Inspirational Quotes. If we ever meet again Don't want to change Cut off the supply Don't be scared to let go. Red flags. Clearly something wrong with them.
You're never alone in this.
I first want to say: I’m sorry. I am sorry that they made you feel less than you deserve.
You have been through so much. Some days feel empty, lost and alone. Sometimes it feels like it will never get any better.
I also want to say: I am so proud of you.
You have overcome so much, and sometimes it can feel like no one knows what you went through.
RELATED: 14 Rupi Kaur Quotes About Unrequited Love To Help Heal Your Heart
It’s okay for it to still sting sometimes. Just because it’s over doesn’t mean it still doesn’t scar. Rupi Kaur’s poetry hits home when it comes to how abuse can linger in your heart and mind.
BUT, she also knows that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
Rupi Kaur's poetry is relatable, but it’s also inspiring to know that SOMEONE has survived her own hardships, and that means you can survive it too.
These 12 Rupi Kaur quotes will remind you how you’ve overcome something that you thought you couldn’t, they will remind you how things CAN and WILL get better than they were, and you will love yourself more than they could ever love you.
If you’re looking for a little inspiration, we’ve got the best quotes to share and savor. For quotes from the most inspiring celebs, activists, and poets, look no further! You might even find the quote that motivates the best parts of your life (and love!) forever
You are a survivor.
"And here you are, living despite it all." — Rupi Kaur
It was never your fault.
"You pinned my legs to the ground with your feet and demanded I stand up." — Rupi Kaur
You are a fire.
"I will never understand why you held me if you were afraid of my warmth. You should have known I was a fire." — Rupi Kaur
Move with your heart.
"Accept that you deserve more than painful love, life is moving, the healthiest thing for your heart is to move with it." — Rupi Kaur
They act like ghosts.
"They leave and act like it never happened, they come back and act like they never left." — Rupi Kaur
"I didn't leave because I stopped loving you, I left because the longer I stayed the less I loved myself." — Rupi Kaur
Your healing is not in them.
"Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you." — Rupi Kaur
They are too late.
"Sometimes the apology never comes when it is wanted and when it comes it is neither wanted nor needed. You are too late." — Rupi Kaur
You do not lack anything.
"You are in the habit of co-depending on people to make up for what you think you lack. Who tricked you into believing another person was meant to complete you when the most they can do is complement." — Rupi Kaur
This breaking is not love.
"Neither of us is happy, neither of us wants to leave so we keep breaking one another and calling it love." — Rupi Kaur
You are more than furniture.
"You are the Ikea furniture be never got around to making. The backup bookshelf that is too new to throw away but not nearly tempting to open. He keeps you around just in case." — Rupi Kaur
"You leave but you don't stay gone, why do you do that, why do you abandon the thing you want to keep. why fo you linger in a place you fo not want to stay. Why do you think it's okay to do both. Go and return all at once." — Rupi Kaur
Sticks and stones won't break my bones” – and words won't leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm.
We hear the term emotional abuse tossed about quite a bit these days. So, lest we make it a dumping ground for every negative emotional encounter, we must get clear on what is and is not emotional abuse.
First, let’s talk about what emotional abuse is not. It is not emotionally abusive to break up with a partner. It is not emotionally abusive to argue with your partner. It is not emotionally abusive when someone reacts to what you have done with hurt. People react out of their own perceptions, so their reactions do not define your behavior. It is also not emotional abuse to speak one’s mind with blunt honesty. Perhaps the statement lacks tact, but it is not emotionally abusive. Again, just because someone reacts to what has been said with hurt does not mean that one has been emotionally abused.
It is not emotionally abusive to yell at your partner — this is one that quite often gets blurry. So let’s stop and talk about it for a moment. Everyone yells sometimes. Everyone. Frankly, I would be more concerned about someone who could not ever let himself yell than I am about someone who sometimes raises his voice to higher and louder octaves in order to express his emotions. So something that everyone does cannot be considered to be emotionally abusive. Now screaming at someone hysterically in an emotional verbal assault is considered to be emotional abuse. Yelling as the first and only response might also ultimately be called emotionally abusive as well. But when a husband and wife, or parent and child, occasionally yell at each other, this is just a normal expression of emotion. Once the emotion has been expressed, it probably would be a good idea to sit down and talk it out to find a solution to the problem.
Emotional abuse is an attempt to control, in just the same way that physical abuse is an attempt to control another person. The only difference is that the emotional abuser does not use physical hitting, kicking, pinching, grabbing, pushing, or other physical forms of harm. Rather the perpetrator of emotional abuse uses emotion as his/her weapon of choice.
Commonly, the perpetrator of emotional abuse does not know that she is being abusive. Rather, she may be aware that she feels insecure about whether or not her partner loves her, so she feels compelled to accuse him of cheating, blame him for her unhappiness, or constantly check his voice and text messages, etc. The accusations, the blame, and the constant checking up are forms of emotional abuse.
