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Funny word of wisdom
March 07, 2019 Anniversary Wishes For Parents 2 comments

Oct 6, 2019- Explore carterk5734's board "Funny! Words of Wisdom" on Pinterest. See more ideas about Letter board, Message board and Quote board.

It’s winter. The weather is cold and the days are short. And it will be a while before the next holiday comes around. (Memorial Day seems so far away!)

So if you’re possibly in the need of a little pick-me-up, please enjoy these funny quotes about work. Laughter really is good medicine. It can make even the hardest work day a little bit easier.

 

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams

 

“The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.” ― Casey Stengel

 

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
― Charles Lamb

 

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings.”
― Dave Barry

 

“Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.”
― Tina Fey

 

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”
― Edgar Bergen

 

“There go my people. I must find out where they are going so I can lead them.”
― Alexandre Ledru-Rollin

 

“We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third.”
― Leslie Knope

 

“Leadership is your ability to hide your panic from others.” ― Laozi

 

“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.”
― Henny Youngman

 

“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.”
― Homer Simpson

 

Funny words of wisdom and funny inspirational quotes about life spread a smile on our face while opening the doors straight to the heart. There is nothing like.

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funny word of wisdom

Wisdom is the invisible gift that makes our lives better on planet earth.

Elders in the African system (for the most part) are respected not just for their grey hairs but most importantly the cost and worth of those grey hairs. They are a symbol of experience and lessons learnt. Basically the elderly have seen it all and been through it all.

On the other hand, life is a ride we must learn to enjoy whether it is smooth or bumpy. Through the thick and thin, it is the cheerful spirit that inspires us to never give up.

Have you ever had an experience in the past that left you feeling humiliated, tensed or even silly; only to remember them years later with uncontrollable laughter.

So the essence of this article is to beat nature. If you will eventually find this turbulent and confusing moment hilarious someday why not do so now.

Education is complete and most effective when it’s fun and enjoyable. It is the sugar that helps the medicine go down.

So here you have it, funny wisdom quotes that will delight and educate you:

1. Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone – Anthony Burgess.

2. A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple – John Florio

3. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired – Jules Renard. 

4. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city – George Burns. 

5. Blessed is he that can laugh at himself, he will never cease to be amused – Unknown.

6. My life needs editing – Mort Sahl.

7. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive – Elbert Hubbard.

8. Creditors have better memories than debtors – Ben Franklin.

9. I can’t be out of money, I still have checks left – Unknown.

10. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else –  Will Rogers.

11. He that drinks beer, thinks beer – Washington Irving.

12. In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on – Robert Frost.

13. He who dies with the most toys is still dead – Unknown. 

14. To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone – Reba McEntire.

15. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday – Don Marquis.

16. The trouble with the rat-race is that, even if you win, you’re still a rat – Lily Tomlin(American comedienne).

17. Cheer up! Remember the less you have, the more there is to get – Unknown.

18. If “ifs” and “ands” were pots and pans, there’d be no work for tinkers’ hands – Charles Kingsley.

19. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away – Cassandra Chatfield.

20. Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong? – Jane Austen. 

21. There are 2 kinds of people in the world; those who with positive outlook who jump out of bed in the morning and say, “Good morning Lord!” and those who pull the sheets over their heads and moan “Good Lord is morning!”.

22. Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability – George Bernard Shaw. 

23. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party – Ron White.

24. To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable – Oscar Wilde.

See Also: 100+ African Proverbs and Meanings You Didn’t Know

25. In God we trust; all others pay cash – American (on money).

30. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape – Anon.

31. If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise, they’ll kill you – Oscar Wilde. 

32. A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the better lawyer – Robert Frost.

33. It is better to swallow words than to have to eat them later – Franklin Roosevelt.

34. Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave – Wilson Mizner.

35. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself – Eleanor Roosevelt. 

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Our Favorite Funny Quotes and Words of Wisdom

funny word of wisdom

These funny quotes also shed light on more than a little bit of the truth in the form of witty wisdom. Famous writers and philosophers often express life's irony wrapped up as comedy and humor helps to drive the point home.

Wit and Wisdom Quotes

  • "If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed." -Lily Tomlin
  • "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." -Erica Jong
  • "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." -Jack Handey
  • "I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!" -Tom Lehrer
  • "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." -Mark Twain
  • "A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of." -Burt Bacharach
  • "A signature always reveals a man's character—and sometimes even his name." -Evan Esar
  • "If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names." -Elbert Hubbard
  • "He who believes that the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs." -Torvald Gahlin
  • "I guess a drag queen’s like an oil painting: You gotta stand back from it to get the full effect." -Harvey Fierstein
  • "Jealousy is all the fun you think they had." -Erica Jong
  • "If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?" -Tom Snyder
  • "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!" -Yogi Berra
  • "Instead of holding on to the Biblical view that we are made in the image of God, we come to realize that we are made in the image of the monkey." -Lin Yutang
  • "In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular." -Kathleen Norris
  • "I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown, which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
  • "People are too durable, that's their main trouble. They can do too much to themselves, they last too long." -Bertolt Brecht
  • "Don’t look back, something might be gaining on you." -Satchel Paige
  • "In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction." -Bill Flavin
  • "If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers." -Doug Larson

Great Words of Wisdom right here on Everyday Power Blog. This funny motivational quote by Vaszily succinctly describes how we are the biggest enemies of.

Best Words of Wisdom Quotes

funny word of wisdom

Cause and Effect

These are sayings that start with an "if" and finish with something totally off-the-wall. They may not offer a real solution, but at least they offer a chuckle.

  • If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
  • If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a water gun and shoot other people in the eyes.
  • If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!
  • If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
  • If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
  • If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  • If you eat a live toad in the morning, then nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
  • If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  • If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

Never Do This

These are good things to remember never to do. Most of them are quite logical and all of them are funny.

  • Never buy a car you can't push.
  • Never pet a burning dog.
  • Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
  • Never eat yellow snow.
  • Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Did You Ever Wonder??

These funny words to live by make you go, "Huh?" Sometimes, however, there is a spark of wisdom in the foolishness.

  • What is another word for 'thesaurus'?
  • The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven't thought of yet. - Ann Landers
  • If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
  • The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
  • What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
  • Is there another word for 'synonym'?
  • Is it possible to be totally partial?

Funny Words to Live By

These are some really funny words to live by that are in a class of their own. They cover many different situations and usually make a good point.

  • Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
  • Virtue is insufficient temptation. - George Bernard Shaw
  • Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
  • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  • Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
  • My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
  • Cooking lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.
  • Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
  • When you eat a candy bar or have a wonderful dessert, have a diet drink. The calories are cancelled out by the diet drink.

Wisdom of Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx was a brilliant comedian and had a philosophy all his own. But, as is true of many jokes and funny sayings, while you are laughing at them, you shake your head and say, "Yeah, that's the way it is, alright." Enjoy the following gems that show the genius of Groucho.

  • I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
  • Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
  • No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
  • The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
  • Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

See more funny puns:

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WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: Words of Wisdom Quotes - Top 10 Wisdom Quotes about life

HUMOROUS ~. Compiled by Peter Shepherd. “The only stupid question is the one that goes unasked.” “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems .

funny word of wisdom
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