You can be the one with these funny anniversary wishes! Funny Anniversary Wishes to my Husband The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Funny wedding anniversary quotes can be a delightfully humorous way to acknowledge and celebrate your anniversary.
After all, marriage is hard, funny, and sometimes unthinkable (i.e. you probably know way too much about his bodily functions)
Use these funny and relatable quotes and anniversary wishes as text messages, Facebook status or any way you’d like – to have a good laugh together on this special day.
Below you’ll find clever and funny quotes, words, and wishes you can text, message or post on social media to celebrate your wedding anniversary and your marriage.
👉 Let’s start off with some general observations about marital “bliss”:
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
– Woody Allen
A marriage anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.
For Marriage to Be a Success, Every Woman and Every Man Should Have Her and His Own Bathroom. The End.
– Catherine Zeta-Jones
If two people love each other, nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat.
When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
– Katharine Hepburn
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead… get married. If you first don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.
Marriage is just texting each other – “do we need anything from the grocery store?” – until one of you dies.
Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner
Marriage is basically just whispering, “Are you awake? I need to show you this cat video.
Marriage Has No Guarantees. If That’s What You’re Looking for, Go Live with A Car Battery.
– Erma Bombeck
An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
– Agatha Christie
Husbands are the best people to share a secret with because they never listen anyway.
Behind every great man – there’s a woman rolling her eyes.
– Jim Carrey
Unless you want to forget your marriage, it’s a good idea to remember your anniversary.
– Melanie White
Drug stores understand life. That’s why the Anniversary cards and Sympathy cards are right next to each other.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
– Groucho Marx
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
– Phyllis Diller
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong – admit it.
Whenever you’re right – shut up.
Marriage: when dating goes too far.
Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.
– Jean Kerr
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.
I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.
– Elizabeth Evans
The four most important words in any marriage: I’ll do the dishes.
Marriage is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.
Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlists.
– James Garner
Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener
If We Take Matrimony at Its Lowest, We Regard It as A Sort of Friendship Recognized by The Police.
– Robert Louis Stevenson
👉 Want to send him your love? see my list of 100+ love text messages – for him!
Here are some super funny anniversary wishes you can text your husband or post on your Facebook status:
1. “Happy Anniversary to the best first husband I’ll ever have.”
2. “A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made, I’m glad I chose my cellmate wisely.”
3. “You’re my favorite pain in the ass”
4. “And here I thought you were just a one-night stand. Happy anniversary!”- Pauline Thomason
5. “I shave my legs for you. It must be love.”
👉 See my list of 18 cute (sometimes naughty) ways to flirt with your husband 😊
6. “Well, we made it another year without one of us either ending up dead or in jail.”
7. “Happy anniversary! Just imagine if our marriage was functional as you make it appear on Facebook.”
8. “I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.”
9. “On our anniversary, I want you to know how much I’ve enjoyed annoying you all this time and how excited I am to keep doing it in the future.”
10. “I’m so privileged that you chose me to be that special woman in your life who will forever have the honor of picking up your socks and washing your underwear.”
11. “I vow to still grab your butt when you’re old and wrinkly.”
12. “I still love you. Even though you fart in your sleep.”
13. “Happy Anniversary! Now if I can just remember your birthday this year.”
14. “My dear husband, I want you. To do more around the house.”
15. “I hope you keep grabbing my butt every time you look for the remote.”
16. “I fall in love with you each and every day. Except for yesterday. Yesterday you were really annoying.”
17. “All I want for next year is you. Just kidding, give me diamonds.”
18. “I love waking up next to you in the morning. Just don’t breathe on me.”
19. You have me, so I don’t know what else you could wish for. But knock yourself out.”
20. “Never laugh at your wife’s choices you are one of them.”
21. “One year down, freaking forever to go. Happy anniversary.”
22. “Happy anniversary! We’ve been through a lot and most of it was your fault.”
23. “Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you, so we’re even.
24. “I love you. Thanks for killing all the spiders this year.”
25. “Thanks for being my unpaid therapist.”
26. “Being married to you is like having a best friend who never listens to what you say.”
👉 See my list of 14 quotes about being ignored by someone you love.
27. “I know you appreciate the fact that before we were married you didn’t know there was a wrong way to put the milk back to the fridge.”
28. “Happy anniversary my love. Eat all the leftovers again and I will end you.”
29. “I love you so much I’d take a bullet for you. Not on the head…but maybe like…the leg”
30. “I love you more than carbs but less than cheese!”
31. “Sorry, no refunds. Happy anniversary!”
32. Happy anniversary day from the best thing that ever happened to you.”
33. “I Love You So Much I’d Fight a Bear for You. Well Not a Grizzly Bear Because They Have Claws, And Not a Panda Bear Because They Know Kung Fu… But A Care Bear, I’d Definitely Fight a Care Bear for You.”
And now, a few funny marriage quotes for those of us married for 10 years or more:
1. “Let’s do the one thing I really like to do in the bedroom. Vacuuming.”
2. “I really love you, etc. etc. etc. Can we eat now?”
3. “Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you.”
4. “You’re still here? I like it.”
