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Words of wisdom for the bride to be funny

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Words of wisdom for the bride to be funny
December 21, 2018 1st Anniversary Wishes No comments

A Guide on how to write the best father of the bride speech for your daughter on her wedding day with father of the bride speech examples, tips and advice. Recall a funny anecdote or simply tell her how proud you are of the woman she's you put the subtitles on in this video to truly appreciate his wonderful words.

Help me come up with some cute or funny advice for a bride-to-be. It's for one of those activities at a bridal shower where everyone writes little bits of advice in a book for her to keep, along with a recipe. I can't stand the usual "let him think he's in charge" old-fashioned sexist stuff, and I think she'd appreciate a joke or a quote or something that's a bit more up to date than that.

At my own bridal shower my friends did a similar thing, and people included some of the old-fashioned stuff, personal jokes about my guy, quotes from books we've both read, and lube recommendations. I don't know the bride (or groom) well enough to make personal jokes, although she's got a great sense of humour and wouldn't mind dirty jokes in general. I'd like to leave the personal stuff to her close friends, which leaves me with... what?

posted by harriet vane to Human Relations (16 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite


Funny marriage advice and wedding quotes for newly wed bride and groom. Five magic words for a successful marriage: I'm sorry, it's my fault! Some wedding .

Father of the Bride Quotes

words of wisdom for the bride to be funny

Funny marriage advice

Funny advice for marriage

Advice for bride: don't expect your husband will change after marriage.
For groom: don't expect your wife won't change!
On your wedding day, remember you can't buy happiness - but a luxury home and a few sports cars on the driveway could help!
Advice for man: marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is... a husband!
Advice for her: he stole your heart, so steal his last name!
One piece of advice for a successful marriage - Keep her happy!
Advice for newlywed: you love each other because you hate the same stuff!
Funny advice for both: the happiest people don't HAVE the best of everything, they just MAKE the best of everything.
Funny marriage advice: marriage should not be about looking at each other but looking in the same direction!
Advice for a husband: never laugh at wife's choices, because you are on of them!
Don't sweat the small stuff on your wedding day - Your marriage has only just begun!
Two things are necessary to keep wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Keep calm! It's only a wedding...
A simple "I love you" means more than money.
(American singer Frank Sinatra)
Funny toast for newlyweds:
Here's to love and laughter,
And happily ever after.
As a husband and wife
Starts ther new life,
Let's us toast together
Their true love forever!

Funny quotes for newlywed

Marriage is not always 50-50. Some days you will wake up and may have to give 90% and your spouse will give only 10%. Other days you may give just 25% and your husband will have to put in the rest 75%!
Five magic words for a successful marriage: I'm sorry, it's my fault!
Some wedding advice from the wisdom of the ages: Happy Wife, Happy Life!
Do all things with love!
You may now update your Facebook status...
Remember marriage is like a flower - Keep it fed and watered so it can blossom and grow!
If at the end of the wedding party you are married to the one you love - then everything went perfectly!
Congratulations! You have found that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Advice for husband: If at first time you don't succeed - try doing it the way your wife told you!
Congrats on your promotion from "When will you marry?" to "When are you going have babies???"
Funny quote about marriage: Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops...
Advice for clever bride: A man can be the head of the house, but a woman is a neck and she may turn the head any direction she wants!
For woman: from now you can eat whatever you want!

Find more funny wedding quotes

A lot of other jokey quotes about marriage.

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The 12 funniest quotes about marriage

words of wisdom for the bride to be funny

Funny marriage advice for newlyweds, funny marriage tips, advice geared towards men or advice for brides – all of these is guaranteed to get your wedding guests giggling and will help the wedding couple ease some pressure off them amidst all the wedding rigmarole. 

Marriage advice tends to be so serious.

Spending and building a life with someone should be taken seriously but like all things in life, there is a lighthearted and very humorous side to marriage. Funny marriage advice is actually more likely to click whether it is funny marriage advice for newlyweds, funny marriage tips, advice geared towards men or advice for brides.

Funny marriage advice for newlyweds

The newlywed stage is one of the best. Newlyweds haven’t had time to grow tired of each other, they still bother to look good for one another and quirks are still, “cute”. All kidding aside here is some helpful and funny marriage advice for newlyweds:

  1. Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight all night.
  2. This is fantastic advice because it is absurd! It will definitely help put things in perspective when that first post-marriage argument occurs. Most disagreements between spouses are about something trivial that was blown out of proportion.
  3. Marriage is an ‘As Is’ deal. Do not try to change your spouse, that’s as good as it gets.
  4. Always remember the three words, “Let’s go out.”
  5. Date night isn’t a thing of the past. Married couples that still date each other stay together. As a plus, these words may stop an argument or hide the fact that you forgot to make dinner like you promised.
  6. Leave the toilet seat down. Enough said.
  7. Women, don’t make a fuss if he does not cry. He just finds it hard to show that emotion.
  8. Don’t think he’s gross if he farts; it’s just going to happen a lot and you have to live with it. And don’t think she’s pathetic just because she obsesses about her skin or nail paint colors. That’s just how men and women are.

These funny marriage quotes for newlyweds will surely add spunk in the relationship and bring the couple closer to each other.

