My Wishes

Best funny happy birthday wishes

  1. Home
  2. Anniversary Wishes for Wife
  3. Best funny happy birthday wishes
Best funny happy birthday wishes
July 06, 2019 Anniversary Wishes for Wife 3 comments

Aug 16, 2015 CLICK HERE for 269+ MOST Funny Birthday Wishes EVER 2019! Wishes “ Forgetting your birthday was merely an April Fool's Joke. Unless.

100+ Happy Birthday Funny Wishes, Quotes, Jokes & Images

Looking for Happy Birthday funny wishes, quotes, jokes and images to put a smile on someone's face on their birthday? Whether it's for him or for her, a friend or a colleague, or maybe even a belated birthday wish, we've got you covered with our huge selection of funny birthday wishes.

Write them in birthday cards, send them by SMS or email, or message someone on Facebook or Twitter. No matter how you send one of these funny wishes you're sure to brighten their birthday and make them laugh!

Use these quick-links to jump to a particular section, or scroll down the page to see the entire collection of funny birthday quotes and wishes.

QuotesWishesFor HerFor HimBelatedBest FriendJokes

Last updated: February 19, 2019

For more ideas, take a look at funny birthday cards on Amazon.

Happy Birthday Funny Quotes

A selection of happy birthday funny quotes you can use to wish someone a very happy birthday and poke fun at their age on their birthday. Use them as part of a funny birthday card message, or even as a Facebook caption.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! (But it has also been scientifically proven that too many will kill you.)

Don't let ageing get you down... it's too hard to get back up again!

Middle age... when "happy hour" is a nap!

If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you're a genius!

What goes up but never comes down? Your age.

The tragedy of getting old: So many candles... so little cake.

Technically you're not 50. You're only $49.95, plus tax!

They say you lose your mind as you grow older... what they don't tell you is that you won't miss it much!

Age doesn't make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Chili Davis

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~ Jack Benny

Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art.
~ Stanislaw Lec

Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
~ Helen Hayes

I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.


Top of page

Happy Birthday Funny Wishes

Some funny happy birthday wishes and messages you can use in a funny birthday card message to friends or family on their birthday.

I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I'm returning the favor. Happy Birthday!

A wise man once said, "Forget about your past, you cannot change it". I'd like to add: "Forget about your present, I didn't get you one".

Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who's smart and funny and good looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities.

It's your birthday? Let's get up to some mischief!

Funny birthday wishes about getting older:

It's OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.

You know, they say that age is really all in the mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.

Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.

You're how old?! Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.

Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years... wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?

When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
~ Unknown.

You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct!

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

You're not old! ...oh, no wait, actually you are, sorry about that...

Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.

I wouldn't say you're old... you've just been young for longer than most of us.

Don't grow up... It's a trap!

Great news! ...you're still alive!

You've got more than half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome... if you could remember any of it.

You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.

I thought you might need some help with the candles. Happy Birthday!

Personalize these happy birthday funny wishes with the age of the person.

Don't think of it as turning [insert age]. We're here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your [insert age -10]th birthday.

Looking [insert age] is great - if you're sixty.

[For under 40s:] You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!

[insert age]?! I demand a recount!

Congratulations on the 10th anniversary of your [XX]th birthday! Here's to many more.

Happy birthday! And remember you're not [insert age] ...you're 18 with [XX] years' experience.

[Insert age] and still too young to plan your own surprise party!

You're 60? That's only 16 in Celsius. Happy birthday!

Deepest sympathies on your [insert age] birthday.


Top of page

Happy Birthday Funny Wishes for Her

A collection of funny happy birthday wishes for your mom, sister, aunt, or female friends.

The secret to staying young is make up... make up an age, then stick with it!

Happy birthday. It took you [insert age] years to look this good!

We'll be friends 'til we're old and senile... and then we'll be new friends!

Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.
~ Anna Magnani

You're the youngest [insert age] year old I know.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

You suck at ageing! Can you at least try to look older?

Those aren't gray hairs you see. They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.


Top of page

Happy Birthday Funny Wishes for Him

Happy birthday funny wishes for him, including great messages to wish your dad, brother, uncle, or best buddy a very happy birthday!

If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him.

Happy birthday! Don't forget to iron that birthday suit.

A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.

I don't have birthdays anymore, I level up!

Fill in the gaps: H___Y B__T____ ... nice try- HAIRY BUTTOCKS.

Happy Birthday Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you... but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.

Middle age is when your age begins to show around your middle.
~ Bob Hope

You know you're 40 when your back is hairier than your head.

What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I'll never part with it!

A man has reached middle age when he's warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
~ Henry Youngman


Top of page

Happy Birthday Funny Belated Wishes

Oh no! Did you forget their birthday? Apologize with one of these funny belated happy birthday messages. I'm sure it will get you back in their good books...

I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy Belated Birthday!

I'm so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn't think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!

I promise this card isn't late. It is intentionally arriving after your birth-day, because I think you deserve a whole birth-month. Happy Birth-month!

I know you think this card is a few days late. It's actually worse than that. This is your card from 2010 that I only just got around to sending. Happy Belated Birthday!

Happy Birthday! Don't think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here's wishing you a wonderful year ahead!


Top of page

Happy Birthday Funny Wishes for Best Friend

Funny birthday wishes to wish your best friend a very happy birthday.

Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It's your birthday, just drink whatever's in the glass!

On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship... and all that stuff that doesn't cost anything.

Just imagine all the things you'd want to hear on your birthday ...and assume I wrote them here!

For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.

At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober.... Disappoint them.

You're older; you're wiser; you're sophisticated. Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents.

At least you're not as old as you'll be this time next year.

If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on Facebook!

A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.

You're turning the perfect age. You're old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more. Happy birthday!

The best part of being over forty is that you did most your stupid stuff before the internet.

Don't worry, they are not gray hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise.

