Give them the gift of laughter (or at least a smirk) with these funny birthday wishes . Includes clever birthday messages about aging and other subjects.
Choosing a birthday card is just half the battle; now you have to think of something funny to write inside. We’ve scoured the internet, searched our own cards and trawled thousands of ideas to bring you a list of the 69 funniest things you can say inside your card. From the rude and offensive to the cheeky and light-hearted messages, simply choose your favourite and pass it off as your own. You’re welcome!
1. I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!
2. Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
3. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
4. May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care less about.
5. On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high, and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there.
6. You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
7. Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
8. If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!
9. Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!
10. It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
11. Right, let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night 😉
12. Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
13. Congratulations on getting slightly older!
14. Well done – you have still been alive for several years!
1. Happy birthday – I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me
2. Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!
3. Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…
4. If you look back through all the years you’ve lived, the first thing you’ll notice is that you need a telescope.
5. Happy birthday – So far, this is the oldest you’ve ever been!
6. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year… if you make it!
7. If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!
8. Yes, we have reached that age… when every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age’. You’re still looking great though… for your age!
9. As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
10. Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake.
11. We all knew this day was coming. It’s best to just suck it up and accept it’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public.
12. Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!
13. I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now… you’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.
14. Just remember the more candles on the cake, the bigger the cake you’ll get! Now who’s laughing?
15. Another year older and you’re one step closer to getting those Velcro shoes!
16. Remember that age is just a number… just a really, REALLY high one in your case!
17. I regret to inform you that your childhood has EXPIRED.
1. Happy birthday! Let’s celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else’s bed…
2. I hope you have a happy annual celebration of escaping from your mum’s uterus. I wish that you may never again have to return to your dark underwater prison.
3. Birthdays are like bogeys. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
4. I hope your birthday is better than walking through a fart with your mouth open.
5. Since it’s your birthday, I’ll let you leave the lights on.
6. May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows.
7. I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world, naked and screaming!
8. Some say that age is just a number. I say that’s bullsh**. I mean, you’re getting really old. Happy birthday anyway.
9. Happy birthday… congratulations on now being of the age where understand the horror of waking yourself up with your own fart!
10. You might be old, but you’re still a d***.
11. Older and wiser… but still a bit of a pr***.
12. I didn’t know where to start on your birthday present so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours I found some really good stuff. But then I remembered I was supposed to be finding you a birthday present and it was too late. Sorry!
13. Have a mucking farvellous birthday!
14. Some things are better with age. Too bad you aren’t one of them.
1. You’re the least famous person I know of who was born on your birthday.
2. I couldn’t think of a message that would make you laugh for your birthday card… you’re too boring…
3. I hope your birthday is better than the card I sent you…
4. Seriously, I don’t know how many more of your birthdays I can handle.
5. Another year older… and you still can’t grow a beard.
6. If I made fun of how many years old you are, it would be beyond funny.
7. Getting someone as awesome as me to send a birthday message to you, has undoubtedly been your biggest achievement this year.
8. Congratulations on being a year older and still maintaining such a low level of maturity; you are truly an inspiration.
9. Happy birthday! Here is a piece of card to show you how little I care…
10. What are you so happy about? It’s your birthday and you are going to have to spend a lot of money to keep us happy. At least have fun doing it!
11. Life was meant to be celebrated more often than just one day a year. Man, you’re missing opportunities the other 364 days!
12. I decided to keep having birthdays because it beats the alternative… Death.
1. I know you had lots of birthday wishes yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? Me, that’s who. Happy belated birthday!
2. I’m sorry my birthday wishes are belated—I honestly didn’t think you’d live this long. Happy birthday!
3. Sorry I wasn’t there with you to mourn the loss of your youth. Happy birthday!
4. It’s not your fault, buddy. No one can help the fact that you’re growing old, and that I totally forgot… Happy belated birthday!
5. You’re amazing, wise, super cool, fantastic, brilliant, intelligent – but don’t get too excited. I’m only saying all these things because I’m a couple of days late! Happy birthday!
6. It wasn’t my fault… Facebook forgot to remind me about your birthday!
7. It’s so tough to believe that you are getting older, that I decided to wish you happy birthday late this year.
8. Sorry I missed your birthday… hopefully you’ll have another one next year…
1. Two things that are inevitable for any living person are birthdays and taxes.
2. Birthdays are like cheese. They stink more the older they get.
3. Aging is the worst side effect of birthdays.
4. There’s really only one true birthday. The rest are simply anniversaries of the day of a person’s birth.
5. Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.
