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Adult humor birthday wishes

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Adult humor birthday wishes
January 17, 2019 Anniversary Wishes for Wife 4 comments

Verjaardag Birthday Love, Happy Birthday Wishes, Sister Birthday Funny, 60th Happy Birthday From Me And My Pussy Greeting Card Adult Humour Retro.

Funny Birthday Messages

Being funny in a card is sometimes a challenging thing to do. Options include using an inside joke, a themed message such as sports sayings, Star Wars wishes, superhero messages or even an interesting language birthday wish. These are some original funny ideas to use in a birthday card.
  • Your birthday should be a national holiday.  I'll be the first to volunteer to take a day off work in your honor.
  • Stop having so many birthdays! Seriously, each year it gets more difficult to find you a gift.
  • When I think of the word youth, I think of you. That’s because the word “you” is contained in the word “youth.”  I hope you are feeling youthful on your birthday.
  • No one holds a candle to you on your birthday. That’s because you're probably already hot from all the candles on your cake.
  • I've decided to switch my vote from the (Republican/Democratic) party to your birthday party.
  • Who ever decided to celebrate birthdays must have been young.
  • "Old is in the eye of the beholder."  That's why it's getting difficult to read.
  • Shouldn't you get your mom something on your birthday? It's your birthday, but it's her Mother's day!
  • Don't let anyone tell you that you are old, especially if you can hear them say it without having to read lips.
  • If it's your birthday, then you better dress for the occasion. Wear your birthday suit. Just kidding, your suit is probably too wrinkled.
  • Isn't it funny how you end your life like the way you came out? You're wrinkled, cold, and weak. Here's to many more birthdays!
  • Just think. Pretty soon you'll be able to use the bathroom in your diaper again. That was the good life. Happy Birthday! You're one year closer.
  • Adding a candle on your cake today means your doctor will probably be adding another pill to your daily regimen of medicine.
  • Having a personal crisis or wondering about your life purpose is normal on your birthday. So you get to be normal for one day out of the year.
  • There’s a correlation between aging and being dishonest about your age. So, on a scale of 1-100, how many years dishonest are you?
  • In some cultures, age is a sign of distinction that demands respect. Tell me. How many years of respect do I owe you?
  • I understand if you don’t want to tell me your true age. However, I have a math problem for you to help me with. If I’m __ years old now, how old will you be when I turn 100 years old?
  • If you’re wondering what to wear for your birthday, don’t forget that you can wear your birthday suit. Don't forget to iron it though. It gets more wrinkled each year.
  • Since your mother worked extremely hard on your birthday to birth you, shouldn’t she be the one getting the presents, cake, and party?
  • According to the government, your birthday is a very important day. It’s the day you become a citizen.

Funny Birthday Greeting Card - Rude Funny Happy Birthday for Him or Her - Birthday Card - Friend Card - Rude Card - Inappropriate (Mature).

Birthday Messages and Quotes to Write in a Card

adult humor birthday wishes

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Funny Adult Birthday Cards

adult humor birthday wishes

Birthdays are special to all of us. If anyone forgets to wish you on your day, chances are high that you will never forget that they didn’t. It is important to wish loved ones, friends and family on their special day and put a smile on their face. Birthday wishes make people feel loved and remembered. A call, text or even a Facebook message goes a long way in saying “we care”. A simple call at midnight to wish “Happy Birthday” or a bouquet of flowers with a card and chocolates does the trick.

But then again that is all cliché. Isn’t it much more fun when you can poke others about turning older? People are taking to funny birthday wishes to make the other person smile from ear to ear. It is effective, simple and can go on to be one of the most memorable wishes. Whatever you do, here are some tips to keep in mind while sending out a funny birthday wish:


Damn, you’re so old, your first pet must have been a dinosaur!


These are some funny and witty messages that you can share on social media or send to someone out on a birthday ecard, SMS or via e-mail on their special day.

