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Birthday wishes that are funny

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Birthday wishes that are funny
July 06, 2019 Anniversary Wishes For Parents 1 comment

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48 Funny Birthday Quotes, Sayings, and Greetings

Updated on September 23, 2019

Happy birthday to you if yours is today. I know you're old . . . but try to smile. Enjoy!

  1. You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.
  2. When I have a birthday, I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
  3. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
  4. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
  5. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  6. When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
  7. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
  8. With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
  9. The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
  10. I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
  11. You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
  12. You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar . . . Yung No Mo.
  13. I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!
  14. You’re not 40, you’re 18 . . . with 22 years of experience!
  15. Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
  16. You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!
  17. Old enough to know better, young enough to still do it.
  18. Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.
  19. I’m just here for the cake.
  20. If you want to look young and thin on your birthday . . . then hang around a bunch of old, fat people.
  21. Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday . . . and assume I said them. Happy birthday!
  22. There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
  23. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never remembers her age.
  24. Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
  25. Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, "Happy Birthday."
  26. Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
  27. Looking 50 is great . . . if you’re 60.
  28. Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.
  29. So far, this is the oldest I have ever been.
  30. It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.
  31. Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit . . . but check it for wrinkles first!
  32. You’re so old that when you looked at your birth certificate, it said expired.
  33. People say that the good die young, so I guess that make you an old badass!
  34. It’s proven that at the age of 41, you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!
  35. Another year, another new place that aches.
  36. It's okay to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.
  37. An old fart is as good as a new one.
  38. Don't think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.
  39. The younger you try to look, the older you actually are.
  40. Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.
  41. May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.
  42. Wishing you many more candles and a cake big enough to fit them all on.
  43. You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by "for your age."
  44. Don't forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.
  45. The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
  46. No wise man ever wished to be younger.
  47. Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
  48. When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui, and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.

Happy birthday to you and yours!

50+ funny birthday wishes to make that special someone laugh on their birthday. Laughter is the best gift!.

69 Funny Birthday Card Messages, Wishes & Quotes

birthday wishes that are funny

Within the limits of human affection, teasing someone for his or her birthday is quite common. Avoiding any jokes that could hurt the other person’s feelings is not always an easy job, though. This is where our collection of Funny Birthday Wishes comes in. Choosing the right wish for the right beloved person of yours will make them crack and smile and your choice will be appreciated.

There is something for everybody, here: funny birthday messages for friends, family or loved ones are waiting to inspire you and, first of all, make you laugh. Read, choose & share – and you can be sure that a truly funny moment is a real gift in our everyday lives. Why not give it to the ones you love? Somebody’s special day is going to be brighter.


Funny Birthday Wishes for your Friends

  • Congratulations! You’re the only person that I don’t need a Facebook reminder to remember their birthday.
  • It’s your birthday! To celebrate, let’s grab a bottle of wine and go skinny dipping in our birthday suits. Oh wait…that’s a typical Friday night.
  • Happy Birthday! I love having you as a best friend. I get all the benefits of having a sister without having to share your crazy relatives.
  • Happy Birthday, Bestie. As your gift, I will continue being the friend your parents wish you never had.
  • I’ve stayed in touch all these years because you’re the only one that can handle my excessive displays of sarcasm.
  • Congrats on becoming a year older. Wishing you lots of love and hair dye to wash away the new gray hairs. Enjoy your birthday!
  • Dear Friend. Have you ever wondered why I’ve kept you around for so long? You know too many of my secrets. Happy Birthday!
  • As you reflect on your life, you’ll notice that I’ve been there through every embarrassing, happy, sad, proud, scary, and important moment in your life. Remember that the next time you’re mad at me…because I forgot your birthday gift.

Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.


  • Remember that age is just a number. Well, until you hit 60. Then you’re just really freaking old! Happy Birthday!
  • Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake. Happy birthday.
  • Warm wishes on your birthday! I didn’t bring a gift, though. I figured it’s payback for all the trouble you’ve gotten me into all these years.
  • Happy Birthday! Here’s to me being the wild chick that drove all of your “goody two shoe” friends away.
  • Happy Birthday to my best friend. You’re the only person I can tolerate for more than an hour.
  • I love you, friend! I’m happy it’s your birthday, but I can’t help admitting that I came mostly for the alcohol.
  • You’re getting old but look on the bright side…at least you have a friend like me to keep you hip and trendy. Have a happy birthday!
  • I’ll always be the friend that get you out of the trouble that I got you into. Happy Birthday your my partner in crime.
  • It’s your birthday so I’ll volunteer to be the designated driver…for once!
  • Huge list of funny Birthday Messages and wishes
  • You should feel special. I don’t need a calendar reminder to remember your birthday! Enjoy your special day.
  • Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
  • Happy Birthday, friend! I hope we live long enough to be nursing home roomies.
  • Dear Friend. I’m still waiting until the day we become mature adults having intellectually stimulating conversations about grown up things. Until then, we’ll just stick to being 30-year-old clowns.

Happy Birthday, Bestie.