6. The old pessimist focuses on his growing number. The old optimist focuses on his growing blessings.
7. Getting older is just part of life… and the other parts are even worse.
8. The older you get, the more disoriented your hair gets. Once it leaves your head, it seems to get lost.
If you are looking for a funny birthday card, browse through our funny birthday cards range.
Looking for funny birthday wishes? You've come to the right place!.
“Happy Birthday, old man!” – not the nicest way to wish someone a happy birthday, is it? In fact it may even sound a bit cruel. But when it’s between friends we often make fun of and give each other a hard time over getting older. Especially when it’s guys! That sort of banter can seem harsh but is meant with affection.
Birthday wishes for – how should we say it – the older gentleman are quite often designed to ridicule and mock. Joking about their age, bodily functions, even sex lives are all common. Crude? Maybe. Funny? Definitely! And if it’s for a close pal then they usually take it all in good humour.
So if you’re looking for some funny birthday messages for an older man then you’re in the right place. The selection below is filled with the perfect wording ideas for your birthday wishes to the more mature fella you know.
These birthday quotes are all about getting older and old age so should be perfect to tease and poke fun at a male friend of yours.
We hope you liked these birthday wishes for old men and that they’ve helped you to have a bit of a laugh with a friend of yours. Be warned though: it won’t be too long until you’re on the receiving end of one of these messages yourself!
It can be hard to find exactly the words to say to your best friend on their birthday. So instead of just saying happy birthday best friend, use my list of happy birthday wishes to help you brainstorm!
There’s plenty of birthday wishes for your best friend to chose from. So whether you are looking for something sentimental, funny, weird, casual, or something in between; I’ve got you covered.
1. My birthday wish for you: I hope you never stop enjoying the small things in life. Because that’s what makes life worth living. I hope you take time to enjoy the present while working for a better future. I hope your year is full of memories, happiness, and adventure.
2. You’re older than you’ve been. But look on the bright side, you’re younger now than you’ll ever be!
3. I hope your birthday is as sweet as the cake. And the year to follow is filled with as much joy as you bring your friends!
4. May your birthday be amazingly awesome and your hangover be mercifully minor.
5. The more you live, the younger you become. Maybe that’s why you look so good for your age!
6. Be who you are, because who you are is amazing. Happy birthday to my best friend!
7. Woohoo! Cake, booze, and partying! Oops… I mean… happy birthday!
8. There’s no way that your birthday can be as happy as you make me. But I hope it’s close!
9. Through thick and thin, you were always there for me. Just know that I’ll always be there for you when you need me.
10. There are friends and then there are best friends, happy birthday to the best friend I could have asked for!
11. The best gift is the gift of friendship. So, that is what I got you for your birthday! Don’t worry… I got you a real present too.
12. It’s your birthday! Which means it’s a great excuse to make some bad decisions, let’s party it up!
13. Best friends are the friends who keep your embarrassing secrets private. Thank you for always keeping my less than proud moments under wraps.
14. Hey it’s your birthday and I just wanted to let you know that you’ll never have to face a problem alone. I may not be able to solve every problem but I’ll always be here for you when you need me.
15. When I think back to all the things we’ve been through, I’m so thankful that I got to go through everything with you by my side. Happy birthday to my best friend who never let me go it alone.
16. Hey you! It’s your birthday! Cake! Candles! Drinks! Presents! More drinks! Can you tell I’m excited?
17. I love it when it’s your birthday, because it means we have a great excuse to go out and have some fun! Let’s go celebrate!
18. You’ll never have to walk the world alone. As long as my heart beats, you’ll have me.
19. As long as I have a couch, you’ll have a couch to crash on. No matter what happens. You’ll always have a place if you need it.
20. What is a friend? You. You is a friend. You is my best friend. Best friend is have birthday. Happy birthday.
21. Happy birthday to my best friend. I hope it is filled with awesomeness!
22. Perfect birthday? Good food, good drinks, great friends, and lots of birthday presents and wishes!
23. It’s your day! But leave it in the capable hands of your best friends. We’ll treat you right!
24. If your birthday is half as amazing as you are, it’s going to be epic. Happy birthday to the best friend a person could ask for!