He may think that he knows what’s best for his partner or what looks correct to the outside world, so he is constantly trying to control her every move, criticizing her harshly when she doesn’t do it his way or threatening her when she seems to go outside the lines. He may verbally attack her when she argues with him because her arguing is convincing evidence to him that he is not in control of her. He may criticize her talking, her walking, her dressing, her interactions with others, her style of living and coping in order to gain and keep control over her.
For example: Mary constantly criticizes Tim in hopes that by putting him down, she will be able to control his behavior. She belittles him when they are alone, and she puts him down in front of others. When he tries to speak up for himself or call her on her behavior, she attempts to make him feel like he is crazy, like everyone knows he’s crazy, and no one would ever take him seriously (AKA gaslighting). She blames him for her unhappiness frequently, holding him responsible for how she feels. She takes little to no responsibility for her own choices and behavior. She uses a double-standard when it comes to her own behavior, not holding herself accountable when she does the same exact things for which she criticizes him. She calls him stupid, inept, dumb, and other like names frequently. When he speaks to her relatives or friends, she rolls her eyes in an attempt to manipulate them into disrespecting him. She frequently treats him with disdain and even disgust. She threatens to leave him or to stop speaking to him frequently. And she refuses to show him affection, giving affection only when he does exactly what she wants. She is especially cold, even nonverbal, when she is mad at him. Sometimes she goes days or even weeks without speaking to him. Mary also goes to other family members and friends of Tim’s to talk to them about Tim, thus isolating Tim from those who would be supportive and could let him know that he is being abused. Mary is showing a distinct pattern of emotional abuse that comes at Tim from several different directions:
1. Constant criticism or attempts to manipulate and control
2. Shaming and blaming with hostile sarcasm or outright verbal assault
3. The use of shaming and belittling language
4. Verbal abuse — name-calling
5. Withholding affection as punishment
6. Punishment and threats of punishment
7. Refusal to accept her part in the dynamic
8. Mind games, such as gaslighting, when it comes to accepting personal responsibility for her own happiness
9. Refusing to communicate at all
10. Isolating him from supportive friends and family
The emotional abuse cycle follows the same pattern as that of physical abuse — once the victim of emotional abuse figures out what’s going on and starts thinking about leaving or seriously calls the abuser on his actions, the abuser will suddenly become very apologetic and romantic, trying to woo her back into the fold. He will buy flowers, cook suppers, tend to the children, or whatever else he has to do to make her believe that what she thinks she saw, what she believes to be true, is actually false. No, he is a perfectly good husband or partner, and there is absolutely no reason for her to be thinking about leaving. But as soon as she comes back around and begins to trust that he will no longer emotionally abuse her, he starts back up with the same old abusive patterns. Now, it is harder for her to leave, because she has begun to believe in him again.
Emotional abuse is a painful and serious pattern of abuse in which the primary effort is to control someone by playing with their emotions. We dumb down the implications of emotional abuse by mislabeling minor interactional issues as emotional abuse.
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The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal.
– Astrid Alauda
A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn’t want for her daughter, nor allow any man to treat her in a way she could scold her son for.
There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.
Being single is better than being lied to, cheated on and disrespected.
Emotional abuse is the leading reason of suicide victims.
Sometimes we survive by forgetting.
Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is brave even if you stumble a little on your way out the door.
Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Very often, it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache.
– Iyanla Vanzant
When someone isn’t treating you right, no matter how much you love them, you’ve got to love yourself more and walk away.
Emotional abuse is the silent marriage killer.
I used to be a happy person who had plans and dreams. The emotional and verbal abuse wore me down. I felt exhausted, numb and disoriented about who I was. I stopped thinking and believing for myself. I lost hope for a better life.
He’s constantly putting me down, labeling me, mocking or making fun of me. It’s his way of staying in control.
Poisonous relationships can alter our perception. You can spend many years thinking you’re worthless… but you’re not worthless, you’re unappreciated.
The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious.
A house where a woman is unsafe is not a home.
It’s hard to look for the light when your lost in darkness.
Sometimes just thinking about something is enough to hurt you all over again.
Psychological invalidation is one of the most lethal forms of emotional abuse. It kills confidence, creativity and individuality.
Bruises heal, but you don’t forget words and emotions, how an abuser makes you feel about yourself.
A healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down. It inspires to be better.
Don’t judge yourself by what others did to you.
No one deserves to be treated like trash, especially not by the person you love.
I was a happy, confident, outgoing person once.
Not all wounds are visible.
He didn’t have to hit me to leave a scar.
Peace is not just mere absence of violence
Get out now! Abuse only gets worse over time. No one deserves to be treated like dirt. No one.