Short Funny Birthday Wishes

  • We thought we would get the right amount of candles to put on your cake this year, but quickly ran out of space. Happy Birthday!
  • One of the best pieces of advice in life is “you have to appreciate the little things”. That said, I know that spotting little things is easier said than done at your age! Happy Birthday!
  • Seeing as I usually forget everyone’s birthdays, you should consider it a miracle that I’m sending you this message. Happy Birthday!
  • It’s about time one of us turned 18! Drinks are on you, then! Happy Birthday!
  • Don’t let your age get you down, it won’t be long until you are allowed to start learning to drive. But until then, on your bike! Happy Birthday!
  • To my brother who still owes me several big ones. I didn’t get you a gift this year, so let’s call it even. Happy Birthday!
  • Ain’t no Cake Big Enough! | Funny Birthday Wishes for Older and Younger Brothers
  • I can’t believe how big you’re getting! Long gone are the days when I could steal cake from your plate and no one would ever be the wiser. Happy Birthday!
  • Don’t you think it’s about time we grew up a bit and stopped painting the town? I know exactly what you’ll say. Next year. Happy Birthday!
  • I’m not a fan of overly sweet messages as you know, birthdays are for fun! So let’s ditch the old folks later and get out and about like we used to! Happy Birthday!

Oh yeah, one more year to annoy everyone you know.

  • Oh yeah, one more year to annoy everyone you know. Happy Birthday, anyway!…
  • I hope you have low expectations for your meal and cake this year, I hear dad’s having a go at being the chef. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday, you’re closer to seeing another century pass.
  • Your LOL Message! | Funny Birthday Wishes for a Friend
  • One more year to pretend you’re old enough to care about people around you.
  • You’re not old. You’re just old enough to know better and not old enough to care. Happy Birthday!
  • The emergency department is on speed dial just in case you have an unexpected asthma attack blowing the candles.
  • Party like it’s 1959, when you could still dance and drink alcohol without ending up you to the hospital.
  • Remember when we stayed up late running from the law? No? Good. I don’t either. Happy Birthday oldie!

Another year to prove that older doesn’t really mean wiser.

  • Another year to prove that older doesn’t really mean wiser. Happy birthday!
  • Going old happens. Growing up is a choice. Happy Birthday.
  • Happy Birthday. You’re one step closer to diapers being mandatory!
  • I made a list about the words of wisdom I wanted to give you for your birthday. It’s still blank. Maybe next year.
  • May all your birthday wishes come true — except for the illegal ones!

Happy Birthday. Thank you for always being older than me.

  • It’s your birthday, but make sure you get all your present before you offend everyone.
  • Today is your birthday, the only day you’re allowed to say things that you’d regret on any other day.
  • Oh yeah! You’re getting closer to the age when the government sends you money every month. Happy Birthday!
  • Statistics show that people who live longer have more birthdays, costing us more money for presents!
  • If you counted your birthday in dog years, you’d now be a teenager! Happy Birthday.
  • Another year to kick your bucket list to the curb.

More Birthdays bring a longer life. No science in that. Happy Birthday!

  • Happy birthday! Here’s to being immature for a lifetime.
  • As your younger sister, it’s only right for me to remind you on your birthday that you’re still older than me. Ha!
  • A Great and Hilarious Tribute to your Sis! | Funny Birthday Wishes for your Sister
  • When I reach your age I’ll still younger than you, you dinosaur! Happy bday!
  • Today is the start of the rest of your life. What? You’re how old. Revise: Today is the start of the oldest part of your life.

If you counted your birthday in dog years, you’d now be a teenager! Happy Birthday.

  • Don’t you wish you were a kid again? Of course not, cause you’re still doing the same things you did back then.
  • Here’s hoping that you enjoy your birthday as much as you enjoy torturing everyone all year.
  • I tried to find something that represented the year you were born. Unfortunately, the thrift shops were closed. Happy Birthday.
  • Congratulations bud! You are now officially 20 years away from turning 50.

You’re still young! Happy Bday.

  • I’m just coming over for the treat. By the way, many happy returns.
  • Here is a hug! Happy birthday!!!! PS: I’m broke!
  • You just lost one more year of your life. Happy birthday, man!
  • It is said that those who have the most birthdays, live the longest. Birthdays are great. Happy birthday, dude.

Happy birthday, Oldie.

  • Happy birthday, Dinosaur.
  • You turned 50? Well that botox is certainly working.
  • You asked for it. Here is nothing. Happy birthday.
  • I hope you see the day when you have no teeth.
  • Will there be cake tomorrow or no?
  • Happy birthday, my 30-year-old Grandma.

