Send warm wedding anniversary wishes with these anniversary “Love and much happiness to one of our all-time favorite couples! “Happy Anniversary, with all my love, to the strongest, kindest, funniest, best guy I know.
Funny wedding anniversary quotes can be a delightfully humorous way to acknowledge and celebrate your anniversary.
After all, marriage is hard, funny, and sometimes unthinkable (i.e. you probably know way too much about his bodily functions)
Use these funny and relatable quotes and anniversary wishes as text messages, Facebook status or any way you’d like – to have a good laugh together on this special day.
Below you’ll find clever and funny quotes, words, and wishes you can text, message or post on social media to celebrate your wedding anniversary and your marriage.
👉 Let’s start off with some general observations about marital “bliss”:
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
– Woody Allen
A marriage anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.
For Marriage to Be a Success, Every Woman and Every Man Should Have Her and His Own Bathroom. The End.
– Catherine Zeta-Jones
If two people love each other, nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat.
When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
– Katharine Hepburn
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead… get married. If you first don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.
Marriage is just texting each other – “do we need anything from the grocery store?” – until one of you dies.
Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner
Marriage is basically just whispering, “Are you awake? I need to show you this cat video.
Marriage Has No Guarantees. If That’s What You’re Looking for, Go Live with A Car Battery.
– Erma Bombeck
An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
– Agatha Christie
Husbands are the best people to share a secret with because they never listen anyway.
Behind every great man – there’s a woman rolling her eyes.
– Jim Carrey
Unless you want to forget your marriage, it’s a good idea to remember your anniversary.
– Melanie White
Drug stores understand life. That’s why the Anniversary cards and Sympathy cards are right next to each other.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
– Groucho Marx
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
– Henry Youngman
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
– Phyllis Diller
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong – admit it.
Whenever you’re right – shut up.
Marriage: when dating goes too far.
Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.
– Jean Kerr
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.
I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.
– Elizabeth Evans
The four most important words in any marriage: I’ll do the dishes.
Marriage is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.
Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlists.
– James Garner
Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener
If We Take Matrimony at Its Lowest, We Regard It as A Sort of Friendship Recognized by The Police.
– Robert Louis Stevenson
👉 Want to send him your love? see my list of 100+ love text messages – for him!
Here are some super funny anniversary wishes you can text your husband or post on your Facebook status:
1. “Happy Anniversary to the best first husband I’ll ever have.”
2. “A wedding band is the smallest handcuff ever made, I’m glad I chose my cellmate wisely.”
3. “You’re my favorite pain in the ass”
4. “And here I thought you were just a one-night stand. Happy anniversary!”- Pauline Thomason
5. “I shave my legs for you. It must be love.”
👉 See my list of 18 cute (sometimes naughty) ways to flirt with your husband 😊
6. “Well, we made it another year without one of us either ending up dead or in jail.”
7. “Happy anniversary! Just imagine if our marriage was functional as you make it appear on Facebook.”
8. “I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.”
9. “On our anniversary, I want you to know how much I’ve enjoyed annoying you all this time and how excited I am to keep doing it in the future.”
10. “I’m so privileged that you chose me to be that special woman in your life who will forever have the honor of picking up your socks and washing your underwear.”
11. “I vow to still grab your butt when you’re old and wrinkly.”
12. “I still love you. Even though you fart in your sleep.”
13. “Happy Anniversary! Now if I can just remember your birthday this year.”
14. “My dear husband, I want you. To do more around the house.”
15. “I hope you keep grabbing my butt every time you look for the remote.”
16. “I fall in love with you each and every day. Except for yesterday. Yesterday you were really annoying.”
17. “All I want for next year is you. Just kidding, give me diamonds.”
18. “I love waking up next to you in the morning. Just don’t breathe on me.”
19. You have me, so I don’t know what else you could wish for. But knock yourself out.”
20. “Never laugh at your wife’s choices you are one of them.”
21. “One year down, freaking forever to go. Happy anniversary.”
22. “Happy anniversary! We’ve been through a lot and most of it was your fault.”
23. “Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh, I put up with you, so we’re even.
24. “I love you. Thanks for killing all the spiders this year.”
25. “Thanks for being my unpaid therapist.”
26. “Being married to you is like having a best friend who never listens to what you say.”
👉 See my list of 14 quotes about being ignored by someone you love.
27. “I know you appreciate the fact that before we were married you didn’t know there was a wrong way to put the milk back to the fridge.”
28. “Happy anniversary my love. Eat all the leftovers again and I will end you.”
29. “I love you so much I’d take a bullet for you. Not on the head…but maybe like…the leg”
30. “I love you more than carbs but less than cheese!”
31. “Sorry, no refunds. Happy anniversary!”
32. Happy anniversary day from the best thing that ever happened to you.”
33. “I Love You So Much I’d Fight a Bear for You. Well Not a Grizzly Bear Because They Have Claws, And Not a Panda Bear Because They Know Kung Fu… But A Care Bear, I’d Definitely Fight a Care Bear for You.”