25. I hope you have a very hoppy birthday. Full of beers and cheers!
26. Best friends are like farts. Some are quiet. Some are loud. They embarrass you in public. They make you feel good. And they make you laugh.
27. For your birthday I got you hugs, kisses, and birthday wishes! Plus, dinner is on me!
28. Sure, you’re a year older, but we’ve got a lot more years of shenanigans ahead of us. When we’re in the old folks home we’ll still be causing trouble!
29. How old are you?! Nah, you don’t look a day over amazing.
30. Birthdays are like your own personal Christmas! Merry birthday to my best friend!
31. You aren’t getting older. You’re gaining XP. And it isn’t a birthday party. It’s a level up party!
32. My best friend is sweeter than cake, more colorful than confetti, and hotter than a candle. And it’s her birthday. Happy birthday!
33. When I first met you, I had no idea how important you would be to me. Happy birthday to my best friend in the world.
34. Best friends are like presents. You are always happy to see them. Happy birthday to the best present that life has given me.
35. You’re not just my best friend. You’re my sister. You may not have been born my sister, but we are family and we’ll always be family.
36. It’s not the number of friends. It’s the quality of them. Thanks for being the best of the best. I hope you have a wonderful birthday!
37. Life’s too short to spend it with people you don’t love. That’s why I hang out with you so much. Happy birthday!
38. It’s your birthday, but let’s not focus on the number of years gone by. Let’s look forward to the years to come! I’m planning on having a lot of fun in the coming years with my best friend!
39. It’s your birthday. You can dance if you want to. You can leave your cares behind. And if you need a dance partner, count me in!
40. You are smart, caring, funny, and a joy to be around. You remind me of myself! Happy birthday!
41. Forget your age and live the life your inner child wants to live!
42. Like Chili Davis said: Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. Happy birthday to my best friend, I hope you never grow up!
43. On your birthday, I just wanted to let you know that you are an amazing friend. Every life you touch, you make better.
44. Hey! It’s your birthday. Which means it’s time to put on that crown. You are a queen today and we are your loyal subjects. What mischief would her majesty like to get into?
45. Most of my best memories have you in them. Thank you for being such a great friend and walking beside me on this journey called life.
46. Today is your birthday. It’s the day we celebrate how ridiculously awesome you are!
47. Soooo I forgot, which one of us is supposed to be the bad influence? Doesn’t matter. It’s your birthday. We can both be!
48. You’ve been my own personal cheer leader, my therapist, and my voice of reason. But most importantly, you are my best friend. Happy birthday. You are amazing!
49. I love having someone in my life that I don’t have to be an adult around. Thank you so much for bringing out the kid in me. I hope you have a joyful birthday!
50. I don’t know what I would do without a great friend like you. Happy birthday to my best friend!
51. A best friend is someone who makes you feel comfortable being who you really are. Thanks for putting up with my craziness all these years!
52. To my best friend, I wish you all the happiness in the world in the coming year. I hope your birthday is the best and the days after it are even better.
53. Hanging out with you is always a blast and even more so on your birthday! So, let’s go out and make your birthday special!
54. Since it’s your birthday, I just wanted to let you know, you are my best friend. The very best friend I’ve ever had. I’m so glad you came into my life.
55. When we hang out, it’s like the world is a little brighter. Thanks for always making my world much better. I hope your birthday is as wonderful as you are.
56. To my best friend, I wish you the best birthday ever!
57. Hey best friend. It’s your birthday. And you need to know that you rock. Thanks for being awesome.
58. Whenever you feel down or think just can’t do something, just imagine me giving you a gigantic high five with a ridiculous look on my face. That should help. In the meantime though, happy birthday!
59. Best friends must walk a fine line between stopping their friend from making big bad decisions and encouraging them to make small bad decisions that are a lot of fun. And no one does it better than my partner in crime.
60. Friends are like family that we get to choose. I’m glad I made such a good choice!
61. Happy birthday to my adventure buddy. I hope this coming year will be filled with many more fun adventures together!
62. Friendships are like trees. You must water them for them to grow. So, let’s order some drinks!
63. You’ll be my best friend forever! …… Because you already know too much.
64. Here’s to all the inside jokes, all the stupid things we’ve done together, all the memories we’ve shared. May the years to come be filled with many more.