5. “After all this time, my love for you is still stronger than my desire to be single.”
6. “Holy shit. We’re still married!”
7. “There’s no one else I would rather snoring as hell beside me.”
8. “Let’s keep making memory after memory together; even though you’re losing yours.”
9. “Happy anniversary! I want to spend the rest of my money with you.”
10. “Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.
11. “Happy anniversary to my husband, who still looks at me the way he looks at other women.”
12. “Congratulations on choosing a spouse who makes you look sane.”
13. “Let’s never give up on trying to change each other.”
Do you have a favorite quote you’d like to share? go on, don’t keep it to yourself – use the comment section below!
Rooting for ya,
Filed Under: Marriage Quotes
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When you and your wife said “I do” on your wedding day, you were joining together in a union that is unlike any other. Being married is a responsibility that comes with great rewards as you stand by each other through thick and thin. You’re able to share your life with a wonderful person who supports you no matter what, and you’ll do the same for her. Every wedding anniversary is a special time to celebrate your love and extraordinary relationship. Whether it’s your first anniversary or your tenth, there’s always time to enjoy each other and reflect on the memories of your life together. We’ve collected 20 wedding anniversary quotes for your wife for you to draw inspiration from.
1. A beautiful rose for a beautiful woman who is my beautiful wife and has given me a beautiful life. Happy anniversary.
2. I searched all the dictionaries to find the meaning of life but I found nothing. But when we got married and I looked into your eyes, I found everything. Happy anniversary.
3. All the words in the world could not even begin to describe how deeply I am in love with you, from the first moment I saw you until the never-ending heartbeat you have given me. You are not only my love, but you are my soul.
Photo Credit: Anniversary Quotes
4. I feel so lucky to have a wonderful woman – a woman that made my life complete, a woman that makes my day by the time I wake up til I get home from work. I love you so much.
5. This day reminds me that God really loves me, for He gave me the most wonderful person and chose her to be my lifetime partner. I will always be grateful. Happy anniversary!
6. It has been an honor to be your husband for all these years. I am so glad we get to celebrate the start of a new year together.
7. Thank you for putting up with all my faults and celebrating all my good qualities. I love you.
8. I’ll love you even when we’re old and wrinkly. Happy anniversary!
Photo Credit: 365 Greetings
9. Congratulations! Cheers to another year of suffering and misery.
10. There are not enough moments within one second to express how much I am in love with you. You are my strength and I never want to lose you. Happy anniversary.
11. Being with you makes me feel like our anniversary is every single day. I have been blessed with you by my side, and I cherish you. I love you. Happy anniversary.
12. The best thing about having forever is you. We are timeless. Together, we will always have stability, friendship, laughter and joy. I love you.
Photo Credit: Joe Park Weddings
13. No one else would understand our relationship, and no one else in this world would understand me the way you do. Happy Anniversary!
14. I can’t imagine living a life without you. I’d probably be doing the dishes, laundry and cook by myself. Thanks!
15. You have made me a better person by loving me for who I am. Thank you for being there for me always. Happy anniversary darling!
Photo Credit: Anniversary Quotes
16. Nothing in this world could ever be as wonderful as the love you’ve given me. Your love makes my days so very bright, enriching my life all the way. Happy wedding anniversary!
17. Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite. Happy anniversary!
18. Nothing makes me happier than knowing that you love me for who I am and letting me be obnoxious and crazy.
19 I’ve fallen in love many times. Always with you.
Photo Credit: HubPages
20. Thinking of my life without you makes me think of a calm life. But that would be so boring. Happy anniversary!
On your wedding anniversary, you have the chance to celebrate your accomplishments and relationship with beautiful words and gifts. Remember that although these quotes and messages are a great place to start, you can always personalize them with funny anecdotes or inside jokes to really make your wife feel special. Your wedding anniversary takes place only once a year, giving you the perfect opportunity to celebrate your unique bond.
20 Wedding Anniversary Quotes For Your Wife
Draw inspiration on your wedding anniversary with these lovely messages for your wife. Whether you choose to be serious or funny, she'll love the sentiment.
BrideBox Wedding Albums
Whether you want to be romantic or funny, put your love into words with or married for a decade, an anniversary is something to celebrate.
This is a big day for you both and it’s a pleasure to solute you both on this great occasion. Wishing you a peaceful, beautiful life, with lots of magical moments!
My dearest friends,
You had your ups and downs, when you wanted to quit
You had your happy moments, and the moments of joy
You two have been able to help each other through everything
And that is something every person dreams of!
You though it will get worse when you both were down, but with each other’s help you both got up, didn’t leave each other, and today you are celebrating your …th anniversary, I’m proud of you!
I remember when you thought it is impossible to be in love, you both were so broken, but now, look at you … years together, I’m so proud of you, you deserve to be happy!
You truly deserve to be happy, and to make it this long, I’m so proud of you, and I hope you go a long way together, it’s been … years now. Make the next ones even more special than the ones which have passed, happy anniversary!
Wedding Anniversary Wishes, Messages, Quotes for Sister Make her smile and roll in laughter on her unique day by sending her funny anniversary desires. Happy wedding anniversary to Sister and Brother in Law.