on the TV and there would be more fruit juice in the fridge. Happy birthday, anyways.

#4: I know you are very glad you married me. Why wouldn’t you? At least, I am about to wish you a happy birthday. You don’t get that everywhere. Happy birthday, love.

#5: You are the love of my life but the biggest pain in my ass. Happy birthday, darling. I love you so much.

#6: Hey, hubby. Happy birthday to you from me—the one that endures your farts and still loves you.

#7: It is so hard believing today is your birthday because you never look any older. My ever young husband, happy birthday. I love you so much.

#8: Today is your birthday and we have to go shopping. Well, you don’t have to worry too much if we end up buying more things for me than for you, it is always like that. That is why I love you. Happy birthday, love.

Sweet Happy Birthday Messages For Your Husband

#1: You never cease to amaze me. Every day is like a new adventure with you by my side. Thank you for being here. I love you, and happy birthday.

#2: You define the word “Soulmate” to the letter E. It feels like we share a spiritual connection, your kindness and love reiterates it every day. Happy birthday to you, darling. I love you to the moon and back.

#3: For all you have been and done to me in our union, you deserve the very best in life. This is me, your loving wife, wishing you a happy birthday celebration. I love you.

#4: You mean the world to me, honey. Your day means a lot to me as well. I want to use this opportunity to tell you how awesome you have been in our marriage. Happy birthday, sweetheart.

#5: On a certain day, an angel got missing in heaven. And on that very day, I met you. My life has been angelic and heavenly ever since. I want to wish you a happy birthday today. I love you so much.

#6: To think I wake up to your face every day is an elating feeling alone. I feel so lucky to have you and I am ready to keep up on this journey till eternity. Happy birthday, sweetheart. I love you.

#7: Getting married to you, an amazing human being, has affected every facet of my life. I feel more fulfilled and energetic every day with you by my side. Happy birthday my love.

Happy Birthday poems for your Husband

#1: If I have to go at this again,
It will definitely be you,
My life has had so much gain,
From the very moment I coupled with you.
Happy birthday.

#2: The Stars twinkle,
The bells jingle,
The grounds rumble,
It’s your birthday, honey,
I am happy to be part of your journey.
I’ll shop for you with my money.

#3: You aced the test,
You are the best,
I can fully attest,
Happy birthday, hubby,
Staying with you is a hobby,
Today, I’ll kiss you at the lobby.

#4: This is your day.
From the love of your life,
Happy Birthday,
To the love of my life.

#5: I love the way you carry me,
But your farts worry me,
This is your special day,
I am wishing you a happy birthday.

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