[For over 40s:] Happy birthday! I'm so pleased to hear you're over the hill instead of under it.

By the time you're your age, you've learned everything - you only have to remember it! Many happy returns on your birthday.

I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
~ Mark Twain

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
~ John Grier

Happy 21st again!

If things get better with age, then you're approaching magnificent!


Top of page

Happy Birthday Funny Jokes

A collection of happy birthday funny jokes you can send to your friends and family on their birthdays.

How does NASA organise a birthday party? They planet.

What kind of music is scary for birthday balloons? ...pop music!

I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until the doctor advised me to take the candles off first.

I always get this warm feeling on my birthday - people won't stop toasting me.

Why did the teddy bear refuse a slice of birthday cake? He was already stuffed.

You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, "I may as well pee while I'm here."

The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.

The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.

Did you hear about the [insert age] year old who was still cool? Yeah, me neither.

Do you know why candles are always put on top of birthday cakes?
Because it's far too difficult to put them on the bottom.

You know you're old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.

You know you're old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor's office.

You know you're old when you have a party and the neighbours don't even realize.

Did you know that [insert date] is a date when no famous men or women have ever been born? .....None, only babies!


Top of page

More Happy Birthday Funny Wishes

Still looking for just the right message? Check out these pages for more funny birthday wishes and quotes:

30th B'day40th B'day50th B'day60th B'dayBirthday WishesImages QuotesWifeHusbandFriendsMomDadAuntieSisterBrotherDaughterSonBelatedBible VerseBirthday Prayers



Mar 27, 2019 Birthdays are a great time to show your best friend how special she is, and since your bestie deserves the sweetest thoughts and best wishes.

A Long List of Short Birthday Wishes

best funny happy birthday wishes

If you have a super mom – and most moms are super – then you can never hope to thank her for everything she’s done for you. A lot of the things she did for you, you don’t even remember. Many of the things you do remember, you didn’t appreciate at the time.

But don’t feel too bad, because super moms super-appreciate the smallest gestures from their children. Taking the time to wish her a Happy Birthday is a good start. Coming up with a unique way to say “Happy Birthday, Mom” is even better.

The following list of birthday wishes for Mom range from sincere to silly, so you can choose one according to your tastes and Mom’s (which, go figure, are often the same). Send them in a text, share them on social media, or scrawl them in a nice birthday card. Just don’t forget Mom’s birthday – it’s the least you can do.

Heartfelt | Cute | Funny | From Daughter | From Son

Heartfelt

Here are some warm and sincere birthday messages for Mom.

  • I’m wishing you a doubly Happy Birthday. After all, you’re not just my mom, but my best friend.
  • When I was little, I used to look up at you and think I had the prettiest Mom in the whole world. Now you’re older, I’m bigger, and my opinion hasn’t changed one bit. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday to the woman who gave me life, then taught me how to live it.
  • I still need my Mom, I still appreciate my Mom, and I will always love my Mom. Today is the perfect time to let her know it. Happy Birthday, Mom.
  • Happy Birthday to the lady who put up a strong front, while always having my back.
  • Happy Birthday to a lady who picked up after me as a kid, but more importantly, never failed to pick me up when I was down. I love you, Mom.
  • Hope the best Mom ever has the best birthday ever.
  • I could never express everything you mean to me, or thank you for everything you’ve done for me. So I’m just going to say Happy Birthday and give you a big birthday hug the next time I see you.
  • I hope you get everything you want for your birthday, Mom. Most of all, I hope you take some time to treat yourself. You’ve earned it after years of tending to others.
  • Sending a special birthday wish to someone who did her best to make every one of my birthdays special.
  • I’m glad that you came into this world, and just plain lucky that you’re my Mom. Happy Birthday!
  • The years go by, but some things never change. You never stop being there for me, and I never stop thinking I have the best Mom in the world. Happy Birthday!
  • I can’t decide whether you’re a better Mom or Grandma. Let’s just say you’re awesome at everything you do. Hope you have a birthday that’s every bit as awesome as you.
  • When you’re a kid, you take everything for granted. I just assumed all those birthday parties, cakes, and presents happened by magic. Now I appreciate all the work that went into it, and the lady who pulled it off. I hope some of that birthday magic comes back to you today, Mom.
  • Happy Birthday to a lady who would never hesitate to share her last piece of birthday cake. I love you, Mom.
  • You’ve given me unyielding support, unconditional love, and life itself. I can’t give you anything for your birthday that compares to that. All I can say is that I love and appreciate you, on your birthday and every day.
  • Happy Birthday to a very special Mom. I think I love you more and more each year, as I look back with newfound appreciation on everything you did for me as a kid and as an adult.
  • Hope you have an amazing birthday, Mom. If anyone deserves to have a day all to herself, it’s you.

Still looking for a sweet message for Mom? You might find inspiration in this list of heartfelt Mother’s Day messages.

Cute

Here are some cute and utterly sweet birthday wishes for Mom.

  • Happy Birthday to the best looking Mom in town. Thanks for everything you’ve given me over the years, especially those awesome genes.
  • Happy Birthday to one fierce Mama Bear. Growing up would have been un-bear-able without you.
  • It’s your birthday! Kick up your feet and let Dad do all the work today.
  • What’s more special than being a mom? Being a Birthday Mom! I hope you have day full of relaxation, wine, sweets, and everything else that makes life grand.
  • Your kids are all grown up, so you can get as wild as you want on your birthday. Have a great time, but try not to embarrass me too much, okay?
  • Happy Birthday to the woman who taught me everything I know. I hope you’re planning to stick around for awhile, because I still have plenty to learn!
  • “World’s Best Mom” is an understatement. You’re the best Mom in the solar system, at minimum. May your birthday be truly out of this world.
  • As a Mom, you really take the cake. Blowing out those candles on the cake just takes a little more effort. Hope you have a Very Happy Birthday, Mom!
  • Happy Birthday to a lady who’s hard to buy for, but easy to love.
  • Have a fabulous birthday, Mom. And don’t even think about dying anytime soon. I won’t be done with you for quite some time.