  • Happy birthday from the only person who knows your true age. Your secret’s safe with me!
  • You may be getting older but that doesn’t mean you have to grow up. Have a fantastic birthday.
  • I put on a smile just for you. But the truth is…I hate birthdays! It just reminds me of how old we’re getting.
  • Happy Birthday from the friend that taught you everything you know about life. Sorry about the misinformation.
  • You are a gorgeous birthday girl! Almost as gorgeous as your best friend! Happy Birthday to you!
  • Congratulations on your fifth 25th birthday! Love always, your awesome friend!
  • The first two things I thought about when I realized it was your birthday was cake and alcohol. Does that make me a bad friend?
  • Another year older? No way. You’re another year sexier. Happy birthday to you.
  • I am so happy that you have managed to make it to this age without too many scars. Let’s add one huge one tonight! Happy Birthday!
  • Honesty is the key to any relationship, for that reason I want you to know, you really need to pluck your eyebrows before we go out tonight. Happy Birthday!
  • I cant believe how old we are getting! Let’s do something we could only get away with we were teenagers. Let’s stay up until 5 am and get out of bed at 4 pm to pizza for breakfast. If might be the last night you ever have, but it will be a great way to go out with a bang. Happy Birthday!
  • Why is it always harder to buy presents for a guy? It might be something to do with the fact that no matter what you get a guy, it’s never going to be better than his Playstation. Happy Birthday!
  • To the best friend a guy could hope for, do us all a huge favor and don’t get into any scraps tonight. Do yourself a favor and win the ones you do. Happy Birthday!
  • You always backed me up in our fights, helped me move, helped me kick my addictions, and let me know when I was in a bad relationship. Let me return the favor today, and help you pick a good club for us to celebrate in. Happy Birthday!
  • It’s not a shame that you are getting older, it’s a glorious thing to be able to say that you have had more birthdays that many people have had sex. Happy Birthday!
  • If you don’t get lucky tonight, I guess I will have to take one for the team. Happy Birthday!
  • Shall we get drunk and paint the town? Or are you old enough to be past all that now? Happy Birthday!
  • One of the many benefits of old age is that you’ll never have to die young.
  • Happy Birthday, man, you must be very rich. Look at all the expensive drinks you bought.
  • I have great admiration for old people like you. Why? You miraculously graduated school without the help of Google.
  • I love attending your birthday bashes. Can you increase your birthdays to two times a year?
  • Happy birthday, bro! But you have got to hit the gym to lose some fat.
  • I am so proud of your achievements so far. I know it wasn’t easy figuring out where to celebrate your birthday.
  • Had the Scriptures not warned us about lying, I’d have advised you to start telling lies about your real age!
  • Congratulations on existing before Google and Wikipedia.
  • You don’t have to sacrifice so much on your birthday. Just give us water to drink.
  • You have broken a record. You appear to have multiple dates of birth. Happy birth day, but stop ageing unnecessarily.
  • Birthday boy/girl, congratulations for growing very old. You did such a great a job aging that you deserve an award for that!
  • Your mom and dad did well for giving birth to you. You make the world complete with your comic character.
  • Wishing a wonderful birthday celebration to a wonderful man/woman who came into this world during the Dark Ages.
  • Celebrate this day, knowing that science has proven that celebrating too many birthdays will give you a sh*tload of wrinkles and grey hair.
  • Don’t let the fact that your hair is turning white distract you from celebrating your big day. Regardless of where you look at this from, it’s always better having gray hair than no hair at all.
  • While you celebrate this day, don’t forget to smile. We want to be sure you are happy.
  • In a matter of just two years, you have suddenly grown taller than me. Please be careful, your head might hit the sky next year.
  • I even know how to celebrate your birthday more than you. Just wait to see how I will nail the dance challenge.
  • On your birthday, I just want to tell you that I love you more than you love yourself.
  • My goodness! You can become a president if you really work hard. Look at the unbelievable crowd you have amassed for your birthday bash!
  • Don’t let the fact that you’re becoming old upset you. At least you still look younger than your grandparents.
  • Hey Dude! Happy birthday. So you think you are celebrating a birthday? Anyway, I wish you good health as you speed towards the grave.
  • I wonder what you are actually celebrating? What have you achieved since your bountiful years of existence? Ok, got it. Congratulations for having a child out of wedlock.
  • Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s give it up for [Name]! Today, he celebrates an additional year of being a senior bachelor.
  • You must be hard-hearted. So you have the guts to be celebrating a birthday when you flopped that math quiz yesterday? Happy birthday, but don’t stop learning.
  • You are not the poorest person in the world. Please take us out and let’s go party. We are tired of your selfish excuses.
  • I’m sorry I can’t attend your birthday. I have more important things to do such as sleeping and watching the Premier League soccer matches.
  • I wish your new age will open your eyes and give you wisdom. Everyone takes undue advantage of you.
  • Smile and laugh now, for pretty soon your teeth would disappear!
  • With your new age, you have become mature enough; stop being a burden to your parents. You stress them too much.
  • Sometimes I can’t help but wonder what motivates you to be celebrating your birthday. Do you really think you are that important on earth?
  • I am happy that you listened to my brotherly advice. You would have been celebrating this birthday in a prison yard with your other bad friends.
  • Don’t be over-excited on this day, you are about to graduate and face the graduate unemployment disaster in our country.
  • It’s now two years since you graduated from the university with a first class degree in sociology. Today, you are still proudly celebrating a jobless birthday. Sorry, I share your frustration.
  • Birthday man, you are too silent today. Is everything alright? Stop worrying about the large number of people who gatecrashed this occasion. I will help you sort out the bills.
  • Time might be a great healer, but sadly it’s the worst beautician I’ve ever come across. You, my dear friend, are a living testimony to how time sucks as a beautician!
  • When I look at the loads of candles on your cake, I fear for the glaciers in the Arctic and Antarctic regions.
  • For your birthday party, I brought with me the best gift ever – my amazing presence. Of course you’re welcome.
  • If you have never lied about your age, today is the perfect time to start practicing how to do it!
  • It’s strange how you are wildly celebrating the day you made your entry into this world when we both know that it was your poor mom who did all the hard work on that day.
  • Thanks to the severe heat emanating from your birthday cake, I have a very nasty sunburn.
  • For your birthday, I have bought you two amazing gifts you might need soon: a walking stick and false teeth.
  • I guess you’ve finally gotten to the age where flowers scare the living life out of you!
  • Worried about getting old? Bother no more! The good thing about old age is that it doesn’t last very long.
  • If age is just a number, then jail can also be considered to be just a room. Happy birthday all the same.
  • Wishing a fabulous birthday celebration to an amazing friend. Thanks for being the strongest sperm!
  • What was it like being alive during World War I? Have a great celebration, buddy.

