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Funny wedding poem toast

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Funny wedding poem toast
February 25, 2019 Anniversary Wishes For Parents No comments

Keep the room laughing with these funny quotes and toast ideas! From witty one- liners to risque anecdotes, this list has it all!.

Funny toasts for a wedding go a long way in keeping the reception upbeat and lively. Take the task seriously though, with plenty of forethought and planning. You can tailor any funny wedding toast examples to create an appropriate toast to the bridal couple.

Personalized Sentiments

Strive to make your wedding toast funny and upbeat, but make sure it's specific to the couple. Before deciding on your toast's style, check out a variety of sample wedding toasts to find the best one for you.

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Shared Experiences

The couple will enjoy revisiting funny memories in your toast to them. Remember a time when something funny happened with you and the couple (or you and the groom, or you and the bride), and turn it into a metaphor for a happy marriage.


I want to take you all back to several years ago when we took a wild road trip to Colorado. It took two days longer than we anticipated and we had not one, but two flat tires. When we finally got to Colorado we all realized that skiing wasn't nearly as easy as we thought it would be. Who knew that flying down a mountain with two sticks stuck to your feet could be hard? But the important thing here is that we all had a great time, even when things got bumpy. Even when Jerry broke his foot. Even when the lodge ran out of hot chocolate. It didn't matter. Please raise your glasses to a couple who will endure the flat tires, the difficult tasks, the broken bones, and even hot chocolate shortages, all in the spirit of love.

Applauding Love

Weddings are all about the love between two people. Capitalize upon the love and affection between the bride and groom within your toast while keeping the mood light and funny.


Love makes people do strange things. In this instance, love made two people get all dressed up, walk slowly down an aisle and repeat whatever the pastor said. I can't think of any other time these two would do something like this, but I also can't think of a better couple to make this all look downright cool. Join me in raising a glass to the two people who make love look good.

Deadpan Drink Analogy

If you're able to deliver a deadpan performance, using an analogy about the drink you're raising compared to the happy couple can make for an unexpectedly clever toast.


I really like this champagne. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't mind spending a great deal of time with this champagne. I like the look of it, the taste of it, and I like the way the bubbles feel in my mouth. Now this is usually where James would chime in and say something like, "If you love that champagne so much, why don't you marry it?" And I would normally have a clever response like, "Well, if you love Amy so much why don't you marry her?" But... (gestures to couple, already married). I raise my glass to James and Amy, who always seem to be one step ahead of my suggestions.

Short Funny Wedding Toast Quotes

If you're not giving the main toast, or if you just want to keep your sentiments short and sweet, consider one of these quick, funny toasts.

  • Men may be from Mars and women may be from Venus, but you two are so in love it astounds the entire universe.
  • Marriage is a sacred bond between two people, and let me be clear...I said "sacred," not "scared."
  • I don't get all dressed up for just anyone, but when two people who are so in love tell me to put on my fancy clothes, this is what happens.
  • Congratulations to you three: Steve, Mary, and the big mound of debt you've incurred with this wedding reception.
  • I have one piece of advice for you two lovebirds: never stop laughing, even when the jokes are lame.
  • I never thought our bromance could be upstaged, but I humbly bow to the lovely bride who captured his heart.
  • Shakespeare said, "My heart is ever at your service." I say, "Eat candy hearts and order room service."
  • May your marriage be so solid it could last through being on a reality show.
  • You two remind me of the classic couples. Romeo and Juliet. Homer and Marge. Gomez and Morticia.
  • They say love is blind, but I don't know if I believe that. Everyone within a twenty mile radius of you two can clearly see ridiculous amounts of love between the two of you.

Great Wedding Toast Writing Tips

Keep these tips in mind when composing your toast:

  • Be funny, but don't clown around. It's fine to allow your humorous side to show; it's likely the bride and groom asked you to take on this important role because they knew would would bring some levity to your toast. But don't allow it to turn into a stand-up routine or a silly moment.
  • Run your ideas past a friend beforehand. Sometimes things sound really humourous in your head, but then when they're said aloud they fall flat or border on offensive.
  • Remember your audience. A long list of private jokes between you and the groom will leave the bride feeling excluded, not to mention all the other people in attendance who will feel left out.
  • Stay away from anything that might be insulting to the couple. Something you might think is funny - yet is somewhat insulting to either the bride or groom (or anyone else) - may be perceived as being in poor taste. This is certainly not the time to bring up ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends, and is especially is not the time to bring up prior marriages.

You should also allow for ample practice by getting your toast written as early as possible. Nervousness is likely going to be a factor no matter how comfortable you are being in front of people. Practice will help ease your nerves and help you deliver the toast.

For the Couple

The wedding toast isn't about you or how funny you can be; rather, it's for the wedded couple. Whether you're the maid of honor, the best man, or someone else tasked to deliver a toast, write and deliver a toast that they will appreciate and that will make them laugh without making it turn into a schtick monologue.

from real weddings, we have lots of of unique and funny wedding vows for Romantic Quotes Wedding Vows Toast love poem anniversary.