He makes me feel ugly, stupid, small. Like I don’t matter, won’t amount to anything, or like I’m not worthy of being loved.
Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.
– Danielle Bernock
Domestic abuse happens only in intimate, interdependent, long-term relationships – in other words, in families – the last place we would want or expect to find violence.
– Leslie Morgan Steiner
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Pin by Katie Wyton on Quotes | Narcissistic abuse recovery 486c6155 Recovery from Emotionally Abusive Relationships.
1. Sticks and stones won’t break my bones” – and words won’t leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash.
Being told you are “stupid”, “ugly”, “lazy” or “worthless” is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you “may get used to” hearing it from a partner. That’s when you start to internalise and believe it. When that happens you are doing the other person’s work of putting you down for them. This is why your feelings of self-worth suffer increasingly over time.
The good news is that just as words have been used to bring you down, you can learn to harness the power of words to build you up and restore your confidence and belief in yourself.
2. You are always told that it’s your fault. Somehow, whatever happens, however it starts, the ultimate blame is always yours. Notice that we are talking ultimate blame here. The blaming partner will always tell you that their behaviour was caused by what you said or did. In fact, their argument runs along the lines that you can’t possibly blame them for anything, because if you hadn’t said what you said, or done what you did it would never have happened.
3. You’re more inclined to believe your partner than you are to believe yourself. Have you ever reeled with a sense of hurt and injustice, or seethed with anger at the way you’ve been treated? Have you found yourself asking: “Is it reasonable to feel like this?” “Am I misinterpreting things?” “Have I got it wrong?”
If this is you, what it means is that you have become so brainwashed you’ve stopped trusting in your own judgement. Your mind keeps throwing up the observations and questions because, deep down, you know that what is happening is utterly wrong. But right now you can’t feel the strength of your own convictions.
4. You need your partner to acknowledge your feelings. Have you ever felt desperate to make your partner hear what you are saying and apologise for the hurtful things they’ve said? Have you ever felt that only they can heal the pain they’ve caused?
Does your need for them to validate your feelings keep you hooked into the relationship?
When a partner constantly denies or refuses to listen to your feelings, that is, unquestionably, mental abuse.
5. Your partner blows hot and cold. He can be very loving but is often highly critical of you. He may tell you how much he loves you, yet he is short on care or consideration towards you. In fact, some of the time, maybe even a lot of the time, he treats you as if you were someone he truly dislikes.
You do everything you can to make him happy, but it’s never good enough. You’re more like the pet dog in the relationship than you are the equal partner. Your constant efforts to get his attention and please him meet with limited success. Sometimes he’ll be charmed, often he’s dismissive.
If you find yourself puzzling about how your partner can treat you that way, it is because you are trying to live in a love-based relationship, when in reality you are living in a control-based relationship. The mental abuser struggles with his own feelings of worthlessness and uses his relationship to create a feeling of personal power, at his partner’s expense.
6. You feel as if you are constantly walking on eggshells. There is a real degree of fear in the relationship. You have come to dread his outbursts, the hurtful things that he will find to say to you. (Maybe the same anxiety and need to please spill over into your other relationships also.)
Fear is not part of a loving relationship, but it is a vital part of a mentally abusive relationship. It enables the abuser to maintain control over you.
7. You can heal. Mentally abusive relationships cause enormous emotional damage to the loving partner who tries, against all odds, to hold the relationship together and, ultimately, can’t do it, because her partner is working against her.
Whether you are currently in a mentally abusive relationship, have left one recently, or years later are still struggling with the anxieties and low self-worth and lack of confidence caused by mental abuse, it is never too late to heal.
But you do need to work with a person or a programme specifically geared to mental abuse recovery.
Women who have suffered mental abuse expect radical change of themselves, and they expect it right away. This is why they often struggle and, not uncommonly, take up with another abusive partner.
Mental abuse recovery is a gradual process. Low self-worth and limiting beliefs about what kind of future the abuse sufferer can ever hope for are the blocks that can stop women from moving on. But they are blocks that you can clear very effectively. Just as language was once used to harm you, you can now learn how language can heal you. You can overcome past mental abuse and keep yourself safe from it in the future. You can also learn to feel strong, believe in yourself and create the life and the relationships you truly want.
“The Woman You Want To Be” is a unique workbook designed to accompany you on a year long journey into emotional health and happiness.
(C) 2005 Annie Kaszina
Annie Kaszina Ph D, is a coach and writer who has helped hundreds of women to rebuild their confidence and their life after an abusive relationship. Annie is the author of "The Woman You Want To Be". This ebook will teach you how you can love yourself first, so that you can create strong self-belief and build the fulfilling future you're looking for on firm foundations.
To find out more and sign up to Annie's free bi-monthly ezine visit http://www.EmotionalAbuseRecoveryNow.com You can email Annie at: [email protected]
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