This year, do it your way.

  • Want to look young today? Play chess with Grandpa.
  • Want to look young today? Go to an old age home.
  • You just tuned 40? Well, your mom just told me you are 43.
  • Your grandmother wants her walking stick back. Happy Birthday!
  • I can never forget your birthday. It always comes after the day you remind me of it. Happy birthday.
  • Happy 500th birthday, Vampire. May you stay forever young!
  • Do I have to remind you at your age that TODAY is your birthday? Happy birthday to you.

Your age today… is the new black.

  • You’re great and even greater on your birthday. YES, I’ve been drinking!
  • The funny thing about you is that you age, but your maturity levels always stay the same!
  • This time we made sure that your candles cost less than the cake. We just got the two numbers. Have a happy 85th birthday!
  • The secret to a great birthday is not remembering what happened that day. Just don’t wake up in jail.
  • Now it’s time to fall in love, get married and make me a grandparent. And hopefully do all those things in this order! Until then Happy Birthday!
  • Your wife say you’re definitely getting better with age. Does that mean you started to take the trash out? Happy Bday.

On the occasion of this birthday, looking for the meaning of life in the back of my head.

  • This birthday means it’ time to start treating your kids like gold. They’ll be choosing your nursing home soon.
  • It’s your birthday. The good news is that you’re only as old as you act and right now you’re in kindergarten.
  • I will never send you one of those greeting cards making fun about your age. I know how sensitive old folks are about their age.
  • Finally you’re 21 and legally able to do everything you’ve been doing since you were 14 years old.

  • What comes with being 18 years old? Bills, bills and more bills… and waiting three more years to do what you really want.
  • I can’t believe you’re 50. You don’t look a day over 49 and a half.
  • You know you’re getting old when your kids are lecturing you. Fight the power! Happy Birthday!

Birthdays are nuts!

  • I bet if you knew at 18 years old what you know now, you’d have still done the same stupid things that you did. Here’s to staying young. Happy Birthday.
  • I thought about sending you a birthday card mocking your age, but I decided against it. Remember that when you are writing your will.
  • You’re the best young person I know. You make me thankful to be old.
  • Don’t worry about getting old. You’re still above ground.
  • The secret to staying young is lying about your age. Happy Birthday!

Blow this candle and hope for the best.

  • Let’s be honest! You don’t really care what I write on this card. You probably won’t even read it. All you care about is the gift inside! And that’s why I love you, happy birthday!
  • Consider the positives. You have another birthday and you still have all your teeth.
  • I just wanted to remind you that you’re a year older than you were last year.
  • Today is the day when everyone reminds you you’re a year older and we all pretend to be happy about it.
  • Happy Birthday! You don’t look a day over… whatever age you were at your last birthday!
  • You had me at “there will be cake and ice cream”. Happy Birthday to a truly special person who admires candy!

Happy Baaaaaaaaarthday!

Longer Funny Birthday Wishes

  • We all knew this day was coming, it’s not bad luck, its nature. It’s best to just suck it up and accept the truth. It’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public. Happy Birthday!
  • Mum, it’s that time of year again! You do make it hard for us, don’t you?! You never chose a favorite cake for us to get, or special thing for us to do. You can never give us a list of things you want or favorite meal for us to prepare! You are the hardest woman on earth to please! For these reasons we were forced to make it up, so don’t blame us if the day is not up to scratch! Happy Birthday to the world’s biggest fence-sitting mum!
  • Not quite an adult, but no longer a child. This is one of the toughest ages of your life. You have most of life’s firsts to look forward to, and a whole mess of early mistakes to leave behind. Let me give you one single piece of advice, that I wish someone had told me when I was your age: Stay away from bad boys.

Dear friend, have you ever wondered why I’ve kept you around for so long? You know too many of my secrets!

  • You made it! You are now officially old! Maybe no one else has the guts to let you know, but don’t worry. In my opinion you’ll make a sexy grey fox for sure!
  • Another year, another birthday to organize, another headache. You better get used to headaches; they become more and more common when pushing middle age!
  • You may be just a one year old baby! So you can’t read this message yet! But since we have Twitter, Facebook and the Cloud, doing this kind of thing now makes sense!
  • Last year it was a nice dinner at a fantastic hotel, the year before we went to Vegas, and now this year you’re just staying in? I guess the rumors are true, old age does ruin people. Happy Birthday! Have a good one!