51 Best Man jokes for a speech to win over any wedding crowd

funny wedding poem toast

Wedding Toast

Find tips, examples, quotes and samples on how to say, write and express your congratulations during your wedding toast to the newlyweds. Anxiety usually sets in when we sit down to write a wedding toast as we are unsure how it will come across in front of a large audience.  This is usually why it is so hard to find the appropriate words that share your wishes to the bride and groom in front of all their family and friends.


7 Tips to Help You Write Your Own Wedding Toast:

1.   Start off by introducing yourself and how you know the couple.

2.   Mention how much you enjoyed the ceremony, if you were touched by their vows or the elegance of the ceremony or even the uniqueness of the ceremony.  Make some special comment on the proceedings.

3.   Make a positive comment about the bride and grooms relationship.  How special they are to have found each other or what a great couple they are.  A memory you have of the couple could always be told here too.

4.   You could always insert a joke if you are a comedian but make sure it is respectful of the couple.  Toasts should always be a warm and personal tribute to the couple so keep it clean, sweet and brief.

5.   A quote or poem could always be read on their behalf.

6.   End on cheerful note by congratulating them or wishing them well.  Express your hopes for them in the future.

7.   Hopefully you’ve remembered a glass to cheer to them!  You can say to the bride and groom or use their names instead of bride and groom and then Cheers!

10 Wedding Toast Etiquette tips:

  1. Don’t give a toast when you are drunk.

  2. Make sure what you say and short and sweet.

  3. Never bring up past relationships.

  4. Make sure you look presentable before going up in front of all those people.

  5. Don’t release any future plans the couple may have confided to you and don’t predict they are going to be doing things in the future that you are not sure about. 

  6. Keep costs and wedding gifts out of the toast.

  7. Avoid talking about your own marriage unless you have a positive and helpful tip for them.  ie. to cherish and love each other from now and forever.

  8. Always practice your speech before hand and let someone else read it to make sure if sounds alright.

  9. Be confident

  10. Smile - be friendly. 

It is always easier to write a toast when you have an example to take a look at first.  We have written a toast for your convenience hoping that it will give you inspiration to assist you to write your own toast.  Giving a toast or speech at a wedding is a nice way to express your congratulations. 



27 Wedding Toast Examples:

  1. Hello,

My name is Jane Doe and I have been a close friend of the bride and grooms for about 5 years now.  I am also lucky to be Donna’s maid of honor.  I would first of all like to say to the bride and groom how beautiful it was to hear them vow their love to each other.  It was a beautiful ceremony to say the least. 


Donna and Chris have been together for almost as long as I have known them.  They have always shown love and affection for each other through this time and I have never thought they were anything but perfect for each other.


I have a short poem that I feel best describes this day.  “Today is a day you will always remember- the greatest in anyone's life. You'll start off the day just two people in love and end it as husband and wife.  And with luck, all your hopes, and your dreams can be real, may success find its way to your hearts.   Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys, but today is the day it all starts."


Congratulations Donna and Chris and I wish you all the love in the world.  Let raise our glasses and toast to the newlyweds Donna and Chris.  Cheers!


Love you guys!



After looking over this example toast, if you are still having trouble finding the right words, feel free to use this sample toast, make a few changes in order to make it your own. What a nice way to tell the newly married couple how happy you are for them! Here are some more ways of sharing your congratulations:


  1. May this be the start of something amazing!
    Retirement Sayings

  2. When two people fall in love and promise to love each other forever and ever... // ...the only real thing to say is, May you live happily ever after.
    Wedding Card Messages

  3. Loads of happiness, love and laughter being sent your way.

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Funny Wedding Readings for 2019

funny wedding poem toast

Gaelic Matters > Irish Wedding Toasts

Irish Wedding Toasts and Wishes

Because my Irish Wedding toasts and Wishes list is growing fast, I have decided to give them their own page. These free wedding toasts below should help you strike the right note on the big day.

But if you don't find what you are looking for here, have a look at our Irish Wedding Blessings and our main Toasts page as well as the Pages related to Irish Wedding Toast Page.

You really should also visit our Irish Love Poems and Irish Wedding Poems pages for poetry, verse and songs of love, many translated from Gaelic.

Wedding Toasts

Health to the men and may the women live forever

Sláinte chuig na fir, agus go mairfidh na mná go deo.
(Pronounced Slaw-in-cheh chwig nah fir, og-uss guh mir-hig nah mnawh guh jo)

Health during your life,
A wife of your choice to you,
Land without rent to you,
A child every year to you,
And the light of heaven after this world for you.

Sláinte go saol agat,
Bean ar do mhian agat
Talamh gan chíos agat
Leanbh gach bliain agat,
Is solas na bhflaitheas tar éis an tsaoil seo agat.

There's no cure for love except to marry.

Níl aon leigheas ar an ngrá ach pósadh.
(Pronounced Neel ane lie-ass er on nraw awch(k) poe-sah

May you be poor in misfortune,
Rich in blessings,
Slow to make enemies,
Quick to make friends,
But rich or poor, quick or slow,
May you know nothing but
Happiness from this day forward.

Here's to you both, a beautiful pair
On the birthday of your love affair
Here's to the husband and here's to the wife
May yourselves be lovers for the rest of your life

May you always have money in your pocket
a woman to love
and a smile on your face.