Funny

Here are some humorous birthday wishes for Mom, from her wisenheimer offspring.

  • I hope you have a wonderful birthday, and I know that hearing from your favorite kid is a step in the right direction.
  • Sometimes on your birthday I wonder what my life would be like if you hadn’t been born. And then I think: You wouldn’t be alive then, stupid! So, thanks for being born, Mom. Hope you have an awesome day.
  • Happy Birthday to my dear Mom! May we continue to drive each other crazy for years to come.
  • I know all you’ve ever wanted for your birthday was to hear “I love you” from your kids, which is a good thing because I’m broke as usual. I love you, Mom – and Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday to the woman who never failed to act impressed by every crappy gift I ever made for her. Hope this birthday wish makes your day a little brighter, Mom.
  • Mom, I was going to bake you a cake for your birthday. But then I realized that, with my baking skills, not baking you cake would be a better present. You’re welcome – and Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday to a Mom who is perfect in every way. Well, except for the cooking. That’s not so great.
  • Hope your birthday is full of wining and dining. As opposed to the whining and dining you had to put up with when I was a kid.
  • Happy Birthday, Mom! Guess raising me didn’t send you to an early grave after all.
  • I remembered your birthday! Aren’t you proud? Now keep that in mind while I tell you about your gift…
  • Thanks for taking care of me when I was little, Mom. Because you and I both know that if it were all up to Dad, I wouldn’t have made it. Happy Birthday!
  • Hope you have a wonderful birthday, Mom. Even though I don’t get to see you much, I hear your voice in my head all the time, telling me what I should do. I’ve been meaning to see someone about that…
  • Happy Birthday to a lady to who has spooky knowledge of how I think. You probably knew I was going to say that, didn’t you?
  • Happy Birthday to the best Mom I’ve ever had.

If you’re still searching for the right words, you might score some ideas from this rundown of funny Mother’s Day puns.

From Daughter

Here are some birthday messages from daughter to mother.

  • Happy Birthday to my Number One Fan and my Number One Role Model.
  • Happy Birthday to a Mom who looks young enough to be my sister. Note that if you ever start looking younger than me, we’re going to have problems.
  • A girl never stops needing her Mom. I hope I can keep you for many, many years to come.
  • I hope you have a fantastic birthday. Also, I hope I look half as gorgeous as you do when I’m your age.
  • Thanks to you, I never worry about getting older. I just look at you and think, I got those genes! Happy Birthday to my foxy Mom!
  • You and I have spent many birthdays together. How many is nobody else’s business. Happy 30th Birthday, Mom, from your 22-year-old daughter.

From Son

Finally, here are some birthday wishes from son to mother.

  • Happy Birthday to a strong and beautiful Mom, from a proud and grateful son.
  • Happy Birthday to one bad bitch, from one lucky son of a bitch.
  • I’m the dutiful son who always remembers your birthday, but never knows how old you are. Hope you have a wonderful day, Mom.
  • Have a great birthday, Mom. Maybe for this one day, you can stop worrying about your son and just enjoy yourself. What do you think?
  • I’m not the most emotional guy… except, of course, when I think about my Mom. You’re the best, Mom, and I hope you have the best birthday ever.
WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: Funny happy birthday song
husband wishes birthday
Funny romantic birthday wishes
birthday wishes for youngest daughter
1st wedding anniversary wishes for brother
best wishes for newborn
Husband and wife birthday wishes
wishes for new business opening
Images for thanks for birthday wishes

105 Funny Birthday Wishes and Messages

best funny happy birthday wishes

Birthdays are special to all of us. If anyone forgets to wish you on your day, chances are high that you will never forget that they didn’t. It is important to wish loved ones, friends and family on their special day and put a smile on their face. Birthday wishes make people feel loved and remembered. A call, text or even a Facebook message goes a long way in saying “we care”. A simple call at midnight to wish “Happy Birthday” or a bouquet of flowers with a card and chocolates does the trick.

But then again that is all cliché. Isn’t it much more fun when you can poke others about turning older? People are taking to funny birthday wishes to make the other person smile from ear to ear. It is effective, simple and can go on to be one of the most memorable wishes. Whatever you do, here are some tips to keep in mind while sending out a funny birthday wish:


Damn, you’re so old, your first pet must have been a dinosaur!


These are some funny and witty messages that you can share on social media or send to someone out on a birthday ecard, SMS or via e-mail on their special day.

Short Funny Birthday Wishes

  • We thought we would get the right amount of candles to put on your cake this year, but quickly ran out of space. Happy Birthday!
  • One of the best pieces of advice in life is “you have to appreciate the little things”. That said, I know that spotting little things is easier said than done at your age! Happy Birthday!
  • Seeing as I usually forget everyone’s birthdays, you should consider it a miracle that I’m sending you this message. Happy Birthday!
  • It’s about time one of us turned 18! Drinks are on you, then! Happy Birthday!
  • Don’t let your age get you down, it won’t be long until you are allowed to start learning to drive. But until then, on your bike! Happy Birthday!
  • To my brother who still owes me several big ones. I didn’t get you a gift this year, so let’s call it even. Happy Birthday!
  • Ain’t no Cake Big Enough! | Funny Birthday Wishes for Older and Younger Brothers
  • I can’t believe how big you’re getting! Long gone are the days when I could steal cake from your plate and no one would ever be the wiser. Happy Birthday!
  • Don’t you think it’s about time we grew up a bit and stopped painting the town? I know exactly what you’ll say. Next year. Happy Birthday!
  • I’m not a fan of overly sweet messages as you know, birthdays are for fun! So let’s ditch the old folks later and get out and about like we used to! Happy Birthday!