Funny Birthday Wishes for your Sister

  • Happy Birthday, Sis! Here’s to sticking by you even though you’re the dork that’s still laughing at the joke five minutes later.
  • We’ve shared a room, clothes, toys, friends, and genes. Thank goodness we don’t have to share a birthday! Wishing you a wonderful birthday.
  • Happy Birthday, Sister!

Yeah, yeah, happy birthday.

  • You’re birthday gift is the privilege of having me as a sister. You’re welcome.
  • On your birthday, I have the pleasure of writing all of our cheap siblings’ names on the birthday card, even though I’m the only one who purchased the gift. Yay me!
  • Dear Big Sister, I’m glad you’ll always have a head to start over me in our race to old age. Have a spectacular birthday!
  • Today is the one day of the year that I am nice to you. Enjoy it because tomorrow I will go back to being the sarcastic, annoying sister that you hate to love!
  • Friends are for whenever. Sisters are forever. We have no choice. Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Wishes for your Brother

  • Happy Birthday, Brother. My wish is that you receive all the joy you deserve on your birthday. That wouldn’t amount to very much considering you have a lot of backed up karma heading your way.
  • Happy Birthday to the coolest person I know. Second only to me.
  • Dear Brother. On your birthday, I would love to tell you how wonderful, charming, kind, and amazing you are. But then I would have to lie. Have a great birthday!
  • Bickering with you over the years has become a pastime. Enjoy your birthday!

Happy Birthday to the best brother in the world.

  • The next time you are upset with me, remember who changed your dirty diapers when Mom and Dad were away. Happy Birthday, little bro!
  • We fight more than we hug but I know it’s just that brotherly tough love. Today is the one day a year I stop to say “I love you.”
  • To my brother, thanks for being a brat at the worst moments and the greatest friend at moments I most need it. Happy Birthday.
  • Happy Birthday, Big Bro! Thanks for always setting the bar so high…making all of my achievement pale in comparison.
  • You’ve always been the brother I’ve look up to…until I realized that I am way cooler than you. Happy Birthday!
  • The best part of being a big sister is getting to boss you around when mom’s not around. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday from your little brother. By the way, thanks for setting the bar low, making it easy for me to excel at being the favorite one.
  • Your face should be plastered in the dictionary next to “pain in my butt.” But I love you anyway! Happy Birthday.
  • Happy Birthday, Little Bro. Here’s to celebrating the day you were born and took away the pleasures of being an only child.
  • Never forget how blessed you are to have me as a sister. Have an awesome birthday!
  • Birthday Wishes for your Brother
  • It’s a good thing birthday wishes don’t come true. If they did, I would be an only child. Happy Birthday to you!
  • Dear Brother. Being your sister meant enduring your fart bombs and living in with your messy habits. It wasn’t always easy but there was never a dull moment. Happy Birthday.
  • Too many candles on your cake is causing a fire hazard. Congratulations! That means you’re getting too to count. Happy birthday.

Your age today is the new black!


Funny Birthday Wishes for your Boyfriend

  • You are like pumpkin pie to me, always welcome and oh so sweet. Happy birthday, honey!
  • A little birdie reminded me that today is special. Did you know today is national talking bird day? Just kidding, I know what day it is! Happy birthday to you, dear one!
  • I am so happy to be celebrating your birthday with your family. Here’s to hilarious stories and embarrassing antics on your behalf! Happy birthday, sweetheart!
  • Hey baby, since it’s your birthday, let’s have a pool party- and while we’re at it don’t bother bringing your bathing suit.
  • Dating you is like living in a candy shop- if you were any sweeter I might go into a comma from all the sugar. Happy Birthday, babe.
  • Since it’s your birthday I thought I should remind you how lucky you are to have me in your life.

I love you birthday boy.