May all your troubles be little ones
and all your little ones be trouble free.

Here's to you and yours and mine and ours,
And if mine and ours ever come across you and yours,
I hope you and yours will do as much for mine and ours,
As mine and ours have done for you and yours. 

If you lie, may you lie only to keep a friend
If you cheat, may you cheat only death
If you steal, may you steal your lover's heart
If you drink, may you drink deeply of the joy of your new life together.

May all your ups and downs be under the sheets.

(I think that this may be a fairly modern Irish Wedding saying and one I would be very careful about using. Don't want to cause offence!

Good luck to you both

Go n-eirí an t-ádh libh
(Pronounced Guh nye-ree on taw liv)
May you live all the days of your life.
— Jonathan Swift

May you live and may you wear it out

Go mairir is go gcathair
(Pronounced Guh mah-rir is guh gaw-hir)

May you enjoy your new life.

Go maire sibh bhur saol nua.
(Pronounced Guh mah-reh shiv voor say-ol nu-ah)

May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies and quick to make friends. And may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.

May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.

May there always be work for your hands to do,
May your purse always hold a coin or two,
May the sun always shine warm on your windowpane,
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain,
May the hand of a friend always be near you,
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day

May a mouse never leave your meal bag with a tear in its eye!

Love is blind but marriage restores eyesight!

May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my Grandmother's teeth

May you have warm words on a cold evening,
A full moon on a dark night,
And the road downhill all the way to your door
May you live as long as you want,
And never want as long as you live.

A man's best friend is his mother until he meets his wife.

May the roof above you never fall in,
And those gathered beneath it never fall out.

May you be poor in misfortune,
rich in blessings,
slow to make enemies,
quick to make friends.
But rich or poor, quick or slow,
may you know nothing but happiness
from this day forward.

May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.

Pages Related to Irish Wedding Toasts

Find out about Irish wedding customs and traditions and visit our wedding superstitions page for some far-fetched beliefs.

Irish Wedding Blessings

Irish Sayings about Love, Weddings and Marriage

On the main Irish Toasts Page and Irish Blessings Page you may find other toasts and blessings suitable for weddings too. There are few strict guidelines in using either. The important things is to communicate the right message in the right tone.

Find out about the best Irish whiskey brands and a little of the history of 'uisce beatha'

Gaelic Matters > Irish Wedding Toasts

Weddings are funny things. Among other strange traditions, we give drunk people microphones and ask them to say nice things about us.

Funny Wedding Toast Quotes to Make Your Speech a Hit

funny wedding poem toast

Updated: June 8, 2019 /Home » Quotes [ Lesson for Life ]

The best ideas or gifts for a wedding ceremony or wedding anniversary is none other than a good toast, as the saying goes, “Words are powerful. They can create or they can destroy, so choose your words wisely.” For those that regret marrying their ex-spouse, remember that the most dangerous cake in the world is the wedding cake, not to mention it is the most expensive cake too.

Alternative Article ➤ 58 Romantic Quotes about Love Life, Marriage and Relationships

Without further ado, make your guests happy-cry with these sweet wedding vows with these 30 lovely romantic quotes and wedding vows for an inspiring toast or speech for your beautiful wedding and wedding anniversary. These short and simple quotes will melt the hearts of the listener. If you want to borrow some inspiration for wedding vows from real weddings, we have lots of of unique and funny wedding vows for him and her. These inspiring posters are tailored for your Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook and Tweeter, these images fits perfectly when shared, do share them.

Marriage is a three-ring circus. First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and lastly suffering.

I’ve been looking for you since I heard my first fairytale.

If love was a storybook, we’d meet on the very first page.

When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.

I have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and I choose both.

All of me loves all of you.

It was always you.

I don’t marry someone I can live with, I marry the person I cannot live without.

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

I loved you yesterday, I love you still, I always have and I always will.

I have found the one whom my soul loves.

Like wine, love gets better with age.

I still fall for you everyday.

You will forever be my always.

You are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars.

All that you are is all that I’ll ever need.

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

You are my greatest adventure.

I have found the one whom my soul loves.

If I know what love is, it is because of you.

The only magic I still believe in is love.

I love you for all that you are, all that you have been and all you’re yet to be.

If I had my life to do over, I would find you sooner so I could love you longer.

I can conquer the world with one hand, as long as you’re holding the other.

Two souls but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.

The first time I saw you, my heart whispered, “that’s the one.”

I like your last name. We should share it.

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to leave without you.

From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter, and my arms will be your home.

Did you know the wedding ring goes on the ring finger, because it’s the only finger with a vein connects to the heart.

I can’t promise to solve all your problems, but I can promise you won’t have to face them alone.

I saw that you were perfect and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you.

You are my greatest adventure.

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.

My heart is perfect because you are inside.

“There’s only one thing I want to change about you” He said, “Your last name.”

I loved you yesterday, I loved you still, always have and always will.

You want your wedding toast to be memorable, flattering, and make the bride or groom laugh. Use these funny wedding toast quotes to add life.

funny wedding poem toast
Written by Kakinos
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