65. I probably wouldn’t fight a tiger for you or a lion. But I would definitely shoo a cat that was giving you the stink eye! Happy birthday to the friend that I would do almost anything for.
66. Thank you for accepting me for who I am and always encouraging me to be the person I should be.
67. Thanks for being weird with me. You are the best!
68. If you ever kill someone, call me first. I’ll help you get rid of the body. That’s your birthday present my friend, one free body disposal. The second time it happens, I’ll have to charge.
69. There are a lot of people who know a lot of my stories. But you were there to help me create all those great stories!
70. Happy birthday to my best friend. We are getting older, but we still have fun. In fact, we’ll probably be up to same shenanigans when we are in an old folks home together!
71. Time can change a lot but it will never change how much I care for you, my best friend.
72. Happy birthday to my best friend and part time therapist. Thanks for always listening to my problems and trying to help!
73. Hey, you’re weird. But it’s okay because I’m weird too. I’m so glad we get to be weird together.
74. Your problems are my problems. And I celebrate your successes like they were my own. I’ve always got your back. No matter what.
75. Thank you for always helping me live life to the fullest. I couldn’t ask for a better friend than you!
76. I don’t care about having lots of friends. I only care about have great friends. Like you!
77. I’ve seen you at your best and I’ve seen you at your darkest. And I still think you are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.
78. I’ve had a lot of half-ass friends in my life. That’s why I’m so happy I found a whole-ass friend!
79. Happy birthday to the person who always says yes to my crazy ideas! My life wouldn’t be nearly as fun without my best friend in it!
80. I’ve got lots of friends who make me laugh, but only you make me laugh so hard I snort. I’m so lucky to have you as my best friend. I hope your birthday is as fun as you are!
81. Thank you for always being there to save me from my dumb mistakes. I almost feel bad how many times you bailed me out. But because you are so thoughtful, you make just as many dumb mistakes as I do so I can bail you out and don’t have to feel bad!
82. Hey I just wanted to you to know that whenever you have a crazy idea, my only question will be: “What time?”
83. You make the most boring activities fun, you make the most serious situations hilarious, you make my world a better place.
84. My best friend has the most amazing, wonderful, humble, and all around just fantastic best friend! Happy birthday from your best friend!
85. For your birthday, here is my promise to you. If you yell Marco and I’m in earshot, I will always yell Polo. Because that’s what best friends do.
86. As long as you are my friend, you’ll never have to do silly stuff alone. Have a wonderful birthday and if you do anything ridiculous I’ll be right next to you doing the same thing.
87. I know I’m not always a perfect friend. But I’ll always be a loyal friend. I hope your birthday is as amazing as you are.
88. Whenever we hang out I feel like I’m home. Thank you for being such an amazing friend all these years.
89. When we became friends, you didn’t know what you were getting into. But now that we are best friends you are stuck with me. Mwhahahaha… I mean happy birthday!
90. Sure, no one else finds our antics amusing. But we do and that’s what is important! Happy birthday to my partner in crime.
91. Life’s a road and I’m glad to have you next to me on the journey. Through thick and thin, let’s get to our destination together.
92. It’s your birthday. Let’s do something stupid together.
93. I’d follow you through hell and back. But after we get done with that, I get to plan the next road trip. Happy birthday to my best and craziest friend.
94. Having lots of friends is great, but life just wouldn’t be the same without a best friend to share everything with. Thank you for being the such an amazing friend.
95. If they made a movie about our friendship, I’m not sure if anyone would watch it. But it would be my new favorite movie. Happy birthday to my best friend, you’ll always be a movie star in my eyes!
96. No matter how long we are apart, when we get back to together it’s always just like old times.
97. I don’t know how you put up with me, but I’m so glad you do!
98. When things are bad, let me know I’ll try to make them better. When things are going great, let me know I’ll celebrate with you. Middle of the night or middle of the day, I’ll always be there for you.
99. It’s my best friends’ birthday! Let’s make some fun mistakes!
100. I love it how we finish each other’s…. So, for your birthday I just want to say….
101. If you decided to become a hermit and live out in the middle of nowhere, I’d still visit you. Probably not often, but I’d come, and I’d bring booze.
102. Friends are the people who do all the weird things that you thought no one else did. Thanks for being weird like me. Happy birthday!