Oh yeah, one more year to annoy everyone you know.

  • Oh yeah, one more year to annoy everyone you know. Happy Birthday, anyway!…
  • I hope you have low expectations for your meal and cake this year, I hear dad’s having a go at being the chef. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday, you’re closer to seeing another century pass.
  • Your LOL Message! | Funny Birthday Wishes for a Friend
  • One more year to pretend you’re old enough to care about people around you.
  • You’re not old. You’re just old enough to know better and not old enough to care. Happy Birthday!
  • The emergency department is on speed dial just in case you have an unexpected asthma attack blowing the candles.
  • Party like it’s 1959, when you could still dance and drink alcohol without ending up you to the hospital.
  • Remember when we stayed up late running from the law? No? Good. I don’t either. Happy Birthday oldie!

Another year to prove that older doesn’t really mean wiser.

  • Another year to prove that older doesn’t really mean wiser. Happy birthday!
  • Going old happens. Growing up is a choice. Happy Birthday.
  • Happy Birthday. You’re one step closer to diapers being mandatory!
  • I made a list about the words of wisdom I wanted to give you for your birthday. It’s still blank. Maybe next year.
  • May all your birthday wishes come true — except for the illegal ones!

Happy Birthday. Thank you for always being older than me.

  • It’s your birthday, but make sure you get all your present before you offend everyone.
  • Today is your birthday, the only day you’re allowed to say things that you’d regret on any other day.
  • Oh yeah! You’re getting closer to the age when the government sends you money every month. Happy Birthday!
  • Statistics show that people who live longer have more birthdays, costing us more money for presents!
  • If you counted your birthday in dog years, you’d now be a teenager! Happy Birthday.
  • Another year to kick your bucket list to the curb.

More Birthdays bring a longer life. No science in that. Happy Birthday!

  • Happy birthday! Here’s to being immature for a lifetime.
  • As your younger sister, it’s only right for me to remind you on your birthday that you’re still older than me. Ha!
  • A Great and Hilarious Tribute to your Sis! | Funny Birthday Wishes for your Sister
  • When I reach your age I’ll still younger than you, you dinosaur! Happy bday!
  • Today is the start of the rest of your life. What? You’re how old. Revise: Today is the start of the oldest part of your life.

If you counted your birthday in dog years, you’d now be a teenager! Happy Birthday.

  • Don’t you wish you were a kid again? Of course not, cause you’re still doing the same things you did back then.
  • Here’s hoping that you enjoy your birthday as much as you enjoy torturing everyone all year.
  • I tried to find something that represented the year you were born. Unfortunately, the thrift shops were closed. Happy Birthday.
  • Congratulations bud! You are now officially 20 years away from turning 50.

You’re still young! Happy Bday.

  • I’m just coming over for the treat. By the way, many happy returns.
  • Here is a hug! Happy birthday!!!! PS: I’m broke!
  • You just lost one more year of your life. Happy birthday, man!
  • It is said that those who have the most birthdays, live the longest. Birthdays are great. Happy birthday, dude.

Happy birthday, Oldie.

  • Happy birthday, Dinosaur.
  • You turned 50? Well that botox is certainly working.
  • You asked for it. Here is nothing. Happy birthday.
  • I hope you see the day when you have no teeth.
  • Will there be cake tomorrow or no?
  • Happy birthday, my 30-year-old Grandma.

This year, do it your way.

  • Want to look young today? Play chess with Grandpa.
  • Want to look young today? Go to an old age home.
  • You just tuned 40? Well, your mom just told me you are 43.
  • Your grandmother wants her walking stick back. Happy Birthday!
  • I can never forget your birthday. It always comes after the day you remind me of it. Happy birthday.
  • Happy 500th birthday, Vampire. May you stay forever young!
  • Do I have to remind you at your age that TODAY is your birthday? Happy birthday to you.

Your age today… is the new black.

  • You’re great and even greater on your birthday. YES, I’ve been drinking!
  • The funny thing about you is that you age, but your maturity levels always stay the same!
  • This time we made sure that your candles cost less than the cake. We just got the two numbers. Have a happy 85th birthday!
  • The secret to a great birthday is not remembering what happened that day. Just don’t wake up in jail.
  • Now it’s time to fall in love, get married and make me a grandparent. And hopefully do all those things in this order! Until then Happy Birthday!
  • Your wife say you’re definitely getting better with age. Does that mean you started to take the trash out? Happy Bday.

On the occasion of this birthday, looking for the meaning of life in the back of my head.

  • This birthday means it’ time to start treating your kids like gold. They’ll be choosing your nursing home soon.
  • It’s your birthday. The good news is that you’re only as old as you act and right now you’re in kindergarten.
  • I will never send you one of those greeting cards making fun about your age. I know how sensitive old folks are about their age.
  • Finally you’re 21 and legally able to do everything you’ve been doing since you were 14 years old.

  • What comes with being 18 years old? Bills, bills and more bills… and waiting three more years to do what you really want.
  • I can’t believe you’re 50. You don’t look a day over 49 and a half.
  • You know you’re getting old when your kids are lecturing you. Fight the power! Happy Birthday!

Birthdays are nuts!

  • I bet if you knew at 18 years old what you know now, you’d have still done the same stupid things that you did. Here’s to staying young. Happy Birthday.
  • I thought about sending you a birthday card mocking your age, but I decided against it. Remember that when you are writing your will.
  • You’re the best young person I know. You make me thankful to be old.
  • Don’t worry about getting old. You’re still above ground.
  • The secret to staying young is lying about your age. Happy Birthday!

Blow this candle and hope for the best.