  • If your heart was made of cheese I would wish to be a mouse. Happy Birthday to the best boyfriend.
  • If you needed someone to love you for life and you payed that lucky someone, I wouldn’t mind working for free. Happy birthday and please consider me for the job. Thanks.If loving you was easy everyone would do it. You’re welcome. Oh, and Happy Birthday.
  • My doctor friends have to watch me close these days- when I think of you my heart rate goes up to some really high levels. I think I’m in love. Happy birthday you heart stopper.
  • It’s a good thing that you are strong enough to carry me, since you give me weak knees I think you might have to hold me for a while. Happy birthday.
  • If love-making were a professional sport I would want to be on your team. Happy birthday, babe.
  • Some people may call us crazy- but I’m ok with that, because we are crazy good together. Happy birthday, babe.
  • Well, on your birthday I have good and bad news. The good news is that I will come to visit, but that bad news is that you might be arrested for stealing my heart. Happy  Birthday.
  • Sorry babe, but I can’t help you blow out your candles today- you’ve taken all my breath away. Happy Birthday.
  • Birthdays are so overrated. I just wanted an excuse for some birthday cake. But jokes aside, I love you and that’s worth celebrating. Happy birthday!
  • Funny Birthday Quotes for My Boyfriend
  • Who needs gifts when you have an amazing girlfriend like myself? All you’ll ever need is found in me. Happy birthday!
  • Dear Boyfriend, If you feel like an old fart, just remember that there is always someone much older than you and much closer to the grave. Have a fantastic birthday, old man!

 

Happy Birthday, Handsome! from a hot chick 🙂


  • You must have been a really good boy. Karma has brought you to me. Have a really great birthday!
  • I can’t find the cake underneath all these candles! Happy Birthday, old man.
  • You should be smiling on your birthday, Honey! The more birthdays you have, the longer you’ll live.
  • To the birthday boy, you’re getting up there in age.  Don’t spend too much time counting your candles or you’ll get dizzy.
  • I hope you’re feeling gracious on your birthday, it’s better to be alive than 6 feet under. Happy Birthday to you.
  • Happy birthday, honey. I’ll stick around forever… or at least until you stop looking younger than your true age. Stay sexy!
  • Congratulations on your 10,950th days alive. Happy 30th Birthday, Sweetie!
  • Find more wishes here: Funny Birthday Quotes for My Boyfriend
  • I’m a jealous girlfriend. You’d better not accept any Happy Birthdays unless they are coming from me.My sweet boyfriend, you are kind, caring, thoughtful, and very attentive. Sorry…I thought today was opposite day! Happy Birthday!
  • You always tell me to spend less money. Well, I’ve decided to take your advice. It is reflected in the birthday gift I bought you.
  •  I have a very talented boyfriend. Swallowing burgers whole is one of your many natural gifts. So I know that this birthday cake doesn’t stand a chance. Enjoy your birthday!
  • Loving you is not always easy, but eating this birthday cake will be. Wishing you a great birthday!
  • Birthday presents are overrated. I got you hugs & kisses instead. Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Mom

  • Happy Birthday, Mom! I didn’t remind my siblings of this day so that I’d look like the better child for remembering your birthday.
  • Have a special birthday, Mom! Sorry for the nine months I took over your womb.
  • Birthday Wishes for your Mother
  • Dear Mom, it’s your birthday. As a gift, I’m going to let you bake me my favorite cake…because it make you happy!
  • Happy Birthday, Mom. Wishing you many, many more to come! And I hope you age beautifully and gracefully. Because I have your genes and I will likely follow in your footsteps.
  • You are such a great mother. I’ve always wondered how you put up with me all these years and kept your cool. Then I found your wine stash and it all became clear. Happy Birthday!
  • Thank you for being the one person I can count on to love me even when I make the dumbest mistakes. Happy Birthday, with all my love.

Funny Birthday Wishes for Dad

  • Well, it’s been said that the older you get, the wiser you get. Well Dad, you must be really, really, really, really wise. Wishing you a great birthday.
  • Have an awesome birthday, Dad. No matter how old you get, you will always be the cool dad.
  • Dear Dad. I’m sure all those times you yelled at me, grounded me, and took privileges away from me were supposed to teach me lessons and make me a better person. I’m still waiting for that to kick in. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday, Dad!
  • Dad, I hope you have a great time celebrating your birthday. Today is the only day a year I let you dance in front of my friends despite the embarrassment that will befall me.
  •  Dear Dad. I learned a lot from you over the years. But I bet you never thought the day would come that I would have something to teach you: How to use your smartphone.

Happy Birthday to my funny dad


Funny Birthday Wishes for Husband

  • My mother and father may have disapproved of us getting married, but that didn’t stop me! Now that you know how stubborn I can be, you best prepare yourself for a lifetime of not getting what you asked for! So you can guess my answer to that “special” birthday request you had. Happy Birthday!
  • I do love how you stick to me like glue, it certainly makes it easy for me to keep track of where you are and what you are doing at all times. Happy Birthday!
  • I didn’t get you a fancy gift this year, instead I thought it best to go with something sentimental. Remember that time you told me how happy it makes you when I wear red. Well I’ve bought a whole new outfit and accessories in lush red colours. Just for you! Happy Birthday!
  • My dearest husband, you protect me, shelter me, feed me and make my life one of pure privilege and security. How can I ever thank you. Here’s an idea, I’ll help you keep healthy so that you can enjoy life to the full for as long as possible! Let’s start by cutting the cake from today! Happy Birthday!
  • It’s time for me to start pulling my weight around the house I know. So today for your birthday I’ve cleaned all the rooms and made the house pretty, all for you! So now do your part, get in the kitchen and make us some dinner. Happy Birthday!
  • If you can’t beat them, join them. That’s my father’s favorite business strategy, which is partly why we got married in the first place. I’m not afraid to say it to you, because let’s face it, I’m a real catch. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday. love you, babe!