103. It’s hard to shop for a birthday present for someone who has everything. I mean you already have the best gift of all, a great best friend!
104. It’s your birthday, let’s get you all liquored up so you’ll do something embarrassing I can tease you about it later! Isn’t that what best friends are for?
105. We are different in a lot of ways, but that’s what makes us such good friends. Puzzle pieces need to be different to fit together! Happy birthday to my favorite corner piece.
106. When it comes to friends, like Al Capone said, it’s better to have four quarters than a hundred pennies. Happy birthday to my favorite quarter!
107. If you could rate friends, I’d only give you 1 star. That way I could have you all to myself! Happy birthday from the only best friend you’re allowed to have.
108. Great friends are like jeans. When you find one that fits perfectly, keep them forever. Happy birthday to the greatest friend, I hope I don’t ever wear you out!
109. Friends come and go, but best friends are the ones who stick around. I look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with you!
110. To my best friend, I hope for all the fun and happiness you could ask for on your birthday and for the days to come!
111. I know this past year was a rough one. But I’m sure the coming year will be your best yet! Happy birthday, this is the year that everything will go right, I can feel it!
112. My best friend deserves the best birthday. But I don’t have the funds for the best birthday ever, but just know you deserve it!
113. Did you know in some countries it’s customary for the person having the birthday to pay for all the drinks? Good thing you don’t live there. Drinks are on me tonight!
114. Happy birthday to my amazing, cool, hilarious, best friend. There’s no one else I would rather spend the day with!
115. Hey, thanks for being you. You are one of a kind and my best friend. Happy birthday and keep being awesome.
116. Attention, this is a message from the best friend broadcasting service. It is your birthday. Hooray. Thank you for your attention. You may now continue being your awesome self.
117. Well, one year older. The years fly by. There are so many the things we’ve done and seen. Time seems to slip away, but some of the best times have been spent with you.
118. You’ve been such a wonderful friend. I couldn’t ask for a better friend than you! Happy birthday, I hope your birthday is as amazing as you are!
119. Best friends are there in good times and bad. Through the sun and the storms. Best friends like you make the bad times tolerable and the good time even better!
120. Friends are like trees, the older they get the more beautiful they are!
121. It’s so wonderful having such a great friend to grow older with. And let’s face it, the older we get the better we get!
122. It’s your birthday, now you can bask in the glow of all those birthday candles on your cake!
123. Happy birthday to the friend I can always count on to like all my photos and posts. Thanks for always making me look cooler than I am!
124. My dearest friend I hope all your wishes come true on your birthday.
125. When I’m with you I have more fun than when I’m with anyone else!
126. Whether we are out causing trouble or just relaxing on the couch in our pajamas, we always have fun. So I know on your birthday we are going to have a blast!
127. Hey bestie, you sometimes you need to be reminded of how great you are. Happy birthday to my awesome best friend!
128. We are so loud when we hang out we must annoy everyone around us, but I wouldn’t have it any other way!
129. Happy birthday to my brother from another mother!
130. Best friends are like chips and salsa, syrup and pancakes, cake and icing, they work so well together and just aren’t the same without each other! Now let’s enjoy some of that cake and icing!
131. Why are you my friend? It’s not one thing, it’s the thousands of little things that you do. It’s the hundreds of inside jokes. It’s the road trips. It’s the late-night talks. It’s you being you.
132. Friendship. F is for fun. R is for really fun. I is for ummm I don’t know. Forget it, let’s go grab some drinks and have fun for your birthday!
133. Happy birthday to my best friend. You are better than a life sized majestic chocolate statue of a unicorn. That’s how amazing you are.
134. Even when we do nothing together, I still have a wonderful time. I love that. Happy birthday to the best friend I’ve ever had.
135. Thank you so much for being there whenever I need you, no matter what. You are a true friend. And to my best of friends, I want to wish you the happiest of birthdays. And I believe this next year will be your best yet!
136. Happy birthday! If anyone messes with you on your special day, just let me know. I’ll punch them right in their stupid face. Just one of the many benefits of having an awesome best friend like me!
137. If you fall, I’ll be there to pick you up again. Right after I stop laughing. Happy birthday!
138. I hope your birthday is so amazing you never forget it or that it is so amazing you can’t remember it. Either way, happy birthday!