  • Let’s be honest! You don’t really care what I write on this card. You probably won’t even read it. All you care about is the gift inside! And that’s why I love you, happy birthday!
  • Consider the positives. You have another birthday and you still have all your teeth.
  • I just wanted to remind you that you’re a year older than you were last year.
  • Today is the day when everyone reminds you you’re a year older and we all pretend to be happy about it.
  • Happy Birthday! You don’t look a day over… whatever age you were at your last birthday!
  • You had me at “there will be cake and ice cream”. Happy Birthday to a truly special person who admires candy!

Happy Baaaaaaaaarthday!

Longer Funny Birthday Wishes

  • We all knew this day was coming, it’s not bad luck, its nature. It’s best to just suck it up and accept the truth. It’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public. Happy Birthday!
  • Mum, it’s that time of year again! You do make it hard for us, don’t you?! You never chose a favorite cake for us to get, or special thing for us to do. You can never give us a list of things you want or favorite meal for us to prepare! You are the hardest woman on earth to please! For these reasons we were forced to make it up, so don’t blame us if the day is not up to scratch! Happy Birthday to the world’s biggest fence-sitting mum!
  • Not quite an adult, but no longer a child. This is one of the toughest ages of your life. You have most of life’s firsts to look forward to, and a whole mess of early mistakes to leave behind. Let me give you one single piece of advice, that I wish someone had told me when I was your age: Stay away from bad boys.

Dear friend, have you ever wondered why I’ve kept you around for so long? You know too many of my secrets!

  • You made it! You are now officially old! Maybe no one else has the guts to let you know, but don’t worry. In my opinion you’ll make a sexy grey fox for sure!
  • Another year, another birthday to organize, another headache. You better get used to headaches; they become more and more common when pushing middle age!
  • You may be just a one year old baby! So you can’t read this message yet! But since we have Twitter, Facebook and the Cloud, doing this kind of thing now makes sense!
  • Last year it was a nice dinner at a fantastic hotel, the year before we went to Vegas, and now this year you’re just staying in? I guess the rumors are true, old age does ruin people. Happy Birthday! Have a good one!

Happy Birthday. Enjoy this day.

  • I never celebrate my birthday with a huge party, and you always ask me why. While tomorrow you will be surrounded by mess and a pile of huge hospitality bills, I will be enjoying a nice quiet lie in. That’s why.
  • If you are hung over, struggle to think clearly and suffer a terrible headache in the morning, don’t worry. It only means you’ve had one of the best nights of your life!
  • If you were a boy I would be telling you to have a great time, not to be shy, to be brave, talk to everyone and not to get into too much trouble! But since you’re a girl I’m obliged to remind you that talking to strangers is a bad idea. Stay away from all naughty looking boys and don’t get into any trouble at all! Enjoy!

Birthday and liking it.

  • You should see your age as something to boast about, not worry over. The next time someone makes an age joke at you, remind them that you’ve been around longer than they’ve been able to walk, and if they make it to half your age, they should consider themselves lucky!
  • To the world’s greatest dad, you make me laugh, you keep me fed, you brush my hair and buy me clothes. So I guess it’s only fair that I return the favor and spoil you this one day of the year! Don’t expect big things though, please remember I’m only small. Happy Birthday.

If we’re late, keep us some cake.

  • You probably haven’t been told this before, but when you were first born the doctors thought there was something wrong with you! With those eyes, strange ears and funny nose, it’s genuinely quite amazing they ever let you leave the hospital.
  • To my dearest, most favorite and most precious little sister. Our family was so very blessed the day you were born. It was such a joy to grow up with you and share so many great moments together. Remember these kind words when you’re cutting and dishing out the cake portions later!
  • The best thing about your birthday is that you’ve now reached the age to say: “Those kids don’t know anything. When I was young…” and then go on blathering all day, annoying everyone around you.
  • I just wanted you to know that they say 50 is the new 30, skinny jeans are out and the saggy, relaxed look is in! Also, neatly pressed polo shirts are out and well worn and wrinkled is in! Happy Birthday you trendsetter you!!

May your day be more beautiful than a Unicorn farting rainbows!

  • Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. You smell like my husband and you sorta look like him too.
  • You remind me of a jar of pickles. You’re pretty well preserved for your age. Happy Birthday, my dear old friend!
  • Happy Birthday—-& just to let you know the tablecloth is flame resistant, I have the fire department on stand-by and there is a fire extinguisher under the table.

And then he tells me I’m just 27.

  • I have sources that have informed me that it’s your birthday and that you are a die-hard Obama fan. Enjoy this premium roast coffee that is imported and served at the White House! Kenya Arabica Bean Anniversary of Barack Obama’s Kenyan Birth blend.
  • You have more preservatives in you than a jar of mayonnaise! There isn’t an expiration date on your bottom, is there? Happy Birthday, my fantastically well preserved friend!
  • My momma always said “Life was like a box of chocolates. You gotta keep sticking your finger in them until you find the one that you want to get.” Happy Birthday.

If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!

  • “You want answers?! You can’t handle the truth!” …but I will tell you anyways. It’s your god*amn birthday!
  • I hope your birthday leaves you less hot & bothered than when you read 50 Shades of Grey. Happy Birthday.
  • Don’t think of them as wrinkles. Think of them as creases that just need some starch and a bit of ironing. Cheers to another year & another crease.
  • Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…..

Birthdays are a freud. Nobody is getting any junger.

  • Congratulations! You are another year closer to being able to get that senior discount at Target and wear the underwear that you can pee in!!
  • Brother, I figured today would be as good a day as any to tell you that you were adopted!! Just kidding. Happy Birthday—or is it??
  • Lucille Ball said it best when she said, “The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” May you stay forever 28—LIAR!

Lucille Ball said it best when she said: The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age! May You stay forever 28…Liar!