  • You’re the best husband a lady could hope for. Kind, handsome, charming and clever. If only were also tall. Not to worry 4 out of 5 boxes is not bad at all! Happy Birthday!
  • When we have children I want them to have your nose, my attitude, your bravery and my legs. Wouldn’t that make the best birthday gift of all! However If too many of those things are missing, we might have to rethink our positions in this relationship. Have a very Happy Birthday!
  • It’s your birthday! You possess all of the great qualities in a husband. Did I also mention that it’s opposite day?
  • My dear husband, you are loving, thoughtful, considerate and chivalrous. I’ve taught you well! Happy Birthday.
  • Original Birthday Quotes for your Husband
  • After all these years, you know just the buttons to push to turn me on or drive me crazy. Have a great birthday.
  • My darling, my joy, the light of my life and the perfect specimen of a man: God has truly blessed me with such a fine husband, that everyday I feel obliged to thank him for making us meet and fall in love. Without you my glass was empty, and then when I finally had you it became completely full. The kids may be making a mess of things right now, but don’t worry, just a few more years until we are free again. Every year brings us one step closer! Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Wife

  • Happy Birthday to the most beautiful, caring, understanding human being on the face of the planet whom I will love and support for the rest of my life… regardless of if I’m allowed to go on that men’s golf outing this weekend…
  • You are the nutella to my toast and the ice cream to my apple pie. Happy Birthday to my beautiful wife.
  • Happy Birthday. I love you more than I love bacon… and that’s a heck of a lot.
  • Happy Birthday, my lovely wife! Today is the one day out of the year where I thank God for my mother-in-law.
  • Happy Birthday to you! You don’t look a day over…26…22..er…19..?? I love you and your eternal youth! You grow more beautiful with each passing year.

Happy Birthday!

  • There are only 2 absolutes in this world. Chuck Norris is the biggest badass in Hollywood and my love for you is infinite. Happy Birthday!
  • Happy Birthday to the man of my dreams and the root of my nightmares. Love, your beautiful wife!
  • More Birthday Wishes for your wife
  • Dear Wife, thanks for sticking with me through the good and the bad. Sorry that it was mostly bad! Love, your wonderful husband.
  • Happy Birthday, sweetheart. I’ll wash the dishes for you. Though I can’t guarantee they’ll be 100% clean enough to eat off of.
  • I felt like I opened a Wonka bar and found my golden ticket when I met you. Happy Birthday to my beautiful wife. I look forward to the many wonderful, scrumdiddlyumptious years ahead.

Funny Birthday Wishes for 21st Birthday

  • I made a sign for your car. Caution! Just made 21. Proceed with care!
  • You may be 21 but pretty soon you’ll be pushing 30. Let’s go out and party before all your good looks flee. Happy 21st birthday!
  • I know it’s your 21st birthday but there’s enough alcohol to go around. Slow down and take it easy. No need to get sloppy drunk. Happy birthday.
  • Happy 21st birthday! I only came to see if you can hold your liquor.

Ηope your birthday rocks!

  • Congrats, friend! You beat me in the race to become legal! Now I must watch you sip champagne while I bask in my envy.
  • Throw away your fake ID card. You’re actually 21 now! Have fun on your birthday!
  • The next best thing after an 18th birthday is a 21st birthday. Congratulations to you!
  • Shout it from the roof tops. You’re 21 and you’re proud of it! Happy Birthday!
  • All good things come to an end. You only have 364 more days to enjoy being 21. Enjoy it while it lasts!

Funny Wishes for 50th Birthday

  • 29 years ago you had the time of your life! Now you are turning 50 so don’t think you can drink as much. Happy birthday and have little bit of fun!
  • Maybe you are not so fast now, but you sure can have the party of your life. Have a great day and Happy Birthday!
  • Today you turn 18 with 32 years of experience! You are like the fine wine that gets more exquisite with age. Happy Birthday and have the best night of your life!
  • The only thing that remains the same after all these years is that dry sense of humor. Your hair, your gut, and even your face has changed. Happy birthday, old guy!

You make 50 look good! Happy Birthday.

  • You are one 50 year old who is stubborn enough to refuse someone’s offer to give you their seat in the bus. Happy Birthday and always stay young.
  • Age is just a number. Pace is something that fades with age. Try to make it on time on your celebration. Happy Birthday!
  • The worst thing about your birthday is the fact that the number of candles is going up but the cake keeps shrinking. Happy Birthday and don’t eat all the cake alone!
  • Middle age is when a man has got a handle on life and life has put handles on his waist. Happy birthday and all the best!
  • Looking fifty is great, of course if you are sixty! Have the birthday of your life!
  • You are the opposite wine, which gets better with age and time. Happy Birthday!
  • Remember how excited you were when you turned 10 years old? Well now you should be 5 times as excited! Happy birthday!
  • Happy Birthday! Don’t worry about turning 50. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.


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Funny Birthday Wishes and Sayings

birthday wishes that are funny

You’re on Funny Birthday Wishes and Sayings – Page 9 of 10 Birthday Wishes and Quotes. See menu at bottom of page.