Happy Birthday. Enjoy this day.

  • I never celebrate my birthday with a huge party, and you always ask me why. While tomorrow you will be surrounded by mess and a pile of huge hospitality bills, I will be enjoying a nice quiet lie in. That’s why.
  • If you are hung over, struggle to think clearly and suffer a terrible headache in the morning, don’t worry. It only means you’ve had one of the best nights of your life!
  • If you were a boy I would be telling you to have a great time, not to be shy, to be brave, talk to everyone and not to get into too much trouble! But since you’re a girl I’m obliged to remind you that talking to strangers is a bad idea. Stay away from all naughty looking boys and don’t get into any trouble at all! Enjoy!

Birthday and liking it.

  • You should see your age as something to boast about, not worry over. The next time someone makes an age joke at you, remind them that you’ve been around longer than they’ve been able to walk, and if they make it to half your age, they should consider themselves lucky!
  • To the world’s greatest dad, you make me laugh, you keep me fed, you brush my hair and buy me clothes. So I guess it’s only fair that I return the favor and spoil you this one day of the year! Don’t expect big things though, please remember I’m only small. Happy Birthday.

If we’re late, keep us some cake.

  • You probably haven’t been told this before, but when you were first born the doctors thought there was something wrong with you! With those eyes, strange ears and funny nose, it’s genuinely quite amazing they ever let you leave the hospital.
  • To my dearest, most favorite and most precious little sister. Our family was so very blessed the day you were born. It was such a joy to grow up with you and share so many great moments together. Remember these kind words when you’re cutting and dishing out the cake portions later!
  • The best thing about your birthday is that you’ve now reached the age to say: “Those kids don’t know anything. When I was young…” and then go on blathering all day, annoying everyone around you.
  • I just wanted you to know that they say 50 is the new 30, skinny jeans are out and the saggy, relaxed look is in! Also, neatly pressed polo shirts are out and well worn and wrinkled is in! Happy Birthday you trendsetter you!!

May your day be more beautiful than a Unicorn farting rainbows!

  • Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. You smell like my husband and you sorta look like him too.
  • You remind me of a jar of pickles. You’re pretty well preserved for your age. Happy Birthday, my dear old friend!
  • Happy Birthday—-& just to let you know the tablecloth is flame resistant, I have the fire department on stand-by and there is a fire extinguisher under the table.

And then he tells me I’m just 27.

  • I have sources that have informed me that it’s your birthday and that you are a die-hard Obama fan. Enjoy this premium roast coffee that is imported and served at the White House! Kenya Arabica Bean Anniversary of Barack Obama’s Kenyan Birth blend.
  • You have more preservatives in you than a jar of mayonnaise! There isn’t an expiration date on your bottom, is there? Happy Birthday, my fantastically well preserved friend!
  • My momma always said “Life was like a box of chocolates. You gotta keep sticking your finger in them until you find the one that you want to get.” Happy Birthday.

If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!

  • “You want answers?! You can’t handle the truth!” …but I will tell you anyways. It’s your god*amn birthday!
  • I hope your birthday leaves you less hot & bothered than when you read 50 Shades of Grey. Happy Birthday.
  • Don’t think of them as wrinkles. Think of them as creases that just need some starch and a bit of ironing. Cheers to another year & another crease.
  • Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…..

Birthdays are a freud. Nobody is getting any junger.

  • Congratulations! You are another year closer to being able to get that senior discount at Target and wear the underwear that you can pee in!!
  • Brother, I figured today would be as good a day as any to tell you that you were adopted!! Just kidding. Happy Birthday—or is it??
  • Lucille Ball said it best when she said, “The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” May you stay forever 28—LIAR!

Lucille Ball said it best when she said: The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age! May You stay forever 28…Liar!