  • I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys “R” Us kid. If you are now singing the end of this magical verse, you are most certainly an 80s kid. Happy Birthday to my NKOTB loving, neon scrunchy wearing, slap bracelet collecting friend.
  • If you’re having vanilla cake I would like some ice cream… but on the side. If it’s chocolate cake, no ice cream. If you’re having vanilla and chocolate marble cake, I would like the ice cream served on top of the cake. If there’s no cake, than just a scoop of chocolate ice cream. Happy Birthday to a friend that always goes above and beyond!!
  • I hope you enjoy your birthday as much as Kim Kardashian enjoys taking selfies!
  • I would like to wish you a politically correct birthday so I won’t encourage overindulgence of alcohol, getting less than the recommended 9 hours of sleep, or listening to excessively loud rock music…..but happy birthday, even if all the fun has been sucked out of it!

And I’m saving all my love for your birthday cake tonight.

  • Chuck Norris wanted to apologize for not being able to make it to your birthday party. He was busy geocaching in Antarctica. Happy Birthday.
  • Cougar was so last year. This year you are a cheetah, fierce & fabulous!! Happy Birthday!!!
  • If  ‘only the good die young’,…..I’m afraid you’re going to be celebrating a few more birthdays.
  • One must not simply wish someone a happy birthday, one must shout it from the rooftops, start a conga line in the middle of town, resurrect Julia Child to bake a triple layer ice cream cake!
  • Do you want to eat some ice cream? Come on, how about some chocolate cake? I never see you anymore. Come out the door. Come on let’s go and make a wish! Don’t tell me to ‘let it go’ because your birthday comes only once a year. We used to be best buddies but now we’re not. Do I really smell that bad? I want to wish you happy birthday, to your face. Not from behind a door.

I love parties. Happy Birthday.

  • I’m glad I don’t need Facebook to tell me it’s your birthday. Happy Birthday!
  • To show how not old we are I am going to wish you happy birthday in under 140 characters. #happybirthday #youngandhot #stillgettingcarded
  • Happy Birthday to someone who is aging better than Britney Spears AND Lindsay Lohan!!
  • Happy 16th Birthday, Sweetie! After digging out your old baby photo albums, I found the cutest picture of you wearing nothing but socks and a smile! I wished you happy birthday on your Facebook and Instagram. I couldn’t figure out how to upload the darn photo on Twitter. I hope you have a great day! I love you!

Just call me when the cake comes in.

  • May the odds be ever in your favor… and if they’re not I hope there is a Katniss to take your place because it isn’t going to be me!
  • Brace yourself. An explosion of Facebook notifications is coming. Happy Birthday from the Lannisters… we never forget.
  • “We got no food! We got no jobs! Our pets heads are falling off!!” I hope you are having a better day than Harry & Lloyd. Happy Birthday, friend!
  • You’re depressed about being another year older? Look on the bright side, you don’t live in North Korea where that evil dictator Kim Jong-un could kill you for it.
  • You know you’re old when your social calendar has bi-weekly ‘meet friends for coffee @ blood pressure clinic’ on it. Happy birthday, you old fart.
  • I promise when you get old and forgetful I won’t let you forget to wash your hands after you pee or feed the cat food to your cat and not yourself. Happy Birthday, Mother!

Watch this Funny Birthday Wishes video and share clicking on the top right arrow []


You may also like:

Funny Birthday Wishes for your Family and Friends

Tease them if you Love them | Funny Happy Birthday Quotes

A Funny Birthday Wishes Collection to Inspire the Perfect Birthday Greeting

Top 100 Original and Funny Happy Birthday Memes

Click here for our best birthday wishes.

> Avoid cracking any jokes that will hurt the other person’s feelings.

> Consider the person and his age while sending the joke.

> Be sure that the other person will take things in his/her stride.

> Make sure that you share that kind of leg pulling relationship with the person otherwise things can get awkward.

If you liked what you read, please share it. It really helps us a lot.

Put your best foot forward with this collection of funny happy birthday messages, quotes, jokes, memes, and greetings. The right words when you need them.

Funny Happy Birthday Messages for Someone Very Special with Images

best funny happy birthday wishes

We have prepared for you 105 birthday wishes so funny for your friends and family. You can choose to share from this awesome funniest list of happy birthday wishes to put a smile on everyone’s faces.
Check out the list and you will find hilarious birthday wishes for friend, brother, sister, cousin, mom, dad, you name it, so that special day will go in laughter and super fun.

I have prepared your birthday cake and then called the fire department to blow out the candles on your cake.

One more year added now, so it’s better to remain over the ground rather than remaining under that. Wishing you a happy birthday.

  

You are gradually getting to the top of the hill. It’s better than being buried under it.

So, it’s another birthday with you. Statistics prove that those who have earned more birthdays, have lived the longest life in the earth.

People often compare birthdays with boogers. Because, with the increase of its number, people find breathing harder.

No one will stop tonight from eating your favorite items. I wish you a happiest birthday ever.

So, you are still younger than the age you will be on the next birthday. Have a special celebration.

Another year has gone, but that doesn’t mean you’ve become wiser.

It’s your birthday. Have a buffet cake night and eat as much as you can.

The nature has kept this day special because you are permitted to eat as much cake as you can.

Perfect Birthday Gift Videos

  • Birthday Greetings from President Trump

    Get personalized birthday video greeting from the President. Great for sharing on Facebook.

  • Get Custom Birthday Trump Video
Have a great day and enjoy in your life!
  

Hey, can you blow out all these candles by yourself or should I call our local fire department to help you in this regard.

See how many candles on your cake. You’ll have to blow them out only by sniffing. Ha ha!

Hey, no matter how old have you become today, just make sure that you don’t forget that where you kept the car keys. Good luck!

I haven’t brought any cake for you. Because I know you love this bottle of champagne more. Happy birthday.

There are plenty of years that I can remember for those history classes in our schools. But, the bad news is I can’t remember your birth date as it wasn’t on our course. May be I’m late, but happy birthday.