These funny birthday wishes will give you something to write on Facebook, Instagram, in emails, cards and notes when your friends or family members are celebrating birthdays. Don’t just go with the tried and true:  Happy Birthday! Or, even the less work approach: HBD! Try something new – stand out from the crowd.

Birthdays are meant to be celebrated in person. Friends, family and all acquaintances shower the person with birthday wishes and blessings. Everyone desires to bring a smile to the person’s face and make their day special. Whether they are going to celebrate the day with a grand party or with just a small get-together of closest friends, it is always a good gesture to send the birthday boy or girl your best birthday wishes.

Hopefully, these funny birthday wishes will bring a smile to their face and make the day a little more special.

Funny Happy Birthday Wishes

Happy birthday. Don’t be sad you’re a year older. Keep your chin up…if you can! Well, you know what I mean.

Stop counting your candles and start counting your blessings. You still have hair on your head, not in your ears and nose! Happy birthday.

Happy birthday! At this point in your life, you should really think of making a new start. You should really start lying about your age.

You’ve joined the “Raiders of the Lost AARP” fan club. Happy Birthday!

For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.

If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them! Happy birthday!

The Best

You know how most people, on your birthday, tell you, “My goodness, you never seem to age.” Well, I’m not one of them. Happy birthday, old fart!

Happy birthday! Don’t count the candles on your cake or the wrinkles on your face. Just be glad that you’re not down for the count.

I made you a birthday cake to celebrate, but I couldn’t light the candles. It turns out the fire department requires a permit for bonfires.

Happy birthday. At your age, you should really try to see everything as larger than life…starting with LARGE print.

You know at your age your not getting any easier to live with – let’s start with the fact that we have to wait in line longer while you show cashiers your AARP card.

They say that with age comes wisdom. I’m not so sure…I’ve met a lot of really stupid old people. So far, you’re not one of them. Happy birthday.

First the army recruiters and now AARP — you must know you’re a wanted man. Happy Birthday!

Someone your age shouldn’t say “chill” unless they’re talking about the weather.

First goes the memory, then your eyesight, and then…I forgot. But, have a great birthday.

Link: History of birthdays

Funny Wishes for Men

Don’t worry about your age. You are still younger than your next birthday. Have a special day!

Be thankful for another year
It just reminded me that weeds don’t easily die.
Have a blast on your birthday!

Happy birthday! At our age, I don’t know why people expect us to remember their birthdays. On a good day, we’re lucky if we even remember where our car keys are!

A big Thanks to your Birthday, your birthday cake candles are giving us so much warmth to counter this chilling cold. Thanks again and happy Birthday!

Real men are proud of their age.
Best wishes on your birthday!

Happy birthday! Considering all the candles on your cake, I hope you remembered to top up your fire insurance.

Big boys don’t need toys.
But big boys should eat and blow their cakes.
May you have the best birthday ever!

Why people like you get depressed on birthday for becoming old. If you think on it, you are getting old on left 364 days of a year. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Another year, another reason to curse the inventor of the first modern mirror.

I lift a toast for your being older than last year.
It’s still an achievement though!
All the best this year for you!
Happy birthday!

You should be proud of your age. This year you are wiser, smarter and very close to reaping the benefits of senior discounts at restaurants. Happy birthday!

From this point forward, this is the youngest you’ll ever be. HBD!

Funny Wishes for Friends

Yes, you’re getting older and wrinklier every day, but it could be worse…you could still have an acne problem! Happy birthday!

Don’t worry about getting so old. I will have the fire extinguisher ready in case your birthday cake gets out of control. Love you my ancient friend! Happy birthday

My dear friend another year has gone, but unfortunately that doesn’t mean you’ve become any wiser. Chill! Happy birthday dear!

Sure, getting older is like a time travel movie in slow motion…but better slow than fast, I always say! I’m in no rush to get to the end of the film. Happy birthday!

On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship… and all that stuff that doesn’t cost anything. Happy birthday!

You are only young and reckless once, but you can be reckless well into your hip-breaking days. Happy birthday!

For your birthday this year, I hope you don’t mind if we avoid the fire hazard of so many candles and use electronic candles, instead. Happy birthday!

Happy Birthday to my wild and crazy friend. Thanks for keeping all of the adults busy with your antics when we were kids so that I never was punished!

More Funny Happy Birthday Greetings

For Sister

Well sis, I have to tell you I never thought
You’d make it this long without getting caught
After all of these years, mom and dad still think you’re the best
Until I start letting them know things you never confessed!

I hear you are kind of a big deal now. Well, you’re still my baby sister and I still have your back. I saw that birthday fairy headed your way, so I hit her on the head with a broom and knocked her butt out! Happy Birthday, Sister!

To a sister who I can say is one in a million
You’re a unique combination of a best friend and a villain
Have a spectacular birthday, let out lots of cheers
And here’s to many more over the next many years!

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! You look like a monkey and you belong in a zoo! There ya go, little sister. I hope your birthday is absolutely bananas!

Sis, you were a handful as a kid but you seem better now
I’ll assume it’s the therapy, I won’t inquire about how. Happy birthday dear!

Sis I want to tell you things I’ve never said
That I no longer think you have a thick head
Even if I did I know you probably feel the same
And for that we only have our parents to blame!
Happy birthday!