Humorous marriage advice for brides

Funny marriage advice for the bride is always a huge help. The ones below are sure to give you a good laugh:

  1. Beauty fades and so will his eyesight. There’s no sense worrying.
  2. Women want to look good for their spouses. Ideally, you want to look the same as you did on your wedding day. Thanks to his fading eyesight, you will! Whew. What a relief.
  3. Marriage is all about give and take. You give him something to eat and you take some time to yourself.
  4. Put the toilet seat up every once in a while. He may think that you are considering his needs but throwing some confusion into his normal pattern may reverse the bad habit.
  5. Make him something to eat. That will keep him quiet for a while.
  6. Keep your man comfortable and well-fed. Remember, a happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries.
  7. You don’t need to be on the same wavelength to succeed in marriage. You just need to be able to ride each other’s waves – ~ Toni Sciarra Poynter
  8. When you dress up, dress up for yourself but dress up for your husband too. And put on lipstick.
  9. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.”- Ann Bancroft
  10. Finally, before you marry him, listen to him chew. If you can stand that noise for the rest of your life, then go ahead with the wedding.

It’s a good idea to make a woman read these quotes before her wedding day. These cute and funny pieces of advice for the bride will make her glow with glee.

Humorous marriage advice for grooms

All men appreciate a little humor and when it comes to marriage, the lighthearted the better. A few pieces of funny marriage advice for men include:

  1. When you have a project to get done, get your wife to do it for you. She does not have time to complain about you not spending time with her and better yet, she feels included. It’s a win-win! Of course, you shouldn’t really pass your work on to your wife but the thing to take away from this is inclusion.
  2. Secondly, the two best phrases to include in your vocabulary are, “I understand” and “You’re right”.
  3. Lastly, never lie about anything big but always lie about time. You want a 45 minute to an hour safety window if the two of you are going out. This will avoid making her feel rushed, ensures that your wife looks amazing and gives you time to relax.
  4. Talk to her and share your thoughts. Be best friends. She wants to hear your heart.
  5. She needs you to cheer her on. Let her know you believe she can take on the world.
  6. Say yes far more often than you say no.
  7. “If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman: she will be all ears.”- Sigmund Freud
  8. “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates
  9. Let her cry sometimes. She needs to.
  10. Find ways to say “I love you” that don’t involve sex.

These pieces of funny wedding advice will not only make the groom giggle but give him some wisdom to tread the path of marriage more carefully.

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5  min read

25 Feb, 2019

Words of Wisdom for the bride and groom including funny and poignant quips and jokes to make your best man speech THE BEST MAN SPEECH.

23 Pieces of the Best Marriage Advice EVER (Collected Over 13 Years)

words of wisdom for the bride to be funny

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Funny wedding greetings can brighten up the newlyweds’ day and let them know, in a humorous way, that you’re happy for them. Life is too short to take everything dead serious. Weddings are joyous occasions – time to have some fun!

Funny Wedding Greetings

Being married is like any other job; it helps if you like your boss.

Let the fighting commence! Congratulations married couple.

It’s such a blessing to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Congratulations!

It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Let’s get ready to rumble! Congratulations wedding participants.

If it weren’t for marriages, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

We put the party in bridal party — Looking forward to your wedding. The Bridal Party.

There are three rings of marriage that form your gift: the engagement Ring, the wedding Ring, and the suffeRING.

A happy marriage depends on spouses saying this simple phrase, “Yes Dear.”

Congratulations on convincing your lovely bride to settle on you – Beauty and the Beast.

I couldn’t be happier for you signing your life away.

All dressed up and everywhere to go!

Sharing is caring…but sometimes enough is enough.

Tip: Check out these wedding ideas.

Humorous Ideas

Marriage is all about give and take – the more your give, the more he’ll take.

Congrats on your marriage. Just remember, happiness is a very over-rated feeling according to this author.

Marriage is about communication and compromise. She’ll be doing the communication and you’ll be doing the compromise.

More men get food poisoning from wedding cake than any other edible.

You might like: What to Write in a Wedding Card

Happy Greetings

A person is incomplete without a spouse, but you’re finished with one. Happy married life!

If the invitations suddenly disappeared, eloping is an option.

A blind wife and a deaf husband make for an ideal couple.

Your love inspired wedding was a glorious occasion. Congrats.

Your kids grow up and move out. Your husband never does. Just sayin’. Best wishes on your marriage.

Our wedding gift to you is two life preservers.

When two hearts love each other, don’t forget the prenuptial.

Look, I know a good travel agent if either of you changes your mind. If not, have a wonderful wedding!

Check out: Engagement Congratulations Messages

Seven bridal shower games, three helpful forms and a keepsake for the bride. Click on image for more info.

Funny Wedding Wishes

Getting married is a two-way street – do all you can to avoid head-on collisions. A life loved is precious.

They say opposites attract – If that’s the case this marriage could last for a very long time. Best wedding wishes.

Before you’re married, you will fall madly in love with each other. After you’re married, you will just be mad at each other. Oh well, best wishes on your wedding.

Marriage: Where “Yes Dear” are the magic words.

What do fun with the boys, out on the town and partying have in common. Three things you won’t be doing after the wedding. Good luck.

“Spending time with friends” will now be a distant memory.

From single to married, from available to busy, from no worries to no money — You sure you want to do this?

Like a well constructed house, this marriage is built to last. Think of jewelry on birthdays as your insurance.

Marriage is the equivalent of signing a marriage contract which does not give you the option of renewing it every year. Congratulations to a perfect pair.

Getting married is like a class on Shakespeare. You get a little comedy, some romance and a lot of tragedy. Congratulations.

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.

Funny Sayings

More wedding inspired sayings.

Looking forward to the “having” and the “holding.”

Bride:  We finish each others — Groom: Sentences!

When you love person, don’t hang wallpaper together.

Our life journey has just begun. Are we there yet?

Wedding Love – Honeymoon Love More!

Eat, drink and be married! Check!

If you know of any funny wedding greetings you’d like to share, please send them our way! Thanks.

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words of wisdom for the bride to be funny
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