  • I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys “R” Us kid. If you are now singing the end of this magical verse, you are most certainly an 80s kid. Happy Birthday to my NKOTB loving, neon scrunchy wearing, slap bracelet collecting friend.
  • If you’re having vanilla cake I would like some ice cream… but on the side. If it’s chocolate cake, no ice cream. If you’re having vanilla and chocolate marble cake, I would like the ice cream served on top of the cake. If there’s no cake, than just a scoop of chocolate ice cream. Happy Birthday to a friend that always goes above and beyond!!
  • I hope you enjoy your birthday as much as Kim Kardashian enjoys taking selfies!
  • I would like to wish you a politically correct birthday so I won’t encourage overindulgence of alcohol, getting less than the recommended 9 hours of sleep, or listening to excessively loud rock music…..but happy birthday, even if all the fun has been sucked out of it!

And I’m saving all my love for your birthday cake tonight.

  • Chuck Norris wanted to apologize for not being able to make it to your birthday party. He was busy geocaching in Antarctica. Happy Birthday.
  • Cougar was so last year. This year you are a cheetah, fierce & fabulous!! Happy Birthday!!!
  • If  ‘only the good die young’,…..I’m afraid you’re going to be celebrating a few more birthdays.
  • One must not simply wish someone a happy birthday, one must shout it from the rooftops, start a conga line in the middle of town, resurrect Julia Child to bake a triple layer ice cream cake!
  • Do you want to eat some ice cream? Come on, how about some chocolate cake? I never see you anymore. Come out the door. Come on let’s go and make a wish! Don’t tell me to ‘let it go’ because your birthday comes only once a year. We used to be best buddies but now we’re not. Do I really smell that bad? I want to wish you happy birthday, to your face. Not from behind a door.

I love parties. Happy Birthday.

  • I’m glad I don’t need Facebook to tell me it’s your birthday. Happy Birthday!
  • To show how not old we are I am going to wish you happy birthday in under 140 characters. #happybirthday #youngandhot #stillgettingcarded
  • Happy Birthday to someone who is aging better than Britney Spears AND Lindsay Lohan!!
  • Happy 16th Birthday, Sweetie! After digging out your old baby photo albums, I found the cutest picture of you wearing nothing but socks and a smile! I wished you happy birthday on your Facebook and Instagram. I couldn’t figure out how to upload the darn photo on Twitter. I hope you have a great day! I love you!

Just call me when the cake comes in.

  • May the odds be ever in your favor… and if they’re not I hope there is a Katniss to take your place because it isn’t going to be me!
  • Brace yourself. An explosion of Facebook notifications is coming. Happy Birthday from the Lannisters… we never forget.
  • “We got no food! We got no jobs! Our pets heads are falling off!!” I hope you are having a better day than Harry & Lloyd. Happy Birthday, friend!
  • You’re depressed about being another year older? Look on the bright side, you don’t live in North Korea where that evil dictator Kim Jong-un could kill you for it.
  • You know you’re old when your social calendar has bi-weekly ‘meet friends for coffee @ blood pressure clinic’ on it. Happy birthday, you old fart.
  • I promise when you get old and forgetful I won’t let you forget to wash your hands after you pee or feed the cat food to your cat and not yourself. Happy Birthday, Mother!

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> Avoid cracking any jokes that will hurt the other person’s feelings.

> Consider the person and his age while sending the joke.

> Be sure that the other person will take things in his/her stride.

> Make sure that you share that kind of leg pulling relationship with the person otherwise things can get awkward.

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People are taking to funny birthday wishes to wish "Happy Birthday" and make the other person smile I will never send you one of those greeting cards making fun about your age. Not quite an adult, but no longer a child.

Funny Birthday Quotes

adult humor birthday wishes

Choosing a birthday card is just half the battle; now you have to think of something funny to write inside. We’ve scoured the internet, searched our own cards and trawled thousands of ideas to bring you a list of the 69 funniest things you can say inside your card. From the rude and offensive to the cheeky and light-hearted messages, simply choose your favourite and pass it off as your own. You’re welcome!

General Funny Birthday Wishes

1. I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!
2. Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
3. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
4. May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care less about.
5. On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high, and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there.
6. You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
7. Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
8. If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!
9. Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!
10. It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
11. Right, let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night 😉
12. Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
13. Congratulations on getting slightly older!
14. Well done – you have still been alive for several years!