139. It’s your birthday! I would say let’s go out have fun and act like idiots. But that’s what we do every time we hang out! Here’s to the greatest best friend there ever was.
140. For your birthday, I just wanted to remind you, I’m always here if you need me. On the weekend or on a week day, 24/7. If you call at 4am, I’ll pick up. Here’s to you bestie, I hope your special day is amazing!
141. If you get arrested on your birthday, I won’t be able to bail you out. Because I’ll be right next to you.
142. You make me laugh harder than anyone else. You’ve made me laugh so hard I peed myself. You are my best friend and always will be. I hope your birthday is as wonderful as you are!
143. It’s your birthday. I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you … that you’ll never have to do anything stupid alone.
144. As your best friend, it is my job to embarrass you. But it’s your birthday, so I’ll give you a break… until 12am.
145. Happy birthday to my best friend in the world. And since I’m not tight with any aliens or astronauts, I guess you’re my best friend in the whole universe!
146. I don’t have to tell you how awesome you are or how great of a friend you are. But it’s your birthday, so I will. You are the best!
147. Happy birthday to the friend who makes my family question my sexuality.
148. If I had to be stuck on a deserted island with only person, it would be you. Sure, you might not be a survival expert, but at least you’d make desperately trying to avoid death fun!
149. Sometimes it’s a mystery why we choose certain people to be our friends. But with you it’s obvious. You are an amazing person. And I hope you have an amazing birthday!
150. You’ll get lots of happy birthday wishes today. But who wishes you the happiest of happy birthday wishes? Me. That’s who.
151. So, as you know, I’m not exactly rolling in money. So, your gift isn’t the best. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think you are the best. You are! I just can’t afford the birthday gift you deserve.
Looking for more happy birthday friend images?
Happy birthday dad wishes – Tell your dad how much he means to you on his birthday!
Happy birthday cousin – Need some birthday wishes for your cousin? We’ve definitely got you covered!
Happy birthday sister – We’ve got all the birthday wishes you could ever want for your sister, and plenty more!
Filed Under: birthday wishes
क्या आप Funny Birthday Wishes in Hindi की तलाश कर रहे है अपने Friends या Lover के लिये तो आप बिलकुल सही जगह ाये है । यहाँ बहेतरीन.
Looking for Happy Birthday funny wishes, quotes, jokes and images to put a smile on someone's face on their birthday? Whether it's for him or for her, a friend or a colleague, or maybe even a belated birthday wish, we've got you covered with our huge selection of funny birthday wishes.
Write them in birthday cards, send them by SMS or email, or message someone on Facebook or Twitter. No matter how you send one of these funny wishes you're sure to brighten their birthday and make them laugh!
Use these quick-links to jump to a particular section, or scroll down the page to see the entire collection of funny birthday quotes and wishes.
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Last updated: February 19, 2019
For more ideas, take a look at funny birthday cards on Amazon.
A selection of happy birthday funny quotes you can use to wish someone a very happy birthday and poke fun at their age on their birthday. Use them as part of a funny birthday card message, or even as a Facebook caption.
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! (But it has also been scientifically proven that too many will kill you.)
Don't let ageing get you down... it's too hard to get back up again!
Middle age... when "happy hour" is a nap!
If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you're a genius!
What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
The tragedy of getting old: So many candles... so little cake.
Technically you're not 50. You're only $49.95, plus tax!
They say you lose your mind as you grow older... what they don't tell you is that you won't miss it much!
Age doesn't make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Chili Davis
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~ Jack Benny
Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art.
~ Stanislaw Lec
Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
~ Helen Hayes
I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.
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Some funny happy birthday wishes and messages you can use in a funny birthday card message to friends or family on their birthday.
I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I'm returning the favor. Happy Birthday!
A wise man once said, "Forget about your past, you cannot change it". I'd like to add: "Forget about your present, I didn't get you one".
Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who's smart and funny and good looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities.
It's your birthday? Let's get up to some mischief!
Funny birthday wishes about getting older:
It's OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.
You know, they say that age is really all in the mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.
Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
You're how old?! Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.
Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years... wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?
When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct!
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
You're not old! ...oh, no wait, actually you are, sorry about that...
Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.
Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.
I wouldn't say you're old... you've just been young for longer than most of us.
Don't grow up... It's a trap!
Great news! ...you're still alive!
You've got more than half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome... if you could remember any of it.