The room is getting hotter, please blow the candles before your room gets on fire.

It’s cold out there, but I feel much warm for your candles. How hot your birthday is.

Too many birthday means, you are getting closer to death. It’s scientifically proven, not my own words.

  

Hey, though it’s older, but yet it’s not better yet. Have a wonderful birthday.

Too many candles on the cake means you are getting older too fast.

It’s always very nice to be young, but allows you get to older every year. Don’t worry, just enjoy.

Who could say that we are related? Just joking of course, I want to say happy birthday cousin and all the best on this special day.

Though science says that people starts losing their memory at the age of 41, but for you we can only hope. Ha ha!

Can you remember those young, healthy and colorful days of our young age? It’s always feels awesome when you can recall all those memories.

Your next all birthday compliments will include these words “for your age”. It’s sad, but there is no way you can skip it.

If your candles cost more than your cake, then definitely you are getting older.

Don’t blow the candles, the fire department is on their way to do this job.

  

It’s getting tougher to see the cake due to the candles over it. Can you remember those days when you had only a few candles on it. Happy birthday.

It feels great when your loved ones wish you the ways you wanted to be wished for this special day. Enjoy!!

Hope someday you’ll enjoy a delicious cake without any tooth.

Last week during the fire on that candle factory we all sang the song – “Happy birthday” to celebrate your birthday.

You must be feeling good, because you look fifty, though you are sixty today. Happy birthday.

Grow more older and become toothless soon.

Hope you’ll live as long as you wish to live. Have a wonderful day.

60 Genuine Funny Birthday Wishes With Awesome Images

What is the birthday without fun? Exactly. That is why here you will find ideas on how to write funny birthday wishes accompanied with hilarious bday images and few videos for laughing in motion.

I believe that man grows old like wine and women grows old like cheese. You know old wines are priceless.

On this special day my duty is to call the fire department when you’ll blow out those fifty candles. I’m ready.

As you are getting older, you are becoming wiser. You know no wise man ever wishes to be young again.

Some special words on your birthday: keep smiling as long as you’ve those teeth.

Another year gone, how fast the numbers of candles on the cake are rising.

Congratulations for your sweet smile. Though you don’t have all your teeth, but yet it’s sweet like always.

People often believe that good things don’t last long. So, I guess you are a bad ass!

You may look old, but your heart is evergreen. You are only twenty if we count the age of your heart. Live as long as you wish.

Happy birthday dear. Another birthday means one step closer to the end of life.

The best secret that is yet to be revealed is your true age.

Though it’s obvious to grow old, but it’s optional to grow up.

You must enjoy the cake, because you won’t get a second chance to enjoy that special item as you are under diet.

You always enjoy your birthday in some amazing ways, that’s why you should have one birthday every year.

The cake looks very little for those plenty of candles.

Look, so many candles on a so little cake.

You are such a person who always reminds me the memories of my old days. I’ve never found a smart, funny and good looking person than you. Thank you for being with me.

You get older every year, but I don’t want to remember that. Just enjoy and don’t eat my portion of cake.

Look at my delicious cake. I know you love cakes so let’s finish it together.

I know we both have grown very old now, but I hope you are not going to die before you taste the birthday cake.

It’s time to stop counting the numbers of candles and start to think about the wishes you’ve got today.

You are a person for whom it’s always tough to find a perfect gift. So, I decided not to bring anything expect this beautiful rose.

Shopping anything for your special day is always hard, so lets do it together today.

Look, the number of candles is getting higher, but the cake is still too small. Happy birthday.

  

Next year, arrange a big cake so that the number of candles fit on the cake easily. Wishing you a happy birthday.

One more year has gone. Now you are more grown up. Make sure you do, it flawlessly.

It’s always good to have a birthday, but to me it’s another chance to eat lots more cakes.

You are so old that I don’t think you would be able to find a bigger cake that fits all the candles together.

No matter how old you become today, don’t let your special day to be spoiled by someone else than me.

Still your smile looks beautiful with those few remaining teeth. Happy birthday.

The number of candles is too much for your tiny cake. Make sure to arrange a bigger one next time.

I know your best birthdays are yet to arrive. Lets wait for those. Happy birthday.

A true friend always remembers your birth date not the how old you are becoming. But believe me, I can remember both of them. I feel so special for this.

You’ve started forgetting things. It’s an indication that you are getting older. But that doesn’t mean that we will forget to celebrate your special day.

The usefulness of life is measured on its application, not in its length. Have a wonderful birthday.

I know the reason why you are scared of your birthday. Because people wish you with weird messages and present your scary cards.

You try a lot to look younger, but still you look older. Enjoy your day.

You will find millions of people in this world and among them I would like to wish you a very happy birthday. Make it the best day of your life.

There are good as well as bad people in the world. Only good people are lucky to find wishes from their well wishers. Happy birthday.

Your birth date is very special because the world found was blessed with several special people. But I’m so sorry to tell you that you are not one of them.

Can you remember our those old days? Those memories are still fresh in my mind. Thanks for being with me. Happy birthday.

With age, wisdom comes. That’s why I believe you are one of the wisest people.

No matter how old you become, still you are the smartest and best looking person in this entire world.

People often say that time is the best healer though it’s also true that time is a dreadful beautician too. Have a wonderful day.

  

Today one of your secret is going to be revealed. So, get ready for the blast. Happy birthday.

Time runs fast and you are getting older fast too. It seems only a few days when we were young. Now it’s hard to find a tooth in your mouth. Happy birthday.

Every time I ask you the true age, you smile and skip that topic. Today, I won’t give you any chance to escape.

You are the perfect example of how old people celebrate their birthday. There is plenty of food, but doctor has warned you not to eat any of those. Happy birthday!!

You are the person who surprises me most. I don’t know how you passed first one and a half year without talking a single word. Good luck!