Funny Birthday Wishes For Brother

I hope your lungs have enough power to blow up the entire candle at one go. Happy Birthday Brooo…

Happy Birthday to my sweet brother. I hope you get one more disease of love and relationship. May virus of fun enter to your life? Happy Fun and humor on Birthday. This hilarious Birthday wishes is only for you.

I asked Mom and Dad to tell me about the day you were born. Know what they said? They can’t remember that far back! I guess that means you’re ancient. Happy birthday, old guy!

Happy birthday, it’s going to be a great day
I’ll call you and you won’t answer but that’s okay
Because I know you’ll get around to calling me back
It’s your birthday so I’ll cut you a little slack!

Don’t worry, brother, age is only a number. Although, in your case, it’s a very, very, very, very big number! Happy birthday!

But seriously I’m kidding you’re beyond compare
I know in the end you will always be there
Because that’s what the most amazing siblings do
Happy Birthday bro!

For your birthday, I decided to get you some practical gifts. Now, I know you might think the toupee is a little bit over top but, seriously, it won’t be long now, brother! Happy birthday!

Happy Birthday to one old fart from another! We’re so blessed to be able to grow old and senile together. Who knows—we might even get to be roommates in the old age home?! How crazy would that be! You’re the best brother anyone could ever ask for! Happy birthday!

These funny birthday wishes can serve effectively as Facebook captions, scrapbook comments or Instagram caption.

Funny 40th Birthday Wishes

No woman should have kids over 40. Really, 40 kids is enough. Happy birthday!

‘May all your dreams come true’ – this is what I wished you on your twentieth birthday. ‘I hope all your dreams have come true’ – this is what I am hoping for you on your fortieth birthday because it is too late to start dreaming now. Happy 40th.

Some birthday advice: don’t run upstairs right before you have to blow out 40 candles. Happy birthday!

40 is when you finally get your head together and your body has other ideas. Happy birthday!

Age is relative. If you think you are twenty, you will feel like you are young and twenty. If you think that you are fifty, you will feel like you are old and fifty. So how young do you want to feel on your fortieth? Happy 40th birthday.

Be wise with speed; a fool at forty is a fool indeed. Happy birthday!

Forty is the age when it suddenly dawns upon you that life is indeed, very short. Better late than never, start doing the things that you have always dreamt about. Happy 40th.

The forties are pretty much like the thirties, except it takes longer to recover from a big party. And you start to get more sensible tattoos. Happy 40th birthday!

Be happy that you are still 3,650 days away from turning fifty. Maybe this is the only way you can console yourself about turning forty. Happy 40th birthday.

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Links

Page 1 – Birthday Wishes

2 – Happy Bday Wishes

3 – Big Day Messages

4 – Wishes for Sister

5 – Birthday Quotes

6 – Funny Quotations

7 – For Son

8 – Thank you for Wishes

9 – Funny Birthday Sayings

10 – 21st Birthday Quotations

To Share is Divine...

We have prepared for you the 105 best funny birthday wishes that you can choose as card or a message to send funny happy birthday wishes.

100 Best Happy Birthday Wishes, Messages, Quotes, Status for Brother

birthday wishes that are funny

Happy birthday funny folks! Celebrating big days with friends and family are the best times to put your good humor on display. Nearly everyone tends to be in a good mood and looking for a reason to laugh. Don’t disappoint them – come with your “A” game. Check out some messages, wishes, quotes and jokes below for ideas.

Funny Birthday Wishes

For your birthday, I wish that every mirror in the world would vanish so you wouldn’t know that you are getting older. Enjoy!

You are gradually getting to the top of the hill. It’s better than being buried under it.

You should be proud of your age. This year you are wiser, smarter and very close to reaping the benefits of senior discounts at restaurants.

Don’t regret the grey hairs on your head. Aging is a privilege granted to a select few. Happy Birthday!

Sister

To someone totally awesome, gorgeous, funny, and sort of reminds me of myself! You are a fabulous sister and you know you owe it all to me!

Dearest sister, please stop being younger than me every year! It just isn’t fair! Best wishes to you on your special day. May your beauty and humor never fade!

I can’t believe that someone so annoying and immature grew up to be someone I love dearly and consider one of my best friends! Happy Birthday to my wonderful, beautiful, and intelligent sister!

Congratulations on having survived another year with me as your sister! May this year be your best year yet!

Brother

Before you go out today, make sure your pockets are empty. It’s your day to have others treat you! I hope you enjoy your birthday, dear brother.

You might get all the responsibility for being the older brother, but you have no idea how hard it is to be the favorite of the family. Enjoy your day!

As the true and good-hearted brother that I am, I have remembered your birthday and forgotten your age.

You’ve already taught me so much as my older brother. Now I’m learning from you on how (not) to age gracefully. Have a great Bday!

 

Happy Birthday Funny Friends

For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.

May my friend on this special day be able to set all the jealous people on fire and use the flame to burn the candles and blow them off with a happy smile, a very happy and amazing day to you.

I made you a birthday cake to celebrate, but I couldn’t light the candles. It turns out the fire department requires a permit for bonfires.

Having friends never has been more awesome! You truly are a great person to have around, even when you eat everything on the table. We still love you anyway! Happy birthday!

Tip: These Happy Birthday Funny Messages work nicely as captions for social media.