You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.
I thought you might need some help with the candles. Happy Birthday!
Personalize these happy birthday funny wishes with the age of the person.
Don't think of it as turning [insert age]. We're here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your [insert age -10]th birthday.
Looking [insert age] is great - if you're sixty.
[For under 40s:] You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!
[insert age]?! I demand a recount!
Congratulations on the 10th anniversary of your [XX]th birthday! Here's to many more.
Happy birthday! And remember you're not [insert age] ...you're 18 with [XX] years' experience.
[Insert age] and still too young to plan your own surprise party!
You're 60? That's only 16 in Celsius. Happy birthday!
Deepest sympathies on your [insert age] birthday.
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A collection of funny happy birthday wishes for your mom, sister, aunt, or female friends.
The secret to staying young is make up... make up an age, then stick with it!
Happy birthday. It took you [insert age] years to look this good!
We'll be friends 'til we're old and senile... and then we'll be new friends!
Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.
~ Anna Magnani
You're the youngest [insert age] year old I know.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
You suck at ageing! Can you at least try to look older?
Those aren't gray hairs you see. They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.
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Happy birthday funny wishes for him, including great messages to wish your dad, brother, uncle, or best buddy a very happy birthday!
If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him.
Happy birthday! Don't forget to iron that birthday suit.
A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.
I don't have birthdays anymore, I level up!
Fill in the gaps: H___Y B__T____ ... nice try- HAIRY BUTTOCKS.
Happy Birthday Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you... but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.
Middle age is when your age begins to show around your middle.
~ Bob Hope
You know you're 40 when your back is hairier than your head.
What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I'll never part with it!
A man has reached middle age when he's warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
~ Henry Youngman
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Oh no! Did you forget their birthday? Apologize with one of these funny belated happy birthday messages. I'm sure it will get you back in their good books...
I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy Belated Birthday!
I'm so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn't think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!
I promise this card isn't late. It is intentionally arriving after your birth-day, because I think you deserve a whole birth-month. Happy Birth-month!
I know you think this card is a few days late. It's actually worse than that. This is your card from 2010 that I only just got around to sending. Happy Belated Birthday!
Happy Birthday! Don't think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here's wishing you a wonderful year ahead!
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Funny birthday wishes to wish your best friend a very happy birthday.
Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It's your birthday, just drink whatever's in the glass!
On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship... and all that stuff that doesn't cost anything.
Just imagine all the things you'd want to hear on your birthday ...and assume I wrote them here!
For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.
At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober.... Disappoint them.
You're older; you're wiser; you're sophisticated. Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents.
At least you're not as old as you'll be this time next year.
If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on Facebook!
A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.
You're turning the perfect age. You're old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more. Happy birthday!
The best part of being over forty is that you did most your stupid stuff before the internet.
Don't worry, they are not gray hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise.
[For over 40s:] Happy birthday! I'm so pleased to hear you're over the hill instead of under it.
By the time you're your age, you've learned everything - you only have to remember it! Many happy returns on your birthday.
I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
~ Mark Twain
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
~ John Grier
Happy 21st again!
If things get better with age, then you're approaching magnificent!
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A collection of happy birthday funny jokes you can send to your friends and family on their birthdays.
How does NASA organise a birthday party? They planet.
What kind of music is scary for birthday balloons? ...pop music!
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until the doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
I always get this warm feeling on my birthday - people won't stop toasting me.
Why did the teddy bear refuse a slice of birthday cake? He was already stuffed.
You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, "I may as well pee while I'm here."
The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.
The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.
Did you hear about the [insert age] year old who was still cool? Yeah, me neither.
Do you know why candles are always put on top of birthday cakes?
Because it's far too difficult to put them on the bottom.
You know you're old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.
You know you're old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor's office.
You know you're old when you have a party and the neighbours don't even realize.
Did you know that [insert date] is a date when no famous men or women have ever been born? .....None, only babies!
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Still looking for just the right message? Check out these pages for more funny birthday wishes and quotes:
30th B'day40th B'day50th B'day60th B'dayBirthday WishesImages QuotesWifeHusbandFriendsMomDadAuntieSisterBrotherDaughterSonBelatedBible VerseBirthday Prayers
We have prepared for you the 105 best funny birthday wishes that you can choose as card or a message to send funny happy birthday wishes.