And now, a few funny marriage quotes for those of us married for 10 years or more:
1. “Let’s do the one thing I really like to do in the bedroom. Vacuuming.”
2. “I really love you, etc. etc. etc. Can we eat now?”
3. “Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you.”
4. “You’re still here? I like it.”
5. “After all this time, my love for you is still stronger than my desire to be single.”
6. “Holy shit. We’re still married!”
7. “There’s no one else I would rather snoring as hell beside me.”
8. “Let’s keep making memory after memory together; even though you’re losing yours.”
9. “Happy anniversary! I want to spend the rest of my money with you.”
10. “Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.
11. “Happy anniversary to my husband, who still looks at me the way he looks at other women.”
12. “Congratulations on choosing a spouse who makes you look sane.”
13. “Let’s never give up on trying to change each other.”
Do you have a favorite quote you’d like to share? go on, don’t keep it to yourself – use the comment section below!
Rooting for ya,
Filed Under: Marriage Quotes
Receiving happy anniversary funny wishes would raise some eyebrows on some but with the sort of friends.
American Greetings A Wish for Two Anniversary Card with Foil
by American Greetings
"A Wonderful Card For That Special Couple" - by Dean Family (Planet Earth)
This is a beautiful, expensive-looking card for that special couple's anniversary. We got it for our daughter and her husband's remembrance of that day only a couple of years ago when they tied the knot. The outside says, "On Your Anniversary -- A Wish For Two," and the inside continues, "A wish for you both that you always have new reasons to smile, favorite memories to look back on, and the very best of times ahead. Happy Anniversary."
The card itself is beautifully printed, with foil and real ribbon, and gives the message on its own that this celebration is special to you.
Well done! Recommended.
The tradition of giving gifts on particular wedding anniversary celebrations originated in Medieval Europe when Germans would present wreaths to wives of 25 or 50 years. Silver symbolized harmony and was presented after 25 years. Prior to the 1930’s other year markers were celebrated to include the 1st anniversary, 5th, 10th and so forth. Over time this has evolved to traditional and modern symbols with every specific flowers that are chosen to celebrate the number of years. The following list of happy anniversary messages are intended to be humorous and provide great ideas for friends who wish to celebrate along the joyous couple.
A day of loving. A week of quarrel. A month of war. A year of marriage. Happy Anniversary!
Being married is like being in a battlefield. You have to always prepare yourself for the war. Happy Anniversary though!
Best wishes on this special day, may your marriage stay strong and indestructible for many years to come!
Congratulations on another anniversary that proves that you are blessed with each other.
Congratulations! Cheers to another year of suffering and misery.
Each anniversary that passes it gets a little easier for me to accept that fact that you will be stuck with me for the rest of my life.
God proved his sense of humor when he matched you and me together. He also proved He’s a genius.
Good thing you are better at forgiving me than I am of making your life difficult. Happy belated Anniversary! Will you forgive me again?
Happy Anniversary to a couple of people who probably shouldn’t have gotten married, but somehow have made it work all these years.
Happy Anniversary! Now if I can just remember your birthday this year.
Here’s to two imperfect pieces that fit together perfectly.
I am happy to know two amazing people who have been together for an amazing amount of time. That’s you two!
I can’t imagine where I’d be without you… I’d probably be dead.
I probably wouldn’t have made it this long being married, but I can’t remember how to wash my socks from my bachelor years. Come to think of it, I don’t think I ever did know how to wash my socks.
I was going to get you an anniversary card, but I thought it more fitting that I get you a sympathy card for our anniversary. Misery loves company.
If I had to choose to do it all over again I would marry you again… I’m not so sure about having the kids though
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
I’m wishing you guys another great year together.
It’s that magical time of the year again. Oh wait, it isn’t Christmas. It’s just our anniversary.
Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end.
Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
No matter what happens, I know that I can depend on you. Maybe that’s why I do so many stupid things. Happy Anniversary!
Old age is when it takes you longer to get over a good time than to have it.
Thanks for being a couple of role models of marriage. Happy Anniversary!
The best part of being married to you is that I know you won’t testify against me if I’m ever on trial. I wouldn’t testify against you either, even if you killed me.
The longer you’re with someone the more you rub off on each other. So I don’t expect that at this point there is much of you left as individuals.
The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.
Today we celebrate your most difficult accomplishment, staying married to me all these years.
We’re hoping you two are blessed with many more years together.
What an awesome thing it is to be together for so long. Congratulations!
You two are an inspiration to those who are blessed to know you.
Almost half of marriages have secrets when it comes to spending and debt. An estimated 46% of married couples have a spouse that is currently paying off debt that their partner is unaware of. This is due to the desired avoidance in an argument while 20% are concerned it will end their relationship. The below infographic outlines interesting statistics and facts of the spending habit in marriages.
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Last Updated: 10th July, 2019
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