Old Age Jokes

1. Happy birthday – I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me 
2. Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!
3. Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…
4. If you look back through all the years you’ve lived, the first thing you’ll notice is that you need a telescope.
5. Happy birthday – So far, this is the oldest you’ve ever been!
6. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year… if you make it!
7. If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!
8. Yes, we have reached that age… when every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age’. You’re still looking great though… for your age!
9. As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
10. Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake.
11. We all knew this day was coming. It’s best to just suck it up and accept it’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public.
12. Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!
13. I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now… you’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.
14. Just remember the more candles on the cake, the bigger the cake you’ll get! Now who’s laughing?
15. Another year older and you’re one step closer to getting those Velcro shoes!
16. Remember that age is just a number… just a really, REALLY high one in your case!
17. I regret to inform you that your childhood has EXPIRED.

Rude Birthday Messages

1. Happy birthday! Let’s celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else’s bed…
2. I hope you have a happy annual celebration of escaping from your mum’s uterus. I wish that you may never again have to return to your dark underwater prison.
3. Birthdays are like bogeys. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
4. I hope your birthday is better than walking through a fart with your mouth open.
5. Since it’s your birthday, I’ll let you leave the lights on.
6. May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows.
7. I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world, naked and screaming!
8. Some say that age is just a number. I say that’s bullsh**. I mean, you’re getting really old. Happy birthday anyway.
9. Happy birthday… congratulations on now being of the age where understand the horror of waking yourself up with your own fart!
10. You might be old, but you’re still a d***.
11. Older and wiser… but still a bit of a pr***.
12. I didn’t know where to start on your birthday present so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours I found some really good stuff. But then I remembered I was supposed to be finding you a birthday present and it was too late. Sorry!
13. Have a mucking farvellous birthday!
14. Some things are better with age. Too bad you aren’t one of them.

Sarcastic Birthday Messages

1. You’re the least famous person I know of who was born on your birthday.
2. I couldn’t think of a message that would make you laugh for your birthday card… you’re too boring…
3. I hope your birthday is better than the card I sent you…
4. Seriously, I don’t know how many more of your birthdays I can handle.
5. Another year older… and you still can’t grow a beard.
6. If I made fun of how many years old you are, it would be beyond funny.
7. Getting someone as awesome as me to send a birthday message to you, has undoubtedly been your biggest achievement this year.
8. Congratulations on being a year older and still maintaining such a low level of maturity; you are truly an inspiration.
9. Happy birthday! Here is a piece of card to show you how little I care…
10. What are you so happy about? It’s your birthday and you are going to have to spend a lot of money to keep us happy. At least have fun doing it!
11. Life was meant to be celebrated more often than just one day a year. Man, you’re missing opportunities the other 364 days!
12. I decided to keep having birthdays because it beats the alternative… Death.

Belated Birthday Wishes

1. I know you had lots of birthday wishes yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? Me, that’s who. Happy belated birthday!
2. I’m sorry my birthday wishes are belated—I honestly didn’t think you’d live this long. Happy birthday!
3. Sorry I wasn’t there with you to mourn the loss of your youth. Happy birthday!
4. It’s not your fault, buddy. No one can help the fact that you’re growing old, and that I totally forgot… Happy belated birthday!
5. You’re amazing, wise, super cool, fantastic, brilliant, intelligent – but don’t get too excited. I’m only saying all these things because I’m a couple of days late! Happy birthday!
6. It wasn’t my fault… Facebook forgot to remind me about your birthday!
7. It’s so tough to believe that you are getting older, that I decided to wish you happy birthday late this year.
8. Sorry I missed your birthday… hopefully you’ll have another one next year…

Funny Birthday Quotes

1. Two things that are inevitable for any living person are birthdays and taxes.
2. Birthdays are like cheese. They stink more the older they get.
3. Aging is the worst side effect of birthdays.
4. There’s really only one true birthday. The rest are simply anniversaries of the day of a person’s birth.
5. Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.
6. The old pessimist focuses on his growing number. The old optimist focuses on his growing blessings.
7. Getting older is just part of life… and the other parts are even worse.
8. The older you get, the more disoriented your hair gets. Once it leaves your head, it seems to get lost.

If you are looking for a funny birthday card, browse through our funny birthday cards range.

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Written by Kajim
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