<

It would have been a holiday, if you were a great man in this country. But I’m so unlucky that you are not.

35 Birthday Wishes To Make You Laugh From The Heart

Here is a collection of wishes that you can use to congratulate with one of the happy birthday funny message ever. Best is to say it from the heart and this will bring a special touch while still making the birthday boy or a bday girl laugh.

Respect for all your stuff you have successfully ruined bro. But somehow you have forget to ruined the cake. Because of that I want to say happy birthday brother, we love you anyway 🙂

More candles are on their way to join your cake. Hope you’ll be able to see them very soon.

Your small cake doesn’t have enough space to fit all those candles and also our appetite.

You are the one who has helped me a lot to walk through the rough roads of life. Thanks for everything you did for me including those fights.

There are lots of candles on the cake. So, I guess you need a big lungs to blow all them out.

No matter how big or small the cake is. Remember that you get older every year.

You don’t look as old as your age.

At the age of fifty, you are dancing like only twenty years old. You look amazing. Happy birthday.

The more you are growing, the more mature you are becoming. Happy birthday to the most mature person I’ve ever meet.

I feel jealous because you get the most wishes on birthday. Happy birthday.

It’s time to say that I’m getting older when you find it’s tough to walk up the stairs. That’s true. Happy birthday.

You know that you have passed your golden young days when the walking through the stairs becomes really hard. Moreover, you need to call it as an exercise too. Happy birthday.

You are someone whose birthday can easily be remembered without using any kind reminder options.

Let me wish you as the very first person. I don’t want anyone to do that before me.

If it wasn’t your birthday celebration, I would have been going to buy some drinks for tonight.

I never make any joke that is related to age. Because I know it hurts someone like you.

It’s your birthday. So, get ready to check the notifications for next 24 hours.

It’s your birthday and I think it’s the right time to remind you that my birthday is closing too. Happy birthday.

I tried to find one of the best cards for you, but in the end I could manage only this. Have a wonderful celebration.

We hope you like our compilation of birthday wishes funny as the funny birthday wishes for brother and funny birthday wishes for sister should ever be for that birthday special day.

Keep visting us for more happy birthday dad wishes quotes and more happy birthday sister wishes. Also please share these messages on Pinterest and Facebook for the best result on making someone happy.

Funny Happy Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday! i cashed in all my new years resolutions to buy this card!

As you’ve aged I’ve started to wonder, Does the skin on your face really wrinkle or is it just your own personal treasure map to follow in the afterlife and you are suppose to be staring at the mirror studying it? Anyways Happy Birthday! Here’s to surviving to the next clue.

Congratulations! Another year of not remembering the horror you were born into! Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday. I didn’t buy you a present. I’ve heard that we are either born rich or handsome and clearly you’re loaded!

I bought this card for you and I don’t remember why…use it for your birthday because I’ll probably forget that too.

I’d like to wish you health on your birthday, but I’m broke and need that inheritance. Here’s to great sex instead.

For my wife on her birthday, the stars are beautiful and the moon is bright. This was supposed to be romantic but instead I’ll make your sandwich tonight.

My darling child, on the day you were born, the world saw beauty and bliss. Except for me. I got a headache from having to write all of this. Happy Birthday.

To my sibling, enjoy your awesome day. Tomorrow, it’s back in the gallows with the rest of us.

Its your birthday!!!!…….will not be airing today due to technical difficulties. Please check with your local parental advisers on how to access this content.

I use to hear with age comes wisdom. Congratulations on another year of proving them wrong. Happy birthday.

Roses are red; Violets are Blue. May the Lord have Mercy on what the years have done to you.

I send my best birthday wishes, and apologize for the absence and no gift. The Border Patrol and I disagreed on what constituted “pretty plants”. On the bright side, I hear I will be able to send you a stainless steel fork ring next year so I’m excited about that.

As you can see from the list, a tiny bit of laughter can go a long way. Brighten up the next birthday you visit with any of these phrases or create your own. The art of a good phrase is knowing your audience. Maybe some of these are not for you. Either case, knowing someone personally, allows you to create your own humor and place it in a card, speak it in a toast, or plaster it on a billboard. Get creative and enjoy your next birthday party putting grins on everyone’s faces and laughter in their hearts.

Funny Happy Birthday Wishes for brother or husband

I know it is difficult not being able to admire the top of your cake because of all the candles, especially because of your failing eyesight. At least retirement is coming soon! Happy birthday oldie!

Remember, now that you’re older, age is an irrelephant number. But like elephants, we don’t forget. We know you’re old!

The older you are, the better you’ll get. Unless you’re a cookie, then you’ll just go soft.

We all know birthdays are good for your health. Studies have proved that those who have more of them have lived longer.

Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? I bet you can cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time now you’re older!

One more year you’ve survived to annoy everyone you know! Happy birthday!

Thank you to everyone who wished me a birthday message because a notification appeared in the top right of your Facebook account.

Happy birthday to someone who will have no teeth soon. Enjoy the cake while you still can!

Another year older, but not another year wiser!

Since we’re like sisters, if you let me borrow everything of yours, I will not tell your mom what happens at this party.

Think of all the things you wish to be told on your birthday and just imagine I told them so I don’t have to!

Thank you for always being older than me. You’ll get to experience the joys of back pain and being toothless first!

We considered buying the amount of candles to match your age to put on the cake. But we’d run out of space on the cake. Happy birthday!

I tried to make a list of the words of wisdom you have taught me over the years to try and make this birthday special. Unfortunately, my list is blank! Happy birthday anyway!

WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: #Birthday Wishes-#Funny Birthday Wishes Video-#happy birthday Wishes-#Birthday Video for Whats App

funny birthday sperm wish. Happy birthday! Sorry, we started without you! Birthdays are good for you. Statistics.

best funny happy birthday wishes
Written by Kazrabar
Write a comment