You might like: Cool and Hip Quotes.

Husband

I do love how you stick to me like glue, it certainly makes it easy for me to keep track of where you are and what you are doing at all times.

You’re the best husband a lady could hope for. Kind, handsome, charming and clever. If only were also tall. Not to worry, 4 out of 5 boxes are not bad at all!

I didn’t get you a fancy gift this year, instead I thought it best to go with something sentimental. Remember that time you told me how happy it makes you when I wear red? Well, I’ve bought a whole new outfit and accessories in lush red colors. Just for you!

It’s time for me to start pulling my weight around the house I know. So today for your birthday I’ve cleaned all the rooms and made the house pretty, all for you! So now do your part, get in the kitchen and make us some dinner.

Funny Messages for Birthday Celebrations

No one will stop tonight from eating your favorite items. I wish you a happiest birthday ever.

Happy birthday. At your age, you should really try to see everything as larger than life…starting with LARGE print.

Hey, no matter how old have you become today, just make sure that you don’t forget that where you kept the car keys. Good luck!

Can you remember those young, healthy and colorful days of our young age? It’s always feels awesome when you can recall all those memories.

Messages

Don’t be sad you’re a year older. Keep your chin up…both of ’em! Well, you know what I mean.

If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!

This year is the easiest one for me to pick a birthday gift for you,

I choose makeup for you to apply plenty of it to hide your wrinkles and your age.

At our age, the only way to look younger is to add at least a decade to your age.

So, you are still younger than the age you will be on the next birthday. Have a special celebration.

Just smile while you still have your natural teeth.

Another year has gone, but that doesn’t mean you’ve become wiser.

We need a flamethrower instead of a lighter to light up all of your candles.

Check out our Funny Birthday Quotes from Dr Seuss.

Witty and Comical

Don’t count the candles on your cake or the wrinkles on your face. Just be glad that you’re not down for the count.

The main thing to do to remain young is to lie when it comes to your age, eat slowly and dress like a teenager.

You’ve finally reached the age of wisdom but nobody wants to listen to you.

There are plenty of years that I can remember for those history classes in our schools. But, the bad news is I can’t remember your birth date as it wasn’t in our course. May be I’m late, but have a great one.

You should count your age not your wrinkles. Count your experiences and blessings not your mistakes.

Stop counting your candles and start counting your blessings. You still have hair on your head, not in your ears and nose!

The room is getting hotter, please blow the candles before your room gets on fire.

It’s cold out there, but I feel much warm for your candles. Man, your birthday is hot!

They say that with age comes wisdom. I’m not so sure…I’ve met a lot of really stupid old people. So far, you’re not one of them.

Time may heal all wounds, but it leaves you with an unhealthy glow, saggy skin and crow’s feet.

Funny Birthday Images and Memes

 

In Spanish

Muchas muchas felicidades del día!

Que puedas disfrutar de este día haciendo las cosas especiales que le gusta hacer. Feliz cumpleaños a it.

Amigo del feliz cumpleaños !! Que puedas superar todas las dificultades y desafíos que vienen en su vida.

Que Dios te bendiga en tu cumpleaños. Te enviamos nuestro amor.

Felicidades en tu día! Espero que lo pases genial.

Humorous Quotes for the Big Day

Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
Robert Frost

You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.
Felix Severn

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
Unknown

The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.
Rose Nylund

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Erma Bombeck

You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope

Laughable Sayings

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
John Glenn

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday.’
Steven Wright

Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead centre of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
Franklin P. Adams

The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.
Richard J. Needham

Life would be infinitely better if we could be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.
Mark Twain

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
Father Larry Lorenzoni

The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.
Doris Day

I’ve got everything I had 20 years ago, except now it’s all lower.
Gypsy Rose Lee

After 30, a body has a mind of its own.
Bette Midler

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
Mary Schmich

Middle age is when you have the choice of two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home earlier.
Edgar Watson Howe

The bad news is that I have a bad memory and am no good at math. The good news is that I have no idea how old I am.
Melanie White

Jokes

What’s the easiest way to remember your wife’s birthday?
Forget it once!

What do you always get on your birthday?
Another year older!

What did the elephant wish for on his birthday?
A trunkful of presents!

What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
They were all born on holidays.

Where do you get a birthday present for your cat?
From a cat-alogue.

How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?
They relish the moment.

You might like our hilarious Dad Jokes.

Age Riddles

What goes up and never comes down?
Your age!

What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake.

Why did Susan stand on her head at the birthday party?
They were having upside-down cake!

Were any famous men born on your birthday?
No, only little babies.

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.

What’s the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?
Get married on his birthday.

What did the bald guy say when he was given a comb for his birthday?
Thanks, I’ll never part with it.

Why did Tommy hit his birthday cake with a hammer?
It was a pound cake!

What was the average age of a cave man?
Stone Age!

What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake.

What did the birthday cake say to the ice cream?
You’re cool!

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Bday Quotes

21st Birthday

Greetings for Son

For Mom

Birthday Messages

To Share is Divine...

WATCH THE VIDEO ON THEME: 🎂🎁🎈 Funny birthday wishes- "Happy Birthday"- parrot singing 🐦

Who says birthday wishes have to be mushy and serious? Make your friends laugh on their birthday by sending a funny birthday message.

birthday wishes that are funny
Written by Tebar
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